Funny sketch

Cao: I want to hear the number of treasures. I want to find a smart, short and very beautiful one.

Guo: Beautiful things.

Cao: Hey.

Guo: Not too high.

Cao: Hey, right, right, right, right

Guo; Even more beautiful.

Cao: You have to be smart.

Guo: You have to be smart. There is only one person left. Wait a minute. Very beautiful, very smart, very beautiful. Do you know the most important thing?

Cao: It's mainly the spirit.

Guo: Hey, come here, come here quickly. (Shangliu) Hey, come here, come here. Although he has no sesame seeds, his intelligence is the same.

Liu: I'm flattered.

Guo: This is the most beautiful.

(Liu's microphone)

Guo: (grabs the receiver) Don't do it until I'm finished! ! Can you reach me like that!

(Cao Jiang gives the microphone to Guo)

Guo: Hehehe, ok. This is the most beautiful, this is the most beautiful.

Cao: This is still very beautiful.

Guo: He is also the shortest.

Cao: Which one do you think is fatter here?

Guo: He is short, and he is smart. He is too clever.

Cao: He can sing.

Guo: No problem, no problem. You talk to him, you talk to him. Come on, take a test. It's cute. (Xia Guo)

Cao: Can you sing?

Liu; I can sing.

Cao: Sing a few words.

Liu: Sing for a while. how much is it?

Cao: Are you the only one who needs money?

Liu: Nonsense.

Cao: It's good to grow up like this without a fine.

Liu: How can I pay for the meal if you don't give me money?

Cao; All right, all right. This life?

Liu: It's so fresh. How much fine do I have to pay every day?

Cao: Give the money.

Liu: How much is it?

Cao: Send a big flower basket.

Liu; Flower basket? No, it's not. Give this thing to the flower basket, the front desk, there, and give it to an old man, you know? He carried a part on his back. He's going backstage (I didn't hear four words clearly), which is no good. Finally, he invited them to dinner.

Cao: Just give it directly to the front, okay? You sing a song of 100 yuan.

Liu: One hundred yuan. This is enough for me to pay a fine for one year. Okay, okay, okay.

Cao: Come on, sing a song.

Liu: Sing a song for you.

(Liu Naban)

Cao; I like this counting treasure.

Liu: Listen.

Cao: Hey, we had a deal.

Liu: Say

Cao: I won't give you money if I can sing this passage.

Liu: This is nothing new.

Cao: Just spend some money. I don't have this bug.

Liu: Hehe, you are still so thin and have no bugs. It's okay, I promise you won't.

Cao: (I didn't hear you clearly)

Liu: Listen! (playing the board)

Cao: Sing!

Liu: Didn't you hear? All right, listen. (Playing the baner) On February 2nd and March 3rd, Wang Chan's bodhi old zu went down the mountain. Wang Chan's bodhi old zu really got a share, and took a piece of land and called it Sun Bin (taking it away, Liu continued to sing). He went down the mountain early and took some treasures with him.

Cao: Stop singing. Come on! Shoe store On February 2nd and March 3rd, Wang Chan's ancestors went down the mountain, and Wang Chan's ancestors really got a share. He took a piece of land called Sun Bin Shoe Store. I will!

Liu: Yes, it will. Can't I sing it for you?

Cao: Hey. I won't sing if you sing one.

Liu: Listen.

Cao: I can't sing any.

Liu: Listen, you can't (hit the board). Tong Ren Tang, an old drugstore run by Tong Ren Tang, is just like this gentleman (Liu hits the table with a fan).

Cao: Tong Ren Tang!

Liu: I will worship the medicine king first, and then I will worship you. You are the great apprentice of the drug king. Hey, you can't play this role.

Cao: Huahua (beggar) sang it. Tong Ren Tang, didn't you just learn from me yesterday? I won't?

Liu: Well, I've heard you sing.

Cao: I won't change it.

Liu: You won't change it.

Cao: What Tong Ren Tang, a beggar?

Liu: What do you mean by begging? Do you know what begging is? Have you ever seen a beggar? Beggar?

Cao: I don't sing a song.

Liu: Listen!

Cao; What kind of nonsense?

Liu: (playing board) Playing bamboo board, when you come to the street, you can borrow one lane and two lanes, so that you can do business. You can buy, you can sell, you can own. ...

Cao: Come on. Not as good as those two just now. They are beggars to the core. They all came into the street. The business of one street and two lanes is quite good. They are beggars to the core. I can

Liu: (putting down the chessboard) I won't, okay? Beautiful, isn't it?

Cao; Then I will change, I will change,

Liu; What kind of person? Pay for it.

Cao: Why should I give you money?

Liu: If I sing, I have to pay.

Cao: I have to pay for your singing?

Liu: That's right. Later, someone told me that as long as I sang in front, I would pay.

Cao: I thought you were farting. What, do I have to pay? Why give you money?

Liu: How well do I sing?

Cao: I know all three paragraphs. Can I give you money?

Liu: Did I let you know? (I didn't catch the sentence 1)

Cao: How are you?

Liu: How are you? What are you doing? If you are asked to pay, pay. (pointing to Cao)

Cao: Get your hands off me.

Liu: Don't give me money ... I mean, are you fresh? (Pointing at Cao's forehead)

(They quarreled, and Liu kept pointing his finger at Cao's forehead. Cao also wanted to point at Liu, but his arm was not long enough, and the latter two people calmed down. )

Liu: (Fan Cao) Don't fire, don't fire, (Cao took the firewood and struck the table)

Cao: Wait for me, boy. We'll talk about it later.

Liu: (lifting the wood) Don't be afraid, I won't shoot! Don't be angry, sir. Why are you angry? Blame me me. I don't want this money Put it in my pocket. I can't take your money.

Cao: That's more like it.

Liu: Down-to-earth.

Cao: Your attitude is not bad.

Liu: Let's wait until next April. When you find a fine day and there are many people, you can go to this iron shop and make a big hoop.

Cao: Big iron ring.

Liu: It's so big,

Cao: Why?

Liu: When you drive Tomb-Sweeping Day to the grave, cover the ancestral grave to avoid being scolded!

Cao covers his chest and reaches for his pocket. Liu gives him a fan. )

Liu: You didn't bring any quick-acting medicine, did you?

Cao: OK, OK, I can't believe nobody cares about you.

Liu: Who cares about me?

Cao: I will call the police later.

Liu: He is my father.

Cao: Ouch, ouch. All right! Theater manager.

Liu: This is my Platini.

Cao: Hey hey, nobody cares about you backstage?

Liu; Who cares about me backstage?

Cao; Backstage manager

Liu: What's wrong with calling it out?

Cao: Go, go.

Liu: I can sit on your ass if I ask.

Cao: Go, go, go, don't talk nonsense.

Liu: Come out.

(Li Wenshan)

Liu: Sit him to death. Let me tell you something. The child is here to make trouble. He's going to smash this place and stop us from doing this.

Li: Who dares to make trouble?

Liu: He's making trouble.

Li: What do you mean?

Liu: Ask him if you don't believe me.

Li; I will ask him. (turning to Cao) Hey, what are you doing here? What do you mean?

Cao: Ah, no, it isn't.

Li: What?

Cao: (I couldn't hear clearly in front) Then I came up and said I wanted to hear the number of treasures.

Li: What happened later?

You just, just that, there's a guy here, saying that.

Li: Never mind which one it is.

Cao: He said I invited him. I asked him to sing some treasures and asked me for money. I gave him 100 yuan to sing a song for me. I said I had preconditions.

I won't give him money if I can sing this song.

Li: One hundred yuan a section. Is that what he said?

Liu: Huh?

Li: Did you ask anyone for money?

Liu: He is willing to give it.

Li: He issued a ticket. Do you want money when people come in?

Liu: Do you think he has a ticket stub?

Cao: No, listen to me. I asked him to sing two paragraphs. You don't pay if you want to meet.

Li: Of course. Who paid for the hearing?

Cao: As a result, I can sing three paragraphs, which is the most irritating. (Kuqiang) He asked me to make an iron hoop.

Li: No, why did you make iron hoops?

Cao: He told me to cover my ancestral grave when Tomb-Sweeping Day went to the grave, so as not to be scolded.

Li: Did you do it? (Liu applauds)

Cao: I won't do it.

Li: I didn't do it. Don't worry if I didn't do it. If I didn't do it, I didn't do it until I was scolded.

Liu: OK! Come and borrow it from me if you have no money!

Li: What are you talking about? Don't provoke others. I'm asking them what happened. Here they come. ...

Cao: Are you helping him help me? !

Li; No, I, I, who is helping me?

Cao: Then who is right?

Li: This, this, this is all his fault.

Cao: That's right. Tell me.

Li: He is. He came to listen to the program.

Liu: Yes.

Li: I didn't ask you to sing it to others!

Liu: I sang.

Li: What are you singing?

Liu: I sang shoe store.

Li: Shoe store. What did he say?

Liu: He said yes.

Li: He will ask you to change it.

Liu: Change it for him.

Li: What are you singing?

Liu: I sang Tong Ren Tang.

Li: What did he say?

Liu; He said that he sang it once yesterday.

Li: Then you can change it for him.

Liu: I sang him walking down the street.

Li: Well, what did he say?

Liu: He called me a beggar. He said he would do it again.

Li: He will ask you to change it for him!

Liu: Then I don't want it. Besides, you didn't teach me backstage. If you teach me a little more, won't this hundred dollars be earned?

Li: Who said I didn't teach you?

Liu; Can you teach me more?

Li: Why are your disciples always like this? Still grinning at me?

Liu: Who pouted for you?

Li: I taught you (Fan Liu). Have you studied hard? You didn't study hard when teaching you.

Liu: Do I study hard?

Li: (hitting Liu with a fan) What did you study hard? Study? What have you learned? Can't you learn? Just three paragraphs? (Hit Liu with a fan, and the fan breaks, and then give Liu a fat beating and knock it down) What have you learned from you? ! !

Liu: No money, no ass.

Li: Huh? You seldom talk, do you? I have made it very clear. What are you doing here? Is there anyone like you? (pushing Cao) He is a god. He will come to listen to cross talk. No, you are a terrible person here. You won't. You should study hard. As for this? Hmm? (Cao hands the fan to Li, and Li pushes Cao) I tell you, don't worry, I'm not finished with him. (Pushing Cao) Don't persuade him. It's no use persuading him. I must train him well. I don't have this apprentice.

Liu: I didn't do anything

Li: You still, you still keep your mouth shut.

Cao: You are almost finished.

Liu: (knocking Cao to the ground) Go! !

Cao: Stay away from me.

Li: You can't do that.

Liu: Yes, I know. Yes, I didn't. No, I sang so well.

Li: OK, OK. What can?

Liu: You, didn't you hear?

Li: Yes.

Liu: I sing so well that I

Li: Don't talk. Stand still and don't talk. Come here, come here, come here.

Cao: (defending with a fan)

Liu: I'll do it.

Li: What's it to you? (Pushing Liu down) You said * *, and you were there. (Turning to Cao) Come here, you put the fan down. Don't be angry, it's because of him. I have no good education. Now my apprentice is even more cruel than my master. I can't help it

Cao: Calm down, too.

Li: Yes. Guess what? Come on, you want to hear it?

Cao: I just want to listen to Liu.

Li: I just want to hear the number of treasures. Can I have someone else sing it for you?

Cao: Good! who is it?

Li; I'll sing you a song. I'll sing you a song.

Cao: OK.

Li: Will that do?

Cao; All right. Then when you sing (five words are unclear)

Li: Why?

Cao: 1000 paragraph.

Li: A thousand? ! ! Hey! Listen, hey. (hitting Liu with a fan) Look, they give you a thousand dollars. Hmm.

Liu: Did you earn it?

Li: You are talking nonsense, boy. What do you mean by earning? This is earned.

Liu: Why don't you listen outside?

Li: Listen. Study hard. A thousand.

Cao: One thousand.

Li: OK (Allegro, for example, is backwards). Be careful (Liu stops Li)

Liu: No, no, no, you've heard of it. Have you seen Allegro?

Li: What's wrong with me?

Liu: On the contrary!

Li: I hold it backwards. I know I took it backwards. I'm just telling you it's wrong. You have to hold it like this, and this hand has to hold it like this, right? Don't do what he did next time. I made a mistake, but you can see it.

Liu: I can see that.

Li: I'll sing you a song.

Cao: Sing one, I can't sing one.

Li: Of course. I promise you won't. I'll give you 1000 if you want.

Cao: OK.

Li: How dare you say that? Attention! You also listen carefully.

Cao: There can be no jokes.

Li: Hey. People can't, and neither can I.

Liu: Does he mean that you are not human?

Li: Why do you always say ... (Beating Liu) Listen. Don't complain Be careful, make sure you don't. White rabbit, white ears stand up. (Cao Liu) loves carrots and vegetables, and runs fast (Cao Ban)

Cao: I still like carrots. You are not as good as him.

Li: I'm not as good as him. I know it's not as good as his. I will warm up first. I want a baby first.

Cao: Let's start with a humorous one.

Li: A white rabbit first. Then have a good one.

Cao: Open a bag first.

Li: Pay attention (holding the board)

Cao: Come on.

Li: One thousand.

Liu: Give the aria a unique performance.

Li: I can only do this.

(This is the> text I compiled, which is particularly interesting. I hope you like it.)