How to see a person's accomplishment and realm?

There are too many beautiful faces and too few interesting souls in the world.

Many people talk about Wilde's words, but how many people really understand the meaning?

Interesting. It's too precious

The highest and most heartfelt appreciation of a person's personal charm is not beautiful and handsome, not excellent and successful, nor kind and diligent, but interesting.

Because it jumps out of fame and fortune and life experience, it has nothing to do with moral evaluation, but a rare and precious quality.

If someone praises you for being interesting, there is no doubt that he really praises your soul from the heart.

Probably because of this, there are many questions about "how to be an interesting person" in Zhihu. A man asked:

Living from nine to five, I'm exhausted. Fun is a kind of love, an investment and an open mind to life. So, how to be an interesting person?

What's the fun?

Only by knowing what it is can we know why. If you want to know how to be interesting, you must first know what is interesting.

Introspection, is my life interesting?

In life, interesting people enjoy the process instead of clinging to the result. Just like a trip, if a person only wants to reach the destination, then he must be bored in the process; On the contrary, if one enjoys this process, the time on the road must be pleasant.

Think of Shen Fu's article Childish Interest in Six Chapters of a Floating Life;

When I was a child, I could open my eyes to the sun and observe autumn in detail. When I see a little thing, I have to check its texture carefully, so I sometimes look for fun outside of things.

In summer, mosquitoes turn thunder, and privately plan to let a group of cranes dance in the air. If you want it, you will have a thousand, and if you want it, you will have a crane. Look up, Xiang Qiang.

Leave mosquitoes in an amateur tent, spray smoke and let them fly at the smoke, make them look like white cranes in Qingyun, and make them happy like cranes floating in the clouds?

Mosquitoes in summer are so annoying, but in Shen Fu's eyes, cranes are flying, and he will try to recreate them-slowly spray smoke on mosquitoes as a landscape of white cranes in Qingyun.

I love these four words very much. They are like a gift: what should be ordinary or even disturbing has turned into a surprise.

It's also true that you can have an interesting life.

I remember one summer night in college, the small band downstairs in the dormitory was playing African drums and singing Fish Leong on the guitar. While I was singing, I pressed the shower gel in the bathroom, and two small bubbles suddenly floated out of the bottle cap.

Suddenly, singing and bubbles seem to have an unspeakable chemical reaction, which makes me feel happy unconsciously in an instant-there are all kinds of little beauties in this world, but I just met them.

Therefore, an interesting life is a process of enjoying everything and turning trivial things into your own little surprises.

(2) In the eyes of others, am I an interesting person?

What is an interesting person? It seems difficult for us to draw a conclusion.

But we know that when a person gives us the feeling of "haha, I didn't expect you to be such a person", we will find him very interesting, that is, the legendary rebellious charm.

So in essence, fun is a pleasant accident, a surprise that has nothing to do with utility. People think you should, but you are not.

"I didn't expect you to be like this XX" often appears on the Internet, expressing a mockery of a person's reverse charm.

Wang Qingxiang, an old opera player, often uses expression packs and online expressions that young people like in Weibo, and likes games and video websites that young people like. His painting style is really inconsistent with the old artists in daily impressions, which makes everyone shout: Haha, I didn't expect you to be such an old opera bone.

He will use his own expression pack:

He can be cute:

He will also vomit himself:

For a time, the old man became an online celebrity, and there were countless circles. How can such a lovely and interesting old man not be loved?

Of course, some people think the old man is boring, just like Amy, a female scientist in The Big Bang Theory, who wears the same sweater and skirt and hangs out with monkeys all day. It seems a bit boring to others, but it is full of charm in Sheldon's eyes.

Therefore, fun is not absolute, but "relative fun".

Why do people always call me "funny" instead of "interesting"?

People often use ridicule to describe a person as funny, but being funny can also bring people a sense of pleasure. Why is teasing not funny?

In A Dream of Red Mansions, Xue Baochai commented on the difference between Lin Daiyu and Wang Xifeng, which quite accords with the difference between fun and funny.

Baochai laughed.

Everything in the world is gone when it comes to Feng's mouth. Fortunately, Miss Feng can't read and is not a big fan, but these are jokes about common customs. What's more, she used the method of Spring and Autumn Annals to summarize the vulgar language of common customs, delete its complexity, and polish it, for example, sentence by sentence.

So yesterday's joke was ridiculous, but it was also boring to recall. Although you think about each other's words carefully, they are all faint, but they have a taste in retrospect.

The difference between Wang Xifeng and Lin Daiyu lies in cultural accomplishment and taste.

Interesting is something accumulated. It will be very interesting if the accumulated cultural knowledge is applied to a joke. Teasing is a teasing of a person's instantaneous reaction, which is relatively lacking in depth and aftertaste.

Real fun means that the other person can give himself spiritual enjoyment and profound thinking, and ridicule means that the other person can entertain himself.

The ultimate difference between the two is the explicit taste (some people have taste but don't show it, so they can be interesting but choose to be funny).

The real difference in taste lies in the depth of thought and cultural accomplishment, and in the richness and profundity of the spiritual world.

How to make yourself interesting?

Now that we know what is interesting, how can we make ourselves interesting?

① knowledge reserve

As mentioned above, fun is related to one's cultural accomplishment. If you want to make yourself interesting, you must first improve your knowledge reserve.

Learn more knowledge; Experience more new things; Observe the wider world. Knowing more can ensure that you are not bored, so that you won't often "uh-huh, oh-oh" when chatting.

The ancients said, read thousands of books and take Wan Li Road. The books you have read and the roads you have traveled are all hidden in your temperament.

② Perception

There is a saying in Huai Nan Zi Shuo Shan Xun by Liu An, King of Huainan: How much is known when a leaf falls.

An accidental fallen leaf let him know that autumn was coming. If he didn't pay attention to the small details around him, he wouldn't feel this way.

Quite critical romance benefits from keen perception, just like an excellent poet and artist, but it is a pity that it hurts spring and mourns autumn; Good politicians can see that nothing will happen. They are keenly aware of the world and experience more things.

Feel the nuances of life as much as possible and distinguish them. Interesting people can keenly perceive the changes in the world and cause inner ripples. Only by discovering that the world is interesting first can it be interesting.

③ Clear preference

A person who always says "whatever" when ordering food may not be annoying, but it is not easy to remember. People are more likely to remember people with clear preferences, such as the person who likes meat very much and the vegetarian, rather than the person who says "whatever".

What many boring people have in common is that they have no preference.

The first interesting function is to please yourself. Without hobbies, there is no tool to please yourself.

I don't know what I like, I don't have hobbies, I don't have specialties, I go to work and get off work, two o'clock and one line. If you lose your job, it's simply boring.

Hobby is a very effective way to improve interest value, because if you like it, you will spend more time on what you love and learn more knowledge, thus broadening your knowledge.

Zhang Dai said: "People have no addiction to making friends, so they have no affection."

This kind of thing "addiction" can show the deep feelings of human beings. Having one or more "hobbies" can give you more opportunities to exceed each other's expectations and have more surprises, thus becoming more interesting.

I still remember a passage by Wang Zengqi in the preface to the grape month:

It is said that pear flowers are like snow and apple flowers are like snow. The snow is thick and not transparent.

What is pear flower like? The petals of a pear flower are made of the moon.

This gentleman, known as the most lyrical humanist, really lives up to his reputation. The world in the eyes of interesting people is lively, dreamy and full of infinite imagination.

No matter Shen Fu or Wang Zengqi, the words of people with high self-cultivation and high realm all reflect their love for life and open-minded attitude. Interesting people, isn't that what it is?

I hope that one day, you and I can both feel that "the petals of pear flowers are made of the moon".

May we all be interesting people.

Reference book: how to be an interesting person, Wang Xiaoquan?

Image: From the Internet

Author: intensive reading, what is it like in people? . In ordinary life, there is fragrance and sleeves.

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