Bandit fortune-telling sketch _ bandit fortune-telling sketch full version

Scene 1:

Classmate A: Hoo, finally escaped!

Classmate B: Yes, it took the teacher a quarter of the time to finish talking about the changing world! In other words, we need to spend a quarter less time buying incense. ...

Classmate A: If only the boss could pick us up on the seven-color cloud!

Classmate B: Obviously this is impossible! Let's go quickly!

Scene 2:

Two students tried to sneak into the internet cafe and were caught by the boss.

Boss: Two students ...

Classmate a &；; B: Why?

Boss: Nothing. Do you have an ID card? Show it to me if you have it; If you don't show me, how do I know you haven't? I didn't know you had it until you showed it to me. But it seems that you have one, too. How can you come back to me without you? Now that you're here, that means you have it, right? If you really don't want it, I can't force you, can I? get in ...

Classmate a &；; B: Oh ~ ~ ~

Scene 3:

Two people in the internet cafe fought fiercely. CS classmate A &；; B: Let's go! Let's go Let's go

Classmate A: Bandits are all AK47! Flush the sewer!

Classmate B: There aren't three! Bandits, three heavy guns, suspension bridge! Suspension bridge!

Classmate A: Throw grenades and lightning!

Classmate B: B: Is C4 buried? Guys, go to section a!

Classmate A: Be careful, the policeman behind is angry!

Classmate B: Don't be afraid, I have helped you get rid of him!

Classmate A: Two people rushed through the political door, and M4 came out of the middle door!

Classmate B: Who bought the scissors? ~ ~ ~ Oh! B3 1 Good throw!

Classmate A: Pick up MP5 and rush out!

Classmate B: The machine comes out first to scare you!

Classmate A: The terrorists won!

Scene 4:

Boss: Oh! Captain, what brings you here? Long time no see! Come on, let's sit here for a while, have a cup of tea to warm up and have a cigarette!

Captains: No, it's a routine. How is business now? Have students been allowed in these two days?

Boss: Thanks to you, this small business is thriving. Look at the bustle inside! I thoroughly implement the above regulations, and there are absolutely no students in it!

Captains: Oh? When did you become so filial? Let me see!

Scene 5:

The battalion chief began to investigate, and the boss followed, hiding everywhere. Suddenly, the battalion chief saw a&; B.

Commander: How old are you two?

Classmate A: I'm tired. I want to meditate and fight together ... ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ (Classmate B starts to dress up).

Classmate A: Hehe, what do you think?

Captains: What about you?

Classmate B: (The voice can be bold) Me, I am forty years old.

Commander: I'm forty years old. Why is my skin so white?

Classmate B: I maintain it well! Haven't you heard: Rhapsody of July Flowers?

Captains: A flower? Um ... (turns to the boss)

Commander, what's wrong with you? How do these two students explain?

Boss: They? Um ... They ... Um ... Hey, how did you get in here? !

Commander: Don't play dumb with me! How do you enforce the newly promulgated regulations? !

Boss: Right, right, right. I see, I won't dare next time!

Captains: Here, the first offender is fined 5000 yuan.

Student A whispered to student B: Let's run.

Captains: Hey! Two children, come with me!

Student a &；; B: I left gently, just like I came gently and waved my mouse, leaving only a brilliant record!