(4) Do you know your sexual orientation?

In the second article, I put forward that there are many views on gender, at least according to FB theory, there are 56 kinds of gender besides men and women. I believe that everyone has a certain gender awareness of themselves.

So the question I bring you in this chapter is, do you know your sexual orientation? Sexual orientation, referred to as sexual orientation, is also called sexual orientation, sexual orientation, sexual orientation and so on. , refers to a person's permanent attraction to men and women in love and sexual desire. There are five common sexual orientations: heterosexuality, homosexuality, bisexuality, asexuality and universality. There are 10 unusual sexual orientations: asexual, manic, gray, semi-sexual, semi-romantic, light romantic, multi-sexual, pan-romantic and Skoliosexual.

? So from this (gender, sexual orientation) point of view, how many possibilities are there for a person with gender and sexual orientation to get along with another person? Excluding the general mathematical statistics that a person may present multiple genders and sexual orientations, the most conservative estimate of the relationship between people is at least 58x 15=? 870 kinds, so the probability of single people finding a suitable partner is really low.

? Speaking of sexual orientation, I will introduce Kinsey's theory of sexual mobility in this chapter. From 65438 to 0948, Kinsey's Human Male Sexual Behavior was published. The book points out that many people have had sexual relations with the opposite sex and the same sex, so he divides people's sexual orientation into seven grades: 0 for pure heterosexuality and 6 for pure homosexuality. From 0 to 6, the proportion of homosexuals gradually increased, while the proportion of heterosexuals gradually decreased. The final findings are:

By the time of the interview, 37% of the men interviewed had had homosexual sex at least once.

By the time of the interview, 50% of unmarried men before the age of 35 had had homosexual sex at least once.

? The ratio of 37% to 50% is so high that most people may find it unbelievable. That is to say, if you think you are straight, but you find that a certain same sex has a special attraction for you, or you want to try to have sex with the same sex, you don't have to be surprised, because you are not the only one who has had this experience. Later, researchers also found that women's sexual mobility is higher than that of men.

? Who's Kinsey? He is the first sexologist in the world. He is not the first person to study sexual behavior, but he is the first person to study human sexual behavior by scientific methods. He spent twenty years collecting more than one million yellow peaks, and found that none of them were the same as others. He used this unique discovery to describe human sexual behavior: he first proposed that everyone's sexual behavior is unique, so it is inaccurate to describe sexual behavior with "normal" and "abnormal". Kinsey found that homosexuality and heterosexuality are not two sides of the same coin, but more like two extremes of a range. We can all find our place in this range. Some people are more inclined to the heterosexual side, while others are more inclined to the homosexual side. This position is not constant in our life. For example, someone may just like the opposite sex psychologically, but be attracted to the same sex physically. Some people may like the same sex for most of their lives, but once fell in love with a certain opposite sex. In order to explain this discovery, Kinsey and his assistants invented the later famous Kinsey Scale.

? Most people think that heterosexuals have reproductive needs, and the rest are "perverts". But for human beings, the role of sex is far more than reproduction, it is also one of our basic self-identity. The purpose of homosexual sex is not to reproduce. Unlike you who can decide what sex you belong to, you can't decide your sexual orientation.

? Besides sexual orientation mobility, sexual plasticity is another related concept. Here refers to the change of human sexual performance-that is, sexual attitude, sexual orientation and sexual behavior. In other words, a person's sexual response can change with the change of the surrounding environment. For example, in the army, homosexual sex in prison may be determined by the environment. Without this environment, this phenomenon may disappear.

? Sexual mobility and bisexuality are not a concept, and most people think they have a clear sexual orientation. However, a person's sexual mobility and sexual orientation are two parallel independent variables with different attributes. Some people have high mobility, while others have relatively low mobility. Sexual mobility can happen to absolute heterosexuals or homosexuals, but it only represents a changing sexual response. For example, you may always like feminine types, but suddenly you will find a completely different person who can stimulate you in a fresh and exciting way. You may still like a feminine same-sex partner as usual, but she may have more masculine attributes.

? Another situation is that you are eager for an alternative sexual experience. Imagine that a person usually only likes to have missionary sexual activities with one sexual partner, but he or she later changed to a different environment. Everyone has multiple sexual partners and sexual activities are more open. He (she) is attracted by this and wants to participate in it, then this person has also experienced sexual orientation shaping.

? Bisexuality means that both men and women are sexually or emotionally attracted to them. Even if some absolute heterosexuals have sex with the same sex, it does not mean that they become "bisexual"; But it can show that they are sexually active.

In some cases studied by Lisa Diamond, some basically heterosexual women found themselves deeply in love with a particular woman, but they still claimed to be heterosexual. This does not mean that these women are bisexual. They just have a crush on an individual who happens to be of the same sex. For example, some men who are basically "gay" in life find themselves deeply in love with a particular woman, but he may still feel gay and deny that he is bisexual.

? Longitudinal studies show that people sometimes change their sexual preferences. This is crucial, because it means that we can't call everything "bisexual". Labeling them as "bisexual" will only be counterproductive, because it will hinder the scientific research on the true origin and variability of sexual orientation, as well as sexual experience and sexual performance.

? Similarly, emotional connection is fundamentally different from sexual desire. In Diamond's words, "a person can simply fall in love without sexual desire".

There are some special studies on male sexual mobility, including a study in 2006, which investigated male sexual experiences in the past 12 months. The results show that among men who have had sex with the same sex, the proportion of heterosexuality is higher than that of homosexuality, and almost no one is considered bisexual. This may be another example of male sexual mobility.

Sex should not be simple and straightforward. If psychologists claim that introversion and neuroticism (two of the five personality traits) will fluctuate with time, people will feel that this seems obvious and indisputable. Once the variable in the topic becomes "sex", some people will feel that it will not change with time. But this is not scientific.

So, to sum up, sexual orientation is a fluid concept, so do you know your sexual orientation? Or to be precise, since the future is uncertain, do you know your current (present, present) sexual orientation? I think it is very important for a person to know his sexual orientation at every stage, at least to be honest with himself, because this is his real inner need.