A joke about Tang Priest's love triangle.

1. No one knows why he made a scene in heaven. He fell in love with Guanyin. Like a naughty boy, he wants his mother's attention. If she hadn't given the golden hoop stick, the old monk would have been killed by the stick when he recited the mantra. The golden hoop is tightened inch by inch, and the pain is not the head, but the heart. He can crush those monsters with one finger and pretend that he can't beat them to get close to her. Sometimes when the south wind blows, Bajie asks him why he is crying. He says that the fireworks smoked 500 years ago made his eyes hurt. 2. Friar Sand: "Second Brother, do you still miss Lan Xiu in Gaolaozhuang?" Bajie looked at the back of the man who carried the golden hoop and shook his head. Wukong: "Master, come back to Huaguoshan with me after you learn the scriptures." Tang Priest: "Wukong, do you think we are just going to learn from the scriptures? If you are a teacher, you must talk about Buddha with the Tathagata all night. " I blushed at this, but I don't know when, and the one opposite the white one was already in tears. Supplement: 3. Because this man once saved him, in order to repay his kindness, stick with him; Tolerate his small temper and unreasonable troubles, and use his body to block disasters for him; When a man listens to gossip and drives him away, he never cries. I don't know when this feeling turned into love, perhaps because the man stayed up all night sewing new clothes for him, or because of his kind personality. But I still love men and call myself Wukong. Xu Xian stood in front of the Leifeng Tower and said sadly, "Fahai, you bald donkey, put my wife under this tower and let us part!" What is the reason? Before Fahai could speak, Empress White Snake whispered in the tower, "I want to get a jumper in Hangzhou." . Can't I count on your salary? "5. Er Kang hugged Yong Qi and couldn't stop crying. "Qi, I promise you, I don't want my crape myrtle, and you don't want your swallow! Let's fly together, go to the ends of the earth, go to the cat's paw ... "Yongqi was half lying in Erkang's arms, breathing deeply. You, why didn't you say so earlier? If you said so, I wouldn't have shot that swallow in the paddock ... "6. The man stood at the door with fruit: "Hello, Aunt, I am your son's boyfriend. "The child's father! Come out! " After that, I couldn't fall to the ground any more ... The father of the child who heard the sound stopped at the moment he saw him ... After a long time, he said, "After so many years, your taste has changed." The man smiled bitterly: "I said, I want to be your family." The child who just got up fell down again ... 7. She met him who was lovelorn and drunk on a rainy night and fell in love with him without hesitation. She cooks for him, washes clothes and takes care of the big and small affairs at home, but he always just looks at her faintly. Finally one day, he said to her: Don't come again, I love men. She looked shocked, threw him on the bed and said, damn it! If you didn't tell me earlier, I would pretend to be a crazy woman! 8. He kissed his waist all the way along the curve of the teenager under him. Break the crotch flap with both hands. I licked the folds of the chrysanthemum twice and said, "honey, you are so beautiful, even here smells good." . "Then take a deep breath, memorable. The little man below him grabbed the sheets on both sides with a trembling voice. . "Don't. . Stop licking, the leek I ate last night still has diarrhea. 9. "You can hate me, but the child in this belly is innocent! Although I don't know if it's yours or your brother's, my sister had a miscarriage, and now she is pregnant with the only offspring of your old X family! It is impossible for me to be with your father, and my mother is willing to give up you to help us. How can you leave me? " 10. He is seldom late for the chess match scheduled every week. He looked at him with a strange look and asked nothing. Suddenly he said, "My son just said he would go to Holland to marry your son, and I agreed." He paused a little and nodded. After playing chess, both of them sat still. After a long silence, he sighed softly, "If we had been brave, nothing would have happened to these boys." He smiled: "Shine on you." 1 1. When the child is brought to him, he knows that this life is not for him, but for him. He stood facing the sea, protecting him and the world behind him, even blocking his knife in troubled times. Everyone knows that he cares about him most, but he knows that he is the commander of the garrison. He held back his thoughts until one day the man said, I've been growing up, and I just want to be closer to you ... and be my Eighth Ring Road, Tianjin. 12. Sweet and sour pork ribs on Monday, kidney porridge on Tuesday, fried belly with green peppers on Wednesday, steamed meat with dried vegetables on Thursday, fried noodles with bone soup on Friday and braised large intestine on Saturday. Sunday ... Sunday I finally finished eating you. Honey, we can be together forever. 13. A week before the wedding, the girl took his photo and found a numerologist. "I don't know how much you love the person in the photo, but after seven days, the person closest to him will die because of him. I advise you to leave him. " The numerologist said. Impossible, even if I die, I will be his bride. The girl has been confirmed. Seven days later, the wedding was held as scheduled, and in the middle of the wedding reception, the chandelier of the hotel was loose-the best man pushed the groom away. After dinner. Mom: "When are you going to get married?" Big sister: "When I find the right man." Mom: "What do you want?" Big sister: "I got a kitchen in the hall, a house, a car and an eight-figure deposit." I don't spend money outside, I am the oldest in my family, and I feel good with a little muscle. " Brother is frightened: "Sister, you can't leave my man alone!" " ! ! ! ! ! "15." Honey, did you watch the news? ""no, why? " "NASA said there were aliens." "Fake news came before the press conference." "I'm afraid that they will take me away and let me have an alien baby over and over again." "Can you be a big man?" "They are so advanced, will let me live. 16. I sat on the bed and looked at the man in front of me. I'm scared. I can't do it today. This is my period. The man unbuttoned his shirt, leaned down and said with a straight face, cut the crap! ... begging ... asshole! Afterwards, the man was smoking by the bed, and I lay on the pillow and said weakly, hey, tell you something, I seem to be pregnant. Male squint: Didn't you say it was a period? I froze: er ... the man cut off the cigarette butt, turned his head and said mercilessly: I won't kill you if you pretend to be a woman again! 17. In the hospital, old acquaintances met and both of them were pregnant. "Long time no see! ""Mm-hmm, are you pregnant, too? " "hmm!" After the check-up, they had lunch together. "A boy?" "well! What about you? " "It's also a boy!" In a short time, the two men looked at each other, their blood boiling, high-five each other and became in-laws. In a family, the man asked the panting man lying in bed, "Where's your wife?" "I went to the physical examination, yours!" "What a coincidence! "18." Brother, marry me! "bang!" What are you talking about! ""I'm serious, marry me! " "Get out of here! I will marry your sister-in-law soon. " "But brother, when you slept with me last night, you said you would marry me, well! "Mother stuck her head out of the kitchen." You are only five years old, and you know what marriage is! Wash your hands and eat quickly! 19. He kicked the office door angrily. Your brother kidnapped my brother! "The handsome guy looked up from the file when he heard the sound, and the eyes behind the camera glanced at him faintly." Can I give you a brother back? "20." Brother, am I really your brother? ""Yes, we saw each other from the moment we opened our eyes. We traveled around the world through time and space, and the universe never separated. " "But our hair, eyes and skin are all different colors." "That doesn't mean anything, our names are * * *. Have you forgotten what they called us? " "I remember, that's Haier brothers, brothers. "2 1." I heard that you have been close to the goods next door recently? "He surrounded him from behind, put his arms around his waist with one hand and unbuttoned his buttons with the other, and the warm breath brushed behind his ears." That's enough. Will you stop pretending to attack? ""why can't I attack! " Pushed down, he once again saw his gentle and dangerous smile "because, from thousands of years ago, they all called us Suzhou and Hangzhou, not Hangzhou and Suzhou." "Do you understand?" 22. Ten years ago, he asked him, "Teacher, can I love you?" He laughed: "silly child, you are still young." 10 years later, he grew up and got married, gave a gift, but no one arrived. Twenty years later, when he learned that he died of illness and took his wife to his funeral, he realized that he had never been married. Thirty years later, when he moved, he accidentally found his childhood exercise book. On the last page, there is a striking sentence: but I am willing to wait for you to grow up. 23. "Ding Dong-""Sir, your courier has arrived." The man took the courier without saying anything. He opened it. That's a box. "Please try it on for me." The courier was a little dumbfounded, but he took the ring and put it on the other side silently. "I do." .................................................................................................................................................................................. men laugh at it. 24. "ah. . Be gentle! " The man didn't speak, his brow wrinkled slightly, and thin sweat oozed from his forehead. Come on ... it hurts, and be good ... be patient. The man lowered his head, put his finger to his mouth and kissed it gently. "Ah. . Jung Yunho! You fucking ... do you know compassion! " "Kim Jae Jung, you are excited!" Outside ... Shen Changmin walked past with all kinds of contempt ... and pulled out the barb ... As for Yao ... 25. You see, the society has become open now, and there are many * * stories on # micro novel #. Although this is fiction, it can show that many people no longer regard us as insane. Shall I read some to you? I am too old. I am looking for glasses. Well, if we were born a few years later and caught up with this time, wouldn't you jump off a building? But thanks to the underdeveloped communication in the past, I was able to steal you and support you for 30 years. 26. A man with a baby in his arms looks embarrassed; His face was slightly red and his hands trembled uncontrollably. "Wow-"A baby didn't know why, but the man suddenly panicked as soon as he made a noise. "Why are you crying? Hungry? Wet? Ah, doesn't he like me? " A pair of strong arms surround him and the baby, and their foreheads are offset. "Calm down, you will be the mother of the child from today!" 27. "Mom, why does the story end with the prince and princess happily together?" "Because the prince fell in love with the knight around the princess, only when he married the princess can he always see the knight!" "Isn't that princess unfortunate?" "No, she feels very happy!" "Why?" "Because the princess is a rotten girl!" After torturing each other for several years, his mother finally accepted the fact that he came out. In order to let him settle down early, he introduced a good man and arranged a blind date. He just sat down and talked for a few words before he wanted to leave. So he secretly said to the other party: "In fact, my mother is a rotten girl, and she forced me to come. I like women ... "Hearing this, the other party shook his hand excitedly," Great! I like straight men! " 29. "Evil animals!" Long Yan was furious, and his hands trembled in the dragon chair. "Emperor Amal ..." "Emperor ..." A couple plopped down on their knees in the cold hall. "My favorite commanding general, I am bent on inheriting the throne from his prince, but today he told me that he has vowed to love Yue Bai forever?" Shaking his body, he suddenly sat down on the dragon chair. "How do you ... hurry, Emperor Amar! Xuan taiyi! ! Amal's water broke. 30. It's time for implementation. The boy and the girl were tied to a stake, watching helplessly the blazing fire just under them. Their hands were clenched, and their hearts were sweet and scared. The dark crowd around shouted, "burn the opposite sex dog men and women, burn them!" "The girl sobbed," When did the world become like this? " The boy said gloomily, "Since the miniature novel competition was held." 3 1. Zhou Yu passed by the kitchen and saw Xiao Qiao returning to the tent and thinking about drugging the wine. He found a note under his pillow: when he was outside the camp tonight, he saw Yu angry, but Xiao Qiao brought a wine glass while he turned to pour the wine. When he heard the noise around him, he wanted to get up and catch the rape. Suddenly, he heard a voice outside the curtain: I have finished what you told me. "Thank you, madam." "I added some flattering drugs that might help you ... My face turned red and I hurried in. Why are they all rotten? " "Like what?" Friendship? "It will become love." "suspense?" "The original male 1 love male 2." "Officialdom?" "Male 1 is corrupt for male 2." "Murder?" "Man 1 Kill Man 2 and stay with him forever." "... yes! Family! ""isn't it more KB for father and son to fight? " "... forget it ... who will attack us today? "33." The college didn't wait for you, but they forced me to get married. Brother Liang, although we were born in different schools, we should die in the same cave! I will never leave you in this life! " At some point, he jumped into the grave in his wedding dress, and suddenly there was a thunderstorm in winter and a rain and snow in summer. After the clouds opened and the rain dispersed, he really turned into a pair of beautiful and lingering butterflies. People are crying. I only heard a hiss from the wedding sedan chair: "Ma Wencai, you are so ungrateful to me!"