Humorous short plays by three people

The best-selling opportunity of the author of the funny sketch "Whispers of Three People"

Scene: Under a big tree.

Props: big tree cardboard.

Appearance: Miss Li. Mr. He. Mr. Yu.

Appear-

It was raining heavily outside, and suddenly three people came running. Two men and one woman ran to a big tree to hide from the rain.

Three strangers stood under the same tree, watching the rainy day and wondering when it would stop.

Miss Li complained, alas, it was fine just now. Why did it suddenly rain? But my clothes are all wet and even my shoes are dirty. I feel so cold! Is winter coming? I haven't had time to prepare a cotton-padded jacket. ...

Mr. He looked at the rainy day and said, What is this weather? What kind of rain is this? What terrible weather! Look at me. I'm wearing the new clothes I just bought. This is a famous brand. Have you ever heard of it? It's just a small apple. How expensive!

Mr. Yu: Look at the weather. How long will it last? How come it started to rain as soon as I got home from work, halfway, and it happened at this time, hehe, even pregnant women don't know when to give birth. This rainy day is really the right time!

Miss Li: It's raining hard! It's not the next night, is it? Oh, it's over, it's over! It's really over! What should I do? What the hell should we do? It's hopeless! It's really hopeless

Mr. He was also shocked: What? What's finished? There won't be a flood, will there? This ..... this will drown us, alas, I am water blind!

Mr. Yu said disapprovingly, what's the matter? Send it, let it send it, even if it is a raging torrent, I am not afraid. I'm afraid I can't go home under the tree on this rainy day. Now that I am well, I will swim home with the flood. I can go home in a few minutes.

Miss Li, standing among the three people, said, You have all gone home. What about me? You can swim home, and then I ... I can only climb, I can climb trees, but now I regret not being a monkey earlier. I used to look down on monkeys and always thought that this monkey was a natural exhibitionist wherever he went. Anyway, I always think his red ass is exposed in public, so I said, why can't he put on pants for himself? Otherwise, it is ok to put on diapers. This stuff is all over the street! If not, you can pick some leaves from the tree to hide the monkey's privacy. I don't know how embarrassing it is! Really, what a pity!

Mr. He: Did you let the monkey get dressed? Is that a person? That's a monkey. You want monkeys to wear clothes unless they evolve into humans. Hehe, I don't know how many hundred million years it will take. How far is it!

Mr. Yu said to Miss Li and Mr. He: Under the same roof, it seems that we are a family!

Teacher Li said, well, I don't know you two; How did you two suddenly become my family? Just because you are hiding under the same big tree, you can't recognize your relatives on the spot, and whoever you catch is who you are. How can there be such a truth in the world? I can tell you that I am an unmarried young woman, so you two big men must not play with me!

Mr. He leaned close to Miss Li's ear and said, Don't worry, I have a family, of course I can't play your mind!

Miss Li is relieved: that's good! So I'm relieved!

Mr. He then whispered: But not now, I think it should be soon. Whether I can get married or not depends on you!

Miss Li: Aren't you talking nonsense? What do you mean, it's the same as not telling? How did it happen to me?

Mr. Yu saw the two of them whispering, so he put his ear together and didn't know what they were whispering about.

Mr. He leaned close to Miss Li's ear and said, Have pity on me. I just got dumped by my girlfriend yesterday, and left me on the spot when I had money. I've been alone for half my life. As long as I think that I am the only one who dies alone, how can I be ashamed! How do I feel! Might as well jump into the sea. What about the sea? Where is the sea? I want to jump into the sea! I don't want to live!

Mr. Yu only thought that Mr. He was going to jump into the sea, so he said, don't worry, it's raining, wait patiently for a while, the sea is coming!

Miss Li glared at Mr. Yu: Where did you get the sea? Is that the sea? Is there anyone who wants the sea as much as you do?

Mr. Yu: Don't think that I can't hear you just because you two are whispering. Didn't he just say he was going to jump into the sea? There is no ready-made sea, can we jump into the river? After a while, it will be the river, so it will be easy. Anyway, you will definitely drown in less than half an hour. Don't worry, no one will stop you!

Teacher Li said to Mr. Yu, are you stupid? I just lost my love. Can't you say something nice?

Mr. Yu: Why should I put in a good word? I'm not his girlfriend and I didn't dump him. Didn't he just say he was going to die?

Mr. He immediately hugged Miss Li and said, We can't be born on the same day in the same year, but I hope to die on the same day in the same year!

Miss Li immediately broke free from his hand and said in surprise, Mom, you'd better jump into the sea alone! Don't hug me, I can't die with you on the same day, and I didn't sign a life and death contract with you!

Mr. He is also excited: it is ok to get married in Taoyuan. I miss Liu Bei, Guan Yu and Zhang Fei. Although the surnames are different, since we are brothers, we need Qi Xin to help the poor. Serve your country, rest in peace. I don't want to be born on the same day in the same year, I just want to die on the same day in the same year After heaven and earth, learn this heart, be ungrateful and kill heaven and man!

Mr. Yu leaned close to Miss Li's ear and said, Is this man sick? One minute we will die, the next we will swear, and the next we will travel through time and space. Who knows what era we will be thrown into?

Miss Li smiled strongly at Mr. He: Hee hee, this gentleman must have forgotten to take his medicine. Don't worry, we will never discriminate against mental patients! Well, we are all good people. You must be busy after work. You forgot to take your medicine for a while. Take it out before it's too late. Take the medicine before your mental illness recurs, and we also hope that you will recover from mental illness as soon as possible!

Mr. Yu leaned close to Miss Li's ear and said, Look at him. His face was pale, his eyes were sunken, his lips were bloodless, his eyes were glassy and his hands were shaking. It is simply a symptom before the onset of mental patients! Look, it's starting to change, a little bit. What should I do?

Miss Li whispered to Mr. Yu, how do you know? Does your mother have one? You don't have a family psychosis, do you?

Yu Minhong: My mother did ... My mother didn't, but no one in my family did! Look at me, how normal I am, more normal than normal people, what is my life? I live forever for thousands of years, I am immortal, I am the embodiment of bodhisattva, and I am still ...

Mr. He heard everything: OK, OK, if you go on like this, you will be mentally ill! Is that a person? Is there such a person in the world? Living for a thousand years and not dying, that's a monster! With your virtue, you are still the incarnation of the Bodhisattva. Then why did you come here instead of staying in Elysium? Who said I was mentally ill? Who is it, you (pointing to Miss Li) or you (pointing to Mr. Yu)? We don't know each other. Why do you speak ill of me for no reason? That's wicked. I can't wait for that person who speaks ill of me to have an ulcer in his mouth for life!

Miss Li pretended to smile and said, Not me! I didn't say that! (pointing to Mr. Yu) He said it! How dare I speak ill of you? Oh, let's see how handsome this handsome guy is. Look at his good looks. He is the best of the jade emperors!

Being praised by Miss Li, Mr. He immediately assumed an unattainable posture, with his hands akimbo and his eyes fixed on them.

Teacher Yu doesn't like: A handsome man ... is Wu Dalang!

Miss Li leaned close to Yu Xiansheng's ear and said, I think it's Wu Dalang, too. I'm afraid I'm not even as good as Takejiro, but I dare not say it to my face!

Mr. Yu leaned close to Miss Li's ear and said, What are you afraid of? Why are we afraid of him? How long can Wu Can Dalang live? He was finally murdered by Ximen Qing and Pan Jinlian. Why are you afraid of him?

Miss Li leaned close to Yu Xiansheng's ear and said, After hearing what you said, why do I think we are Pan Jinlian and Ximen Qing? Are we repeating the historical story in the book? This is not a movie, and no one asked us to act. Why are we so involved?

Seeing the two of them whispering, Mr. He pretended to cough and said, ahem … ahem … ahem …

Mr. Yu leaned close to Miss Li's ear and said, What do you think we should do with him? With the joint efforts of the two of us, we can definitely put him down in one minute, that is, using rat poison can solve our lives in one minute!

Miss Li leaned close to Yu Xiansheng's ear and said, Rat poison is used to deal with rats. Look at his mouse eyes! I'll leave it to you, and I'm sure you can do it!

Seeing that the two of them simply ignored him, Mr. He pretended to cough and said, ahem … ahem … ahem …

Mr. Yu: What? I'm not rat poison. How strange! Say, what are we doing? Why do we feel as if we are planning a premeditated murder plan? We don't know him. When did he become our enemy?

Miss Li: Maybe I've watched the Water Margin too much recently! How dramatic! (Laughing at Mr. He again) Stop coughing. Look at your failure, you will cough and bleed! Okay, okay, I'm coughing up my lungs!

Mr. He: I said, what are you whispering about? People who are too close to know think you are planning a murder?

Mr. Yu denied: No! Don't! Absolutely not!

Miss Li denied: No! Don't! Absolutely not!

Mr. Yu said casually: Really not! Is it? Where do we have it? Look at you, thinking too much!

Teacher Li casually said, yes! You are so suspicious!

Mr. He doesn't believe me. Is it? The more negative this is, the more likely it is to be true!

Yu Xiansheng: We don't know anyone. We don't even know their names. Why should we hurt you? We are all family, we should love each other, not in the palace, and be suspicious of each other, not for the sake of the throne!

At this time, the heavy rain turned into a light rain, and it seems that it will stop soon.

Miss Li looked at the rainy day and said, Mom, I was saved again. There's less rain, so you can go home soon!

Mr. He also looked at the rainy day and said, Dad, I am alive again. I am looking forward to it. Let Grandpa Sun take me home!

Mr. Yu also looked at the rainy day and said, Grandpa, I finally got my life back. I'm … I'm hungry now!

Miss Li: The rain has stopped and I am finally liberated. This is the day of my new life!

Mr. He: Shake hands! Shake hands!

Mr. Yu: Goodbye, Liu Bei, Guan Yu and Zhang Fei!

Miss Li: Goodbye, Wu Dalang! Goodbye, Takejiro!

(End)