Is the cheating person worthy of forgiveness (can you forgive the cheating partner)

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In love and marriage, the two most terrible words are cheating.

Because they have many strong women.

Understand gender equality.

But there are many fake women's rights that women can only rely on their own words.

There are many people in the plug-in, when their husbands cheat.

Still willing to divorce because I feel that there is no love.

In fact, many stars will forgive cheating now, for example, Xie, his wife, and Ma Yili, Wen Zhang's wife.

In fact, cheating has become a very normal thing now, and there is nothing strange about it.

It is because celebrities have that celebrity effect that they have a greater response than ordinary people.

But many netizens commented that they were stupid and they were speechless.

I think they are belittling themselves, but they are not.

Forgiveness is more about pointing at yourself than letting others go.

Many women are caught off guard after men cheat. They were good people. They cheated. How can they say they cheated?

After men cheat, some people choose to make a scene, and some people choose to be silent, but these methods can't get rid of the sting in their hearts, and they may get deeper and deeper.

In the face of a man's infidelity, we must first find out the reason for his infidelity.

Some men cheat just because the pictures are fresh, but only physically.

Some men cheat mentally and physically, such as extramarital affairs, which is an emotional connection.

There is redemption for physical infidelity, both for physical infidelity and emotional infidelity. Surely, your forgiveness is not enough. The other party may have been waiting for you to file for divorce.

If it's just a physical affair, the other party knows that he made a mistake and asks for forgiveness. He wants to forgive, but he can't!

"What would you do if your partner cheated on you?" In the survey, 18.2% of the post-90s generation chose to pretend not to know, and 2 1.8% of the post-80s generation chose to pretend not to know, but in fact, 5 1.5% of the post-60s generation chose to pretend not to know.

"Will you get divorced if you find the other half cheating?" 47. 1% of post-90s will choose divorce, while only 2 1. 1% of post-60s will choose divorce.

Spend all your money, manpower and even lower your self-esteem, just to save a derailed husband.

Someone comforted: you can cry, you don't need to be nervous!

Some people don't understand: why not divorce?

But more harshly: have you forgiven him after all this? What a tolerant leader!

Women cheat not necessarily for love, but to escape pain.

A woman who cheats doesn't necessarily love the one outside, but the one who doesn't love her at home.

It is normal and natural for men to think that they are cheating.

As long as it doesn't destroy the family!

I hope the red flag doesn't fall at home, and the colorful flags are fluttering outside. Very fulfilling. Very dignified.

I don't think about whether my wife can bear it at the moment of derailment.

No matter men or women, for whatever reason, cheating in marriage is disgusting.

Nowadays, many cheating men especially like nature. We will show you what director Chen Da called "golden sentence".

Before 17 cheated, Chen Sicheng talked about her views on marriage in a talk show. In the program, he said: Sometimes it is right to doubt polygamy. The motivation of many successful people is "having more women", which is a natural desire and inevitable. We should respect all natural things, but people nowadays pay too much attention to moral concepts. .........

It's so fresh and refined, I can't control my lower body ... I didn't say responsibility all the time, just clarified that such a situation will definitely happen.

It's the first time I've seen such a shameless person, and sure enough, his heart is bald.

In the face of cheating, the following skills may help you.

First of all, we should deal with our own trauma. After a stress event, when an intimate relationship is in an acute stress period, typical behaviors may include:

Emotional instability: switching back and forth between crying, anger and hope.

Sensitive and changeable: ruminate on the details of the whole incident and be particularly anxious about each other's behavior.

Sequela: insomnia, nightmares, inattention, avoidance (trauma scene or discussion of trauma)

Compulsive behavior: compulsive consumption, exercise, eating.

In the consulting room, I often see such moments:

When the couple finally spoke of their vulnerability, they could not say how relaxed they were.

They don't have to prick up, don't have a cold face, don't speak insincerely, and don't have to act. They embraced a steaming heart and another heart eager for warmth.

Because life has taught us to treat the people we love the most in the worst way.

Teach us to deceive ourselves and others; Control yourself and others; Hurt yourself and others.

What we lack is a set of methods to soften ourselves, relax ourselves and love ourselves.

The thorn in our hearts must be pulled out by ourselves, and no one can replace it except yourself.

When the husband was responsible for himself, he said to his wife in a trembling voice, "Your company is very important to me, and I need you."

When the wife was responsible for herself, she said to her husband, "When you cheated, I felt like a rotten rag."

They have forgotten these words and never want to mention them again.

That's why they can't forgive each other. Only hatred can help them stay away from the fear of expressing their needs.

The feelings of anger, hatred, sadness and insult after being betrayed are normal and must be dealt with.

Forgiveness can only begin when these emotions are healed.

At this stage, the key is to be self-centered, deal with your torn life and shame, and rebuild yourself and self-confidence, instead of giving all the firepower to each other first. %20

When a man reaches middle age, if his career is unsuccessful, it can also be attributed to luck and chance, while when a woman reaches middle age, she can only endure it silently. Even in the face of her husband's infidelity, she can only blame herself, whether she is young or not.

Middle-aged women are like duckweeds, vacillating in the whirlpool of family and unable to get out.

Yi Shu once said: At the age of forty, I am healthy, have a little savings, my husband is considerate, my children are obedient, and I have a job I really like. This is success. I don't have to be famous or rich.

However, most middle-aged women are sick, have no savings, their husbands are cheating, their children are rebellious, they have no jobs and no circles, and they are locked by life.

Social psychologists put forward a formula about the stable factors of intimacy:

Relationship stability = investment+satisfaction-substitutability

Simply put, the relationship is the most stable when both sides are constantly becoming better themselves.

This requires both husband and wife to keep learning and growing for the development of marriage.

They are not only husband and wife, but also partners.

Instead of treating marriage as a natural haven, an emotional trash can or even a long-term meal ticket.

If one of them keeps standing still and persists, it will eventually be eliminated by the other side.

Good marriages are mostly evenly matched.

Whether you can go on when your lover is cheating on you really depends on whether you want to tide over the difficulties or be alone.

In the face of partner's infidelity, forgiving or staying away is not the ultimate goal, but happiness.

If you forgive or stay away, you will be happier, then your decision is worthwhile.

On emotional issues, there is no right or wrong in how to choose, only willing or unwilling, regretting or not.

Among them, the most important attitude is to be honest with yourself and then tell each other frankly how you feel.

The most taboo is to force yourself, you can't accept it, you can't stand it, but you don't admit it.

Obviously, I am very narrow-minded in this matter, but I have to force myself to be a "father" and a "virgin" to show tolerance and compassion.

In other words, you love each other very much, but you force yourself to let go because you subconsciously think that choosing divorce is the most "politically correct", the most Japanese or the most dignified and chic behavior.

Lin Qingxuan said: What is ordinary love? Answer: unavoidable things.

Because of love, I care.

Facing his betrayal, it is even more difficult to calm down.

The deeper you love, the more you pay, the harder it is to let go and the more you care.

Because you love him, but he betrayed you.

So the more I think about it, the more angry I get. I can't let him go, and I can't let myself go.

So, that thorn is always in your heart, not only stabbing you, but also stabbing him.

There is a difference between love and marriage. Simple feelings are good for love, but marriage should be considered more.

There are fetters of children and family.

Therefore, it is not so easy to put it down and cut it off.

The other party has apologized and returned to the family, because you loved and forgave in principle.

In fact, at this time, you have forgiven him and chose a family.

However, after that, all I have to do is put myself down, put him down and forget about it.

Love is never a one-man show, and no one can play it well.

If there is still love, let him go, let yourself go!

If two kinds of feelings no longer like each other, say goodbye to each other and stop loss in the long-term pain, wouldn't it be a wise move?

Our official WeChat account: Qingyun Psychological Studio.

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National second-level psychological counselor, Tarot soothsayer, planetary energy healer, freelance writer and trainer.

The old soul who experiences love, the explorer of life path.

The important thing is: a psychologist who loves life seriously.

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