Extracts from Bing Xin's original works.

Note: The following content is taken from Fen and Girl in Selected Works of Bing Xin. A child prodigy broke me out of the dense net of sadness and pain, and I cried for the first time.

When I opened my eyes, my leg was still upside down in the palm of a child prodigy. I saw my two little red hands dancing in the air above my head.

The palm of another child prodigy gently holds my waist. He smiled and turned to a woman lying on her back in a white sleeping car and said, "What a fat child!" " Gently put me in a small basket covered with white cloth.

I struggled to look out: I saw many nurses in white clothes and white hats surrounded the woman noisily and silently. Her face was pale and full of sweat. She groaned as if she had just woken up from a nightmare. Eyelids are red and swollen, eyes are half open. Hearing the doctor's words, her eyes rolled and tears welled up. Put down a hundred hearts, close your eyes and say with a tired smile, "It's really hard for you!" " "

I was in tears: "Mom, we have worked hard. We all struggled out of death just now! " "

It's so noisy, the nurse in white silently pushed her mother's bed cart out. I was also lifted up and out of the door. When the doctor waved, a man came across the aisle. He just woke up from a nightmare with a happy face. He looked at me with pity and surprise, as if to hug me with his hands. The doctor smiled: "Is the child all right?" Embarrassed, he murmured, "This child has a long head." At this time, I suddenly felt a terrible headache and began to cry again: "Dad, you don't know, my skull really hurts."

The doctor smiled: "Great, such a loud voice!" " "A nurse stood by and took me with a smile.

Walk into a big room full of sunshine. Under the surrounding walls, there are many small white basket beds in which children lie. Some put their hands on their heads and sleep peacefully; Some cried and said, "I'm thirsty!" "I am hungry!" "I'm too hot!" "I am wet!" The nurse holding me, as if she had never heard me, just floated to their bedside, walked peacefully, went into the inner bathroom, put my head towards the water pipe and laid it flat on the stone table next to the basin.

Warm water from the nozzle sprayed on my head, and all the sticky blood rushed down. I shivered, and my mind suddenly cleared up. Looking up, across the washbasin and the stone table, there is still a child and another nurse, who is also washing for him. He has a round head, big eyes, dark skin and a strong chest. He was awake, silently looking at the sky outside the window. By this time, I had been lifted up, and the nurse gently held my shoulder and dressed me in a long white dress. The children were dressed, too, and we faced each other across the basin. The nurse who gave me a bath smiled and said to her companion, "Your child is really strong and big, but not as white and delicate as mine!" " "At this time, the children looked up and stared at me, laughing as if very light and pitiful.

I said shyly and gently, "OK, little friend." He also said humbly, "Hello, children." By this time, we had been placed side by side in two small baskets, and the nurses had left.

I said, "I ache all over. The last four hours of struggle were really hard. What about you? "

He smiled and held a small fist: "I didn't, I was just bored for half an hour." I didn't suffer, and neither did my mother. "

I sighed silently, bored and looked around. He comforted me and said, "You are tired. Go to sleep. I want to rest for a while. "

I was awakened from a deep sleep and brought directly to the big glass door. There are several young men and women standing in the corridor outside the door, their noses and hands pressed against the glass on the door, just like a group of children standing outside the window displaying Christmas presents, with greedy and envious faces. They smiled and pointed at each other, saying that my eyebrows are like my aunt, my eyes are like my uncle, my nose is like my uncle, and my mouth is like my aunt, as if I were going to be torn up and swallowed.

I closed my eyes and tried to shake my head, only to find that my neck was hurting. I cried and said, "I am just myself." I'm not like anyone. Let me have a rest! "

The nurse smiled, hugged me and turned back. I also saw them turn around and push each other out with a smile.

The children also woke up, greeted me and said, "You're up. Who's coming to see you?" I put it down and said, "I don't know, maybe my uncles and aunts, and many young people." They all seem to love me very much. "

Without saying anything, the children smiled again: "You are so lucky. This is the day after we arrived here. I haven't even met my father. "

I don't know. I was in a daze and slept for a long time At this time, I feel all right, but my ass is wet. I also learned to cry intermittently and say, "I'm wet!" " I'm wet! "Sure enough, a nurse will pick me up soon. I am so happy that I don't want her to give me water first.

At about dusk, three or four nurses came in noisily, and the stiff white skirt was ringing. They picked us up and changed diapers one by one. The children were very happy and said, "We are all going to see our mother. Goodbye. "

The children were pushed out in the big bed car with everyone. I was carried out. After passing the glass door, he walked into the first room on the right side of the aisle. My mother lay on a high white bed and welcomed me with eager eyes. The nurse put me on her arm, and she was embarrassed to untie it. She looks very young, with black hair leaning back and eyebrows curved like a crescent moon. A pale and bloodless face with big black eyes looks like a stone statue in the dim light shadow beside the bed!

I opened my mouth and sucked my milk. Mother leaned her cheek against my hair, rubbed my fingers and looked at me seriously, as if there were infinite comfort and surprise. ——

Twenty minutes have passed and I haven't eaten yet. I was hungry and my tongue hurt, so I opened my mouth and let my nipples fall off. I cried very much. My mother was frightened and kept shaking me and saying, "Baby, don't cry, don't cry!" " "When ringing the doorbell, a nurse came in. Mother smiled and said, "Nothing else. I have no milk. What if the child keeps crying? " The nurse also smiled and said, "It doesn't matter. Sooner or later, the child is still young, he doesn't care. " While coming to hug me, my mother let go of her hand.

When I got back to bed, the child was already in his bed. He slept soundly, smiling all the time in his dream, and seemed very satisfied and happy. I looked around. Many children fell asleep happily. Some of them are half awake, singing and crying. I'm so hungry that I care that my mother's milk won't come until I know when, but no one knows. Seeing that everyone was completely asleep, I was jealous and ashamed, so I cried loudly, hoping to attract people's attention. I cried for more than half a minute before the nurse came. Innocent pouting and patting me and saying, "Really! Your mother won't give you enough to eat and drink some water! " She put the nipple of the water bottle in my mouth, and I sobbed and fell asleep slowly.

When I took a bath the next day, my child and I were lying on both sides of the basin talking. He is full of energy. After washing, he shook his head, half closed his eyes and said with a smile, "I drank a lot of milk yesterday!" " My mother's dark round face is very beautiful. I am her fifth child. She told the nurse that this was her first time to go to the hospital to give birth to a baby, which was introduced by Salesian Society. My father is a poor butcher who killed pigs. "-at this moment, a drop of boric acid water suddenly splashed on his eyes. He shouted a few times in boredom, struggled to open his eyes again and said, "Kill the pig! How happy, white knife in, red knife out! When I grow up, I want to kill pigs like my father-not only pigs, but also those who eat like pigs! "

I listened quietly. When I got here, I quickly closed my eyes and said nothing.

The child asked, "What about you? Are you full? How is your mother? "

I am also very excited: "I didn't eat anything. My mother's milk hasn't come down yet The nurse said she would come in a day or two. " My mother is so nice. She can read. There are many books on the bedside table, and the room is full of flowers. "

"Where's your father?"

"Father didn't come, she is the only one in the room. She didn't talk to anyone either. I know nothing about my father. "

"That's first class," the child said firmly. "Is it a person's room?

My mother's place is lively, with more than a dozen beds. Many children's mothers are here, and the children are full. "

Come to see my father tomorrow. When I was nursing, he leaned on his mother's pillow. Their faces are next to each other, staring at me. Father has a clear face. The skin is yellowish. Long eyelashes and beautiful eyes. It seems that I am always thinking, and there are often slight wrinkles on my forehead.

The father said, "Look carefully this time, this child is very beautiful, just like you!" " "

Mother smiled and gently rubbed my face: "Like you, you have such big eyes."

Father stood up, sat in the chair beside the bed, took his mother's hand and patted him: "Now, we are not lonely. When I come back from class, I will help you take care of him and play with him. " Take him to travel on holidays. The child must pay attention to his health, unlike me. I'm not sick, but I'm not strong ... "

Mother nodded and said, "Yes-he should also learn music and painting early. I can't do this myself, and I always feel that life is incomplete! " And ... "

Father smiled: "What kind of' home' do you want him to be in the future? A writer? Musician? "

Mother said, "Everything is fine-he is a boy. China needs science, and scientists are probably the best. "

At this time, I can't suck milk, so I feel sad and want to cry. But after listening to them talk with such relish, I won't say anything.

Father said, "We should save money for his education. The sooner the money is prepared, the better. "

Mom said, "I forgot to tell you, my brother said yesterday that he would buy a small bike for his child when he was six years old!" " "

The father smiled and said, "This child has everything. Didn't his sister shake his prison to him? "

My mother hugged me tightly and kissed my hair and said, "It's very kind of you, little baby, so many people love you!" " When you grow up, be a good boy ... "

I went back to bed full of joy, not hungry at all. I looked up at the child, but he was thinking.

I greeted him with a smile and said, "Little friend, I saw my father." He is also excellent. He is a teacher. He and his mother are discussing my future education. My father said that he would try to do anything good for me. Mom said it doesn't matter if I don't have milk. Eat milk powder when I go home, and then drink orange juice to eat ... "I went on at one breath.

The child smiled, like pity and disdain: "You are so happy. I haven't been breastfed since I got home. Today, my father came to tell my mother that someone asked her to be a wet nurse. We have to leave in a day or two! I went back to follow my grandmother in her sixties. I eat rice soup and dry cake ... but I don't care! "

I was silent, and all the happiness disappeared. I feel ashamed.

In children's eyes, there is a proud and brave light: "You will always be a small flower in a greenhouse, which will be delicate and open at a uniform temperature. I am the grass on the roadside. I will endure people's trampling and storms. If you look out through the glass window, you will have pity on me. However, above my head, there is an infinitely vast sky; There is endless air around me. There are free butterflies and crickets singing and flying beside me. My brave and humble companion can't be burned and cut. At people's feet, green is dotted all over the world! "

I'm embarrassed to cry. "I don't want to be so delicate myself!" ..... "I said.

The children seemed to wake up with a start and then relax. Wen An comforted me and said, "Yes, none of us wants to be different from others, but all kinds of things separate us."

The snow outside the window can't stop raining, pulling cotton to rub the floc, and several snow ditches are evenly piled on the blue tiles. My mother and I are going home for the Spring Festival. Because his mother had to go to work, the child went back years ago. We only have half a day to get together, and we will disappear in a chaotic city noise. When can we sleep under the same roof again?

We looked at each other affectionately. In the twilight, the children's faces gradually enlarged in my weak eyes. Closed lips, locked eyebrows, deep eyes and slightly protruding chin show determination and courage everywhere. "He kills pigs-kills people?" I think my little hand is stretched out under the bed, feeling my smallness!

We came back from my mother, reported each other's arrival, and will all go back tomorrow-1 month1day! Dad is afraid that there will be too many things on New Year's Eve, and mom will not rest when she goes back. The father of the child went out to hide his debts on New Year's Eve, fearing that his mother would be surrounded by creditors when she went back, and refused to let her leave the hospital. We lost an extra day!

Since midnight, I have been hearing firecrackers from far and near. In the continuous snow, several cold dogs seem to tell us that life is a period of gratitude and resentment, and now it has come to a small end. Before putting on the mask of humility and joy again tomorrow, we should try our best to swallow this night, complaining and crying. There are thousands of terrible emotions lurking in thousands of firecrackers and dark streets. ...

I suddenly looked back at my child. He bit his lower lip and said nothing. -that night, the water was slow and the trickle passed. It was dawn, and in the twilight, I heard the children sighing on his bed.

It's dawn Two nurses came in with New Year's smiles on their faces and gave us a bath. A nurse opened my suitcase and dressed me in a small white velvet tights, a long white velvet vest and pajamas. Outside, I put on a jacket, hat and socks the same color as pea green wool. After dressing up, she hugged me and smiled and said, "You are so beautiful! See how your mother dresses you! " "I feel soft and comfortable, but very hot, because I want to cry because of my temper.

The children were also held back. I was shocked, I hardly knew him! He is wearing a thick blue cotton-padded jacket with big and long sleeves and stitches on them. There is also an apron with faded blue cloth under it. His arms stretched out straight, and his head was buried in a big hood of green cotton, bloated like a kite! I looked down at two sets of the same white clothes that were piled on the ground and taken off from us, and suddenly I shivered. Since then, we have been separated, and our spiritual and material things have been separated forever!

The children also saw me and smiled proudly and shamefully and said, "You are so beautiful, this beautiful and gentle skirt!" " My body is my armor. I'm going to the battlefield of society to compete with others for food! "

The nurses quickly picked up the white clothes on the ground and threw them into the basket. Hurriedly carried us out. I couldn't help crying when I walked to the glass door. The children couldn't help crying, and we began to say, "children!" " Goodbye! Goodbye! "Along the way, our cries disappeared at both ends of the aisle.

Mother stood at the door in full dress. Father stood beside her with a small box in his hand. Seeing me coming, my mother quickly reached out and grabbed me, looked at my face carefully, wiped away my tears, snuggled up to me and said, "Baby, don't cry! We are home, a happy home, mom loves you, and dad loves you! "

A wheelbarrow came, and my mother put a green bean carpet on it and sat on it with me. Father followed. I thanked the doctors and nurses who sent me, said goodbye and got off the elevator together.

Through two semi-glass doors, I saw a car parked at the door. My father stepped forward to open the door, and a snowflake blew in. My mother quickly covered my face. It seems that we got off the unicycle again, got out of the door and got off the car, and the door slammed. Mother lifted the blanket from my face and I saw a car full of flowers. I am in my mother's arms, and my parents' faces are facing me.

At this time, the car has slowly turned out of the gate. Many foreign cars are crowded outside the door. When they gave way one by one, I suddenly looked up and saw my child who had been dating day and night for more than ten days! He is in his father's arms. His mother carries a green cloth on her back. Two people stood sideways at the door with their backs to us. His father is wearing a wide-brimmed green felt hat and a big blue cotton robe. Just under this wide brim, the child was lying on his shoulders, facing me, and the snow fell on his eyebrows and cheeks. He closed his eyes with a sad smile on his face ... he has begun to enjoy the struggle! ……

The car drove out the door and kept flying. Snowflakes are flying on the road. I can vaguely hear the sound of gongs and drums in the New Year. My mother is right in my ear, snuggling up and saying, "Baby, look at this flat and white world!" " "

I cried.

193 1 August 5, 2008, Haidian. "Yes, thank you, I like it, you like it, everyone is happy! Madam, you look much better than when I was with you in Beihai for illness, and your face is obviously full! How time flies! Another year in a blink of an eye. Mention our Dong Er, but serious advocate, our son-in-law works as a waiter in Tsinghua campus, and will get married this year. My son-in-law is young and there is no one at home. But when you say "happy", I'm not enjoying it for myself. I was relieved to see her go home. I suffered for fifteen years.

"It's really like a story. Do you know the anniversary report funeral? What year is it? Her father in Dong Er was watching the excitement in Haidian Street, and she lost time in such a short time. We had a quarrel that day, but I thought he was angry and went to town instead of looking for him. It took a day, two days and three days before I panicked until I didn't come. Asking prices everywhere, asking everywhere, without any warning. I also prayed to God and asked for help. Later, a fortune teller figured out that he had gone to the southwest, and a woman tripped him up and might come back after the New Year. I put some snacks, I think, he is not a child, but also a local, how can he say that he is lost? I didn't expect it to be fifteen years now!

"At that time, our Dong Er was only four years old. She was born in early winter, and we are such children. Her father used to be an official of the Ministry of Internal Affairs. He can do all kinds of chores, paste a shed and have a bowl of rice to eat. We haven't lost our children since the Qing Dynasty disappeared. We have been married for more than ten years, and we have never blushed. By then, they were really poor, so they were eager to complain to each other. Who knew this would drive him away?

"I cried with Dong Er in my arms for three nights. My brother came and said,' Come back with me, and I will feed you. "Madam, you know, my brother's children, plus me, and Dong Er, can my sister-in-law still like it?

I said, "No, maybe when your brother-in-law will come back, and Dong Er is not young. I will consider it myself. " I sent him back. Guess what, you know those big pillars and white marble on the steps of Yuanmingyuan. At that time, the rice shop hired people to mash them and mix them in rice to increase weight and sell more money. I used to sit in the wilderness and throw stones every day. I shed tears while throwing stones. When the winter wind blows, tears freeze on my face. After returning home, Dong Er climbed onto the kang to play. Sometimes he fell off the kang and lay on the ground crying. When she saw me, she cried and I cried. I didn't eat with tears!

"Didn't it snow at the beginning of frost in Beihai last year? Our Dong Er sent me a cotton-padded jacket, madam, do you remember? Stupid and thick, with a little hanging eyes?

The child is seriously injured. He has been a big boy since he was a child, and he hasn't changed since he got older. When I was four or five years old, I robbed money, pawned and played with people all over the street. If you lose, you will hit people and curse them. All the children in the street are afraid of her! But one thing, although it looks good, she is reasonable. Another point is filial piety. She listens to everything I say. As for me, she is the only one, and I can't talk about her easily.

"She often says," Mom, my father left us both. Do you still miss him? Lean on me. I sell chicken, persimmon and radish to support you. Wouldn't it be better if we were together? "What did you do with tears in your eyes all day?" Really, she can sell chickens from the age of eight or nine, go to Qinghe to sell chickens, go back and forth seventeen miles, pick a small burden, and run faster than adults. She didn't bargain, paid as much as she said, and when people bargained with her, she left without looking back. But the price is also reasonable. Who hasn't bought it for her in Haidian Street? One more thing, if she buys someone else's, she will not abide by it and scold it.

"When she doesn't sell chickens, she sells persimmons and peanuts. It's a little ridiculous to say. You know Xiyuan is a soldier. These peddlers are afraid of soldiers. If they can't sell the money, it doesn't count. They are often beaten and scolded. She was not afraid of soldiers, so she picked persimmons all morning, went to Xiyuan, sat on the edge of the playground and sold them to soldiers.

Never let those soldiers owe a lot of money. The soldier is fierce, she is more fierce, and the fierce people laugh, but they all let her. When she sells enough, she will leave, even if people want to buy her. Didn't soldiers come after you that time? I wash clothes in the yard. When she entered the door with her front foot, two soldiers chased her back foot, which frightened us. Everyone who lives in our yard ran indoors. The soldiers kept laughing and shouted, "Miss Dong Er, Miss Dong Er, sell us two more persimmons." She turned her head and put the pick aside, put her hands on her waist and said, "I won't sell it to you, but I will buy it when I buy something." Who laughs with you? " Get out of here before it's too late "I'm trembling with fear! Who knows that the two soldiers left with a smile. Look at this kid's guts!

"She was twelve or thirteen years old that year, Zhang Zongchang was defeated, and his soldiers were stationed in Haidian area. Soldiers in Zhang Zongchang are poor, like beggars, without socks and shoes. As soon as they have a family, they break down the door and go through everything, even if they live there. All those who had some money in Haidian ran away, and all the girls and wives were empty. I was poor and old, so I didn't leave. My brother said, "Dong Er might as well hide in the city." Guess what she said. She said, "Don't be afraid, uncle. My mother is not leaving, and neither am I. They can't eat me, so I must eat them! " "She is not still eating soldiers? She sang behind them and knew them well. She doesn't eat steamed bread in their big steamer every day?

"Once she was in trouble-she was sixteen years old that year-and several soldiers pulled forage from Xizhimen to Xiyuan. She asked someone to unload the grass from our backyard, and she promised to invite people to drink at night. I don't know. She dodged that afternoon. Those soldiers came at night and scared me to death! Knowing that Dong Er had slipped away, they hated it and looked for her in Haidian Street for three days with a whip. Later, thanks to the departure of the battalion, nothing happened.

"Dong Er hiding in her aunt, my sister's house. My sister lives in Lan Qi. She has a vegetable garden, some pigs and a small grocery store. When Dong Er came back, I said, "Girl, you are not young. You've been dealing with soldiers all day Not only am I scared, but others look different, don't you think? You'd better stay at your aunt's house first, help her and learn some rough work, which will be useful in the future. " She didn't make things difficult, but left with a smile.

Later, my sister came and said, "Dong Er is really capable and powerful. Watering vegetables, feeding pigs, picking up goods from Xizhimen every morning, and still having time to cook when I come back. Do things quickly and well, but one thing, you are too angry! Say a word to her and she will go home. "Really, she lived in her aunt's house for half a year and came back several times. I advised her to leave every time, but she was not at home. I sometimes miss her.

At that time, some old corn planted in our backyard was just ripe, and people pulled it out, and I didn't pursue it. When Dong Er came back and found out, he refused to say, "If I'm not at home, you will bully my mother! Whoever picks my old corn will be fine if he comes out to recognize it, otherwise he will have sores in his mouth! " She sat on the threshold and kept cursing all afternoon. Finally, an old neighbor woman came out and confessed with a smile: "Stop swearing, girl, I pulled it out, just for fun." At this moment, Dong Er also smiled and said, "Tell my mother that you have eaten. Can you not eat? " ? "It's not good for our children to look after you like this, because smart people don't do things secretly!" At some point, she stood up and ran to her aunt's house.

"My sister has no children. My brother-in-law can play with money and can't do anything. When Dong Er came to their home, he also learned to play cards. He works during the day and plays cards at night. He also won or lost a dollar or two. She promised to win at cards, not lose, and scold if she lost. But she played well and lost less, otherwise my relatives were scolded by her!

"After living in my sister's house for two years, I called her back, that is, last year, I went to Beihai with you and asked her to come back to look after the house. I'm not at home and she doesn't work. She cooks by herself all day, locks the door and goes out to play cards. I'm not happy to hear that. As soon as you came back from Beihai, I hurried home. I talked about her several times, which aroused my appetite and made me lie down. My sister came and invited me to see it once. She said it was because I made a wish to her father in Dong Er that year. If I didn't return it, the fairy would punish me for my illness. Dong Er was listening without saying a word. Who knows, she followed the sound of her head with her hind foot and smashed all the immortal tablets in other people's homes, cursing and saying, "What do you want? "My father came back? Just hope! I smashed his card, and I dare to punish me for being sick before I take him! " Everyone persuaded her, and she scolded her back. My sister and I found out, and we were so angry and afraid that we didn't dare to see Xiangtou. Who knows, then I got better, and she was fine.

A little "ghosts and gods are afraid of the wicked."

My brother came and said, "Dong Er is not young. Please find her a husband's family quickly." Bad news has wings. "Her fierce name is too far away, and no one dares to take it in the future!" In fact, I have been paying attention to it for a long time, but it is always too high to be lower. I dare not agree with my in-laws. There will always be trouble in the future. How can people let her do everything like me? At that time, someone mentioned the kiss, and there were no adults or children at home, but the time was wrong, saying it was a crime. I went to get married that day and she knew that when I came back, she was sitting at home waiting for me. She saw me and asked, "Are you married?" "I said," if we are together, everything will be fine. Hard is the other end, called mother-in-law. " She said, "That's impossible!" As he spoke, he picked up the money and went out to play cards. I am angry and distressed. Nowadays, girls have big faces and are not ashamed to speak! It finally stopped this time, and I fell to the ground with a stone! "

"Thank you, you gave this a lot of money, I will thank you for Dong Er! I'll bring them to kowtow when I'm done. Take good care of yourself, just don't work too hard. It's not funny to repeat! I'm leaving, goodbye. "

On the night of 1933 1 1 28th.