Jiang Wen admits the biggest failure in life: living in her mother's bad comments will have a shadow all her life.

Source | wanshui0 1

Jiang Wen's Thirteen Invitations to Xu Zhiyuan revealed the secret he had hidden in his heart for many years: the biggest failure in his life was that he didn't get along well with his mother.

When looking out the window and saying this sentence, the tough guy who has always been domineering was disappointed and confused.

Jiang Wen was born in a cadre family, his mother was a primary school music teacher, and his father was a soldier to resist US aggression and aid Korea. His real name is, while his brother's real name is Jiang.

Jiang Wen was naughty and naughty since he was a child, but he was stubborn, doing bad things behind adults' backs, while Jiang didn't have the heart and never knew how to hide it.

Later, grandpa changed their names, hoping that naughty soldiers would be more literate and timid soldiers would be more brave to make up for their lack of character.

It is true that all children are very clever. Wujiang was admitted to the Film Academy for three years, but Jiang Wen was admitted to the Chinese Opera once.

He showed the notice to his mother, thinking that she would be happy for herself. As a result, my mother glanced at the notice and threw it aside. "You didn't wash the pot of clothes. Don't mention this to me. " Jiang Wen has to wash clothes.

After starring in Red Sorghum, Jiang Wen became popular all over the country. If she is an ordinary parent, she will be extremely proud, but her mother is very cold. She didn't feel anything, just complaining about how uncomfortable she was in the jar.

In order to please his mother, he bought her a house after he became famous, but her mother didn't like that house and didn't live there at all. She lived in an old house on the street of the Ministry of Internal Affairs until Jiang Wen was in her forties.

Jiang Wen said that she didn't know what to do to make her happy. "She always looks unhappy."

A mother who is always unhappy has exerted a strong oppression on his mind, resulting in his lack of self-confidence-yes, Jiang Wen, who looks domineering, admits that he is not confident and does not know how to blend in with the crowd.

So the screenwriter Liao Yimei commented on Jiang Wen like this:

He hopes that he and his mother can be as harmonious as other mothers and children, and envies that others can hug their mothers in public, which is unimaginable to him, even in private.

What makes Jiang Wen feel more sorry is that his mother died in March 20 18, and he never had a chance to mend their relationship.

After his mother died, he was still trapped in such a tangle for a long time.

10 For many years, Jiang Wen always looked at the angry bull repeatedly.

In this movie, Robert De Niro plays an inferior, suspicious and aggressive boxer. Whenever anger rushes to his head, he can't control his fist and will fight with his wife and brother. He created more pain with the pain in his heart.

Jiang Wen said that the atmosphere in his home was combative.

Since childhood, Jiang Wen was beaten by her mother;

When he grows up, he will understand his mother's violence.

But he doesn't understand why his son's fame and filial piety can't make her happy.

Jiang Wen once talked to the writer of The Dark Knight (probably referring to jonathan nolan). This Jew and China have similar traditions. After earning money, he bought a house for his mother, and then her mother was very happy and thought he was a good son.

When it comes to this matter, Jiang Wen's tone is full of envy. The subtext he didn't say was:

Jiang Wen's confusion reminds me of my mother.

My mother is a strong person. She is very capable. When I was a child, my father ran around all the year round. She takes us to do all the heavy housework at home and never holds my father back.

But her feelings are always reserved.

I am clingy, and I like to hold her arm every time I go out. She always put up with it for a while and then dumped me-yes, she gave me the feeling of stiffly putting up with my intimacy, which made her feel uncomfortable about physical contact with her daughter.

She won't hug me, and my memory of kissing me is blank. I didn't realize I had skin hunger until I was an adult. Every time I go out with Miss Li, I have to hold him, pull him and pull him.

She will never praise me. When my article first appeared in the newspaper, she said she couldn't tell anyone.

I published my first book and told her cheerfully that she ruined all my happiness in one sentence:

Put on new clothes and show her how beautiful she is. She always tells the same story:

In front of her, all the joy is eclipsed, and there will be no hearty spiritual enjoyment.

Like Jiang Wen's mother, her mother is unhappy. None of our three brothers and sisters added a burden to our parents. We all work hard, stand on our own feet and make small achievements in society. We bought them a house, which cost them almost nothing, so we will buy it back automatically.

She is still unhappy. She always stares at things she doesn't have, such as my father's thoughtlessness, and finds some trivial disappointments to get angry.

I really want to please her and make her happier, but in the end, it's all my efforts.

Even though my mother has let me down countless times, I still believe that she loves me.

She doesn't praise me because she is afraid of my pride. She didn't come near me because she was not used to it. She loves me in her own way.

Just like Jiang Wen's mother, she loves him deeply.

Two years before his mother died, she suddenly asked to see him and gave him a big red envelope containing his mother's savings, which almost burst the envelope.

Jiang Wen didn't want to accept it at first. He thinks he has such a successful job and doesn't want to accept his mother's help. On the contrary, he was more willing to help his mother financially, but she gave it to him anyway.

It turned out that my mother was in poor health in those years and took the initiative to give money to her two sons. This is maternal love, which is revealed at unexpected times.

This is a common dilemma for our children in China. We know that we are loved, but we always can't handle the relationship with our parents well. We use all our wisdom and efforts to decipher our parents' love, and we use our whole life to prove that love exists.

Why are China's parents always unhappy? Why is it so hard to please?

Because China's mother lives too tired. They regard being a parent as a burden, and their parents are unhappy and miserable all day.

They will also pay a lot of love, but this love is particularly heavy, conditional and indelible. "We are all for you" or "You are dragging us down", and there are complaints everywhere.

China's parents like to worry. They should not only consider their children's present, but also their future. They are pessimistic, unconfident and always worried.

They think that destroying education, oppressing you, urging you and criticizing you will never give you a good face, and you will have the motivation to make progress, lest you relax and be gentle, and your children will become less motivated.

The problem of many parents in China is that they are too much like their parents. They want to be strong enough to show no flaws, so they live very hard and can't meet their children's spiritual needs for affirmation.

If a person doesn't get along well with his parents, it is easy to feel inferior in other interpersonal relationships. "My parents think I'm not good. How can I make others think I'm good?"

I was moved when Jiang Wen talked about his mother's loneliness. Such a successful man is still worried that he can't make his mother proud of himself and can't accept himself. In his heart, there lived a lonely little boy, which was probably the starting point of his involvement in literary and artistic creation, but it was also the lack of his life.

I especially understand Jiang Wen's mentality, but I have passed this stage, and I have got rid of the curse of "My mother is not proud of me".

I believe that even as parents and children, we all have our own destiny. My mother's life is an unhappy one. This unhappiness is a huge shadow cast by her childhood. She is powerless against her own destiny, and neither am I.

I don't have to take pleasing her as my only mission. The root of all my efforts is to bring me closer to my true self. Even if I am a child who is not praised by my mother, I will not lose my value.

We should all do this, go beyond the narrow resentment of meeting our parents and come to the final relief.

About the author: Sleeping late, writer, emotional counselor, middle-aged coders with slashes, like to interpret complex emotional puzzles and pay attention to women's independence and growth. He published "Sleeping in and Talking" to help you see married men clearly. You deserve better.

Every "good-looking" you ordered, I really took it as my favorite.