Youth

"Grandma-grandma-"Little Ruicheng, who is more than 3 years old, called away the photo of my mother in my mobile phone again. "Dad, can grandma hear me calling her?"

"I can hear you, grandma. I am so happy to hear you call her! " My voice trembled and my eyes were moist.

It is another spring, and the cauliflower is yellow again. My mother left us for three years. In the past three years, I have been thinking about her all the time, and I often live in my dreams with her as usual. I often have the illusion that I go downstairs to the residential unit after work and feel that she is still sitting in the balcony window looking at me; On the way back to my hometown in Jiangsu, I felt that she was still busy planning meals at home, looking forward to me; When I came back from my hometown, I felt that she was still standing at the intersection and waving to me. ...

My mother was born in 1949. She is short and thin. She has short hair, which is common in her generation. We called her "girl's hair" there. She is a kind, hardworking and strong ordinary rural woman.

When my mother gave birth to me, only my aunt was at home to play with her. My aunt heard her mother say that she had a stomachache in the middle of the night, so she quickly called her third aunt who lived behind the house, and invited my grandmother who had experience in delivering babies urgently ... My mother brought me into this world when she was almost unconscious after bleeding, and even ate and drank two bowls of brown sugar boiled cakes in one breath before she recovered. My mother and I are both cows. Three years later, my sister joined my family.

My father has been highly nearsighted since he was a child. He taught in a foreign village in his early years and later transferred to the primary school in his village. My mother is no less backward than others in planting a few acres of land at home. There are pigs at home. Mother cleans the pigsty at both ends every three days, and sows give birth to piglets. She spread soft straw on the pigsty early and cooked broken rice porridge to nourish the sow. She also raises pigs for the brigade. Once, a sow of the brigade was going to give birth. After my mother made all the preparations, my sister and I, who were restless at home, trotted home to see us. By the time she got back to the pigsty, a group of chubby pigs had climbed all over the floor.

12 years old, my father sent me to study in the county and lived in my aunt's house. Since then, I have lived with my family. I can't forget the helplessness and suffering of homesickness when I left my mother. One noon, I went back to my aunt's house after school. I heard that my mother is in the street, walking from the boathouse to menstruation's house. I quickly turned and ran to the port. Seeing my mother coming from a distance, I couldn't help crying and shouting and rushed to hug her. It seems that I have a lot of grievances and bitterness, and I want to tell my mother. My mother hugged me and wiped my tears. She kept saying "sweetheart, sweetheart …". Every weekend afternoon, my mother will put down what she wants to do and wait for me to come back. I sometimes catch a boat in the village, but such opportunities are rare. Many times, it is the last boat to catch the neighboring village. When you get off the boat, you will fly three or four miles home. After riding a bike, I will ride my bike directly to the Shangguan River Ferry across the village on weekends, let go of my voice and shout "Cross the river-cross the river-",and the ferryman will ferry. Sometimes it gets dark early when it's windy and rainy, and so does my uncle. I shouted several times by the river, a little desperate. I vaguely heard my mother's voice in the wind and rain: "Man Gang, don't be afraid, ah, mom will come soon." Soon, on the rough river, the vague and swaying shadows gradually became clear. My mother is rocking a boat.

In the first few years, my mother gave me one yuan pocket money every week. Later, I boarded at school and went to the cafeteria to eat. One dollar rose to ten dollars. At that time, because of my father's poor management of the school, my family's economy was in trouble, and my mother was reluctant to eat the eggs of the chickens at home. She keeps them in a green crock and sells them once in a while. At this moment, I fell in love with calligraphy and bought some copybooks, brushes, rice paper, calligraphy and literary magazines with my living expenses. Many years later, I chatted with my mother, and she also mentioned it. I felt that the living expenses given to me at that time were too small, which often made me reluctant to buy school supplies. Alas, mother's heart!

My father owed a lot of money when he ran the factory. Every year, many debt collectors step on my doorstep, and my mother suffers a lot of grievances for no reason. A few hard-earned money saved from other places was given to the debtor before it got hot. During the Spring Festival, people celebrate the New Year, and my family celebrates the New Year. A few years ago, debtors would show up in a hurry. I don't know how many kind words my mother said to others and how many tears she secretly shed. My sister and I are both teenagers, and we feel inferior when we are in debt. The villagers advised their mother to look ahead, and her mother told others that if she looked at a pair of children at home, she would have to get through this period.

When I graduated from high school, my family planted several acres of cotton fields. It's the season to pick cotton when you fail to come home. Every day, I accompany my mother to pick cotton in a cotton field with a height of one person. I feel uneasy: When can I break a path by relying on my hobbies and specialties, so that I can share my worries for my family and let my mother enjoy it? ! At the end of that year, under the reluctance and persuasion of my parents, I put on the flower of glory, followed the big army to sit on the sweltering tank train in the north, and joined the army in a military camp in Zibo, Shandong. I have never been far away, and the life of the recruits is tense and strict. My mother is not at ease at home. She cried alone when she missed me, and asked the blind to tell my fortune. The blind man said to her, "Your good cow is doing well, so don't worry about it." Coincidentally, every step of my life in the army was helped by distinguished people, and I was promoted from a soldier to an officer. So my mother believed the blind fortune teller.

After getting married and having children in the army, parents have to travel thousands of miles every year to help take care of their children. Every time they bring a lot of bags, there are newly harvested fragrant rice in the field, newly harvested soybeans and broad beans in the private plot, as well as smoked goose, beef, sausage, fish balls and so on. I like eating crabs sometimes. Father can't see, and mother should help him step by step. I don't know how she got on the bus with such a heavy thing.

I have been away for more than 20 years, and every time I go back to my hometown, it is my mother's happiest day. As if waiting for a distant relative, she made the bed early, prepared my favorite hometown dishes, and pricked up her ears to pay attention to the footsteps in the alley at the door. On weekdays, all the little problems that hurt here and there are gone. The night before departure, my mother likes to chat with me late, telling me to drink less when going out, take more clothes when going out, and so on. There is always something to talk about. The next morning, she saw me on the bus and waved to me. The bus has gone a long way, and she is still standing there.

My parents are too old to be around to fulfill my son's responsibilities, which is the most self-blaming and guilty thing in my life. With more money, I chose a two-bedroom second-hand house near my sister's home in xinghua city to help my parents settle down in the city. I will go back to visit them as soon as I have time. Every time I give my mother some money, my mother refuses. I said it was my son's filial piety, and she said that your father had a salary in her pocket. When I talk to my neighbors, I often tell them proudly that I am enjoying my son's blessing!

Mother has been looking forward to having grandchildren. After the country implemented the two-child policy, she mobilized us to have another child. This is also God's wish. 2065438+June 2007, my son Ruicheng was born, and my mother was so happy that she couldn't keep her mouth shut. She remembered, glanced at it, touched it, hugged it, and smiled and said to me, "Just like when you were a child!" " 20 18 when I went home for the Spring Festival, my parents held a ceremony for my little grandson in advance. When I left my hometown, my mother comforted us that in another month, after Tomb-Sweeping Day, I would go to the east to take care of my grandson.

The rape blossoms in my hometown are in bloom, and it's almost Tomb-Sweeping Day. After getting up in the morning of February 13 of the lunar calendar, it seems that there is still a thin layer of fog outside the window. My mobile phone rang in a hurry, and my heart suddenly "hitched". My sister never called me at this time ... "My mother had a sudden cerebral hemorrhage in the morning and was dying." A few minutes later, my sister's crying came from the mobile phone: "Brother, mom left ..."

For many years, I was most worried and afraid of receiving this call, which suddenly made me paralyzed and erratic. I worked hard and took my family to my hometown in Xinghua, Jiangsu. My mind is like a montage in a movie. All I flashed were bits and pieces in my mother's memory, and tears kept flowing silently. How I wish this were a dream. Biting your lips obviously hurts. Back to my familiar hometown, the door was covered with ghost paper sent by the villagers, and several bundles of burning paper were burning cigarettes. A room full of people is busy, and my mother lies peacefully on the mat in the middle of the room with her eyes closed. Two aunts stood on my feet and sobbed, "Finn, Mann just got back!" " ! The grandchildren you've been thinking about all day are back! "I couldn't help myself, kneeling beside my mother and crying. ...

As if that familiar song sounded in my ear-

Someone will help you with your new schoolbag.

Someone gave you an umbrella in the rain.

He asked someone to wrap your favorite three-fresh stuffing.

Someone will wipe away your wronged tears.

You live in a foreign country and some people are worried about you.

When you returned to the house, someone was making hot tea.

You are lying in a hospital bed, and someone is crying.

When you show that smile, someone will bloom happily.

……

I remember a passage I read: "I cried twice in my life." Once, at the beginning of my life; Once, at the end of your life. The first time, I won't remember, I heard you say it; The second time, you don't know. It's no use telling me. "

In this way, I lost my most selfless woman-my mother-forever and became a "rootless grass".

Mother's ashes have been provided at home for more than a year. On October 25th and 29th of the second lunar month, my father had my mother's ashes buried next to my grandparents' graves in the southwest corner of the village. Standing there, you can see the fields and people in Pingwangzhuang, the mother's home. On the way to see my mother buried, I walked at the front of the queue with my mother's urn in my hand, and obviously felt that my mother's ashes were getting heavier and heavier in my hands. I need to hold her tightly in my arms, and hold her tighter and tighter to avoid slipping. I silently said to my mother in my heart, "Mom, my son knows that you are reluctant to leave me, so let me hold you tight!" " You will live in your son's heart forever. "Along the way, from time to time, my aunt and grandmother stared at me with tears in her eyes and said to me," Man Gang, my family has come to see my mother off! " I nodded in tears.

I put my mother's photo in my mobile phone and always carry it with me. When you miss her alone, just open your eyes and stare. When Xiaoruicheng was one and a half years old, he began to babble. I pointed to her mother's photo and told him that it was grandma. He shouted "Grandma-Grandma-"in front of the photo. Later, she often told me to look at the photos in her mobile phone and call her grandmother.

Looking at his heroic little appearance, I often secretly sigh: if my mother is still alive, how happy it would be!

(Image from the Internet)

Author's brief introduction Wang Mangang, a native of Xinghua, Jiangsu Province,1enlisted in a certain army in Zibo, Shandong Province in June, 1992, and now works in Zibo Customs. I like writing and have published dozens of literary articles in various newspapers and new media platforms. I am a member of Shandong Prose Society and Zibo Network Writers Association.

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