What's your coup in the face of urging marriage?

The first trick: "behind the ear" defense

"I want to get married!"

"Emmm…… ...... who is triffin?"

Defense mechanism is a psychological term of psychoanalysis, which refers to an adaptive tendency of people to relieve anxiety when facing difficult situations.

With the development of psychology today, the defense mechanism is also advancing with the times.

In the process of fighting with parents and relatives, it is the basic trick to pretend to be deaf behind your ears.

Its principle is to kill the patience of elders, change the topic, and nip the topic of urging marriage in the bud.

In the face of all kinds of soul torture from relatives and friends, we should adhere to the purpose of "being smart and earnest" and implement the core spirit of "selective attention, intermittent deafness and persistent deafness" 17 to create a harmonious, warm and pleasant atmosphere for the Spring Festival.

People, hearing loss still needs to be selective to live happily.

The second measure: attention transfer method

"Aunt, sit down quickly. Did your child have a second child? "

If you want to use this trick well, you need agile reaction ability and active execution.

People's attention resources are limited. If you can take the lead and urge the other party to turn their attention to their own home, the chances of urging marriage will be much smaller.

"Aunt, sit down quickly. Is your child married? "

"Uncle, have a drink. Where does your child work? "

"Aunt, where did your child buy the house? How much is a square meter? "

Always pay attention to throwing sensitive topics such as square dance, pension, marriage, work, mortgage, and second child to each other in order to take the initiative in the anti-marriage struggle.

Let Uncle menstruation show off, or spit out a few words to enhance interaction, instead of being urged.

Even, some distressed aunts will talk about the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, telling you that modern marriage is not easy, and naturally they are even more embarrassed to urge marriage.

The third measure: the method of reasonable love

"I know you are in a hurry, I know everything!" (tearful)

Once upon a time, I had a friend who tried to reason with his parents when they urged them to get married.

Now, he has enteritis because his whole intestine is green.

This story tells us that when discussing the issue of urging marriage with parents, we must maintain a strong desire for survival: avoid being reasonable, try to persuade, avoid death, and be affectionate.

Key points: * * Emotion ≠ Reasoning.

* * * Emotion is putting yourself in others' shoes.

"Mom, I know you're in a hurry, but it's really hard to find an ugly one."

"I'm as anxious as you are, but it's no use worrying without a car or a room ..."

"I understand how you feel ..."

"I know how you feel ..."

Appropriate kinship can not only reduce the number of times parents urge marriage, but also promote family care and harmony. For example, my parents will close their eyes and comfort me that I am not ugly. ...

The fourth measure: meet the needs of gossip

"Yes, aunt, my salary is low, no object. It's useless! "

Maslow pays attention to people's needs.