The movie wisteria

1, Goddess: Do you like sleeping naked? Me: Yes, the naked one! Goddess: How often do you change the sheets? Me: Half a month? Goddess: Then you are not healthy. Goodbye! How can I understand this?

2. The Chinese teacher summed up the reasons why the red almond went out of the wall: 1, the wall was too short, 2, the tree was too high, 3, the wind was too fast.

3. What should I do if I drown in swimming one day? If you want me to kiss you, just say so.

4, the gentleman said that he did not believe in words!

Every winter, the places outside the bed are far away, and the places that the hands can't reach are in other places. Going to the toilet is a business trip.

6. Others laugh that I can't wear it, and I laugh that others wear nothing.

7. Snails run wildly.

8. When school starts, I must make a determined effort and be strong. If it is not for other reasons, because my son asks me for money in the future, I can give it to him generously, and I won't ask my mother for it if I don't say enough.

9. I asked the swallow why you came, and the swallow said, I have always lived in my hometown.

10, studying and taking exams, how excessive, how can there be no trust between people!

1 1, you said my pain with a smile, but I could only laugh. If I get angry, you say I can't afford to joke.

12, three points are doomed, seven points depend on hard work, and ninety points are at the teacher's place.

13, brother is not Baidu, don't ask me everything!

14, there are no birds during the day, and the birds are fine at night.

15, I'm so cute that you don't even notice. I think you may be a pig.

16, I suddenly miss my other half, and I don't know if he has eaten, where he lives and what his name is.

17, Yutu, I'll exchange some moon cakes with you.

18, the sun shines in the sky, and your mother smiles at me * *

I will never forget you. Your promise is as beautiful as a lie.

20. After the exam, the eugenics will say, "Lying in the trough, another mistake!" Poor students will say, "Emma, one more!" "

I am ugly, but I have music and beer.

You taught us not to talk nonsense, but in my eyes, what you said is nonsense!

23. My life is given by the air conditioner.

24, the result of learning the sun, the goddess takes a selfie, the local tyrant has money, the model has a figure, and Laozi goes home for a holiday to bask in the sun!

It's not my fault to steal food, but my mouth is really lonely.

26. No matter how powerful a woman is, she will be crushed by the man she loves.

27. The travel routes that have been planned with great efforts are deleted. . .

28. On Valentine's Day, no one held my hand, so I put it in my pocket.

29. Life is so short, why should the result of an exam affect our mood? Tell me the funniest is better than the funniest.

30. In fact, the girl who shouts to be a single aristocrat has a group of spare tires to protect her.

3 1, don't talk to me about feelings, it will hurt more money!

32. I was pulled out before I could flirt.

She was angry and ran out of the door. He rushed downstairs to stop her and took the door back.

34. Once in the street, I dropped my mobile phone and dropped some coins. Someone next to me said, look at this mobile phone, it's not light, and the phone bill has fallen out.

35. It is suggested that the country replace the chair used in class with a swivel chair that is the same as China's good voice. Students think the teacher speaks well and turn around to listen.

36. I won't attack if people don't attack me. If someone attacks me, I will cry with anger.

37. Give your future mother-in-law a bad review. Delivery is too slow.

38. What makes me hysterical is always other people's stories in movies.

It's not my fault to steal vegetables —— Talking about spoofing QQ emotions

My principle is: if people don't attack me, I won't attack; If someone attacks me, I will be angry.

All winds that don't aim at snowing are hooligans!

Even if my heart is the liver and lungs of a donkey, it is enough to feed the dog's stomach.

It turns out that Nicholas Tse waited so long to divorce Cecilia Cheung. It turns out that he is waiting for the new marriage law.

In the morning, I saw a car on the road, and a sign was posted on the back of the car, which read: Driving school is withdrawn, self-study.

In class, a man sent a note to Russia. After reading the content, I want to beat him up. It said: Are you there?

Altman is the richest man in the world because ATM is written on the ATM.

Women always say that good men are very, very hard to find. According to this logic, the best person in the history of the world is bin Laden.

Who is the future girlfriend I am in love with now?

Amen, I was bitten by a strange bug in my stomach and the cow poked me.

I often tell myself not to hang myself in a tree, and as a result … I got lost in the forest.

It is said that people in love have zero IQ, but I think married men have negative IQ!

One day I must go to Skynet, finish my homework and see what they say about me. Please God give me a pair of eyes that are not bad. ...

I want to see you talk, but why do you bury your face in your ass? ... oh? Sorry, I didn't know it was your face. What about your ass?

You can live like a pig, but you can never be as happy as a pig!

△ I suddenly found that Newton was good at giving force: tension, buoyancy, thrust, friction, gravity, pressure, resistance and support.

My son came home trembling: "Dad, I only got 60 points in the exam today." Dad is very angry: "Don't call me dad next time you fail the exam!" " "The next day, my son came back:" I'm sorry, brother! " "

Since both prostitutes claim to be graduates of famous universities, I now generally claim to be illiterate!

Life is like an angry bird. Every time I fail, there are always a few pigs laughing.

Son of a bitch, we still have a lot to do in this life. Stop wasting your time playing hide-and-seek with me and jump out.

I put the TV remote control on my waist, making it look like I bought a new mobile phone.

Every day I keep setting a new world record, the number of days I live in this world.

I fell in love and shed a tear at a time, so I had the Pacific Ocean.

Facing the sun, I kept my eyes closed, not because the sun was dazzling, but because I was blind.

My future mother-in-law, where is your daughter's girlfriend? Tell her not to cheat others' feelings. Please bring your daughter back as soon as possible! ! My mother is in a hurry.

Before putting on makeup, he said, excuse me. After putting on makeup, he said, have we met a beautiful woman?

What you don't know is actually a verb.

There was a loud noise in the sky, and Lao Tzu appeared. As soon as I got online, the power went out all over the world.

Although I can't be a descendant of the rich, I must be an ancestor of the rich.

I used to be an angel, really! When I came to earth, God kindly said to me, "Go, son, you were born to make up the exam ..."

I collapsed when I went to the examination room, and I cried when I saw the paper. I don't test anything I recite, and I can't test it.

I am a good student, because I have to do a lot of things in class, such as listening to ditty, making up, taking a nap, chatting and blowing a little wind.

God didn't take special care of me, and he didn't abandon me. He just played with me.

As soon as I entered KFC today, I shouted, "How can I get to McDonald's?"

A woman's belly is knocked up by a man, and a man's belly is still knocked up by a man. The former is due to fertilization, and the latter is due to alcohol.

Time is really precious, just one second before someone grabs the toilet.

Aunt, see you at heartbroken cliff in 16. Don't forget to send me a message then!

It is said that the only animal in the world that can maintain eternal love is the hedgehog-because hedgehogs can never get too close.

Pigs have pig ideas, and people have people's ideas. If a pig has a human brain, it is not a pig, but a pig.

Stealing food is not my fault, but the loneliness of my mouth.

Computers and I have the same language. Every time I take a gentle look at it, it collapses subconsciously.

On the plane, I saw a beautiful woman sitting in my seat. So I asked a gentleman, are you from 36A? MM blushed and replied, I … I'm from 36B …

Neither of my classmates can do it in the exam, which really puts me in a dilemma.

Recruit a girl with simple mind, sensitive body, no self-control and no moral bottom line!

What is happiness? Happiness is waking up every morning to look at your watch, but you can still sleep for half an hour.

My heart was cut, and it was not blood that flowed out, but the fault of loving you.

1, loneliness is not innate, but from the moment you fall in love with someone.

2. Who said that love and cough can't be concealed? I forget that the years after that are so long that I can like someone as much as I liked you at the beginning.

I always miss you uneasily. Do you know how many joys and sorrows lie ahead? Actually, I just want to accompany you through the ups and downs.

The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside him knowing you can't have him.

5. I am like a shadow you don't need. I let loneliness exchange my sad thoughts, and I can do nothing about love. This tasteless day and tears are the only luxury.

6. There is no unfinished story in the world, only an immortal heart.

7. Some people are destined to wait for others, while others are destined to be waited for.

8, meet, either hate late or hate early.

9. I really love you. I closed my eyes and thought I could forget, but the tears I shed didn't deceive myself …

10, I cried on the way home, and my tears collapsed again. I can't do anything to walk like this, and I can't be proud and extravagant anymore. What else can I say? What else can I do? I hope you can hear me, because I love you and let you go. ...

1 1. At the beginning, we knew that there would always be an end.

12, don't say love easily, the promise you make is the debt you owe!

13, happiness on the face, others can see. Who can feel the pain inside me?

14. Some people meet like meteors. In an instant, generate had an enviable spark, but it was destined to pass in a hurry.

15, sometimes, love is also a kind of injury: cruel people choose to hurt others, and kind people choose to hurt themselves.

16, after leaving, I think you should not forget one thing: don't forget to think of me. When you miss me, don't forget that I miss you too.

17, I like to leave my mark on you, but I never remember that you never belong to me. ...

18, the first time I smiled because I met you, the first time I cried because you weren't there, and the first time I smiled and cried because I couldn't have you!

19, the most regrettable thing in life is to give up what you shouldn't have given up easily; Stubbornly insist on what you shouldn't insist on. ...

20. If you are unhappy, if you are unhappy, let go; If you can't let go, it will be painful.

2 1, if you are in love, don't miss the opportunity easily. Reckless, may make you regret for a while; Cowardice may make you regret it all your life.

22. In this tangled secular world, it is also a realm to learn to treat everything around you with a normal heart.

23. Since you love, why don't you say it? If you lose something, you can't get it back!

I thought this bird couldn't fly across the sea because it didn't have the courage to fly across the sea. Ten years later, I found that it was not the bird that could not fly across the sea, but the other side of the sea, without waiting. ...

25. Sun Moon Lake is a tear that the sun and the moon love but always miss.

On the day you left, I decided not to shed tears, covering my eyes against the wind and trying not to blink. ...

27. I put down my dignity, personality and stubbornness because I can't let you go.

Love is not complicated, but three words come and go, not "I love you" or "I hate you" or "Forget it" or "How are you?" I'm sorry.

29. Do you know that missing someone is like appreciating a cruel beauty and then telling yourself to face it in a small voice? ...

30. I know now that if you don't know someone, you can still love him. I know now that if you don't love him, you can still miss him.

3 1, I like you for a long time ~ I have been waiting for you for a long time. Now, I'm leaving, even for a long time.

32. Being together is called a dream, and being apart is called pain, isn't it? It is said that unfinished dreams are the most painful, and I bear the result. Can you give me a song time, hug tightly and become eternal!

33. From beginning to end, I was alone, so what?

34, happiness, together, we just want, the happiness of running water, write happiness together?

35. My world suddenly becomes so dark ... I'm tired of falling in love with loneliness.

36. I asked, how can I let a person know that you are thinking of him? You say, repeat his name in your mind, and he will feel it. But I keep repeating your name in my heart, but you haven't heard from me. Maybe you don't know I'm waiting for you.

I thought this bird couldn't fly across the sea because it didn't have the courage to fly across the sea. It was ten years later that I discovered that it was not the birds that could not fly, but the other side of the sea, and I didn't wait …

38. If one day I don't like you anymore, will my life be as decadent as before ... I don't want to live like that anymore, so please at least like me before I give up on you. ...

39, I don't want to, for your smiling face, I become a clown of love, a clown of love, in your world, how come there is nothing, you left, you left with all your emotions, and you didn't look back.

I like you not because I chose you, but because you chose me.

4 1, we probably can't be irreplaceable to each other as before-we probably can't love as hard as before until we all cry.

42. I'm just afraid that you don't care so much about my feelings.

43. One day, your hand will hold another person's hand. It's not you standing next to me anymore.

44. Fortunately, you can forget me-because I like the sadness separated by a world distance, and I just need to bear it alone.

45. Lonely people will always remember everyone who appears in their lives, just as I will always think of you!

46. Children who used to deal with words will never be happy. Their happiness is like naughty children, wandering to the skylight, but still refusing to come back.

47. One day I will walk away from you silently. I missed a lot, and I was always sad alone.

48. My tears flowed down and watered the soft grass below. I don't know if there will be memories and sadness in the next year.

49. People all over the world have left you, and I will be by your side. If there is a hell, we will run amok together.

50. If God wants to destroy a person, he will go crazy, but I have been crazy for so long. Why didn't God destroy me?

5 1, does not like to talk, but talks the most every day. I don't like to laugh, but I always laugh. People around me say that my life is so happy, so I think I am really happy. But why did I suddenly become silent among a large group of friends? Why do I feel sad when I see a similar figure in the crowd? I forgot to speak when I saw the trees falling leaves madly in autumn, and I forgot my original direction when I saw the warm yellow light on the road as it was getting late. That only proved that I once existed.

52. I finally believe that time reversal is just a beautiful myth, deceiving children, but if possible, please make up another story to deceive me, ok?

You will never see me when I am loneliest, because I am loneliest only when you are not by my side.

54. The saddest distance in the world is when two people are far away but don't know each other. Suddenly one day, they met and fell in love, and the distance became very close. Then one day, they stopped falling in love, and the two people who were very close became far away, even farther away than before.

55. I don't want to hear it. Who are you in love with?

56. Sometimes when we forgive someone, we don't really forgive them, but we don't want to lose her. We just pretend to forgive.

57, leave, is the pursuit of freedom, or she does not stay.

58. Waiting for you here, who will understand my loneliness?

59. The wind blows like a flower, and you become the most beautiful ornament.

60. A heart belongs to you for a long time, but you still love it after parting.

6 1, if it takes a long time, will you still blame me, like an ordinary old friend, or will you feel sorry for me?

Knowing that you are here, I have to wait quietly.

63. My heart has changed, and you don't care. Your love has changed, and I can't help asking.

64. When I said goodbye to you in tears, you just said goodbye to me coldly, without feeling your indifferent eyes, and your heart broke into thousands of pieces.

65. Stop torturing me. My heart was cut open. It's not blood that comes out, it's the fault of loving you.

I am not a beauty, but I am definitely a disaster.

1. If you can't give me the future, don't disturb my present.

2. Moonlight falls on the palm of your hand through the window, and your thoughts stay in the past.

If you get other people's secrets, you will lose your happiness.

On graduation day, I will hug the person I like in the name of leaving.

5. A realistic and romantic perfectionist whose brain has been eaten.

6. I don't want to be short, I want to be with you forever.

7.- repay her with the despair you gave me.

Everyone must admit that he misses the way he used to be, but at the same time, you must accept the fact that everything has changed.

9. I'm afraid he sees you fearless too much and forgets that you are also weak. You are a girl after all.

10, I miss someone. How long does it take to get closer or forget?

1 1, we are walking in the evening breeze, my heart is in the room, and your eyes are undercurrent.

12, love is so short. Forget it. Bye.

13, a roaming chat record, how many people have been destroyed and how many people have been seen through.

14 but I believe in love and that whimsy will open one day.

15, I am not a beauty, but I am sure I am a disaster.

16, in fact, don't meet each other every day. It doesn't matter if you talk every day. As long as you believe in the other person, no matter how tempting he or she is, he or she will leave you.

17, you can't be together if you can't be together. Maybe your life is not that long.

18, money is like water, nothing will die of thirst, more will drown.

19, missed years, blooming in the northern desert, barren, reincarnation of spring and summer.

20. When one day you find that I stop crying, making trouble and losing my temper with you, it's time for you to lose me.

2 1, mind your own mouth and heart in the group.

22. You have changed from a stranger to someone I can't bear to part with.

23. You are my Youlemei, so I can throw you away after drinking.

It is said that two people get along for a long time and will reach an inexplicable tacit understanding. For example, if you ignore me, I will ignore you. . .

25. My heart is deeply infatuated with you, and I have no regrets. I have blurred my life and pinned it on hopeless acacia.

26. Don't cherish what you get easily, but forget what you lose.

27.-Put down the sand you can't hold.

28. Walk slowly. Find your own rhythm and have your own simplicity.

29, some people, some things, lost and never come back, blame themselves for not cherishing.

30. Once, who did you cry for? You were the sand I blew into my eyes, which blurred my eyes and made me unable to see the sky clearly.

3 1, as a woman with personality, she can show her charm alone even in a lively environment.

32. Human nature is everything.

33. Happiness is just a silhouette, just like the past years, like aquatic flowers.

34. Having long hair for ten years, you can cut it in fifty minutes. After studying for ten years, you can forget it completely as soon as you graduate. Those who feel that their love is so painful that they can't sleep all night may wake up and never be moved again.

35. The bravest thing I have ever done in my life is listening to your story with a smile.

36. Experience the feeling of traffic for the first time.

37. Go around and turn around. Fortunately, you still stay where you are.

38. I know when to stop, when to let go and when to move on. But just because I know doesn't mean I can

Instead of making excuses everywhere and saying I don't love you.

You know my temper. cool thin doesn't like to compete for happiness. You blame me for thinking calmly]

4 1, like what is right for no reason-

42. I will forget you, first of all, your appearance, then your voice, and finally what you said.

Seeing your love, I can only force a smile.

44. I am not afraid of gossip. I'm afraid I'll use all my courage.

45. Never stop believing in yourself.

46. People who always feel that they are not melodramatic are really not people when they are melodramatic.

47. It's time to get up from the chair and stick your pants on your ass again.