Wei Zi community Garfield

This should be a psychological reason. Someone wrote the corresponding article a long time ago, and then you can read it and give targeted counseling.

From the mirror, we can see ourselves, and everything is a mirror in our heart.

A few nights ago, my girlfriend and I took our white Garfield Xiaobai for a walk in the community. It is only five months old. It looks lovely. Everyone likes it. Children can't help coming forward to greet or touch it.

However, a teenage girl exclaimed after seeing Xiaobai two meters away. It seems that she is full of fear for Xiao Bai.

I quickly picked Xiao Bai up from the ground and smiled at her, indicating that she should not be afraid.

When I turned away, I remembered some friends who were afraid of pets. Some friends are afraid of dogs. The smaller the dog, the more afraid she is, but she is not afraid of big dogs. Some friends are afraid of cats, but they don't remember being attacked by cats;

It is surprising enough that a teenage girl is afraid of a pet cat that looks docile, but why are my adult friends afraid of small pets?

The answer is that they are afraid.

My friend and this little girl have one similarity. Both of them seem to be very dependent.

Besides, I had a deep chat with my two friends. They know that they are on their own. They don't think it's good. They think it's the only way to win the love of others. So their mood is very contradictory, and they also deliberately don't look at themselves at ordinary times.

However, when the furry little pet suddenly appeared in front of them, the "dependence on me" in my heart seemed to jump dramatically in front of them, forcing them to face it. Their inner feelings are very exclusive to "dependent me", which is projected to the outside world, showing their fear of small animals that seem to be symbols of dependence.

For my friend, I can speculate with considerable certainty, but for that little girl, this is just speculation, because there may be many reasons for being afraid of small animals.

Another common reason is fear of "weak me". Some people's childhood is quite miserable. In their weak infancy, what they get is not love, but rough injuries from their parents and other adults, which makes them hide a "tortured weak child" in their hearts. The more serious the injury, the deeper they may suppress the "I" part, and eventually they seem to forget these experiences.

However, at the sight of weak animals, their "tortured weak children" will be aroused. Arouse the painful experience first, and then project these experiences on these small animals, so that they can pretend to be "sadistic adults", thus generating an irresistible impulse to torture these small animals, just like repeating the experience of being tortured by close adults as a child, except that the previous role is

If you were injured by cats and dogs when you were a child, you might be afraid of cats and dogs, too. However, this kind of worry is more logical. For example, the stronger the attack of cats and dogs, the stronger the fear, and the more similar the body shape of cats and dogs that attack themselves, the stronger the fear.

Seemingly illogical, just because some real reasons have not been found, the set of logic used is mostly self-defense or making excuses at random.

Afraid of spiders is often afraid of controlling mom.

People's fears about animals are varied. The consistent fear is the fear of being attacked, while other fears are often the projection of the repressed "I", which is often symbolic.

Small pets are a symbol of helpless and lovely dependence, and the fear of small pets is mostly a projection of our rejection of our dependence.

Spider web is a symbol of ubiquitous control, and fear of spiders is often a projection of our refusal to control ourselves.

I talked to several people who are afraid of spiders, and finally found that without exception, what they are really afraid of is actually their own mother. Their mother is very controlling and clings to them tightly. She is afraid that they will leave themselves for fear of independence when they grow up, so she uses various methods to limit their independence, such as not letting them associate with others, not letting them study in other places, and having to go home early at night. But, on the other hand, these mothers are also dedicated. They will sacrifice their material and time to be excellent for their children.

Originally, our culture and family style didn't allow children to question their parents' love. If parents really seem to have made great sacrifices, then children can't question their parents, parents don't allow them, extended families don't allow them, society doesn't allow them ... Finally, they don't allow themselves to question themselves.

However, once feelings are created, they will not disappear. A mother with a strong desire for control will bring great trouble to her children, and she will also be rejected. If they are not allowed to consciously express these worries and negative emotions about their mothers, then a lot of such information will be buried in their subconscious, and once they find a breakthrough, they will gush out.

Compare a controlling mother to a spider, and then the subconscious is playing games. It seems to be full of fear of spiders, but it is actually just a symbol of one's life situation.

Moreover, if there is a controlling mother, then a person's heart will inevitably form a specific internal relationship model-"the inner mother who controls everything" and "the inner child who is controlled by everything."

That is to say, although they hate their mother's control when they were young, in other interpersonal relationships, they can easily pretend to be "the inner mother who controls everything", project "the inner child who is controlled everything" to others, and implement all the control skills they learned from their mothers. Therefore, not only mothers are spiders, but they are also spiders themselves. If they don't realize that their mother is a spider, they won't realize that they are a spider.

However, once you see the existence of real spiders, the truth suppressed in the subconscious will be touched at once and expressed in the form of "spider phobia".

Fear of snakes is also common. This has certain practical significance, because the attack power of snakes can be fatal. But if the fear of snakes is neurotic, hysterical and inexplicable, it also reflects its own problems-excessive suppression of instinctive forces such as sex and aggressive desire. On this point, my previous article has made a detailed analysis, so I won't say much here.

Animals can be mirrors, and people can also be mirrors.

At the end of June, I attended a seminar on family institutional arrangements. On the first day, several members were playing Xianglinsao's game, and they all clung to the role of "I am a victim" when seeking treatment. Zheng Lifeng, a Hong Kong therapist who presided over the seminar, didn't play the game of "I really sympathize with you" because Sister Xianglin was used to this game of projection and cognition. As a result, this caused obvious dissatisfaction among these members.

However, the next day, when another member showed the role of "victim" more incisively and vividly, the other two members suddenly understood their own problems, and the emotions accumulated on the first day disappeared immediately and began to make fun of their image of "Sister Xianglin".

The most cruel thing for people who don't want to wake up is to give them a clear mirror and let them see themselves.

Therefore, spiders have become the enemy of arachnophobia patients, and small pets have become the enemy of addicts and those who hate dependence.

For those who are willing to realize, the most valuable thing is to give them a clear mirror and let them see themselves.

However, if you have a keen heart, you will find mirrors everywhere. In fact, what we see in anything is our own projection first.