Why can't pigs be officials?

It is said that one of the manifestations of a person's high intelligence level is rich imagination, and one of the manifestations of rich imagination is to pull two unrelated things together. I can't say that I have rich imagination, but I really don't want to give up the opportunity to flatter myself. Of course, if you have enough imagination, you can make your son older than your father, you can let the dog fly the plane and the cat sail the boat, and you can have a cross-dressing love like Pu Songling. But I found that my imagination was stretched and poor. So I associate pigs with officials, because I find that pigs and officials have a lot in common, which most people can perceive and don't need any imagination at all. When the British cloned Dolly the sheep, I even doubted whether I could clone an official from a pig. Maybe you will say me, you don't know what cloning is-even if I don't know. I occasionally heard the word "swineherd" when I was a child. As you know, I couldn't learn a few words when I was a child, so I always thought that "swineherd" should be "pig official". I take it for granted that the reason why pigs and officials are put together is because pigs and officials have too much in common. It's like later generations collectively referred to Lao Zi and Zhuangzi-a face of juryman, a fat head, a big belly and a bloated figure. You will say that not all officials are fat, but not all pigs are fat. Zhang Sijia's pigs are skinny when they are sick. This is an individual, and we are talking about the average. I will defend it then and now. Later, I realized that my understanding was wrong. I knew that the person in charge of pigs was called a swineherd, which means that people can be officials of pigs, but why can't pigs be officials of people? My theory is based on the equality of all beings in Buddhism-people can be officials of pigs and pigs can be officials of human beings. Then all kinds of fortune-telling books say that people who look like pigs are big officials, and pigs look no more like pigs than people who look like pigs? Finally, I made a detailed comparison between Ah Zhu and the village head at home, and I found that Ah Zhu was more qualified to be an official. This is because: first, the village chief is extravagant and wasteful, and the pigs live a simple life. Our village head is as extravagant and wasteful as many officials, but it cannot be said that many officials are as extravagant and wasteful as our village head. This undoubtedly shows that our village head is the most extravagant and wasteful, but it is not in line with the facts. What we want is to be realistic-if we don't care, our village head loves to drink, and he will drink (the so-called "meeting" means drinking too much, but not bleeding from the stomach). But our village head has a big problem, that is, he opens three bottles of wine at the same time, one is Wuliangye, the other is Confucius and the other is Maotai. But you must know that our village head, like many officials, pays attention to emotional appeal and atmosphere. Light music is brewing at a slow pace under the light that is not very vague. The smell of light makes people feel ambiguous, and music makes people feel a little tired. Our village head sat at the banquet table full of delicacies, slowly picked up the glass and tasted it bit by bit ... Of course, you know, our village head has a good appetite, and his stomach can't hold three bottles of wine. Our village head has his own way of dealing with it, spraying wine on the ground like wine. But what about our pigs? You feed it with dusty grass, and it eats; You feed it corn flour and bran flour, and it eats; It eats whatever you feed it, as long as it can be swallowed. Don't even talk about emotional appeal. Its tableware is full of mud inside and outside, and even its dining room, bedroom and toilet are integrated. We can rest assured that it is an official. Second, the village head can kiss up, but the pig head can't kiss up. Our village head, like your boss, will bow and scrape one after another when he meets officials taller than him. It looks like a dog punched by its owner, or a chicken shivering in the rain. If our village head meets more than one official with a higher position than him, he will still be like a chicken, but without three heads and six arms. But you should know that our village head, like your boss, can correctly handle contradictions among the people and treat leaders and the masses separately. As soon as our village head saw the crowd, he held his head high and looked straight at the sky, which made us children look at the sky, thinking that there was an eclipse or a fairy arrival, and looked at nothing for a long time. However, our pigs are very pure. It has no idea what snobbery is. No matter who you are, it won't look up to you. No matter who you are, it won't look down on you. In its eyes, there is no difference between God and the devil. Great people don't get any respect, and little people don't despise them. As for flattery, I don't even know. United Nations President Kofi Annan visited it and took a look. We can rest assured that it is an official. Third, the village chief is greedy, and the pigs don't accept a penny. Our village head is as greedy as your boss. Once our village head was critically ill and dying. His parents and children are crying by the bed. His wife rushed home from the airport, called the family an idiot, rummaged through everything, took out tens of thousands of dollars of air tickets and put them in front of the village head's bed. Our village head immediately turned the corner, like a fish dying of thirst, and got new water. But you know, our village head has a new water source. Our pigs have no idea what money is in the world. Giving it a lot of tickets can't stop it from dying, and even sleeping with money can't wake it up. You don't have to doubt the result. Just try it. You want to knock on the back door with money-no way. We can rest assured that it is an official. Fourth, the village head works and the pigs sleep. Our village head, like your boss, is an idle fellow. His job is nothing more than going to karaoke bars, showing tickets at nightclubs and then taking a sauna. Everyone knows that this is no different from scalding a dead pig. The only difference is that the pool belongs to our village head, and there are dead pigs in the basin. But our pigs have never set foot in these luxurious places. He just slept in the pigsty one by one. Although our pig is lazy, you know he never spends money, even if you teach him to be bad, it won't be bad, which means he can effectively resist the invasion of capitalist bad atmosphere. We can rest assured that it is an official. We can easily see that our pigs are more qualified to be officials than our village head and your boss. However, some people worry that our pigs will be smart and greedy one day, but you don't have to be afraid-if ordinary people can't manage officials, everyone in this position is the same; Now that we have been fed enough, it is better to continue feeding like this than to feed the thin again (a villager in Shanxi explained why he chose a corrupt official)-you know, our pig is so fat that it has lost its oil, and our village head and your boss used to be, are and will always be thin people who can't feed fat. If our pig, our village head and your boss become candidates at the same time, please vote for our pig.