Cross talk stand-up cross talk fortune-telling line _ cross talk stand-up cross talk fortune-telling line

Who has long stand-up comedy lines that need to be used online and so on.

Yellow demigod

It's very hot in the dog days in June.

There is a Zhangjiawan in JD.COM.

The old couple are eating in the yard.

Here comes a fly, which is really annoying.

This fly took a grain of rice,

The old man angrily chased Sichuan.

My wife waited at home for three months,

The book didn't arrive, the letter didn't pass,

I hired a fortune teller to do the math,

Mr. Wang said, "If you break it according to divination, you will lose money and make you angry."

His divination is really clever. In fact, this six-year-old is smart not only for him, but also for me. What is the score? Let's go

An old lady divines.

"Sir, you give me a divination."

"What is it?"

"My old man has been gone for three months, and I haven't heard from him. Do you think it is dangerous? "

"Oh, what did he do?"

"Well, chasing flies!"

"Go after flies? ! What is it? "

"The fly took a grain of rice."

Of course, it is also a waste of money and anger to compensate for the tolls. Whether you can get it back or not will hurt your money and make you angry. This is nonsense. This is a divination.

No spirit. Sometimes Ling, who is ignorant, has a set of methods. When you stand there, as soon as he talks to you,

Make you believe it. How to convince him? Look at his methods. This hexagram pays attention to "Yao Chun". What do you mean by "Yao Chun"?

2

You're the one who's going to divination,

I won't give it to you yet,

I'll arrange you first,

In jargon, it is called "Yaochun".

Speaking of divination, it pays attention to "patting the spring".

"Cheat Chun", he didn't understand you, but he insisted on cheating you! Right? He also has an idea. Which sentence is wrong,

He can take it back. I thought you said you couldn't take it back. He can take it back. This is the so-called "breaking the chain". It used to be on the overpass.

If there is divination, say it as soon as it stops there; "This person when at home, this when outside, this business.

Oh, dear! This man, your Tang Yin is shining, and your wealth is thriving. You should have a fortune this May Festival. "

At the bottom are three words:

Right? But he didn't say this "right".

Why don't you say something? He's afraid he's finished,

People will say, "No.

Yes! Then what should I do? He said nothing but said slowly, "You should have a fortune this May Festival." He did not fall.

As he spoke, he observed and watched. If that person really has wealth, he can see it; if that person doesn't, he can see it.

Come out. what do you think? His method is called "there is a fixed eye, but there is no blink of an eye." If you are right, this person is of course stunned.

Elves; If you are wrong, you should roll your eyes (learn to roll your eyes). That's not true. He saw it!

"You should have a fortune on May Day this year." He looks at you and rolls his eyes to know it's wrong.

Hurry up and recycle. He has something to say:

"Oh, yes, you should have a fortune on May Day. However, let the villain rush you, but you haven't got it yet.

Right? "。

Hey, this is not nonsense!

"Dude, you don't look so good. You should be sued this August festival. "

There is also a "yes" under it, not to mention that he looks at that one and rolls his eyes at that one.

"Ah, you should file a lawsuit, but with the help of a noble person, it was shelved. Maybe you don't know it yet.

Right? "

Don't say he doesn't know, not even him! He'll say that. Therefore, divination is not true. Hey, stop it,

There is a spirit of divination. Wow, not only a spirit, but also a diviner. Spirit is spirit. This thing is ridiculous.

How does it work? Let me tell you something. Not now, during the Daoguang period of the Qing Dynasty, there was such a thing. Stay away from Beijing

Not far away, dozens of miles away, there is such a village. There lived a farmer in this village. This man is surnamed Huang and has a nickname.

Call it toad! The man said, "This is new. Does anyone have this nickname? Ah, because he looks very special, two

He has small round eyes, a turning nose, a big mouth and pockmarked face. He said black is not black, yellow is not yellow, and his face is so blue. therefore

This, this nickname is yellow toad! Don't look at this man's appearance. He is capable, eloquent and observant.

Color, read a book in a few days, don't worry, just flip through the almanac. If someone nearby marries a wife, hires a girl, or makes a fool of himself.

Earth, come to him. What are you doing? He would look at the imperial calendar and let him choose the date. He is also willing to mind his own business. If he says a few words,

Ah, some people really believe in him and regard him as a prostrate saint! Although he is so clever, his wife is a burden.

What happened to his wife? Gross. What's the matter? This disease is terrible, my legs are cold! My legs are cold. If I'm not sick, I can still talk.

Try to do some farming, once you get sick, you can't go to the ground. This disease still happens frequently. When will this cold leg disease break out? if

As soon as the weather changes, it is committed. My leg hurts in cloudy days and it hurts in rainy days. In order to catch the rainy day, when his wife was ill, he went to the field to finish his work.

I have to cook at home. Why? His wife can't go to the fields! After a long time, he was anxious and annoyed. So is he./ So does he.

Find such a trick,

Whenever his wife complains about leg pain,

Hey,

It will be cloudy tomorrow;

If it hurts badly,

namely

It's raining. He's ready. Once, his wife stayed up all night, and Lao Huang had to work in the fields the next day.

Go on, my god, it's sunny and daytime, but it's sultry and hot. Old Huang, just put on this hemp fiber! Take it with hemp fiber.

The hoe went out. His wife saw:

"Old huang, crazy! The weather is really nice. Why are you wearing linen clothes? Take it off! "

Lao Huang ignored her and went out. His wife looked at it: "Hey! What's going on here? Let you take it off!

three

He took a step forward, which means pulling Lao Huang. He just took such a step, "Ouch!" My leg hurts. "ah

"Hey, squatting there. Old huang turned to happy:

"Hey, why am I still wearing hemp fiber? Your leg hurts, doesn't it? You've been making trouble all night! Won't it rain today? I

What if there is no hemp fiber? "

His wife is also very happy.

They are very happy. Don't tell me,

As soon as Lao Huang went out,

People on the street,

They are all very happy.

Why?

"Ah,

Second brother,

What is this yellow toad doing? Begging for rain? Hey,

It's a nice day today,

Why are you wearing linen clothes? Take it off!

"

Old huang justly:

"Don't take it off, you'll need it later!"

"What are you doing? What's the use for a while? "

"What's the use? It's raining today! "

What he means is that his wife's leg hurts. Isn't it nonsense when everyone hears it is raining? There are no clouds in the sky. Where did it come from?

Rain? I didn't believe him, so I went to work in the fields. This work has been done for over an hour. Hey! Suddenly I looked up,

A dark cloud came to the south,

It came at me like the bottom of a black pot,

It will be laid in a short time,

A loud thunder,

noisy

It is raining cats and dogs. Everyone ran home, drenched like a chicken. Look at Lao Huang, wearing hemp fiber, shaking three times at a time and following.

It's okay. Like humans. Hey!

"Old Huang, you are really good!"

Old Huang loves to blow the atmosphere:

"Why have two down son? By the way, I don't even know it's raining on cloudy days, especially so! "

What does he mean? My wife's leg hurts. Can I not know? Everyone has a look, wow, Lao Huang is really capable! How many times have passed?

God, I got up early today. The weather is very cloudy, and it is very cloudy. Lao Huang just wants to work in the fields. First, he asked his wife:

"How's it going? Does your leg hurt?"

"It doesn't hurt."

"It doesn't hurt, ok!"

He came out with a hoe and took a look. Well, many people are covered with hemp fibers.

"Hey, Lao Huang, go home and get hemp fiber!"

"Take that? Strange and troublesome! "

"annoying? Don't take it for a while! "

"Get what rain? Don't worry, it won't rain today. "

Go to work in the fields.

Hearing this, everyone said:

No rain? It's so cloudy, it won't rain, will it I just hoed two fields in the field,

Watch it again. Oh, my God, hey, the clouds are clearing away and the sun is coming out. Old Huang, you are still cynical:

"Why, hemp fiber is white? I told you, don't listen, look, it didn't rain. "

"Old huang, hey, strange, that day we were caught in the rain, you slowly twist home in hemp fiber. Hmm? Today I

Children's hands are full of hemp fibers and leucorrhea. What do you mean? How do you know if it will rain? "

"ah"

How dare he say, "My wife's leg hurts, so I understand." . How do you say this? Let's ask again. He's excited.

Son:

"Oh, I, I figured it out in Zhuge Liang's pre-God class."

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1234567890 abcdefghijklmnabcdefghijklmn！ @#$%^&； & amp* () _+. 13579 246. Jade case: the east wind blooms at night, and thousands of trees fall like rain. BMW carved cars, full of incense. The jade pot lamp turns all night. Fish dragon dance, moth dance, snow willow, golden ray smile, Dimfragrance went to the crowd to find him. Looking back, the man was in the dim light.

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