Fortune Telling Collection - Fortune-telling birth date - A complete set of jokes that make people laugh in a few seconds.

A complete set of jokes that make people laugh in a few seconds.

A complete set of jokes that make people laugh in a few seconds.

Everyone should have a good mood, but many times we are in a good mood. When you are unhappy or depressed, you can watch some short jokes, which can quickly relieve your mood. Here are some funny jokes.

The joke that makes people laugh every second 1 (1) is a funny waste during the day and a depressed monster at night.

We are best friends. You tell me your embarrassing story, and I can help solve it, but let me smile first.

(3) Tanabata is here, and it's time to go back to heaven and have a heart-to-heart talk with Yue Lao.

(4) Being familiar with 300 love poems is invincible in the world.

When you encounter misfortune, remember to smile at yourself in the mirror, so that you will find that this misfortune is nothing compared with your strength.

(6) Most people only see how high you fly, and those who care about you will care about whether you are tired or not. Nobody's curious about how you can fly?

(7) Be modest, listen to other people's opinions, and then carefully write down who has opinions on you.

(8) Say that money is evil and fishing; Say beauty is a disaster, everyone wants it; It is said that the height is too cold and everyone is climbing; Say that alcohol and tobacco hurt the body and don't quit; Say heaven is the best, don't go!

(9) After you marry me, you can wash the dishes if you want and wipe the floor if you want. Isn't that free enough? Too much pocket money is controlled.

(10) If a girl watches you nibble your lips this season, don't get me wrong, she may just be biting the dead skin.

I suggest that you play less mobile phones and computers. I feel that my eyesight is getting worse and worse recently, and I can't see the money when I open my wallet.

(12) As the saying goes, you don't have to be overwhelmed by many skills. You have been wandering the rivers and lakes alone for decades with a stunt, only to find that the most useful skill is "driving"

The boy standing there was very handsome, so I grabbed his potato chips and ran away.

(15) For those parents and teachers who always suspect that I am seeing someone, I just want to say: You overestimate me.

My parents really think I'm lazy and don't want to go out. If I have money, you can't even meet my people.

I think the brightest smile in my life is probably dedicated to my mobile phone and computer screen.

(18) Seeing others working so hard, so diligent and so energetic on the road to success, ask yourself, don't you want to be a stumbling block to them?

(19) Physical quality of contemporary adults: I have done nothing, and I feel tired every once in a while.

I want to get up early, but my bed doesn't agree.

It's great that you have a boyfriend, so I only have one rival in love!

Tell me when you want to get married, and I will marry you!

(23) The two main reasons why I can't finish my homework are sitting beside me and holding a mobile phone in my hand.

(24) Don't complain why you can't find a suitable person among1400 million people. Only four multiple-choice questions can't find the correct answer.

I always thought that the word "beautiful as a fairy" meant me, but it wasn't.

If you have no boyfriend, you must lose weight. Otherwise, "Sorry, you're in my way" is your way of meeting.

27. What is courage? I know this meal will make me fat, but I still go ahead.

I'm not fat, I'm swollen because I'm allergic to life.

29. Is there anything sad? Say it to make everyone happy.

People must not treat themselves badly when they are alive. For example, losing weight is too far from me, and eating a bowl of meat is more practical.

A joke that makes people laugh for a second 2 1. Everything will be fine in the end, even if the car is dismantled and the wheels are sold.

Many times, I dug a hole by myself, and then jumped in without hesitation. I dug my own hole, jumped myself, and finally I couldn't climb out.

3, talking about a wrong love is like wetting the bed, warming for a while and cooling a quilt.

4. Early risers are trapped by money; People who sleep late are trapped by love. You want both of them.

Swallow wears gorgeous clothes and goes to see Yongqi beautifully. Yongqi asked her why she came. Swallow said, let's keep company with the world of mortals and enjoy the prosperity of the world.

6. Running a red light generally has two consequences, either one minute faster than others or a lifetime faster than others.

7. It's naive to fall in love with someone just by chatting. Mature and wise people know that you have to look through the photo album.

8. In high school, the school was strict, and the hair over the shoulder should be tied up. After seeing my hairstyle, the teacher sternly ordered me to go back for a haircut at night. After studying at night, it is about 10. Out of school, I rushed to a barber shop that said hair salon as quickly as possible. When I opened the door, the pink light and a few scantily clad women looked up and asked me, Are you here to apply?

9. In high school, because it was too hot in summer, I would put a book under my ass. I felt that the book under my ass was hot, so I changed it. The idiot in the back table said to me: Do you have eyes on your ass? After reading a book, change it.

10. On the first day of school, the kindergarten director called the parents and told them whether your children had watched too many court plays. On the first day of roll call, the children directly replied, "I am a slave!" "

1 1. When you are thin and beautiful, you have something in your head and your wallet is full of money you earned. Don't say this month, the whole world will be nicer to you.

12, girls' interpersonal relationships can be divided into three types: those you can see without washing your hair, those you can see after washing your hair, and those you don't want to see after washing your hair.

Wife: Honey, I'm sick. I'm afraid I have to buy a bag. Husband: Can you tell me the connection between the two? Wife: haven't you heard of "all diseases are cured"? Then my husband came in with a brick. Wife: What's this? Husband: Bricks cure all kinds of intractable diseases!

14, the feeling of taking a courier is like reuniting with your long-lost flesh and blood, but often after unpacking, you find that your child looks like Lao Wang next door.

15, there are only two kinds of mathematical proof questions: one is "this needs to be proved" and the other is "this can also be proved".

16. Why do you buy clothes every year and have no clothes every year? Because you have more temperament every year, last year's clothes don't deserve you this year.

I want to live in your heart, but I didn't expect it to be a neighborhood with many neighbors.

Second, my money is really wet, because I have been crying when I spend it.

Third, what is really terrible is not playing the lute to a cow, but the cow is playing the lute to you.

Fourth, I hope you will have wine, meat and girls in the future, and girls will be ugly.

5. How can bangs grow so fast?

I am very principled, and my principle is to follow your mood.

Seven, I am single because no one can easily deserve me as the successor of the proletariat.

I wanted to give life a kiss, but reality gave me two slaps.

Nine, Alipay wants to socialize simply, as long as it is a function of "rich people nearby".

Ten, I just want to turn gracefully, but I unexpectedly hit the wall.

Eleven, lazy, doing well is called enjoyment; Persistence in doing well is called persistence; Playing the fool, if you do it well, is it called playing the fool? Don't play tricks on me, or I'll play along.

If money is dirt, then I am dung beetles.

Thirteen, the old vines faint, air-conditioned WiFi watermelon, Ge You sofa with the same paragraph, the sun sets, I put it aside.

Fourteen, take the initiative to ask you to open a strange woman, not miss or fairy jump.

Fifteen, I'm dead, and the only thing I can't worry about is my Q(q).

16. Don't envy that we have no homework during the holiday. Do you know how tired it is to play all day?

I know I have a bad temper. If you can't bear it, you must reflect on yourself and why others can.

Give you something you have to cherish, especially your face.

Nineteen, I want to kiss you when I am happy, and I want to be kissed when I am unhappy.

Twenty, we agreed to grow old together, so dye it as a putty.

Even if my love is cheap, I won't give you a discount.

Twenty-two, dreams still have to be there, otherwise you will tell people when you drink too much.

Twenty-three, after you get married, the marriage partner is not me, I will move to your house next door and be a quiet old king.

You always say that dreams are out of reach, but you never go to bed early and get up early.

Twenty-five, you are fat and ugly. We are friends.

Twenty-six, prettier than your girlfriend, and I'm sorry about that, too.

Twenty-seven, life will make you suffer for a while, and then let you suffer for a lifetime after you get used to it.

I don't know how others turn pressure into motivation. Anyway, I will only turn stress into appetite.

Twenty-nine, everyone is so young, why should I spoil you?

I advise you to like me early.

Beggars don't envy millionaires, but they envy beggars who mix better than themselves.

Thirty-two, if you don't come to sleep with me, you care what time I sleep.

Find a fortune teller, you and I are destined to be together.

Thirty-four, strange women who take the initiative to invite you to dinner, 100% are wine trays.

35. Blame me me for being so handsome and shocking that so many people in single dog have been displaced.