Reading Essays One's West

At this point, I am very similar to my father. I will always remember others' kindness to me, even a smile. Other people's bad-in fact, in a righteous way, what's wrong? -I always forget, because I understand that what is bad is just a little emotional catharsis of others. Once the mood is over, the bad ones will disappear. The goodness of others can always shine in my life and become a kind of spiritual nutrition. However, many people just don't understand this. They always hate this person and scold that person all their lives, and their hearts are always entangled. Over time, some trivial things and contradictions, because they are recited and hung up every day, have been attached to their bones, which will haunt them for a lifetime, make their hearts worry and torture them. On weekdays, every day in a village, I always intrigue and whisper, which is so boring. As the saying goes, friends should make up instead of getting married. Things have passed, the situation has moved, and everything will change. There is no need to take those grievances to heart. Therefore, what should be put down should be put down, and what should be solved should be solved. Live calmly and clearly to make your heart feel better.

-Excerpt from "One's West" Xuemo People's Literature Publishing House

Rereading A Man's West reveals many interesting languages and cultures besides new experiences and gains. For example, in our understanding of Putonghua, the word "cheat" means to make others happy or please someone. In Liangzhou dialect, the meaning of the word "playing tricks on people" is much richer than that of Mandarin. When you do something to make people applaud, you play tricks on people. In addition, there are many meanings such as wonderful life and envy.

I recalled my past life according to the meaning of "playing tricks on people" in Liangzhou dialect, and found that there was no trace of "playing tricks on people" in my past life. My life is as dull as mine, and I have never done anything surprising. Of course, I mean the good side. Take my time at school as an example. I have never been envied by my classmates, nor have I been favored by my teachers. In my eyes, those students with good grades are really "playing tricks" Of course, that's my understanding of "fooling people" when I was studying. Now, if I have to evaluate the "cheating" in school, I will definitely not evaluate it only from the results.

When it comes to playing tricks on people, I always think of an old woman, who is an indispensable part of my childhood memory. Whenever I think of her, I always think of Mei Chaofeng written by Jin Yong, and I can hear her voice without meeting anyone. The old lady surnamed Wu lives in the same building as her grandmother. I haven't seen her husband since the first day I met her. It is said that her husband eloped with a young woman. Therefore, in my memory, Wu Apo has always lived alone.

If people's memory can be classified by color, my memory of Wu Apo belongs to black. Frankly speaking, she was the person I was most afraid to see when I was a child, because every time I saw her, even if she didn't make me cry, I would be very unhappy. When I was a child, my busy parents didn't have much leisure time to take care of me, so I stayed at my grandmother's house every summer vacation. Every afternoon, I always sit on the stone bench downstairs with a corn in my arms. When I was a child, I liked to eat corn. At that time, the corn was very fragrant, sweet and full of corn flavor. The corn we eat now always feels that there is a taste missing. I wonder if the taste of corn has changed or my taste has changed. Just as I was absorbed in the sweetness of corn, there was a shout in my ear. I looked up and it turned out to be grandma Wu. I saw Wu Apo standing in front of me wearing a purple dress with flowers on her hips. She stared at me closely and questioned me loudly at the same time. Wu Apo said, "Why did you steal my corn? I want to tell your teacher that you stole my corn. " When I saw this scene at the age of six, I cried and explained to Wu Apo that this was my own corn. I still remember my psychological activities at that time. I feel so wronged that I don't know how to face this old woman who suddenly said I stole from her. I cried as I talked, and I cried as I talked. I didn't say it until I cried. When Grandma Wu saw me like this, she smiled and said that I couldn't help teasing and turned to show off my "record" to the grandparents who were playing cards. Besides, Grandma Wu comes to rob me of my corn from time to time. Maybe she thinks it's funny, but for a six-year-old child, this kind of "fun" is really a bit special.

Wu Apo is actually a warm-hearted person. She always tries her best to help her neighbors. Whenever the neighbors thank her, we can always read a trace of satisfaction from her expression. Maybe, she needs the approval of others. In her eyes, others' recognition of her may be another kind of "trick". For a person who should have entered the sunset and enjoyed his old age with his wife, he has to face not only his wife's betrayal, but also his own life. It's really not easy to think of grandma Wu. There must be some bitterness in her life, otherwise, how could she be idle to rob a six-year-old child of corn? Who would be so bored as to show off a child's crying as an honor? I think that half of Wu Apo's "cheating" is recognized by others, and the other half is that she lives in her own world. For the pain brought by the outside world, she needs a spiritual world to bring her happiness. Today, however, she can only find happiness in the way I remember. Her happiness is not real unless she can find faith. Of course, this belief is not just a religion.

After studying in middle school, I seldom stay at my grandmother's house during the summer vacation, so I naturally have less opportunities to contact Wu Apo. I only go back to my grandmother's house once in a while. I greet her when I meet her. She is also very happy when I greet her, so I quickly answer a few times for fear that I don't know that she is responding to me. Under the baptism of years, I grew up and she was old. One day after dinner, I stood downstairs and blew my hair. I saw grandma on the third floor sticking pain-relieving ointment to grandma Wu. I suddenly remembered my grandmother's words. Grandma said, "Poor old Wu. He is an old man, and he doesn't even have a person with an analgesic ointment. This marriage is fatal. A bad harvest is a season, and a bad marriage is a lifetime ... "In the sunset, Wu Apo looks particularly old. It's hard for me to find the woman who used to make fun of me. Her whole state in front of me is a kind old man. She sometimes looks at me and smiles. Maybe in her laughter, there will be something beautiful in her memory.

I suddenly let go of the shadow of my childhood, and may also understand why she has many behaviors that I don't understand and don't like. His wife betrayed her. Who can understand her pain? Who can understand her loneliness after living alone for many years? She needs to be released and covered. Who can understand the reasons behind her behavior? The universe is like a big chessboard. Each of us is a chess piece on the chessboard. We run wildly and crisscross the fate of each of us on this chessboard. Then, Wu Apo's life was doomed to be lonely, so she walked alone at dusk and came to the end of her life.

Her life is approaching death day by day, and my life has reached the most prosperous stage in my life. We are not who we used to be. She watched me grow up and I watched her grow old. I don't know if that outsider is watching me grow old and come to the edge of life.

Written on June 9, 20 18, Maofeng Mountain, Guangzhou.