Song Xiao's fortune telling.

[Reward] Zhao Benshan's sketch "Blind Date 2" script

Zhao Haiyan: Gaha is gone. Get up early in the morning?

Zhao Benshan: I bought you breakfast. I bought it all back.

Zhao Haiyan: I eat this stuff every day. I've had enough. I won't eat it.

Zhao Haiyan: Sit down and walk.

Zhao Benshan: Why do you always call me out? What happened?

Zhao Haiyan: I want you to vacate this house. I want to use it.

Zhao Benshan: What?

Zhao Haiyan: Can't you guess?

Zhao Benshan: Another blind date?

Zhao Haiyan: That's right.

Zhao Benshan: Why did you bring this up at the end of the year? Who is this?

Zhao Haiyan: It wasn't my blind date. I just met a new sister.

Zhao Benshan: Who are your sisters dating?

Zhao Haiyan: Find a date for the sisters.

Zhao Benshan: Get someone to go to his wife's. What are you doing here?

Zhao Haiyan: That's right. Everyone goes to the man's house for blind date. The key is that the man's house is not good, and there is no room at 1000 meters.

Zhao Benshan: That song again, right?

Zhao Haiyan: You are very clever. You guessed it.

Zhao Benshan: No, why are you always worried about him? He came on a blind date last year and jumped off the sixth floor. Why didn't he fall dead and come back?

Zhao Haiyan: Ah, why should I introduce him? Is he not your rival in love? You can rest assured if you arrange him out. Let me know as soon as you go out to dance yangko.

Zhao Benshan: You can really praise him like that and return my rival in love. This is what we have been doing. I'm not allowed in. I have already paid the toll, haven't I? So I can't go out?

Zhao Haiyan: It's not good not to go out, so you can really stay out. The lady must arrive first, so you can help receive her.

Zhao Benshan: How?

Zhao Haiyan: Say a good word and praise Xiao Song.

Zhao Benshan: Ah, praise him for being 1.7 meters tall. That one is white and clean, and my eyes are bursting. Oh, my God, we lied again.

Zhao Haiyan: Are you talking in there?

Zhao Benshan: What should I praise him for? Tell me.

Zhao Haiyan: Praise merit.

Zhao Benshan: Really?

Zhao Haiyan: Can you dance yangko? Will you be considerate? The spirit of being positive and optimistic is just a joke to others, do you?

Zhao Benshan: You go to a mental hospital and listen everywhere.

Zhao Haiyan: Praise him.

Zhao Benshan: OK, I like it. Is it our common wish to send Xiao Song away? Is it?

Zhao Haiyan: Nothing. The room is clean enough for burial. I'll get someone to clean the house!

Zhao Benshan: OK, I'm with him. It gets worse every day.

Sun Lirong: Is this Haiyan's house?

Zhao Benshan: Huh? Ah, coming!

Sun Lirong: Hello!

Zhao Benshan: Are you dating? Sit down.

Sun Lirong: What about Haiyan?

Zhao Benshan: Didn't you meet me when I first went out?

Sun Lirong: That's interesting. I hid.

Zhao Benshan: Sit down. It's okay to sit there. Can I put it here (take Sun Lirong's clothes) for you? How do you know Haiyan?

Sun Lirong: We met in the choir. Haiyan always taught me to dance yangko, so I figured it out. Do I dance yangko or not?

Zhao Benshan: I'm telling you, don't be awkward. It should be easy to get hurt when playing.

Sun Lirong: What did you hurt? I don't walk on stilts either? You can't beat me.

Zhao Benshan: He didn't step on Gao Qiao and hurt himself. I hurt myself. I was hurt by dancing yangko.

Sun Lirong: What's that for?

Zhao Benshan: Stop nagging. Did Haiyan introduce you to the situation here?

Sun Lirong: I haven't introduced it in detail. What else should I introduce? This is obvious.

Zhao Benshan: You don't choose his size, do you?

Sun Lirong: The size is fine.

Zhao Benshan: Come on, stand up and let me see how tall you can be.

Sun Lirong: Big Brother is too direct. We played as soon as we met.

Zhao Benshan: Then stand up! Let me measure it.

(Zhao reaches from Sun's head to his chest with his hand)

Zhao Benshan: Gee, he has to add a cushion and eight insoles.

Sun Lirong: There is no need to add insoles. Size is not an issue.

Zhao Benshan: Size is not an issue. What about the black spots?

Sun Lirong: Black looks strong and white looks healthy.

Zhao Benshan: What if there is no house?

Sun Lirong: The house is very nice. I have a house. I am alone now. I live in a house of more than 100 square meters.

Zhao Benshan: Well, on your terms, black is not a problem, nor is small. This means that there is no problem, so I can solve it with him.

Sun Lirong: What about you, big brother?

Zhao Benshan: OK, I'll wash some fruit for you. You go to the back room for a while. She will be back soon. Go to the back room.

Zhao Haiyan: Song, Song, you piece of shit. You are at home, so you must back down. Let's go.

Song Xiaobao: Haiyan, you said my heart was pounding, but my throat was narrow and thick.

Zhao Haiyan: If it is over, what are you afraid of? Just go on a blind date, and that woman won't eat you!

Song Xiaobao: I'm not afraid of my wife. I'm afraid of your cousin.

Zhao Haiyan: Why are you afraid of him?

Song Xiaobao: Does he still live in the back room?

Zhao Haiyan: Yes.

Song Xiaobao: Hey, Haiyan, can you find a way to get rid of him? Can I talk to my wife's singles?

Zhao Haiyan: Would you stop worrying so much? Your cousins are very nice. They all put in a good word for you.

Song Xiaobao: Cancer, is that right?

Zhao Haiyan: Stop inking and come in. I'm back!

Zhao Benshan: Oh, here we are! Who is this?

Song Xiaobao: Me!

Zhao Benshan: Huh?

Zhao Haiyan: It's Song.

Zhao Benshan: Why do you wear glasses? Are your eyes broken?

Song Xiaobao: No, Haiyan told me. Wearing glasses doesn't look like a diploma.

Zhao Benshan: Hehe, what's the temperature? Imai, you don't have lenses here!

Song Xiaobao: See how you always expose me!

Zhao Benshan: I'm telling you, this woman is nice. Stop pretending. This is an opportunity that should be seized.

Zhao Haiyan: Coming?

Zhao Haiyan: How was the chat?

Zhao Benshan: I laid it.

Zhao Haiyan: Inside, Li Rong!

Ah, Yan, you are back. What are you hiding for? Who is this?

Song Xiaobao: Hello, let me introduce myself. Me, Haiyan and I are partners, dancing yangko together. Haiyan, why do you think I've missed something recently? I can't sleep in the middle of the night. I've been reading. I have been fascinated by those three countries recently. You said that the Tang Priest in it made me angry, so I wouldn't let the Monkey King beat that white. If you want me to say that Bajie is the rarest among them, you have to say. . .

Zhao Benshan: Come on, come on, what are you reading here? It's a mess! Reading picture books?

Zhao Haiyan: Too much reading!

Song Xiaobao: No, it's annoying.

Zhao Benshan: Tell you what, can you talk to her?

Zhao Haiyan: Li Rong, what's in the room? You are talking in this room. You go to the back room (tell Zhao Benshan)!

Sun Lirong: Yan, let's talk face to face.

Zhao Haiyan: No, you two talk first. I'll talk to him first. Go ahead.

Zhao Benshan: I like it. I haven't been in this house for a year!

Song Xiaobao: What's your name?

Sun Lirong: You call me Li Rong!

Song Xiaobao: Rong Er! I am you, jing elder brother!

Zhao Benshan: Why did you change your surname?

Song Xiaobao: You AE! Ha ha ha ha ha (laughs). .

Sun Lirong: You are so funny, hehehe. .

Song Xiaobao: Just kidding, just kidding. Come on, let me have a closer look. Oh, big brother!

Zhao Benshan: Huh?

Song Xiaobao: Have you noticed?

Zhao Benshan: What are you doing with flowers? What's the matter?

Song Xiaobao: Have you noticed? Look at her. This is a blessing. Look at her. Oh, heaven is complete, and the place is Fiona Fang, with fine eyes and blasted eyes.

Sun Lirong: It's windy these two days, and nothing has been blown.

Song Xiaobao: You don't have to wipe it. You look so forgetful. How old is your dad?

Zhao Benshan: Why did you die for so many years? What is this?

Song Xiaobao: Cousin, I said forget, forget my husband, hehehehehe. .

Zhao Benshan: Forgot?

Sun Lirong: That's interesting. All right, old man, it's been years.

Song Xiaobao: That old man in Wang Fu looks like a dead man. I have to read his palm.

Sun Lirong: Haiyan, look at you. Introduce anyone casually and find a fortune teller.

Zhao Haiyan: Gee, sister, you have poor understanding. He is not a fortune teller. Well, he knows a lot, is knowledgeable and reads accurately. Let's see.

Song Xiaobao: There will be good and bad.

Song Xiaobao: Oh, my God, look at it.

Zhao Benshan: Yes,

Song Xiaobao: This is your love line. Prove that your old man is in his mid-thirties and has no land. When he is 467, you will be 467 this year.

Sun Lirong: Forty-six.

Song Xiaobao: Don't make noise! Ha ha ha ha. . Our life, especially! Look at you. You are the fate of water, I am the fate of wood, and I am the fate of the bottom of the ship. I'm not afraid of your blisters, but not too big. Don't push me into the inner room. The eldest brother in the inner room is the fire of life. Don't burn me. You said it was funny, but it wasn't. Ha ha ha (laughs). . . .

Zhao Benshan: Ha ha ha ha. . . . This is a flower. This is a flower for you. Take them with you. Didn't you believe in constellations last year? How can this be a life?

Song Xiaobao: Oh, my God, that was last year. Last year I believed in the constellation, and this year I believe in the five elements (háng).

Sun Lirong: That's the five elements.

Song Xiaobao: Say it and listen to you. Jin Mu has a 60-year cycle of fire, water and soil. Jin Kemu, Muke soil, Tuke water, and water can kill fire.

Zhao Benshan: You hit me.

Song Xiaobao: Eight blind people, we are not a couple. How can we stop you? What is your life like?

Zhao Benshan: I am a bad karma.

Sun Lirong: You see, you were born for me, but you gave birth to me.

Zhao Benshan: God, I need to talk to someone who can give birth to your dirty play.

Zhao Haiyan: Song, go to the back room and talk to your big brother for a while. My sister is fine?

Song Xiaobao: Good.

Zhao Benshan: Everyone agrees?

Sun Lirong: Good.

Zhao Benshan: Not too dark, is it?

Sun Lirong: It's white.

Song Xiaobao: You're talking about teeth, right? That means, big brother, I'll tell you a story, big sister, and you listen. One day that year, it was dark and I went out for a walk. I just walked under the street lamp and saw a woman, so I grinned at her. The woman took one look at me and ran away, shouting as she ran. Oh, my God, damn it! Whose teeth become thin and float out by themselves! Then I stopped going out in the middle of the night after the Five Classics for fear of scaring people. Ha ha ha ha ha (laughs). . . .

Zhao Haiyan: Song, go over there.

Zhao Benshan: Come on, don't be so messy. I tell you, you must master this woman, don't you understand? Very educated. Educated, you know? Oh, you can't do that. You have to practice speaking, not just spitting, but also improving your cultural quality. Tell you what, I'll teach you a poem and read more books. Didn't you say you read? This is Gorky's poem.

Song Xiaobao: Which yangko team is Gorky from?

Zhao Benshan: From the Soviet Yangko Team.

Song Xiaobao: Have you ever participated in a competition?

Zhao Benshan: Yes.

Song Xiaobao: Who is Gorky?

Zhao Benshan: Golf is his big brother.

Song Xiaobao: Who is golf?

Zhao Benshan: Golf is like you and me. Why don't you know anything? He is a poet and writer.

Song Xiaobao: Big Brother! Because this culture is still anxious with me.

Zhao Benshan: This kind of culture is terrible without culture.

Zhao Benshan: Here, take this poem. This is Gorky's Haiyan! Let's go

Song Xiaobao: Brother, give me a sample.

Zhao Benshan: I'll teach you how to recite poems later. You must be confident. Chest resonance, oral cavity resonance, brain cavity resonance, several resonance together, understand?

Song Xiaobao: Ah. . .

Zhao Benshan: Ah! ! !

Sun Lirong: What happened?

Zhao Haiyan: Here comes the game. What about training?

Zhao Benshan: On the vast sea, dark clouds are gathering. ...

Song Xiaobao: Crazy and breezy.

Zhao Benshan: Can I still study? The storm is gathering dark clouds. Between the dark clouds and the sea, there is a petrel flying proudly.

Song Xiaobao: Oh, my God.

Zhao Haiyan: What are you doing? You said that two sisters in this room were chattering and kept saying hello to me. Gaha also called me arrogant.

Zhao Benshan: What does it have to do with you? Being a neighbor with you is really painful. Why is there no culture and poetry here? Remember? The most important thing is to shout out the first sentence. I'll let him practice his culture if it's okay. It's quite cultured. Go! Go and show it!

(beside Sun) Ah! ! ! !

Zhao Haiyan: Sister.

Song Xiaobao: Big Brother! You see, you scared the big sister, and she was anxious (meaning trembling).

Sun Lirong: Gaha should surprise me. I'm not ready. What kind of drama should I watch?

Song Xiaobao: Don't be afraid. I will read you a golf poem.

Zhao Benshan: The key.

Song Xiaobao: The foundation of golf.

Zhao Benshan: Gorky's husband, Poetry! !

Song Xiaobao: Poetry! !

Zhao Benshan: Read!

Song Xiaobao: Ah. . . . In Cangtu (Changtu). .

Zhao Benshan: Now that you are in Siping, why are you going to Tieling? .

Zhao Benshan: Cang ~ Mang.

Song Xiaobao: pale ~ ~ awn.

Song Xiaobao: On the boundless sea, the strong wind rolled up dark clouds. Between the dark clouds and the sea, there is a petrel, trying to bridge the gap for us. Let's meet here and fall in love here. Jesus, big brother. Ha ha ha ha (laughs). . .

Sun Lirong: Why is it so interesting, Song?

Song Xiaobao: Dude, you are putting the duck on the shelf.

Zhao Benshan: What should we do? This is a good poem suitable for you to read like this. Oh, my God.

Zhao Haiyan: Sister Song is very humorous. Optimism is always like this, haha.

Zhao Benshan: I said, anything to say?

Song Xiaobao: There's nothing to say.

Zhao Benshan: There's nothing to say. Then it's settled, okay? What's in it? Haiyan, can I borrow your room for a meal? Let's have a drink.

Sun Lirong: No more meals.

Zhao Haiyan: By the way, what are you going to eat here? It's not my fault. When we went out to eat and chat, it was so romantic, wasn't it?

Zhao Haiyan: See you at the Yangko Team another day, sis. Listen to your good news. Let's go! (Turning to Zhao) If you stay in your room, you can't go there.

Sun Lirong: Brother, where are we going to eat?

Song Xiaobao: Anywhere!

Sun Lirong: Are you going to Gaha?

Song Xiaobao: Didn't you agree that we should go out and talk alone?

Sun Lirong: Is your life over?

Song Xiaobao: Hmm!

Sun Lirong: These are all for you. Go home. Brother, let's go!

Zhao Benshan: I'm not going.

Song Xiaobao: What manners do you think you have?

Zhao Benshan: Nothing. You two get out. I eat at home.

Song Xiaobao: Oh, my God! ! !

Sun Lirong: I think we all agree that at this age, you are welcome, so you can stay with me.

Song Xiaobao: Haiyan, how could I be cheated? Who was this woman introduced to?

Zhao Haiyan: Zhao Laohan, open your hand.

Zhao Benshan: Ah.

Zhao Haiyan: I told you to spread your hands! !

Zhao Benshan: She caught me.

Zhao Haiyan: Sister, you gaha, you pass, you gaha? Zhao Laohan, what do you mean?

Zhao Benshan: What do I mean?

Zhao Haiyan: I asked you what you mean.

Zhao Benshan: What do you mean? ! I don't understand. Do you think I'm in the way in the bathroom? I found a woman and shook me away. Are you two happy here? Who can't see this?

Zhao Haiyan: That's a dirty lie.

Zhao Benshan: Why did I spray you?

Zhao Haiyan: You have no conscience. Did I mention that?

Zhao Benshan: What did you say?

Zhao Haiyan: Our divorce is true. I can't help it There is no such thing as a toilet in the house. Who are you looking for? I've never stood in your way like that. I don't want to introduce people. Are you here?

Zhao Benshan: How did I pry it?

Zhao Haiyan: How did you do it without prying your hand?

Zhao Benshan: You gave it to me. How should I know?

Sun Lirong: I see, Yan. I totally misunderstood. Who did you introduce me to?

Song Xiaobao: Not so good.

Sun Lirong: This is your wife?

Zhao Haiyan: Yes!

Zhao Benshan: No, I'm not. We are neighbors. I've been living outside.

Oh, Yan, I'm not talking about you. Why don't such a good old man cherish it? How's this? You two are divorced?

Zhao Haiyan: Ah!

Zhao Benshan: I was divorced a long time ago.

Sun Lirong: Well, big brother, she doesn't want you. I want you. She's always with me. Let's leave now.

Zhao Haiyan: You spread it.

Sun Lirong: I don't think you want it.

Zhao Haiyan: Zhao Laohan, I dare you to leave this room.

Zhao Benshan: Sister, thank you very much. Today was a misunderstanding. Big brother is not so blessed. I have been stingy all my life. This heart is in this woman, and we and I can't do it. You are very kind. See if you can. . . Ah. .

Sun Lirong: Look at this place, big brother. I feel sorry for you. Let me leave you a business card. You can come to my place if you are angry. We can't be married. I will support you like a brother. Ah, here.

Zhao Haiyan: I'll keep it for you.

Zhao Benshan: Here is my business card.

Sun Lirong: Yan Er, I see.

Song Xiaobao: Anything else? Can I have one?

Sun Lirong: Go away, that Yaner, I'm going back. Anyway, I thank you. You can find me a wife in the future, and choose for me like my big brother. That thing has nothing to do with humans. Don't introduce me. I am so angry!

Zhao Benshan: Sister, you have to take this thing.

Sun Lirong: Zhao Haiyan will bring it to me later. I won't.

Song Xiaobao: I'll give it back to her later.

Zhao Haiyan: I tell you, Zhao Laohan, you can't leave this house from now on, even if you are a mummy. I'm sorry to shake you once a year.

Song Xiaobao: It doesn't matter. I'm used to it. Haiyan, you can have a snack. References can introduce you. I think you are very capable, but you are not productive. I'll tell you about Haiyan, this and that, and the mainland. I think it's only you who criticize me. You see your color loss (s: i).

Zhao Benshan: In the vast sea, the wind gathers dark clouds. There is a petrel between the dark clouds and the sea. You can eat snacks.