Funny comic dialogue lines

Lead: Crosstalk is a kind of folk rap art, which takes the form of speaking, learning, teasing and singing, highlighting its characteristics. So what are the "funny cross talk lines"? Let's have a look!

A: As the saying goes, men are afraid of choosing the wrong line and women are afraid of marrying the wrong person.

B: Yes, occupation is too important for people.

I knew what you were doing as soon as you stopped here.

What should I do?

A: Crosstalk.

B: Nonsense. Watermelon sellers poke at street corners.

You chose the wrong line.

What do you mean?

A: If you want to make big money, you have to do big business. Haven't you heard of it? "Big Boss" doesn't bend down to pick up $10,000 when he sees it on the road.

B: Why?

A: He can earn $10,000 as soon as he bows his head.

B: That's an exaggeration.

He bent down and picked it up ... ten thousand dollars. Unlike you: ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to tell you a cross talk. Please forgive me if you don't know. Well said. Let's say hello. {hat off} rich people help a money field, and poor people help a man field. I bow to you. Shooting ... ten cents. Jingle ... plus noise, at least 20 cents. This little brother is very atmospheric, isn't he fifty? Um ... park tickets, second-hand!

That was a long time ago.

A: Change careers. Do big business and make a lot of money. If you have money, go to TV, be interviewed by reporters, and have your photos online. If you are looking for you, you will be in sogou, and you will be found after searching.

B: Sohu is my wife. We two animals.

A: I changed careers. Learn to drive.

B: That's good.

A: it was closed later.

B: Why?

I think I should have a drink.

Drunk driving, that's going to jail. I forgot to introduce it to everyone. This man likes to drink at ordinary times, and when he drinks, he gets drunk. When he meets people, he has a double shadow. People nicknamed him "twins". I came home from drinking that day and met his wife at the door. He said that his aunt was there. Scared his wife to look for it several times.

A: The first time I drove, I caught fire, put on the gear and released the clutch. Bang! Reverse gear! Hit a telephone pole.

oh

A: Put in gear and release the clutch. Bang! Hit another pole.

Pay attention to the telephone pole. Don't always stand on the side of the road, it will affect the traffic.

How did this traffic policeman get here so soon? It is polite to get off and salute me. At ease, you're welcome. Come on, come on, have a twin.

I'm drunk. Just one person.

A: Two! Swing back and forth and play cross with me. I can't beat you.

B: Let you test the alcohol content first. Sir, blow it.

No, I drink it every day. Rich, expensive ... noble.

B: Or a nobleman?

A: It's an aristocrat. I have a fan and caught a cold. I coughed and broke two ribs. Very delicate. I like to drink it twice, and the more I drink, the more sober I am.

I am still awake. If I drink any more, I will become a group of policemen. What happened afterwards?

I will come out in seven days. I didn't know there was no wine in the detention center until I came out.

B: Would you like some more?

A: Drink! You can go without food for three days, but you can't go without drinking for a while. The day I came out, I went to the restaurant. I had a drink and threw up in the toilet before drinking.

B: Just pour the food and wine into the toilet, and you won't have to suffer.

That restaurant is also very special. The toilet threshold is extremely high. I have to climb up. As soon as I got up, I went downstairs from the second floor.

B: That's the window.

A: The world is the same. I was lying on the roof of the car, and a group of people looked around me. Nobody helped me, so an old lady came up and asked, handsome boy, stealing a car? People always pry open the car door. How can you tear it apart?

Top？

B: It seems that you can't eat the bowl of driving.

A: Then why should I change careers?

B: Look at your specialty.

A: Being a singer can earn more money.

B: With your looks, go to the kindergarten and sing. Which child doesn't eat, you stand there "Xifeng is coming", which makes the child jump up and chew the plate.

A: I didn't mean to be ugly. I'm trying to scare those children who don't eat.

B: Singer, you can't do it.

A: I run a hospital. It can make a lot of money. Grandma Wang's grandson knocked out a front tooth that day, and she took her grandson to the hospital. The doctor said: Check it first. Internal surgery of radiology department, B-ultrasound ct EEG, tickets were scattered all the way, and grandma Wang took her grandson back to see it.

B: No money?

A: The front teeth are coming out.

B: Then you don't know anything about medicine. How can you run a hospital?

A: I'm hiring. First, choose gables, downtown area, 10 floor, internal medicine, surgery, obstetrics and gynecology, outpatient area, inpatient area, rehabilitation area, football field, boxing hall, preferably racing car.

B: Stop. This doesn't seem to be a hospital.

A: These projects are used to produce the wounded, and they are produced and sold by themselves. Choose a good border, advertise in Shanghai and recruit medical elites. One came that day, in his thirties, in his prime.

How many years have you worked?

A: Thirteen years.

B: how do you see a doctor? Consultation?

A: I don't usually ask.

B: OK. You'll know what's wrong by experience. Do you always have to ask if it hurts?

A: Haha ... Does your pig say it hurts?

Veterinarians!

A: I have also shown it to others. A woman came that day, very fat, with a head … a belly … I asked her: how many months? She said that August is such a hot day. I said, how many months have I been asking about your stomach? She slapped me conveniently: I am fat! Are you pregnant? I'm not married yet, so I'll wear glasses when I go to work!

B: this person can't use it.

In the afternoon, another one came, the head of a Japanese Song Shiquan. It looks like a miniskirt of the Paris Dance Company in Russia, black stockings in Ethiopia, and the finger A of a female ghost in an American movie. After years of washing, they are all green, but their eyes are made in China. At night, a pair of panda eyes took off, and immediately circled three times, with small eyes similar to your mouse.

There are no mice in our house.

Let your wife have a nest.

Are you kidding me?

Just kidding. {Bowing} I worked as a nurse.

Why did you quit your job? High rank and low salary?

A: The dean said that I always can't aim at an injection.

Hmm?

A: It is medically called strabismus. I tilted 50 centimeters.

B: aiming is not easy.

That's not a day. A pregnant woman came, and she couldn't give birth. She asked me what to do. what can I do? I'm a girl, and I can't give birth. I just gave her an injection. Antivirus, aim, hit left, aim right, and see a "poof" needle. The woman said nothing. Her husband said, ouch, my leg! What do you mean by an adult yelling? Where does it hurt when my wife gives birth to a child?

You hit him in the leg.

Oh, wrong direction. My eyes slant to the right.

B: It's one meter short!

That's not worth shouting about, is it? One more shot and it won't come out.

Did the dean fire you?

A: No injections.

B: Then why?

A: One day an old man had boils on his eyes, and I gave him a breast cream. The next day, he found it This is a nice photo with two tomatoes on his face.

B: It looks good.

Oh, I read the wrong medicine box. I'm sorry ... you have to thank me.

Thank you?

A: Yes. The box on the right is corn cream.

That would gouge out his eyes.

A: This hospital will never open.

B: Then change it.

A: Doing sales.

What do you sell?

Answer: First floor, practice and sell belts. Five dollars each, very cheap. You see, this skin, tiger skin and cattle can't run away. I've seen it. If you buy one to hang yourself, I'll pay you ten. If not, we will send someone to help you and take you home.

B: Yes. What are you talking about?

This is a promotion. It's amazing. When you hear "there is a hanging tape, let's go and have a look." Fusang people are surrounded. We don't want to buy it all and hang ourselves, just to be popular. That's it. People pay attention to you and you sell yourself. Haven't you heard people say, "If you want to sell goods, you must sell yourself first."

B: sell yourself before you sell something?

A: The comprehension ability is really poor. That is to say: the customer is God, the food and clothing parents. Parents!

B: So you are somebody else's son when I buy your things?

A: Come on. My sons are all Laozi now, and Laozi is a grandson at best. If you have a son, you will know that there is no sky, no land, no black, no white, no face, no skin, no dirt, no worship and no festivals.

What do you mean?

A: You slept soundly in the middle of the night and suddenly felt warm under you. You touched it and peed. Sticky.

B: Yes.

A: You hold the diaper and {rub your hands} I'll hold it. Do you do this by hand?

B: Let's go!

On Saturday and Sunday, my son will ride a horse to the park.

Do you have a horse at home?

Well, I just like to drink.

I see. I will ride you.

A: I was halfway, and my neck was warm. Coincidentally, I met my neighbor Aunt Zhang.

B: Look at you, carrying a child on your back is sweating all over your neck.

Aunt, it's very hot.

December?

I am in trouble.

B: It's neck deep.

A: When children reach school age, they should plan to find a key middle school for their primary school, a key university for the middle school and a good job for the university. ...

If you have a good job, you should plan to find a good wife.

A: You have to plan to buy a house before you find a wife. Do you think girls nowadays marry houses or men?

B: All girls in their twenties have been mistresses to 80-year-olds. what did you say ?

A: When I bought a house, all my savings for more than 30 years were lost. For 30 years, my grandson has been married. Do you think this Lao Tzu is Lao Tzu or grandson?

B: Yes, it's not easy for your son to do this kind of sales work.

A: No, let's talk about crosstalk. Ladies and gentlemen, I want to tell you a cross talk. Please forgive me if it is not good. If it is good, please call it good. If you have money, help a frontcourt. If you have no money, help a private court. I will bow to you.

Come on, bow.

Exam Encyclopedia (Humorous Crosstalk)

A: I'm going to tell you a cross talk today, mainly to make you happy. Laugh for ten years and live for a hundred years.

Yes, everyone is very tired. You can't laugh a few times a year or cry all the time. It's a pleasure to spend a little money and smile here.

A: You call me 250 when I'm not in school and 120 when I'm a graduate student?

B: The graduate student's is 2 10, which is 40 less than yours.

The child can't even subtract. His mother is,

What happened to my mother?

A: The tortoise finds a toad as her husband, and each generation is not as good as the next.

B: Don't treat my mother like a mother!

A: This is just to make everyone happy. Even the crosstalk performer hooked up with his mother.

B: When I earn money, I will go home and buy a pair of socks for my mother to honor her. Eighty!

A: Raise such a disappointing toad!

B: Everyone laughed at last! Hi!

A: Just laugh. After all, we didn't live in vain.

B: Seriously!

A: Crosstalk is serious and rigid, so it is difficult to attend the Spring Festival Evening. Crosstalk is dead, and I can't go to heaven.

B: what should I do if cross talk is menopausal?

A: Dump the place and change mistresses.

Hey, you, asshole!

A: There is no new news for you today. I want to ask how old the child who lives with me graduated. This kid told me that he is Viagra, from overseas.

It's a turtle.

A: Wrong!

B: What did I say wrong?

A: Whether it's a turtle coming from outside or a turtle? If a turtle goes outside and takes off his vest, it is not a turtle.

Is it Viagra?

A: Viagra is used to treat the heart in America. It changed careers in the old world. It's an aphrodisiac!

B: the master is learned!

A: You are not even Viagra. You are full of yin.

B: I'm a fake plus parallel imports-inferior wow haha.

Let me test you.

B: brand-name goods are not afraid of exams. 250. come on

A: How did the tortoise come from?

B: I climbed up from the sea.

A: Nonsense.

B: What's the matter?

A: Those who are not in the sea are called turtles!

B: Besides.

How did the professor come?

B: it teaches turtles.

A: Bullshit! A short-lived teacher, an immortal professor.

I learned it for nothing.

A: Do you think that studying economics will make you rich?

B: I am the evolution of one stroke, the decline of two strokes and the decline of three strokes.

A: What?

Economics of economic recession.

A: Why cross talk?

B: I'm not a junior civil servant.

A: Let the government know and kill you! The child can't get in.

B: I'm an economist, but addition doesn't count.

Do you know that there was an economist who applied for a job in Huoshaopu during the Republic of China? The boss who set fire to the fire asked him: how can I make a lot of money? He said: production cost MINUS production cost is surplus value. The boss said he farted: just add less meat to the meat fire!

I lost.

A: How did we invite your senior professor?

B: You will get a prize for working overtime.

A: Zero! As the saying goes, it is better to die than to starve to death!

B: Why can't I keep up? How did the senior professor come?

A: Planing maternity! Idiot!

B: I didn't think of gynecology.

A: Yes-

B: Tell me quickly.

A: Online. It is said that a professor of landscape architecture personally gave guidance to the experimental field, pulling cow dung with his fingers and licking his fingers with his mouth, and was rated as an advanced professor every year. His wife scolded him when she learned of his advanced deeds. He said: I poke cow dung with my index finger and put my middle finger in my mouth.

B: I'm defeated!

I'll test you again.

B: Go ahead, teacher.

A: Let me ask you, how is steel made?

B: Steel is made in a steelmaking furnace.

A: Wrong. Steel was tempered in the war years!

I feel a little confused?

A: If you don't annoy the enemy, you can't annoy the revolutionaries.

I see. Go and take the exam.

A: Let me ask you, what is marriage?

B: It's called marriage before divorce. (whispering: I'm changing, too)

A: Serious mistake. Call it locking!

A teacher is a teacher.

You want me to live short, don't you? I am a professor.

I missed a hundred steps. Guys, do I feel stupid?

A: Everyone's eyes are dim. This is what Clinton said.

Try again?

I ask you, what is love?

Love is the grave.

The child made me stupid in the exam. That's bullshit！ When love enters the grave, it is the grave. No, I'm stupid, too

B: Teacher, when love enters marriage, it is the grave!

Do you think you know Tolstoy is right? No!

I was wrong! No! No!

A: You know there were two Tolstoys in the former Soviet Union. Do you know which one is fake?

B: Professor, I know clenbuterol is fake.

A: Add mistakes to mistakes.

B: Still wrong? The former Soviet drug and food supervision and inspection bureau found it to be false.

A: Wrong!

B: Tolstoy's father gave birth to a real one.

A: lev tolstoy is real! Tolstoy is false. This boy, how did your mother raise you! Who gave birth to you? Have you forgotten?

It slipped my mind.

A: Wrong! This should be known.

I really forgot.

A: There is nothing wrong with forgetting, but you didn't open your eyes when you were born.

B: Professor, what you said is also wrong.

A: What's the matter?

B: When I was born, my eyes were open. My mother saw me like this and covered me up.

It's not your fault!

I was right at last.

A: You can go to work.

Where have you been?

Learn from where you left off.

I went back to America.

A: Bow.