What steps did the ancient marriage take?

Nacai, ask the name, Najib; Recruit, invite and greet the bride.

Act as a matchmaker/middleman

In China, the matchmaker plays a key role in civil marriage. China customs and habits have repeatedly emphasized the fate of "no clouds and no rain in the sky, no matchmaking on the ground". Both men and women have to go through a matchmaker to get married. Matchmakers can take the initiative to bridge the gap between men and women, or they can be entrusted by others and be loyal to others. After a man and a woman get married successfully, the matchmaker can collect some money, which is called a thank-you gift. The money is usually paid by the man. When the man goes to the woman's house, the woman pays for it and sends it to the matchmaker's house together with the chicken, duck, elbow, shoes and socks the day before the wedding. The matchmaker must instruct to pick up the bride the next day, which is called round media or initiating media or sending media. The amount of money for the thank-you ceremony is determined by the financial situation of the host family, and it must be sealed with red paper. This is called a red envelope or envelope.

exchange kisses

In ancient times, both single men and women had little chance to get close, especially women, who lived in boudoir. After the blind date is over, the man usually proposes to have a look. This first visit to a woman's house under the guidance of a matchmaker is called blind date, commonly known as meeting relatives. The date of blind date is proposed by the man, and the time is decided by the matchmaker and notified to both men and women. Both sides should be prepared. The man should bring some gifts, not too much, just to show his heart. It would be better if he could impress the other parents. As protagonists, both men and women should try their best to dress appropriately and beautifully in order to win each other's favor.

If the woman's parents want to entertain the man, it means that the man has the consent of the woman's family. If the meal is delayed and the man is allowed to leave the house, it means that the marriage is about to fall apart. Generally speaking, China is a delicate country. This kind of thing is certainly not clear. It depends on the man and the matchmaker. Of course, the woman may also "patronize" the man's house, which is called "watching" in some places. If the woman's parents are unwilling to accept hospitality and insist on leaving, it shows that marriage is difficult to succeed. At this point, of course, men can't stay. The woman's parents gladly accept the invitation according to the man's family situation, or drink all the fragrant tea offered, and the outcome is of course happy.

Present a dowry to the bride's family

Both men and women can perform certain marriage procedures after blind date, which is called "ceremony". The matchmaker will send the man's birthday to the woman and the woman's birthday to the man at the wedding. At this time, superstitious parents mostly ask fortune tellers to calculate the combination and disagreement between men and women. Intimacy, marriage continues; If you disagree, stop here. Marriage is out of the question. After exchanging posts and matching the eight characters, the matchmaker will choose a good day to take the man to a "gift" engagement. "Gift-giving" is an important event in the wedding, and the party who takes the initiative in the wedding should give the other party a generous gift. Different local customs have different gifts. Some places require gifts to include at least a pig elbow, two bottles of wine, a chicken and duck, a suit for the other parents, a pair of shoes and socks, and something for girls. How much money to seal in the envelope and what to give the girl for engagement are generally negotiated by the matchmaker in advance, not what the man can give. After the ceremony, both men and women can agree on the date of marriage.

Select a date or time

In China's traditional concept, the choice of wedding date is also very particular. People think that the choice of wedding date is related to the future happiness of both men and women. This activity of choosing an auspicious day is called "choosing a day" or "choosing an auspicious day". The task of choosing the date is generally done by astrologers or fortune tellers, and parents with high education can of course look at the "imperial calendar" or calculate it by themselves. After the wedding date is determined, both parents can send out invitations to invite relatives and friends to the wedding. Marriage certificates are generally handed over to relatives and friends personally by both parties to the marriage or their parents. After relatives and friends receive the wedding documents, even if people can't go, they usually send gifts and write congratulations on them. In rural areas, gifts for women are mostly in kind, such as boxes, cabinets, beds, quilts, clothes and materials. And the giver doesn't have to wait for the invitation to arrive, because the woman's parents have to decide the scale of the wedding banquet wine according to the number of people giving gifts.

Shop room

In ancient times, the day before the wedding ceremony, the woman sent someone to the man's house to build a house with him. This process is called "building houses". Men and women put things differently. Sima Guang's Book of Three Marriages said: "Bed seats, chairs, tables and the like should be available to men, while women should be like felt mattresses and curtains." After the woman's house is paved, she has to press the house and prepare the shed. He also guarded the house with the woman he trusted and the servant who married the woman, and did not let outsiders enter the house to wait for the new couple.

(of a girl on the eve of her wedding) shave off the fine hair on her face and neck and trim the hairline of her temples.

A process that girls have to do one or two days before they get married is also called opening their faces. At that time, a woman with two children was asked to twist each other with two lines and pull out the hair on the face of the woman who was going to get married. In some areas, pulling again after marriage is commonly known as "pulling face". In Zhejiang and Hangzhou, when married women open their faces, they put two pots of evergreen beside them, both of which are wrapped in red paper for good luck.

Wear velvet flowers

When a woman gets married, she wears an extra velvet flower on her head. Edelweiss make a person's image by weaving grass, such as sending a child to Kirin. Because velvet flowers are homophonic with splendor, it means splendor. According to legend, in the Tang Dynasty, Yang Guifei had a small mole on her temple, which was often covered with flowers. Because flowers wither easily, they are replaced by velvet flowers made by the people. Since then, people have followed suit and become a custom.

Wear phoenix clothes and a crested phoenix.

The dress customs of the bride when she gets married. Rockhopper is a kind of clothing embroidered with phoenix dragon patterns and colorful ornaments, symbolizing good luck and wealth. This is unique to ancient aristocrats, and it was later used by ordinary women, regardless of rank, and then spread to weddings, only because of family wealth. In modern times, when men and women get married in cities, it is easy for the bride to wear a veil, and the skirt is more than a foot long. When walking, two children are held behind them, which is the result of the influence of European and American wedding customs.

Eat and drink.

On the wedding day, before the bride gets on the sedan chair, both men and women prepare banquets at home, and the younger generation or peers accompany the bride and groom to eat together. This is called eating together and having dinner together. After a harmonious meal, the bride wears a headscarf and holds hands to bid farewell to her parents and relatives. After that, the screen man and the candle man led her around, and she got out of the house and got into the sedan chair. After the groom has finished eating, he should sit on the bed and don't look out. In some areas, this ceremony is advanced to the night before a woman's wedding, which is also called "No Kissing" and "Farewell".

Barrier surface

The bride should cover it with a red scarf before getting on the sedan chair, and can't take it off in the sedan chair. This is the barrier surface, also known as the hijab. After the man enters the bridal chamber, it can only be opened by the groom or the female relatives of the man's family, so that the congratulations can see the bride's elegant demeanor. This is the so-called hijab.

Bangudu

When a woman wants to get married, she usually invites a respected old woman to spread millet and beans with a dustpan in her hand, and some places scatter grass. Before the bride gets on the sedan chair, it should be broadcast inside and outside. When the sedan chair arrives at the door of the man's house, the bride should also plant seeds before getting off the sedan chair. It's called spreading corn beans. When the bride and groom enter the bridal chamber, the woman and the man sit on the new bed on their left and right, and the man's house will also sprinkle five grains of beans and coins again. This is called spreading the bill. One is that cereal beans can ward off evil spirits, and the other is to use plant seeds as a metaphor to wish the bride an early birth. This folk custom existed in the Han Dynasty. In other places, peanuts and red dates are sprinkled, which means giving birth early, and boys and girls should spend their lives together.

Pick up the bride (in a sedan chair) for the wedding.

When they are about to get married, both men and women will kill pigs and sheep, and prepare to invite cooks, bridesmaids, bearers and other handyman. After applying, these people should start working in the main room the day before the wedding to prepare for the wedding reception. The traditional wedding is usually that the woman's family prepares to get married in the morning and the man's family holds a wedding reception at noon; If it is annoying, it is just the opposite. When everything was ready, Yanari, a man, played music with a cannon and sent a sedan chair to greet the bride. The matchmaker took the lead, followed by the groom, bridesmaid, sedan chair, band and gift box team. The bride's family should prepare the wedding reception before the sedan chair comes. A girl should comb her hair by her mother or sister, screw off the fluff on her face with silk thread, put on makeup, and call it "opening her face", then cover her head with red cloth and wait for the bride's sedan chair.

When the sedan chair arrived at the woman's house, it was greeted by firecrackers and music. After the wedding procession entered the women's hall, the sedan chair landed, and the groom bowed down to his parents-in-law and presented a red wedding invitation with his father's name on it. Then there was an interesting party at the woman's house. When eating, the matchmaker and the groom should be careful, because there is an unwritten custom in China. In the three days after their wedding, peers and teenagers among friends and relatives can skillfully make up a few small comedies to play tricks on the matchmaker or groom, which are called "washing media" and "hanging red", commonly known as "welcoming guests". The matchmaker and groom should be tolerant of these little farce that can increase the happy atmosphere, and might as well take some revenge, but don't really get angry.

After breakfast, the bride and groom will bow to the ancestors and elders of the bride under the guidance of the matchmaker, and then the bridesmaid can help the bride get into the sedan chair. Before getting on the sedan chair, the bride usually marries in tears to show her attachment to her parents and family. After the bride got on the sedan chair, she played music and set off firecrackers, and got off the sedan chair and blew a kiss. The band is in front, and the groom is behind. If possible, he is willing to ride a horse, and then the sedan chair and others will see the bride off.

Marriage takes another road, so sometimes it takes a detour, commonly known as "never coming back." If you encounter temples, wells, shrines, graves, big stones, trees, etc. On the way, you should cover the wedding sedan chair to avoid evil spirits. If there is another wedding, the bearers should try their best to make the sedan chair rise and fall smoothly. In some areas, both the groom and groom need to change their corsage. In the event of a funeral, say, "Today is auspicious, you have met a treasure!" " "When the wedding team is about to arrive at the groom's door, the man's house will greet it with firecrackers and music. The sedan chair stopped in front of the groom's main hall. The bridesmaids invited by the man's family are generally young and beautiful women. They must lift the curtain of the sedan chair and help the bride get off. The bridesmaids came forward to pay their respects. Guests sprinkle flowers on the bride and groom, usually replacing them with red and yellow pieces of paper, which will push the wedding to a climax.

Baitang

After the man married the bride, he began to decorate a memorial place in the man's room. When the sedan chair stopped in front of the main hall, the maid of honor invited by the man stood in front of the sedan chair and the ceremony began. The incense table is filled with cigarettes, and the red candle has a high fever. Friends and relatives, functional personnel in their positions. The two bridesmaids appeared as "Zan" and "Zan" respectively and began to pay tribute. After receiving compliments and compliments, the bride and groom began to worship the bride. The traditional procedure of worship ceremony is as follows:

Zan: The groom is standing in front of the sedan chair.

Tong Zan: Start the sedan chair and get up.

Praise: The groom bowed and invited the bride.

Praise: The bride and groom walked to the front of the drawing room.

Zan: The bride and groom are in position in front of the incense table. Play music and shoot.

Tong Zan: The bride and groom put incense in shrines and ancestral tablets.

Zan: kneel down and offer incense. Light candles, burn incense, burn incense, store, wake up and reset.

Tong Zan: Kneel down, kowtow, kowtow again, kowtow three times. ...

Then there are the traditional three worships-one worships heaven and earth, the other worships parents, the husband and wife worship each other, and finally the introduction of the bridal chamber. This is the end of the ceremony. The ceremony of picking up the bride has the following steps:

The wedding has begun.

(2) The bride and groom and the guests are seated.

(3) present flowers to the bride and groom.

(4) shoot and play music.

(5) The witness read the marriage certificate.

(6) The officiating person delivered a speech.

(7) Presenter's speech.

(8) guest speeches.

(9) The bride and groom bow three times to the officiating guests, witnesses, introducers and guests.

The bride and groom bow to each other.

(1 1) The bride and groom exchange gifts.

(12) The bride and groom love each other.

(13) Bride and groom show.

(14) The bride and groom enter the bridal chamber.

(15) guests opened the table.

wedding feast

According to the traditional customs of China, the layout of new houses is also very particular.

Add a couplet in front of the main room (1) and cross-approve.

(2) A square lantern is hung high in the center of the main hall, and the four sides of the lantern are painted with patterns such as "Couple Chorus", "Goddess of Mercy to Send Children", "Champion" and "Family Fun".

(3) A pair of huge red candles on the incense table.

(4) Put a picture on the wall facing each other.

(5) On the "golden wall" of the new house, there are six characters of "heaven and earth, kinship, teacher position", which are written straight from top to bottom. The writing of these six words is particular: the sky should be flat, that is, the two horizontal lines of the word "flat" should be written flat and not distorted; To be wide means to write the word "land" wider, not too narrow; You don't say anything, that is, the word "mouth" of the word "jun" should be completely closed, and no gaps can be left; If you don't close your eyes, you can write the traditional Chinese character "〓 〓", and the word "〓 〓" on the right can't seal all the last horizontal lines of the word "wood" above.

On the door frame of the new house (1), there is a pair of couplets and a horizontal batch, which generally says "Husband and wife are clear".

(2) Put a red double happiness on the door.

(3) Hanging lanterns in the middle of the new house.

(4) Paper-cut big red double happiness characters are pasted on the window, and paper-cut butterfly patterns are pasted on the four corners.

(5) Stick couplets on both sides of the window.

(6) Hanging calligraphy and painting around the wall.

There is a couplet on the front door of the kitchen, and the word "Xi" is posted on the door.

Other details, such as putting a word "hi" on the doors of all rooms.

After both men and women bow, the bride will never come out in the new house. The groom will go out of the new house to meet the guests. For example, in hotels and restaurants, both husband and wife must go out to meet guests and propose a toast to them. Seats at the wedding banquet should be arranged according to the qualifications of the guests, which is called "treat" or "diners". The principle of seating arrangement is to respect the upper and lower, respect the right and respect the left. Guests are sorted from high to low according to age, identity and status.

The chairman should be placed in the center above the hall, "elder relatives" (also called "elder relatives" and "elder relatives", that is, the bride's uncle, father and uncle) should sit at the right head, the groom's father or uncle should sit at the left head, and the rest should be seated accordingly. In addition to the main seat in the main hall, a second distinguished seat was placed in the new house. The bride's mother was invited to sit first, accompanied by the groom's mother or aunt. The seats of other seats should also be arranged in order.

When the seats are arranged, the groom will pour wine and toast for the chief, and then start serving the first course. All tables and drinks should be the same, except for the seats where "male relatives" and "female relatives" are located. As usual, there should be a steamed pork elbow. Moreover, the groom should always wait at the table, pour wine, serve rice and send hot towels. To show respect.

After the wedding reception, "Shangqin" checked out, had some snacks, and was accompanied by the man's elders to make some polite remarks. The handyman moved his seat and swept the floor, so it was time for Shang Qin to get up and leave. When leaving, the man should "send away" his clothes, shoes and socks, and pay attention to the red envelope. "Farewell Kiss" is another lively scene. All decent people in the family should be sent to the door and set off firecrackers to show their respect. The groom and his parents should send the guests to the village entrance.

Hold a wedding banquet

The custom of making wine began in the Zhou Dynasty. "The Book of Rites Faint Instrument" records that the couple ate and hugged while in prison. In fact, cutting a gourd into two spoonfuls is called "cutting". When holding a wedding, both the bride and groom gargle with wine, which is called "tying the knot". Therefore, people regard marriage as a synonym for marriage. This custom later evolved into "drinking a glass of wine".

Candlelight night

In ancient times, most candles used in weddings were painted with dragon and phoenix patterns. Later generations called flowers and candles marriage. He Xun's poem "Looking at Fulang's Newly Married" says: "When will you spend the candle night and fan the red skirt lightly?" On the wedding night, the bride and groom stay up all night, which is called "keeping flowers and candles". For those who don't keep flowers and candles, after the couple goes to sleep, the helper and bridesmaid must always go into the room to see if the flowers and candles are in good condition, so as to avoid writing on the wall. Superstitious people have the saying that "the left candle makes the groom die first, and the right candle makes the bride die first", so when one candle goes out, the other candle will also go out.

(of relatives and friends) teasing the newlyweds on their wedding night.

This can be said to be the climax of the wedding. Making trouble in the bridal chamber has other meanings besides amusing. It is said that foxes and ghosts often haunt the bridal chamber, which can drive away the yin of evil spirits and enhance people's yang. According to this, there is a cloud: "People are not haunted." In a positive sense, it can still increase the lively atmosphere and drive away the cold feeling, so some places are also called "warm houses". In the past, men and women were mostly unfamiliar with each other through introductions. Making a new house can help them get rid of strangeness and make a good start for their newly married life. In addition, the bridal chamber can make relatives and friends familiar with each other, show the prosperity of the family and enhance the feelings between relatives and friends. At a certain time, the groom will lead the bride to "bow to recognize her relatives." All the elders of the man's family will come in one by one to greet the bride and groom with the praise of the best man, and give the bride a red envelope as a meeting gift. This is the so-called "bow envelope". At the same time, the elderly have to pay "half of the gift money". This ceremony can show family unity. Making trouble in the bridal chamber is "three days regardless of size." The parents of the bride and groom and even the groom are often teased and teased by others and even the younger generation. People who are teased and teased should not be angry, so as not to spoil the festive atmosphere of the wedding. Of course, people who make trouble in the bridal chamber should not go too far, and making trouble for too long will also affect the rest of the newlyweds. Pay special attention not to be too rude and cause uncivilized things.

Opening ceremony

Three days after marriage, the bride opened the box. Aunt Weng, uncle, relatives and friends all prepared gifts, and brothers, sons, nephews and younger generations also sent some gifts respectively. The offerings are mostly silks and satins, clothes, shoes and socks. Rich and powerful people with a large population are extremely rich.

Huimen

Three, seven or nine days after marriage, the groom accompanies the bride from her husband's house to her mother's house. The woman's family is going to make a grand "Huimen wine". During the dinner, the bride will introduce the groom to visit relatives and friends at home, starting with the oldest and most distinguished. The audience either nodded, stood up to help each other, or paid half the gift and gave the groom a red envelope. At this point, the traditional wedding customs in China are complete.