Humorous jokes that amuse girls.

Little joke that makes girls happy 1 1. A friend has had a dog for eight years. His feelings are deep. The dog suddenly fell ill, spent a lot of money, and died. Her heart ached for a long time, and I comforted her: "It's also a good thing that the dog left first. Imagine if you leave first, wouldn't the lost dog be even more pitiful! " My dear girlfriend is pregnant because she already has a son. The baby wants a daughter. Today, she had a B-ultrasound. She is a son. She is on WeChat: seeking comfort. Me: Don't be sad, maybe he will be very girly in the future! The fat girl paraded through the city in a short skirt and was ridiculed that her legs were like radishes. A Dai couldn't stand it any longer, and ran to comfort her: "Radish is not a shame, only a radish beard is a shame." 4, class reunion, full of emotion. A girl cried: "I am 24 years old this year. I am not ugly and have a good personality. Why don't I have a boyfriend and no one is chasing me? " The whole audience was silent and there was no way to comfort them. At this time, one or two goods floated leisurely: "That's because you still can't know yourself correctly." Little joke that makes girls happy 2 1. My best friend in high school is a rich second generation, and all the rich people in my family are very kind. His grades were not good, so his brothers handed him cheat sheets during the exam. After three years, he cheated his parents, but the college entrance examination was a mess. Ten years later, I went to his house and had a drink with him. When he mentioned that year, he burst into tears and said, I really regret not studying hard at that time. Now my brothers are all in Beijing and Shanghai. Meet each other late. In this dump in London, no one can drink. 2. Going home by car on holiday, sitting next to me is a beautiful woman like a sister with milk tea. I've been racking my brains all the way to try to strike up a conversation, but I just don't know how to speak. I'm in a hurry to get to the station. At this time, my sister paper glanced at me and said, it's going to the station soon. Don't worry, there is a toilet at the station. 3. Waiting for the bus at night, because the last bus arrived at the station for almost ten minutes, and worried that there was no car, I asked a woman next to me. She made sure that the bus hadn't arrived yet, so I just stood there waiting for the bus. One minute, five minutes, ten minutes, I saw a man driving a car, picked up the woman ... and left me leaning against the stop sign to blow the wind. There is a barbecue stall at home, and the boss insists on wearing a mask in summer, which is the conscience of the industry. Often patronize, until one day he chatted with the person who set up the stall next door, only to know that he wore a mask because there was too much dust on the roadside. Little joke that makes girls happy 3 1. Mom: Have you changed boyfriends again? Daughter: Ah! How did you know? Mom: Last week, I often heard cuckoo chirping under our window. I suddenly became a frog these days. 2. Be polite and behave appropriately. When traveling, you can open the door and take your luggage. You can remember your favorite dishes the first time you eat them, and you won't feel a little uncomfortable. How is such a man tempered? Well ... on the whole, they have an elegant mother. Of course, there may be countless ex-girlfriends. 3. Man: "Can you imitate a woodpecker?" Woman: "How to imitate?" Man: "Take my face as bark." Humorous jokes that make girls happy 2 1. I said you were a pig, but you said, "I am a pig." From then on, I will call you "pig head monster"! Finally one day, you can't help shouting at everyone: "I'm not a pig!" " "2. Judge:" Why print counterfeit money? " The defendant said innocently, "Because I can't print real money. "3. Thief A:" How much did you rob today? "Thief B:" No, just read the newspaper tomorrow. 4. "Do you know what you are in my heart?" The goddess suddenly sent this sentence. I immediately asked, "What is it?" "Half of them are male gods." I was flattered, and then she said, "Half of it is menstrual disease. "5. A couple just got married. The husband was sent abroad by the company. A year later, the husband went home. After taking a bath that night, the couple fell asleep with snoring. Someone knocked at the door at midnight. The husband jumped up from his sleep and exclaimed, "No! Your husband is back! " The wife murmured, "impossible, he is abroad." "6. The girl is sitting on a stool. When she got up, a person saw the girl's skirt stuffed in her ass and reached out and pulled it out. The girl was furious and slapped the man. The man said indignantly, "Count me in." Then he reached out and stuffed the skirt back into the girl's ass. 7. A girl pretended to be innocent and asked, "Where did you say the child was born?" Another girl disdained: "Shit, it's not easy. You can come out from wherever you go in! "8. In high school, my English teacher (a middle-aged woman in her fifties) thought that we boys wouldn't listen, so she cursed," What are you thinking? " I was at a loss and said inexplicably, "I miss you!" " "There was a long silence in the classroom, but a pair of frightened eyes were looking at me. The teacher stayed for a while, then pointed at me and cursed: "You smelly rascal!" " "Illegal! 9. A thief sneaked into a heavily guarded place at midnight. After opening the vault with great difficulty, he found it was full of jelly. The tired and hungry thief ate all the jelly in a rage and left. The headline of the local newspaper the next day was: "Shocked! Sperm bank was stolen crazily. 10, the furthest distance in the world is: we go out together, you buy four generations of apples, and I buy four bags of apples. 1 1. A man, who happened to meet Xifeng. After a long hesitation, he asked in a low voice, "May I take a photo with you?" Xifeng shouted, "No, I won't sleep with you!" All eyes were on the two men, and the man replied awkwardly. After a while, Xifeng came over and whispered, "I'm sorry, I'm studying psychology recently, just to test people's reaction in embarrassing situations." The man shouted, "Thirty dollars? Too expensive! " 12, two friends haven't seen each other for a long time. Let's eat jiaozi together. Sam suddenly asked Han Di, "Do you know what gender jiaozi is?" Emperor Han looked puzzled: "After eating jiaozi for so many years, is jiaozi still divided into men and women?" Ah San laughed and said, "What a fool! It's a man. Jiaozi has a foreskin. 13 once rented A Jin Tianyi in Manba, and she burst into tears when she saw the second page. I don't know what the hell drew a circle on a character with a blue ballpoint pen and wrote: This is the murderer ... 14 suddenly found an interesting rule: whether we watch a love drama or a youth idol drama, in the end, the hero and heroine get married, and then TV or movies. This profound explanation: as long as a man and a woman get married, there is no future! 15, mother-in-law takes an examination of third son-in-law. First, I invited my eldest son-in-law to take a walk. When I crossed the bridge, I suddenly jumped down. My eldest son-in-law was rescued by diving, and my mother-in-law gave him a Guangben car. The mother-in-law did the same thing again, tempted the second son-in-law, and was also rescued. The injured second son-in-law gave an Audi. She tried her third son-in-law, but she couldn't swim and couldn't save her. Her mother-in-law drowned. The next day, my father-in-law gave him a Mercedes! 16, a: "Sister, if someone hurts you, how long will you forgive him?" B: "It is God's business to forgive him, and my task is to send her to see God ..."17, a bachelor's signature was changed to: People who secretly love me, how can you be so calm! ! ! 18, our old man who teaches chemistry is short-sighted After finishing writing the blackboard in class, he suddenly turned to me and shouted, "What are you standing for?"! ! Sit down! ! "I sat in the last row of seats, my coat was hanging on the wall behind me ... 19, an old farmer was hoeing in the field, and a crow flew by, pulled a shit and landed on the old farmer's face. The old farmer looked up and cursed: "Cao your mother! I don't know how to wear shorts when I go out! " The crow said, "Cao! You shit and wear underpants! " Robber: "Tell me the password of the safe, or I'll kill you!" " Female employee: "Don't tell me if you kill me! I won't say anything if you ruin me! " The robber looked her up and down and said, "You should be beautiful!" " Humorous jokes make girls happy 3 jokes make girls happy 1 1 "I went to see a doctor yesterday." "oh! What did the doctor say? " "The doctor said, have you seen enough? ! "2. The young man asked the Zen master," I worked hard, but I didn't achieve anything in my career. What should I do? " The Zen master said, "90 degrees is very hot, but can such a water temperature make the water boil?" The young man hesitated and said, "I grew up in Lhasa." Xiaohong said to Xiaoming, "You got me pregnant, and you should be responsible!" Xiao Ming exclaimed, "Kissing has nothing to do with having children?" Xiaohong: "Of course! If you don't believe me, go back and ask mom and dad if they are biological! " 4. Girlfriend has poor aesthetic taste in buying clothes. She thinks beautiful clothes are actually ugly. Because of this, I broke my heart and mouth, and finally wanted to speak. If she had good taste, she wouldn't like me. A friend planted some garlic seedlings in the dormitory, saying it was to add some greenery to the dormitory. He worked hard for two weeks. When I was cooking noodles yesterday, I thought it tasted bad, so I pinched two and put them in a bowl. As a result, when he came back, he cried and insisted that I pay for it. As for it? I had no choice but to give him the cabbage I had raised for two months. Jokes tease girls 2 1, Chu and Han contend, Xiang Yu is besieged. In the camp, he thought about drinking and lamented, "Pulling mountains makes the world angry, but if it is unfavorable, it will not die. What can I do without dying? " The lyrics are sad and tragic, and the feelings are sad. The accompanying concubines saw the lamentation of their beloved overlord's sons and daughters, drew their swords and danced, gently singing: "Seventeen-year-old concubines, recalled the dribs and drabs of childhood ..." 2. Erkang dared not sleep alone. Every time Wei Zi went back to her mother's house, he couldn't sleep at night. Once Wei Zi went back, only to find that she didn't hear the news that Er Kang couldn't sleep. She was puzzled and asked Erkang, "How can you fall asleep this time?" Sang Kang said shyly, "I'm not afraid to sleep alone. Yongqi is a quilt. I am not afraid. " 3. One day, Nezha met the Monkey King and defiantly said to him, "Yaoyao asked if you dare?" The Monkey King was shocked: "Love me like you said?" 4. Dayu didn't enter the house for three times, and his wife sang about him at home every day. "Dayu missed those years, and he missed those years of love!" 5, Huang Rong poisoning, itchy all over. Although Hong Qigong could not detoxify, he still used internal force to relieve itching and delay the attack, so that Guo Jing had enough time to ask for help. Seeing that Huang Rong was in a stable situation, Qi Gong pulled Guo Jing aside and whispered to him, "Although I was only itching, but ..." Guo Jing hesitated to take it and sang, "Green ... green grass smells better because of you?"