Humorous and naughty little copywriting

1. Some people are just not satisfied. They already have double chins and want double eyelids.

I am so beautiful, I owe it entirely to my parents, who gave me this nonsense mouth.

Every day when the alarm clock rings, there are 500 reasons for asking for leave in my mind, but none of them are reliable.

Although my money was not blown away by the strong wind, it seems to have been blown away by the strong wind.

5. selfies are ok, but not too much. Otherwise, others will not only think you are ugly, but also think you are hypocritical when they see real people!

I hurt my wrist. The doctor just put a thick bandage on it. My wife looked at the doctor nervously: "doctor, this, this doesn't affect his washing dishes, does it?"

7. Don't ask too much of your daughter-in-law. It's beautiful and can cook. This is a beautiful rice cooker!

Eight. In fact, Tang Priest is also very sexy. He was called a benefactor when he met someone who looked very poor. When you meet a good-looking person, you are called a bodhisattva.

9. I have a buddy who said to his daughter-in-law, "Daughter-in-law, I have a fortune teller. The fortune teller said that I 135 years old has a hurdle! " His daughter-in-law said coldly, "Why, the graves are all planed?"

You say you are my friend, but in fact I know that animals are indeed friends of human beings.

1 1. To be fair, the party who breaks up first has to pay the other party for three months' drinks.

12. Don't always deny yourself. You are excellent, powerful and capable, especially in single, fat, hair loss and spending money.

Thirteen. You're not fat, you're just a harbor for making doughnuts in a cup of tea and barbecue ice cream in a hot pot.

14. Ugly people have priority to speak, because we often hear people say, "My ugly words come first!"

15. Girlfriends should look for those who don't wear makeup. Draw once in a while, be heartbroken, and often make up. Once they remove their makeup, they are prone to sudden death on the spot.

16. Life will make you miserable for a while, and after you get used to it, it will make you miserable for a lifetime.

I have a strong mother. I remember when I was a child, my mother took me to ride a bike, and my foot got stuck in the wheel. My mother felt unable to pedal, so she stood up and pedal.

Eighteen. When I was a child, I went to the zoo to see tigers. When I grew up, I vowed to keep one. After 20 years, my dream has finally come true. Anyway, it's time to cook for my wife.

19. I feel that I will fall in love soon. I don't know who I'm with. I will be happy for him first.

When one or two people say you are fat, you don't think so, but when more and more people say you are fat, you will know the seriousness of the matter, and there are more and more liars.

One day my father was watching TV and I was playing with my mobile phone. My dad suddenly exclaimed, "Look! You are on TV! " I looked back and saw a pig on the agricultural channel.

22. If someone asks me, how did I get through those difficult years? I only have one answer: there is a powerful spiritual force supporting me, called "I want to die but dare not."

Twenty-three I heard that women like to hear men say "brush casually", so after dinner, I also said to her, "Come on, brush casually!" My wife threw a rag in my face.

24. Today, my relatives came to me for a micro-signal, saying that they would introduce me to a boyfriend. Mom said, yes, but I'll give it to you tomorrow. When my relatives left, my mother asked me to buy you an Apple phone. I was shocked, how could a stingy mother be so generous, and then my mother said: It is said that Apple mobile phone has the best beauty effect.