Sketch fortune teller

kidnap

Fan Wei is wearing a high-grade leather jacket with a red ribbon on his forehead and a small fan horn hanging around his neck, and he is wandering around Shenyang Wulihe Stadium with 300 yuan money in his hand. He wants to go in to watch the football match, but he can't get a ticket. Seeing that the game was about to start, I was so anxious that Fan Wei scratched his head and didn't refuse.

(Zhao Benshan and Gao Xiuxiu are carrying a stretcher)

Zhao Benshan: I wanted to wait until next year, but now I can't help it without money!

Gao Xiumin: Selling kidnapped cars and stretchers, you are full of lies!

Zhao Benshan: What are you talking about? Will you stop making fun of me? What are you yelling about?

Gao Xiumin: What do you suggest I do?

Zhao Benshan: Why are you yelling? Do you think anyone can buy it if you say so? What do you mean, full of lies? Tell you, daughter-in-law, the stretcher seller today is our Lao Zhao capable! Guess what?

Gao Xiumin: Forget it! I don't know what your sesame seed can do. Isn't it: smooth, make a fool of yourself, borrow a slope and push the boat with the current? ...

Zhao Benshan: Stop! Good summary! This is our "sixteen sets of policies", also known as "sixteen sets of deception"! Summing up the previous two experiences, if you want him to be fooled, you have to do what he wants. If we follow his topic, we will be in a mess, guide him step by step and let him fall into the trap! Daughter-in-law, look (pointing to Fan Wei). It's the guy with big head and thick neck. He is strong and stupid as a pig. He believes everything he says. He has no backbone. It must be this man who sells stretchers today!

Gao Xiumin: How dare you provoke him? Can he still buy it?

Zhao Benshan: Can I buy it? Watch! This kind of person, even if you sell him, he will help you return the money!

(At this time, Fan Wei also saw Zhao Benshan and Gao Xiuxiu)

Fan Wei: Did you two cheat here again?

Zhao Benshan: It's you again! Brother, how are you?

Fan Wei: Come on! Still lying to me? What's wrong with me? I came home and left the wheelchair. It was nothing! I can also pass my nephew's paper!

Zhao Benshan: Wait a minute! Is your little nephew five years old?

Fan Wei: Are you too contemptuous of others? Tell you, my nephew is six years old this year!

Zhao Benshan: (to Gao Xiuxiu) Did you hear that? He has just passed the examination paper for six years, so we don't have to be afraid of him! (To Fan Wei) Well, even if I told you, you wouldn't believe me! Test you on the debut question! (flicking his sleeve) Listen carefully! It is said that a tiger was bitten by an ant. When the tiger was in a hurry, he chased the ants hard. After catching up with a small hole, the ant went in with a squeak! But the body went in, but left a hind leg outside the hole. Excuse me-why is this?

Fan Wei: Because the hole is too small for its legs!

Zhao Benshan: Wrong! Wife, you say!

Gao Xiumin: Because it wants to trip the tiger!

Zhao Benshan: Correct! How's it going? Did you believe it this time?

Fan Wei: Is that right? What's the title? No one can remember who this is! I ...

Zhao Benshan: OK! No explanation! Just admit that you are sick! (Looking at Fan Wei) I saw you wearing a piece of silk on your head today, staring at the ball and jumping around like a big fat monkey.

What are you doing?

Fan Wei: Don't you see?

Zhao Benshan: I didn't see it!

Fan Wei: (lifting the horn around his neck and blowing it twice) I tell you, I'm a fan!

Zhao Benshan: Sample! Long ability! Still a fan? What ball? It's a glass ball played by a three-year-old child, right?

Fan Wei: Don't always look down on people! I tell you, I am a football, volleyball and basketball, and I can do anything!

Zhao Benshan: Stop! Stop blowing! If nothing else, you are not qualified to play basketball alone!

Fan Wei: What am I not qualified to do?

Zhao Benshan: What failed? You are not qualified! It's too short, you know I'm not talking about you! Come on, let's see. With a head, you can walk under the table on tiptoe!

Fan Wei: OK, OK! I have no time to listen to you today! (Ignoring Zhao, walking around by himself, talking to himself) Oh, dear! I'm so worried! The game is about to start! What if I can't get into the field?

Zhao Benshan: Can't you get in? How's it going?

Fan Wei: How can you open your eyes? No tickets!

Zhao Benshan: Oh! No tickets! I'm in a hurry without a ticket! It seems that you really like watching football!

Fan Wei: That's still fake!

Zhao Benshan: Tell you what! Ask you some common sense about football and see if you are qualified.

Fan Wei: Just ask!

Zhao Benshan: Q: How many people are there in a team in a game?

Fan Wei: Eleven!

Zhao Benshan: Of course! Yes! Listen again, suddenly I kicked down one and asked how many players were standing on the court.

Fan Wei: Ten!

Zhao Benshan: Look! You were wrong when you praised you just now! Wife, you say!

Gao Xiumin: There are twenty-one standing! Ten here and eleven there!

Fan Wei: Does that count? I didn't hear you clearly! Do it again!

Zhao Benshan: It would be wrong to do it a hundred times! Listen up! How many players are there in a team in a game?

Fan Wei: Eleven!

Zhao Benshan: Here's one. How many players are still standing on the court?

Fan Wei: Twenty-one! Ten here and eleven there!

Zhao Benshan: Wrong again! Daughter-in-law, tell him

Gao Xiumin: Twenty! There was a red card just now, and the next one was sent off!

Fan Wei: (beats his head) Ouch! Why didn't I think of that? This kick is a foul! I have to give the card!

I know, but why can't I remember? Look at my head.