Funny and interesting true historical story.

First of all, Emperor Wu wanted to kill the wet nurse, and the wet nurse turned to Dong Fangshuo for help. Dong Fangshuo said, "The emperor is cruel and stubborn, and others intercede, but you die faster.

If the emperor wants to execute you, remember to look back at me, and I will find a way to anger the emperor.

The wet nurse did as Dong Fangshuo said, and Dong Fangshuo said to the wet nurse beside Emperor Wu, "Go quickly. Now that the emperor has grown up, how can you miss the kindness of breastfeeding when you were a child? " The emperor felt very sad, so he stopped talking about killing the wet nurse.

Second, the bus made Lu Feng thin, and he never saw the emperor again. Dong Fangshuo was very dissatisfied.

In order to get Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty to summon himself as soon as possible, he deliberately frightened a few dwarfs who raised horses for the emperor: "The emperor said that you people can neither farm nor fight, and you have no talent for governing the country and ensuring peace, so you will be killed.

You still don't hurry to beg the emperor! The dwarfs were so scared that they cried and begged the emperor for mercy.

When Emperor Wu asked why, he called Dong Fangshuo to ask.

Dong Fangshuo finally had a chance to face the emperor directly.

He said humorously, "I did it because I had to."

Zhu Ru is 3 feet tall and I am 9 feet tall, but I earn as much as Dai Lu. I can't support them to death, starve to death! If your majesty doesn't want to reuse me, let me go home. I don't want to waste any more white rice in Beijing.

"Dong Fangshuo quips, make Liang Wudi laugh, so he was appointed assistant minister of Jinmamen, and soon he was promoted to assistant minister and left and right attendants.

Third, Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty was overjoyed and liked to sing praises to his men.

On one occasion, Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty asked, "What kind of monarch does Mr. Wang think Lian is?" Dong Fangshuo replied, "The Sage Family has more merits than the Three Emperors and Five Emperors. Otherwise, how could so many sages help you? For example, Shao came to be prime minister, to be an empire doctor, and to be a general, Jiang Ziya ... "Dong Fangshuo called 32 ancient politicians ministers of Emperor Wu of Han Dynasty in one breath.

His language is cynical, but he puts on a funny face, which makes Emperor Wu want to hate and smile through tears. He hates while laughing, and really feels that he is not as good as the holy king.

More questions and answers? Ask close questions

I really don't think this is funny! !

Answer 1. Clever understanding of "old man"

Ji Xiaolan is brilliant and sophisticated, but he is slovenly and often disheveled when working in hot weather.

One day, Ji Xiaolan was working in the army with bare arms when he suddenly heard a report from his subordinates: "The Emperor is here".

Ji Xiaolan was afraid of blasphemy with bare arms, but it was too late to get dressed. In desperation, he had to get under the table.

Emperor Qianlong had already seen everything in his eyes.

He sat down in the chair calmly and calmly.

Ji Xiaolan hid under the table, panting and sweating.

After an hour, he couldn't hear anything, so he got up the courage and asked, "Is the old man gone?" When Emperor Qianlong heard this, he asked sharply with a straight face, "Good Ji Xiaolan, what do you mean by calling me an old man without taking a bus?"

Ji Xiaolan hurriedly kowtowed and explained, "Longevity is called old age, and indomitable spirit is called head. As for the son, the emperor is the son of heaven. This is what the old man meant.

"

Emperor Qianlong turned anger into joy, smiled smugly and pardoned Ji Xiaolan.

Second, Ji Xiaolan quips.

As a teenager, Ji Xiaolan was brilliant.

Once, he and his friends were playing ball in the street.

It happened that the official passed by in a sedan chair.

Carelessly, the ball was thrown into the car.

The children looked at each other and didn't know what to do.

Ji Xiaolan summoned up the courage to beg for the ball.

Government officials laughed at the first couplet. "There are six or seven boys, but you are very cunning.

"Let Ji Xiaolan to bottom allied.

If you are right, give him back the ball.

Ji Xiaolan thought to himself, "The satrap has two thousand burdens, and the duke is the only one ..."

"Why don't you finish?" The official asked.

"If you give me the ball back, it's a monopoly on honesty or greed.

"Government officials have to return the ball to Ji Xiaolan again.

Little friends sincerely admire this clever child.

Third, every straw bag

Qing dynasty minister, Kun greedy.

Once he built a new bamboo garden, knowing that Mo Bao in Ji Xiaolan was precious, he asked him to write a pavilion.

After a little thinking, Ji Xiaolan wrote "Bamboo Bud" on the paper.

He Kun quickly asked craftsmen to carve plaques and hang them on the pavilion.

One day, Emperor Qianlong came to the garden and saw a plaque of "Bamboo Bud" on the pavilion. He couldn't help laughing.

Kun laughed with him. Unexpectedly, the emperor said, "What a Ji Xiaolan.

This word "bamboo bud" is a straw bag when disassembled! "

I mean the funny story after listening, but thank you! !