A man who betrays you cannot judge you positively.

A person who betrays you can't judge you positively.

Emotional betrayal, in the final analysis, is that the other party does not love themselves. No matter how you interpret it, this article is fundamental.

Of course, love is not eternal. A person who once loved you deeply may not care about you now. The person who betrays you now may not love you again in the future, but at the moment of betrayal, ta must not love you.

In this regard, you can't listen to what ta says, although you certainly hope that ta still loves you; You regard ta's betrayal as an accidental deviation.

However, if a person has deviated, then you can never be sure whether ta will betray you in the future, which is why the feelings of betrayal are difficult to repair.

Relationships can be repaired, but trust is hard to rebuild. If someone you trust shoots you in the back, you can't turn your back on ta without taboo in your life. That is the reality. Since it is a reality, we should accept this truth. Therefore, the main responsibility for rebuilding trust is not you, but the other party.

In other words, if the other person does well enough, then trust will come back. However, if you can't find the feeling of trusting each other again, don't embarrass yourself. The main problem is the other side.

In the face of emotional betrayal, it is better to learn to love yourself than to expect fall in love again.

Love is not only caring for greetings, but also accompanying care. Love is a kind of affirmation and respect.

Therefore, after emotional betrayal, the most serious damage is not the loss of exclusive care and care, but the betrayal deeply hurts one's self-esteem, making one feel insecure and unable to gain affirmation. This is the so-called sense of value.

Why, after betrayal, those who hurt the most are often those who attach too much importance to family ties and feelings, or even the only one, because family ties and feelings constitute their important value foundation.

In other words, their cognition of self-worth mainly comes from family and marriage. If the other person loves himself, it means that he deserves to be loved and has "value"; And betrayal is equivalent to the most thorough denial of yourself.

Therefore, people who value their feelings are the hardest to give up, the hardest to break, and the hardest to heal in the face of betrayal. Because betrayal hurts the deepest part of self-awareness, and the higher the self-awareness, the stronger the self-esteem, so it is difficult to tolerate or let go of betrayal.

At this time, to deal with betrayal, we must start from two levels. First of all, separate marriage from feelings.

If marriage has reserved value, or there are too many obstacles in the face of divorce, then keep marriage and regard marriage as a partnership, whether it is a partnership of interests or a partnership for children.

Emotionally, you should learn to pull away slowly, because the more you can't let go of your feelings, the more you value them, the deeper the damage will be, which is not conducive to your own improvement and healing. Secondly, don't look for affirmation from each other, but measure your "value" from each other.

Although ta is a very important person in your life, he can be a unique person, but because ta has hurt you and hurt you with betrayal, at this time, you must change your thinking and build your sense of value in other aspects.

The truth is 100 people will judge you, and one person will say you are not good. Do you care?

Probably won't care, because this person has nothing to do with me: but if this person is important to you, you will care. Even if 99 other people say hello, you may feel that you are not good enough.

Accordingly, after encountering emotional betrayal, Wan Yu should not try to gain the "affirmation" and "praise" from the other side by pandering to the other side. If you respond in this way, the other party will shift the responsibility of betrayal to you, "because you are not good here, that is not good, so I betray you."

Ask yourself, do you love each other? Probably still love, otherwise, it is not difficult for you to forgive each other. Then, continue to ask yourself, is the other person perfect? Of course not. Since the other party is not perfect and has problems, why didn't you betray the other party? Speaking of which, do you understand that betrayal is, in the final analysis, a matter of ta's personal conduct, not your imperfection.

Then, the weirder problem is that it is the other party who betrays feelings, and it is the other party who destroys the relationship between two people. Why do you change when the other person remains the same? Why don't the other person think they have problems, but you think they are all problems?

There may be only one answer. You are afraid that the other party will abandon or leave you completely. It is normal to have such concerns, but the solution must not be compromise, right or wrong.

In love and marriage, we should learn not to care about trivial matters, but to stick to our three views on the issue of right and wrong. Right and wrong, how can marriage, family, feelings and life be happy?