Fortune Telling Collection - Free divination - Crosstalk at the get-together (deadline: 30th)
Crosstalk at the get-together (deadline: 30th)
Guo: It's so late. Everyone hasn't left yet. It's good. Listening to cross talk more often is interesting.
Yes
Guo: Crosstalk dare not talk about high platform education. At the very least, you can persuade people to be good and teach them to study hard. I like this art form very much. I like singing, dancing and practicing. Because I am a cultural person.
Y: You're welcome, cultural man?
Guo: That's right. Dancing and writing,
Yu: Calligraphy.
Guo: Painting, arithmetic, astronomy and geography, astrology.
Y: There are quite a few studies.
Guo: Well, I confused them all. Love painting, studying at home, Meiju, landscape figures,
Yu: full of paintings.
Guo: I like a great painter in the Northern Song Dynasty best.
Y: who is it?
Guo: Zhang Zeduan.
Y: Oh, famous!
Guo: You know.
Y: I know.
Guo: This painting is called The Riverside Scene at Qingming Festival.
Y: right,
Guo: He described the happy scene when widows went to the grave to cry and mourn in Tomb-Sweeping Day in the Northern Song Dynasty.
Y: oh, what?
Guo: This is what I am most proud of.
what are you reading? What about the little widow's grave?
Guo: Tomb-Sweeping Day.
No. It's The Riverside Scene at Qingming Festival.
Guo: Go to the monk and ask for a picture?
Y: What are you going to do?
Guo: What are the advantages?
Yes, the painting on the river.
Guo: The paintings on the river. Draw and find someone else to learn.
Y: Roger that.
Guo: We really can't tell. It's in the Forbidden City.
Y: right,
Guo: Let's buy that painting. Look, follow the picture. Just like it's real.
Y: Oh, that's it?
Guo: Learn. After painting, make old ones, send them to Panjiayuan, hang them there and sell them to foreigners.
Y: You are a fake painter.
Guo: Works of art, recognized by foreigners, look good. It became old and yellow, and he liked it very much.
Yes, yes.
Guo: I hung up when I got home. I will be here in a few days. Why does it rain when I buy it back? Why is the room so embarrassing?
Y: Do you pee to get old?
Guo: Carry forward the quintessence of Chinese culture.
Y: What is the essence of China culture?
Guo: Drawing, practicing calligraphy, having nothing to do at home, hey, getting a certificate. This.
Y: apply for a certificate? Apply for a certificate!
Guo: Why not write "demolition" and draw a circle? Love to write this.
Y: Can you write something useful?
Guo: I like this one.
Y: just apply for a certificate.
Guo: Because for myself, I have a wide range of hobbies, such as astronomy, geography and Iblis.
Y: all-round study?
Guo: Hey, one day I will study pediatrics or something, and it is also possible to get a spaceship.
Do you own a spaceship?
Guo: sell some iron sheets and smash them.
Y: How about the chimney?
Guo: As for the spacecraft,
Y: really?
Guo: Through time tunnel.
Y: oh.
Guo: Put the boat in the time tunnel, sit still, close the door and plug in the bolt.
Y: huh? Do you have a pin?
Guo: Turn the key, and once you give the oil, you can shuttle through time tunnel and the telephone poles on both sides. Swish, swish, I love this.
Y: You're not shuttling through just visiting, you're driving a motorcycle in this dark alley.
Guo: Science students, you don't understand this. This high-tech, computer, the first time I came into contact with computers,
Y: really?
Guo: When I first came out, many people didn't know. We have been playing computer at home. Let's get started.
Y: You smashed the computer, not played it.
Guo: Playing computer.
Y: play the dulcimer. What are you?
Guo: chatting, chatting online, typing,
Y: that's all right.
Guo: Chatting with netizens on SM.
Y: huh?
Guo: Do your best.
Y: ok, ok,
Guo: Don't stop me.
Y: You still went to the batter, didn't you? Chatting on SM?
Guo: SM, just chatting.
Y: All right, stop it. MSN, you know?
Guo: I remember a SM.
Y: no
Guo: Chat, download that blockbuster and watch the movie of that foreign director. I like this.
Y: who is it?
Guo: speer's arm.
Y: huh? Do you have thighs? Is it here?
Guo: (recalling) Some have.
Y: what is it? Spielberg.
Guo: What did I say?
Y: You mean speer's arm.
Guo: You have to call up the names of foreigners before you can read them.
Y: This has been transferred to this. Why do you want to tune it again?
Guo: What about the arm?
Y: it's not the arm adjustment. His name is Spielberg.
Guo: I just like watching him. He made that movie very well, and the foreign language spoken there really sounded like a foreign language. I really don't understand. I'm not lying.
Y: Yes, you certainly don't understand.
Guo: People make good use of maps. Its name is speer.
Y: Berg!
Guo: What's the name of Berg's blockbuster? The story of a pig is thoughtful and artistic.
Y: really?
Guo: He made a sequel called The Story of Another Pig.
Y: two pigs.
Guo: Did you see his sequel this Spring Festival?
Y: no
Guo: The story of a pot of braised pork.
Y: kill pigs. This is ...
K: OK, OK, I like it. I like this.
Y: eat meat?
Guo: Spielberg. You can play. You should live for yourself, not like a teacher.
Y: what's wrong with me?
Guo: It hurts to look at it.
Y: what's the matter
Guo: The teacher is reluctant to spend money. Even when he goes out to take a taxi and wait for the bus, he stands there with his shoulders, waiting for the bus. What did you say?/Sorry? "Waiting for the bus."
Y: wait for the bus.
Guo: Did I say I couldn't come? 8 19 or something, "no, I wait for the special second, I get the special second, I get the special second."
Y: You are a genius! You can't turn around and curse the street,
Look, your car.
Y: Your car!
Guo: You take the No.2 bus.
Y: Oh, you made it clear.
Guo: If it weren't for the confusion of Beijingers.
Y: It's Beijingers who scold you.
Guo: You take the No.2 bus.
Y: right. You'd better say so
Guo: Let's just say you have a miserable life.
Y: What's so sad about this?
Guo: Look at us, traveling, watching movies, copying ancient paintings, S. .
Yu: MSN!
Guo: I have never chatted for nothing in my life.
Y: It didn't come for nothing.
Guo: Traveling around the world,
Y: still traveling,
Guo: I play everywhere.
Y: play, don't take the road,
Guo: Fight, fight.
Y: soon.
Guo: What do you mean, finished?
Y: what you said,
Guo: I plan to travel around the country. There are many good places in China. I like the three northeastern provinces best.
Y: Three northeastern provinces?
Guo: There are beautiful women in the three northeastern provinces!
Y: Are there any beautiful women in the three northeastern provinces?
Guo: Yes, there are beautiful women in the three northeastern provinces. Alas, the places where I meet beautiful women in the country are basically in the three northeastern provinces.
Y: I didn't go to any good places.
Guo: There are beautiful women in the three northeastern provinces, Suzhou and Hangzhou.
Y: That's a beautiful woman.
Guo: Since ancient times, Suzhou and Hangzhou have produced beautiful women, and Hebei, that is, Fang Sheng of Bazhou, has produced beautiful women and crabs.
Y: Yes, can you afford it?
Guo: Sichuan, Chuanmei is affectionate, and I like Sichuan.
Y: You have nothing to do when you go out, right? Is that all?
Guo: Hunan, I love Hunan. Hunan has the best scenery in the world. I like to go anywhere, as far away as possible, not at home, far away, Yunnan.
Y: Yunnan?
Guo: The scenery is beautiful and there are many ethnic minorities.
Y: right.
Guo: Walking in the streets of Yunnan, ah, "Deng Deng Deng" (humming Pig's daughter-in-law's tune)
Y: That's where The Journey to the West was filmed. Pigs and pigs are walking there.
Guo: Shit, I won't talk to you another day.
Y: I have to go there to get beaten when I talk to you.
Guo: Traveling in Yunnan, walking in the street, two women came face to face: "Brother, look at dancing!" " "What dance?" National dance. "Well, Beijing also has it." Have you ever seen anyone naked? "No clothes?
Y: ah,
Guo: I know where you come from without clothes. Don't look, go my way, go forward, "Deng Deng Deng," (continue to hum Zhu Bajie's daughter-in-law) most local ethnic minorities.
Y: yes,
Guo: He has a "death squad" in Yunnan.
Y: arrest the clan?
Guo: One by one.
Y: Come on, come on, there is no one in this tribe, right?
Guo: Look!
Y: What do you mean by arresting people?
Guo: Grasp the clan.
Yu: Dai people.
Guo: Isn't wearing different from catching?
Y: This is not universal.
Guo: Is there a difference between being caught and being caught?
Y: It's different here.
Guo: Just say Dai, the one who met their family.
Yu: Dai people.
Guo: Dai people didn't slip away. This group didn't slip away.
Y: Why don't you slip away?
Guo: I got a "wow" splash with water, and it splashed all over me. If I speak, I will curse this street.
What are you doing? This is the Songkran Festival.
Guo: Is it all boiled water? Let my face burn, you know?
Y: You prepared a story about a pot of braised pork.
Guo: You tell me your number, and I'll add you when I go back in the evening. I like going, I love traveling, I have been to Hongkong, Macau and Taiwan Province.
Y: really?
Guo: Hong Kong, I love Hong Kong.
Y: Hong Kong is really busy.
Guo: Hong Kong has built a big park, which imitates those American cartoons and cartoon characters.
Y: there is one,
Guo: Well, bikini park. I've never worn a bikini. I must behave well this time. I paid for the ticket. I must look good in a bikini.
Y: Wait a minute. Yes, it's tight inside. Bikini park?
Guo: Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck.
Y: There are not so many such things. You said it was Disney Park.
Guo: Has the translation been completed? Bikini, Disney is similar.
Y: far from it.
Guo: Yes, I will go to the park, whether it is Taiwan Province Province or Sun Moon Lake.
Y: right,
Guo: I'll buy a box of cough syrup and sell it there.
Y: why?
Guo: After drinking this, the phlegm will stop.
Y: Where did you go to eliminate phlegm?
Guo: Do you know a place called Penghu Bay?
Y: I know,
Guo: I must go there. I remember there was an actor named Steven Liu.
Y: ah,
Guo:,, Li Wenshan, all of them. Old artist, I still remember the song he sang.
Y: what?
Guo: The night breeze blows gently in Penghu Bay, white waves chase the beach, and there is no coconut grove chasing the sunset, only this highland. I like this one best!
Y: Steven Liu started as a duet? You sang the wrong tune. Macau,
Guo: Macao, where I go to gamble,
Y: Casino?
Guo: Hey, Macau has the most casinos.
Y: yes,
Guo: I go there to gamble. That casino is bigger than this one, and the lights are all lights.
Y: Where are those pipes?
Guo: The light bulb is as bright as day. In the middle of the table, I stood in the position of a big sister to deal cards. I want to gamble with our underworld in Hong Kong.
Y: bet with them?
Guo: Take a gamble. I stand here and he stands there. There are 40 people behind him and 40 people behind me.
Y: all bring bodyguards.
Guo: They all wear black suits, white jackets, ties and sunglasses.
Y: oh,
Guo: The two of them stood face to face, and as soon as we said it, we started, er, er, er, er, er,
Y: Two gangsters are playing hopscotch.
Guo: Gambling,
Y: You are younger. Who told you that?
Guo: This is a big gamble. Five cents each.
Y: Oh, you've seen money.
Guo: Not at home. Might as well go abroad.
Y: travel abroad.
Guo: I like going abroad because I like western food very much.
Y: That's the right place to go.
Guo: knife in one hand and fork in the other.
Y: right,
Guo: They brought you a plate. Cut it off. There are eggs in it. Roll lettuce with sauce and sausage. Eat it.
Y: Take a knife and fork, eat eggs and fill cakes, right?
Guo: I can eat four. Another bowl of noodle soup. I like this.
Y: Chinese food is breakfast.
Guo: Abroad, traveling. Have you ever been to America?
Y: I haven't been there.
Guo: You are only 2 years old. You are special.
Y: You're welcome, okay?
Guo: big plane, American travel,
Y: Oh,
Guo: There is one in America. What's her name? It's a woman. What is this?
Yu: Nerve?
Guo: Raise the fire and put that on.
Y: The Statue of Liberty.
Guo: Right, right, ok. I admire Americans for this. They are easy to learn.
Y: By the way,
Guo: The goddess has a torch in her hand. This is a book. People have told you, "the power is out, and you have to go to class!" "
Y: Not at all.
Guo: America, my favorite place. Italy, I just missed it.
Y: Don't like going?
Guo: There is nothing to see in Italy. There are only two in Italy. The first is the mafia, which is very famous. I've seen the mafia. When I was in Macau, er, er, er, er,
Y: ok, ok,
Guo: I played once. It was not interesting. The other is the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
Y: The leaning tower of Pisa is nice.
Guo: The leaning tower is boring. Tired of watching in Beijing.
Y: Where can I find it in Beijing?
Guo: Gee, I've been with him for many years. The old gentleman's shoulders are high and low.
Y: I feel dizzy now, don't I?
Guo: Right, right, right. Italy is not going.
Y: O。
Guo: Spain is not interesting either.
Y: bullfighting.
Guo: Yes, Spain is a bullfight. There are cows running in the stadium, holding cloth in their hands, "Deng Deng Deng Deng" (humming pig Bajie's daughter-in-law tune).
Y: This cow must have run away.
Guo: Someone here is beating the cow with a cloth. He is not alone.
Y: several people.
Guo: Huang Jianxiang, he's not alone!
Y: If you say that again, you will soon become a human being.
Guo: Then you can still fire me? This is my business. Take this cloth. I remember it was very useful.
Y: Of course.
Guo: Many helpful guys, when they saw a shaking cloth, shouted, "Boss, look at Ben, if you don't let me, you will lose!" " "
Y: Crosstalk performers are everywhere, and they also work in the bullring.
Guo: Let's put it this way. There is another place where they invited me. I didn't go to Egypt.
Y: Oh, it's an ancient country.
Guo: I am biased against them. He has the sphinx.
Y: right,
Guo: Discrimination against women,
Y: What does that matter?
Guo: No, she has lost her virginity, and you still call people names. This is inappropriate. She just didn't run, you know? If you run away, you won't lose your virginity.
Y: You are well aware of this rogue's mentality. What didn't run away? The lion's body, the human face.
Guo: I won't go, whatever! I heard the mummy was still there,
Y: The Pharaoh,
Guo: The deceased was wrapped in white cloth and put there. If this resistance comes out, the two of them will go to Panjiayuan, which will make a fortune.
Y: You always take this. Last time, you carried two terracotta warriors and horses in Xi 'an, did you know?
Guo: Did I say that?
Yes
Guo: Really? I will carry them out. How nice.
Y: I know a lot,
Guo: How many are there?
Y: Just like the Terracotta Warriors.
Guo: Where do you count at night? Too high-tech. Counting at night, a pile of mummies are lying down, and a guard comes, 64, here! 65, here! 67, yo, 67 nobody promised, (turning) Are you free?
What are you doing?
Guo: Wrap a white cloth on your body and put it there.
Y: no,
Guo: Huh?
Y: My father and I are standing in front of the Terracotta Warriors.
Guo: I forgot if you didn't tell me.
Y: What are your memories?
Guo: Then can't you let your father go?
Y: They are all standing.
Guo: Oh, a father and a father are standing, you two fathers,
Y: I haven't heard of it.
Guo: Don't make trouble. Don't go to Egypt. I'm not going to Thailand anyway.
Y: what's the matter
Guo: They are all going to Thailand, but I'm not going.
Y: What's the matter with you?
Guo: We have a crosstalk performer named.
Y: right,
Guo: Go to Thailand to play.
Yu: Austria
Guo: Just got off the bus and caught up with the mutiny. I haven't put it back yet.
Y: What does it have to do with him?
Guo: It seems that he should be a queen.
Y: wishful thinking about this thing.
Guo: no, no. France is ok.
Y: ok.
Guo: Everyone praises France.
Y: right,
Guo: China is a very rough city. I think this place belongs to us.
Y: romantic.
K: Slow down.
Y: Your waves are fast enough. Romantic country.
Guo: I like France, and I like France best.
Y: really?
Guo: Especially the Arc de Triomphe?
Y: This is a signal.
Guo: I asked his manager and I rented it for him.
Y: why?
Guo: I'll build and burn bricks at that end.
Y: Did you change the brick kiln?
Guo: Little Jingdezhen.
Y: Where is Little Jingdezhen?
Guo: To go to France, you must go to Paris. It is said that all beautiful clothes are fashionable in Paris.
Y: it's famous.
Guo: Paris is the most beautiful place in the world.
Y: You can't live without this either.
Guo: Go to Paris. Do you know where to buy clothes in Paris?
Y: how should I know?
Guo: Go as a foreigner. Remember something. Where can I buy clothes in Paris?
Y: you say.
Guo: There is a zoo in Paris. The zoo is opposite. If you sell clothes, you have to go early. You must be able to talk. You said you "got the goods!"
Y: You said Beijing Zoo, opposite the clothing wholesale market.
Guo: Remember that I am right.
Y: If you look for it, you will find it is blind.
Guo: Have you ever heard of another Notre Dame de Paris?
Y: Notre Dame de Paris.
Guo: As soon as I enter the big cross, I order a naked old man. This is a loss of heart, I was blocked by another man.
Will you stop talking nonsense? Oh, my God, that's ...
Guo: Just nail it. How many birds can you scare by stealing it back and putting it in the field?
Y: Your father is standing there.
Guo: I like painting here. I have to go to the stew palace in France, which specializes in painting.
Y: How humiliating is that?
Guo: It's culture.
Y: The Louvre!
Guo: It is covered with Qi Baishi's paintings. Radish and cabbage are all well painted. You said people painted a cabbage, hundreds of thousands. If this is a new place, alas,
Y: Why do you want to brush the vegetable market?
Guo: Great. They are all painted by Qi Baishi, radish, cabbage, eggplant, eggs, leeks, mutton, cabbage, beef, green onions, chicken and mushrooms.
Y: What happened to Qi Baishi's screen painting "Stuffing"?
Guo: Good painting. They are all artistic. You can learn from me,
What are you studying?
Guo: Traveling abroad is no problem.
Y: I like playing, too
Guo: Don't feel sorry for that station.
Y: I didn't wait until the second day. What's the matter?
Guo: That's right!
Y: don't be surprised.
Guo: I often go out. I just went out the other day. I went to Russia.
Yu: Russia,
Guo: Have you ever been there?
Y: I haven't been there.
Guo: That's easy.
Y: why?
Guo: I just like Russia, the beauty of which is the best in the world, and the Russian song "Boiled in Braised Pork on the outskirts of Moscow". Have you heard of it?
Y: I haven't heard of it.
Guo: Russia, beautiful scenery, playing my beloved pipa,
Y: Well, you went to Russia to catch a train, didn't you?
Guo: This is a Russian song. I translated it for you.
Y: Do you want me to turn with you?
Guo: I went to Russia. I just got back.
Y: really?
K: Oh, tickets, first class,
Y: the plane
Guo: I always fly first class.
Y: ok,
Guo: Unless he throws me out,
Y: Not once.
Guo: Yes, why didn't I? I wrote it when I bought the ticket. Do you think you are willing to spend more money? People wrote first class, economy class, business class and station tickets.
Y: standing ticket? There are still standing tickets on the plane?
Guo: Save money to buy station tickets. Take it.
Y: The plane is really shaking.
Guo: Vomit, this will do.
Y: where do you throw up?
Guo: After vomiting, frame it and hang it in the kitchen.
Y: Like stuffing after vomiting?
Guo: That's right. You're disgusting, you,
Nonsense, you eat too much, you know?
Guo: Shit, I won't talk to you again. . . Run to the airport with the ticket, the big plane, go through the security check, sit there, unbutton,
Y: Are they all open?
Guo: No, you have to bring something. You have a gun. You can't go there. You said you had to bring Tanaka's halberd and mace. This is not allowed.
Y: What's this for?
Guo: Tickle. Unbutton, I have a security guard (pulling my pants)
Y: Huo! What are you doing?
K: That's all right. Pick it up and go!
Y: What's wrong with this drug addict?
Guo: Bah! You are vulgar!
Y: Did anyone take off their pants during the security check?
Guo: I'm afraid you are hiding mace.
Y: That's your idea.
Guo: If you want to be happy, you can be happy. That's what it means. After the security check, people should keep order. The security guard said: "Go inside, don't squeeze, there are seats, there are big seats inside."
Y: sit down? Little boy * * *.
Guo: After passing the security check, I got on the plane and went to the first class. The most important thing is the first class, which is spacious and has a big stool, just a few rows.
Y: yes,
Guo: Sit still. The stewardess will bring you water. First, hot feet. People will give you a drink list. "What would you like to drink, sir?"
Y: What was the smell of that robbery?
Guo: It's still hooked inside.
Y: nonsense.
Guo: You can't treat crosstalk as a series. Translating into Mandarin means drinking something, including coffee, black tea, green tea, drinks, beer, well water and cold water.
Y: Is there a well for pumping cold water?
Guo: Open a hole to get water.
Y: Huo!
Guo: The town is under the green radish.
Y: The casserole radish is on the plane.
Guo: Yes, I'm sorry. You can order a menu and have everything. You order, I'll cook it for you over there, and the stewardess will fry it for you.
Y: the stewardess blew up,
Guo: Hey, these two are baked steamed buns.
Y: How strong is this smoke?
Guo: There is a chimney on it, a semi-circular curtain in the corner, and a small tube in the curtain.
Y: why?
Guo: pee,
Y: Peeing on the curtains?
Guo: Who urinates on his hand, opens the window and falls out after urinating,
Y: Huo!
Guo: It's all spilled on the opposite side.
Y: oh, dear! This complex
Guo: First class! Sit here, and you won't have to wear your seat belt after a while.
Y: of course,
Guo: If you don't want to get to the airport before the plane.
Y: What happened when Rou went out?
Guo: Wait a minute. The stewardess will come later. "Guys, if you are involved, you can't push it." Everyone went down and pushed, "Deng Deng Deng Di" (also humming Pig Bajie's daughter-in-law tune)
Y: A group of pigs are pushing planes here.
Guo: Bah! "Day!" What shall we do if we leave? I hate it, you know? This kind of thing often happens to me.
Y: The plane is not wearing a seat belt. It arrived at the airport first.
Guo: What should I do? Go back and wait, sit in the waiting room, eat instant noodles and peanuts, and then the loudspeaker shouted, "Please contact the front desk if you find the plane K 1546."
Y: Did you lose the plane?
Guo: This kind of thing often happens. I was angry when I came late. I was a minute late, but you didn't wait for me. You have a problem. Waiting for a day is like playing. Go, get on the plane and go to Russia, the sacred place in your heart. There are beautiful women in Russia. "Russia, beautiful scenery, playing my beloved pipa,"
Y: OK, not by train.
Guo: I like this one. I was very happy when I went to Russia. Look, you have to learn, local, where is fun?
Y: travel,
Guo: What to eat, what to wear, buy its big fur coat and drink its white wine.
Yu: Highly alcoholic,
Guo: high alcohol, more than 10 thousand degrees,
Y: Huo! Gasoline is not that expensive,
Guo: I just like it. Go to the police station to make trouble after drinking.
Y: you?
Guo: Go to the door and throw up. The police are very kind to me. He is going to stand in a wooden cage.
Y: It's called a vertical cage.
Guo: Yes, I like this very much. People who go there are not as good as me. I play one more scenic spot than them.
Y: Do you regard the station cage as a scenic spot?
Guo: It's very cola. I can't move. That's enough. Let's let it out and walk in the street. Well, look at Russia. Everywhere is covered with snow. "What a beautiful northland scenery!" Russia, beautiful scenery, playing my beloved pipa. "
Y: Come on, why can't you forget about Zaozhuang, Shandong?
Guo: Shit, I'm giving you a lesson. Just like you, you had an accident abroad and no one saved you. I'm so smart, I still get lost there.
Y: lost?
Guo: Nonsense. What country has lost its way when the Woods are big? I got drunk in Russia and got lost. I can't find a place to live. Fortunately, there is a policeman. I said I'm sorry, let me tell you something. The policeman said politely, "Ah, sir, what is it?"
Y: Traveling to Xi?
Guo: Shit, I'm confused. Please tell me where I want to go. "Oh, are you serious? Are you fake? " What did you really say? How can you say it's fake? "Really give me a hundred dollars and a fake fifty cents." I think, who won't listen to this? Give 100 yuan, tell me, I'm serious.
Yes
Guo: "Really? I don't know, either. "
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