Please tell a joke that made you laugh for the first time.

The beautiful lady walked into the dentist's office excitedly. She was on pins and needles after the doctor prepared the instruments.

On the chair.

The doctor was about to examine her, and she said, "Oh, doctor. I'm afraid of dentists. I would rather have one.

Son, don't pull out your teeth either. 」

The doctor said patiently, "All right! Miss, make a decision before I adjust the chair! 」

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Title: Churchill-so decisive

Churchill disagreed with some views of feminist Nancy Astor. Make this lady very angry.

"Mr Churchill, if I were your wife, I would poison your coffee."

What if I were your husband? Churchill answered without hesitation? "I must put it out without hesitation.

Drink it! "

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Title: Churchill-What a surprise

Churchill told the taxi driver to wait outside for a while and then send him back. Who knows that the driver is very determined to return.

Answer,?

"No, I have to go back to Churchill's speech."

Churchill was ecstatic and immediately gave him a handsome tip. The driver was overjoyed and immediately said,?

"Sir, I think I'd better wait for you here instead of going to Churchill's speech."

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Title: Churchill-so dissatisfied

Churchill didn't like him being the son-in-law of an acrobat. One day, the son-in-law asked his father-in-law about World War II.

Who did you admire most in the war?

I didn't expect Churchill to say "Mussolini". Then he added?

"He has the courage to shoot his son-in-law!"

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Title: Churchill-So Heroic

In Churchill's later years, an American film studio planned to make a biographical film reflecting him and hired a large sum of money to shoot it.

The star Charlie Fratton plays the leading role. Churchill learned that Fratton would get a huge reward for playing himself.

Anger. ?

"First of all, Fratton this guy is too fat, and secondly, he is too old. Since acting can get so much money.

I might as well do it myself. "

After being strongly discouraged by his family, Churchill gave up his dream of becoming an actor.

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Title: TV anchor's joke

There is a joke circulating among peers recently:

The news anchor of a TV station loves to make his own decisions because of his lack of common sense.

So I often make some jokes. One day, this beautiful female anchor saw a story about Taoyuan Airport.

Because the weather doesn't allow the plane to land, the manuscript reads like this ... China Airlines.

Because the tower could not arrange the landing in time, flight xxxx also circled over the airport.

Unexpectedly ... the great and beautiful anchor thought "one week" was too much, so he joined.

When I broadcast the news, I cleverly changed "one week" to "one week". Still muttering

Say, "Writing a manuscript is not a bit linguistic ..."

Another time, on the occasion of Arbor Day, the TV station planned a small topic about Sun Yat-sen's resume.

The hard-working and attentive anchor, of course, also recited a few press releases with trepidation, but only

Seeing question marks on her delicate face, she finally looked up and said, "I"

Don't you have only one founding father, and you are from Guangdong? When will there be another one called Zhongshan Bridge?

Japanese? ......" ..........

Dear friends, don't think I'm talking nonsense, it's true!

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Title: Miracle

Party A and Party B are arguing about whether there are miracles in the world.

A: If someone falls from the third floor and is still safe, what is it, not a miracle?

That's luck.

A: What if that person falls down again and is not hurt?

That's a lucky star.

A: What if I fall down again?

B: Oh! That is well trained!

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Title: Connotation

When viewing personal information,

Brother: this is good, female, 23 years old, feminine and meaningful!

Sister: What do you mean by "connotation"?

Brother: I just have something in my stomach!

Sister: ... unmarried mother ......

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Title: 3 jokes

& lt 1.& gt

Topic: Chinese teacher's couplets

Mono junior high school has a substitute Chinese teacher, who is very funny and tells an interesting story in class.

Mono still remembers the jokes in couplets:

Su Dongpo has a younger sister named Su Xiaomei, who is smart and talented.

Su Xiaomei once read Historical Records with relish. When Sue saw it, she teased her little sister:

"My sister reads historical records and has a good heart."

Hearing this, Su Xiaomei couldn't think of couplets at the moment, so he had to recite them.

One day, Su Sao was drying clothes in the yard, and the sun was very bright. Sister-in-law Sue raised her hand to cover the sun.

When Su Xiaomei saw this scene, he took off his exit and said to him:

"My sister-in-law is afraid of the sun!"

& lt2.& gt

Topic: What should I give my girlfriend and father on Father's Day?

What should I give my girlfriend and father on Father's Day?

A: "draw"

B: "razor"

C: "shirt"

Ding: "Little grandson! ! ! 』

& lt3.& gt

Title: Give up your seat

Mouse and his five-year-old son Xiao Qi just got home from the bus. ...

"Mom," said to her mother Ling, "when I was on the bus just now, my father called me up to give a very.

Beautiful woman. Sit down. 」

"Dad, that's right," Ling said. "This is to teach you manners. Men should give up their seats.

Female. 」

"But I'm sitting on my father's lap! 」

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Topic: I would rather die than recruit.

There was a bank robbery in a small town in California. The robber was arrested by the sheriff as soon as he hid the money.

Because the robbers came here illegally from the other side of the Pacific Ocean and could not speak English, the sheriff had to ask MacArthur.

Become a translator.

After a period of fatigue bombing, the robbers insisted on not saying where the money was hidden. No way, the sheriff had to

Dressed as a bad policeman, he growled at MacArthur and told the robber, "If you don't say anything, shoot him!" MacArthur faithfully put forward

The sheriff's meaning was conveyed. Probably the translation was so good that the robbers were incoherent with fear: "The money is in the well in the middle of the town."

Please tell him to spare my life. "

MacArthur turned my head and told the sheriff with a dignified expression:

"This boy has the courage, he would rather die than talk. He told you to shoot him. "

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Title: Take the team name .....

When teaching in kindergarten, we should compete in groups.

For the convenience of refueling, please think of a name for each team. This is better. Come on. ...

Teacher: What's the name of your group?

Group 1: Teacher, we are going to call the heroes. ...

Teacher: hmm ... good, you are all heroes (giving positive praise)

(Go to the second group)

Teacher: The first group was called heroes just now. What about you?

Group 2: Teacher, teacher, we are going to call the Cherry Maruko Team.

Teacher: Hmm ... Great! You are all as cute as meatballs (give affirmation)

(Go to the third group)

Teacher: What team do you want to call, children?

Team leader: Teacher, we ...............

Teacher: Never mind, take your time. ....

Leader: Teacher, we are called "Cheerleading Team".

Teacher: ......

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Title: Clinton's joke ....

It is said that Clinton was elected president of the United States. After all the celebrations, he and the first lady

Hillary Clinton comes out the back door of the White House to relax!

The car was almost out of gas on the way, so I went to the gas station to refuel. When I got to the gas station, I was afraid that others would recognize me.

That's the president of the United States, so Clinton told Hillary to go down and refuel and stay in the car! I didn't expect-

Hillary and the owner of the gas station were very happy talking and laughing. At this time, Clinton could not help feeling jealous.

. After filling up, Hillary returned to the car. ...

"Who was that man you were talking and laughing with just now?" Clinton asked jealously.

"Oh ~ it's my high school classmate!" Hillary replied.

"There are joking! You, if you marry him, you are only a gas station now, madam. Where is it?

First lady of the United States! Hum! Clinton said with a little pride.

"You know, if I marry him, the current President of the United States is not you, but him.

Yeah ~ "Hillary answered seriously.

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Title: Reprinted inscription in class

I haven't passed the exam in high school, and I can learn without cheating in deep school.

Alice is the only idle person in the classroom.

Novels spread quickly, magazines are turned frequently, and I want to go to the game and watch movies.

You can write love letters, miss your girlfriend and review.

Although the non-dance floor is comparable to the playground, there is a cloud in my heart: mix a diploma.

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Title: Parking space

If there are 100 parking spaces, ....

You can park 80 cars for Americans-because American cars are big.

It is just right to park 100 cars for Germans-because Germans are the most disciplined.

You can park 120 cars for the Japanese-because Japanese cars are small.

If you park for Taiwan Province people, you can only park two cars ... because two people leave each other.

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Title: Junior high school students

A joke from a long time ago:

A foreigner bought a movie ticket behind a junior high school student. Because the conductor can't speak English,

Please tell the foreigner at the back that there are only standing tickets left to see if he wants to buy.

As a result, junior high school students said to foreigners, "If you don't have a seat, you can watch it or not, if you stand and watch it."

There are no seats left, so you can watch or not. If you want to see it, you can stand and watch it. ) After listening, the foreigner said to junior high school students:

"I don't understand your English." Junior high school students said to the conductor as soon as they heard it.

Said he didn't understand English.

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Title: Joke

Translate a fable, graduate students are not allowed to laugh. Non-graduate students, um ... probably can't laugh!

A rabbit is typing in the cave. A fox came from a distance and looked at it.

Out of curiosity, he asked the rabbit, "Rabbit! Excuse me, what are you typing? "

The rabbit replied, "I am typing a paper." The topic is: How do rabbits eat foxes? "

The fox smiled: "What a joke! How can rabbits eat foxes? "

The rabbit said, "since you don't believe me, please come with me and I'll prove it to you!" " So the fox followed.

The rabbit went into the cave.

Soon, the rabbit came out of the hole alone and continued typing.

Soon, another wolf came and asked curiously, "Rabbit, rabbit, what are you doing?"

The rabbit replied, "I am writing a paper about how rabbits eat wolves." "

The wolf smiled, "ridiculous! Ridiculous! How can such an absurd topic be passed? "

The rabbit invited the wolf to the cave again. Soon, the rabbit came out of the hole alone and continued typing.

When the camera returned to the cave, I saw two piles of bones on one side of the cave. On the other side, a lion is crushing it.

The bone got stuck between its teeth.

Moral:

1: It doesn't matter what the topic of your paper is.

It doesn't matter what the content of your paper is.

The important thing is, who is your paper boss?