Have you ever experienced a wedding custom that you can't stand at the wedding?

I am a wedding host, working for nearly 8 years. I have presided over more than 100000+ weddings. Uh, wait a minute. No. Let me count, 123 ... Well, I'm sorry, I've read more than 10000 articles from the media, and I've been thinking about it.

As a wedding person, it is impossible to expect to preside over more than 100000+, but # wedding #

# Wedding Host # # Outdoor Wedding # # Wedding Scene # # Wedding Preparation Raiders #

There are weddings above 1000+.

If you host more weddings, you will encounter many wonderful things. Today, let's talk about marriage, about the past life of marriage.

Let's start with science. What is marriage? Why do you have the custom of quarreling about marriage?

Marriage is an aspect of the traditional marriage custom in China. Typical representatives, such as "disturbing the bridal chamber", "disturbing the bridal chamber", "er" and "disturbing the bridal chamber", are just one point we want to explain. At the beginning, the marriage we talked about was basically limited to the bridal chamber. Only with the development of the times, some other forms of marriage struggle appeared. Some behaviors, such as disturbing the groom, bride, groomsman, bridesmaid, parents and even immoral, affect the social atmosphere. What's more, some people who make trouble in marriage even wander on the edge of the law, leading to lawsuits and even death, and so on.

Here comes the problem. As we all know, China has always been called "the state of etiquette".

Thus, China has always attached great importance to etiquette, and etiquette culture has also promoted the development of Chinese civilization. Then, why is there a kind of marriage custom that is controversial and criticized by future generations?

This will start with the wedding form of our nation.

In other words, the wedding is an important event of China people's inheritance and family reproduction, and we all attach great importance to it. Therefore, the wedding must strictly follow a series of processes. So, what is the process that needs to be taken?

It is clearly written in the Book of Rites, that is, winning the lottery, asking names, Najib, recruiting soldiers, inviting parties and meeting them in person. What do you mean?

Translate it

Nacai: The man entrusted the matchmaker to propose marriage to the woman's house, and the woman agreed. The man brings a gift to the woman's house to propose marriage;

Ask the name: commonly known as changing the eight characters. Parents above men and women write down the names and birth dates of their two children and give them to each other for good or bad fortune telling.

Najib: After being divined by a fortune teller, there is no problem. The two sides got engaged and exchanged marriage certificates.

Conscription: After the woman gets married, the man should give her a bride price.

Invitation: Both men and women decide the date of marriage.

Kissing: wedding, marrying a wife.

Through this process, we can see that the bride and groom basically have nothing from preparation to admission. It is entirely the parents' orders, and the matchmaker's words are blind marriage and dumb marriage for the couple. The bride and groom have no contact before marriage, are unfamiliar with each other and have no emotional foundation, so it is inevitable that the wedding night will be embarrassing and embarrass each other. In order to improve this situation, the custom of disturbing the bridal chamber came into being. The purpose is to make the couple feel dependent and familiar through some fun games, so as to help the bride and groom overcome their strangeness and enter the role of husband and wife more quickly.

In addition, there is a saying that the sub-stars descend to earth to guide the guests to play and joke, so as to drive away the dirty things and unlucky monsters in the bridal chamber and protect the newcomers.

Moreover, there are also some places that the existence of marriage disputes is also related to the ancient system of robbing relatives. This view is relatively small, but I will repeat it here.

However, whatever the reason, most of the wedding customs in the bridal chamber are expressed in good faith at first, which is essentially different from all kinds of radical marriage forms in later generations.

The Development and Manifestation of Modern Marriage Conflict

With the development of the times, marriage disputes have evolved into many new forms, which will have different manifestations in different regions and regions with different levels of economic development. See the following figure for details:

In my impression, the hot events related to marriage in the entertainment circle should be regarded as the events of Bao Beier, Han Geng, Huang Zulin and Du Haitao bridesmaid Ada at the Bao Beier wedding in 20 16. Although afterwards, several parties expressed their views and apologized one after another. However, as a star with certain public influence, the behavior of bridesmaids is indeed somewhat inappropriate, which has a bad influence on the public.

I won't discuss all kinds of right and wrong here, but at least from this point, we can see that the phenomenon of marriage is still very marketable, at least in the hearts of quite a few people.

Stars are still like this, and the general public is inevitably vulgar. As an 8-year-old wedding host, many years of wedding hosting career, of course, can not avoid encountering all kinds of wonderful wedding events. Let's take stock one by one.

Have trouble with the groom

I think it was three or four years ago. I often go to Ruyang area for weddings. Usually in the process of picking up the bride. (Before, in my other article "Preparation before marriage, it is difficult for your wedding to go smoothly", I talked about some basic processes of picking up the bride. Those who are interested can go and have a look. There is a link at the end of the article. After the groom takes the bride back to her new house, after the ceremony, the average family will tacitly avoid it for a period of time. A group of friends of the groom, when they grew up, began to tidy up their rooms in the new house. Ladies, brides and girlfriends can go to the hotel first.

Then, in the new house, several brothers stripped the groom naked. Of course, they usually keep a pair of underwear and play in different ways. In my impression, the most outrageous time, several brothers were holding candles and scissors ... well, 500 words were omitted here.

Finally, if it was not considered that the ceremony time at noon could not be delayed, several buddies gave up. In short, that time was an eye-opener for me. After careful consideration, I think the scale is too large. In order to avoid unnecessary trouble, I dare not upload it to the network, but I deleted it in the end.

Some friends may be bursting with a sense of justice and ask: What does your host do? Since you are here, there is still time to record a small video, why not stop it? !

Yeah, that's right Ok, apply Baidu's slogan: friends circle, and you will know by taking a screenshot.

That's the truth. At that time, the groom's brothers were tall, and the six parents denied it. Although unfamiliar, the host still did not discuss it! ! Of course, the scale will definitely be smaller. ...

Some netizens will say, even so, you should stick to the principle? ! how can ...

All right, brother. You're right, I worship you. Come on, you can do the work. ...

-this is also the host.

Have trouble with the bride

To tell the truth, I have presided over so many weddings, but I haven't really met many. At least there are not many in Henan. I think the reason is easy to understand. As a brother and groom, it's not bad to joke with yourself and provoke the eldest sister-in-law.

At best, before the bride takes over the new house and gets off the bus to worship the world, there is a saying in some areas that means "driving away the three evils" (what is the "three evils"? Black-bone chicken, green cow and green sheep), how to do it? Take a pot of whole grains and sprinkle it on the bride to add blessings and exorcise evil spirits. (In terms of folklore, write an article to introduce it next time. Some people will go too far here and add some spices and flour to the whole grains. I won't go into details.

Of course, outside Henan, there are related bad habits that disturb the bride. For example, a video popular in a circle of friends some time ago, in a hotel in Yancheng, Jiangsu, my father-in-law actually kissed my daughter-in-law at the ceremony; This is a typical immoral behavior, which seriously affects the social atmosphere. This incident naturally triggered unanimous condemnation from online netizens.

bridesmaid

This can be said to be the hardest hit by marriage in the past two years. The bridesmaid incident at the Bao Beier wedding mentioned above can be seen.

When it comes to bridesmaids, it is inevitable to talk about Ruyang area (of course, there has been a lot of progress in recent years). In recent years, there are very few bridesmaids who go to Ruyang to preside over the wedding, and basically there are very few bridesmaids, that is, during the wedding process, the couple are not equipped with bridesmaids-no one wants to be bridesmaids. Bridesmaids have become high-risk occupations. Even in the circle of friends and WeChat group, there are cases of renting bridesmaids.

Bridesmaids are usually concentrated in the woman's house. After the groom and brother knock on the bride's boudoir door, especially when looking for shoes, it is easy to push and pull, and some unruly people will grope and scratch. Of course, the incident of "indecent assault on bridesmaids in Tai 'an, Shandong Province" disclosed on the Internet is not a simple marriage quarrel, but has seriously risen to civil and even criminal cases. Later, several parties each had "dividends" and were sentenced to 1 ~ 3 years in prison, which was also self-inflicted, which made people happy.

Have trouble with your parents

Most of them occur in some economically underdeveloped areas and some special customs areas. Generally speaking, trouble takes the form of painting on the faces of Xi's father-in-law and Xi's mother-in-law with shoe polish. For example, let the groom's parents parade through the city in strange clothes, or force their parents and daughter-in-law to do some sexual suggestive behaviors that violate ethics and morality. In this regard, the author's greatest feeling is that this is clearly the name of customs and the reality of bad customs. Extremely vulgar and disgusting.

The famous director Ang Lee hit the nail on the head when commenting on this marital conflict. "This phenomenon is a concentrated outbreak of sexual repression in China for five thousand years." . At this stage, the so-called marital quarrel is actually obscenity and sexual assault in disguise. The so-called China traditional culture is irrelevant.

As a practitioner in the wedding industry, of course, we must first strongly resist bad customs and positively guide and publicize a good wedding atmosphere; As a party, the bride and groom should clearly inform the relevant relatives and friends attending the wedding, refuse the wedding and resolutely say no to the wedding!

With the improvement of people's material and cultural living standards in recent years, coupled with the constraints of relevant government departments and the introduction of relevant laws, regulations and policies, the phenomenon of marriage disputes has become less and less, and weddings are gradually returning to the essence, such as Chinese weddings, Western weddings, lawn weddings and overseas destination weddings. They are solemn and solemn, full of ritual, or relaxed and comfortable, full of happiness.

As practitioners in the wedding industry, we are responsible for carrying forward and inheriting the traditional wedding custom culture in China. We sincerely hope that this industry can develop healthily and healthily.