How terrible is "son preference"?

In the legal report, a couple sold their daughter. 16 years later, their son had a bone marrow transplant and his daughter refused. He said: "If you don't promise, you will be ruined!"

This is a true story, which happened in a remote village in northern Jiangsu. After Chen Ling and her husband gave birth to their daughter, the whole family was disappointed. In the countryside, they prefer boys to girls and can't lift their heads.

So Chen Ling decided to have a second child. 1996, Chen Ling became pregnant again. I thought it must be a boy this time, but the result was disappointing. I didn't expect it was a girl.

The elders at home feel unlucky and don't welcome this girl. They think she is a jinx. Therefore, after discussion with the elders at home, no one wanted to raise the girl, decided to give away her newborn daughter and promised never to come and go.

They sent their children to Changshu, Jiangsu, 300 miles away. Zhang is engaged in agriculture and has three children with his ex-wife. Unfortunately, they all died of illness. In Zhang's mind, he especially wants a healthy child, no matter whether it is a boy or a girl, it will be treated equally.

Zhang, who is kind and fair, decided to adopt the child and named her Nana to bring her up. But his wife didn't agree. After knowing this, she divorced herself.

Zhang, who was lonely and helpless, raised the child. He never regretted this choice, and father and daughter lived together from then on.

A year after sending her daughter away, Chen Ling became pregnant again, burning incense and worshiping Buddha. This time, she finally gave birth to a boy. The whole family was immersed in this joy, and felt that they finally had a relative at home, so they named the little boy Yangyang.

Yang Yang was very cute since he was a child. He eats fat for nothing and is held in the palm of his hand by his family, which can be said to be the pride and continuation of the whole family. However, something unexpected happened in the sky. 65,438+04 years old, terminally ill. After going to the hospital for examination, it was clear Wan Li, and the family's world collapsed instantly.

He suffers from myelodysplastic syndrome, which is incurable, similar to leukemia. Even if the match is successful, it will eventually recur, which can only prolong his life and cannot be completely cured.

The doctor said, "This disease is hereditary. Only brothers and sisters with the same bone type can match successfully! "

The family will never give up, and the last hope is that even if the son lives one more day, he will strive to get married as soon as possible. When Chen Ling had her eldest daughter, she immediately took him to the hospital for a match check. However, the results show that the two can't match.

At this moment, Chen Ling suddenly unlocked the secret hidden in 16. He said to the doctor, "My son is very lucky. I have a little girl. /kloc-people who were sent 0/6 years ago may be able to match successfully and may be able to save their lives! "

So Chen Ling found her little daughter's adoptive father and confessed to Nana: "I am your biological mother, and this is your sister next to me. Your brother needs you to donate bone marrow. Only you can match successfully, so you must help him! "

Chen Ling hoped that Nana would take the initiative to save her brother. Nana's adoptive father has a kind heart and sympathizes with Yang Yang's experience. At the same time, Nana agreed to take her to the hospital for examination. The results show that Nana and Yang Yang can be matched completely.

But the adoptive father said: "Now Nana wants to take the college entrance examination, so she can only wait until the college entrance examination is over before matching, otherwise it will affect her future!"

Chen Ling refused anyway, with a runny nose and tears. Adoptive father said softly, "matching is ok now, but you must pay a deposit, otherwise Nana's life can't be guaranteed!" "

Chen Ling, on the other hand, did the opposite. She thinks Nana and her adoptive father are fooling her. She has no money on her. Chen Ling began to go to extremes, and she spoke wildly to destroy Nana. At the local township street and school gate where she is located, there is a sticker that says "only recognize money but not people, completely losing the essence of being a man!"

He slandered Nana with a megaphone, calling her inhuman and disowned by her six relatives. Nana was going to take the college entrance examination at that time, and because of this, she became a celebrity in the school. She resolutely refused to donate bone marrow and denied this mother.

Chen Lin's reason is not forgiving. He accused his daughter Nana and his adoptive father of crimes with a "legal report" and sought justice for himself and his son.

However, on the contrary, no one sympathized with her experience, and the comment area also resonated.

Netizen said: It is wise for a girl to be ashamed of having such a biological mother and refuse to match her relatives. Besides, even if the younger brother is successful in matching, his body will be destroyed for life.

Some netizens also said: This is a realistic version of Le Monde and a moral kidnapping. A mother is not as good as a father, and whoever the child gives is a relative. If it were me, I wouldn't deserve it.

Many people think that the wicked will get what they deserve, and Chen Ling's behavior will be condemned by heaven, but this is not the case. Finally, Chen Ling found the right match. Although this person is not Nana, he managed to survive.

This matter has been controversial since the broadcast of Legal Report. For example, how terrible is it to prefer sons to daughters? The above example is the best answer.

First, boys and girls are the same. If someone has the idea of preferring sons to daughters, it can only be said that it is a feudal and backward behavior.

Nowadays, people are very open-minded. Whether at work or at home, boys and girls bear the same burden. In backward rural areas, there will still be the idea of son preference, which is a kind of material backwardness and will only cause misfortune to girls' lives.

I am also a girl, so I dropped out of junior high school to work, and earned my parents 10 years, about 300 thousand, but my parents didn't give me a penny. Now that I'm married, they didn't give me a bride price of 15000.

But I'm sober, and I don't want to be squeezed by them. I also want to tell girls like me that in the face of parents who prefer boys to girls, we should not just compromise and give in, but defend our own interests.

Second, in today's era of imbalance between men and women, we should pay more attention to girls.

Some girls are even better than boys. They are spiritually independent, economically independent and successful in their careers. They are not necessarily worse than boys. Therefore, parents should be more far-sighted, cultivate their daughters with heart, give her the best education, care for the growth of girls, and don't leave a shadow in her childhood.

There are tens of millions of bachelors in China today. The reason for this situation is that the elders prefer sons to daughters. They all think that boys should carry on the family line and continue the fireworks at home, while girls will get married sooner or later. With the so-called married daughters throwing out water, they are unwilling to invest a penny in them. This is a wrong idea, which will only cause a family misfortune.

Third, their children hurt themselves, and boys and girls should be treated equally to avoid similar tragedies.

A woman like Chen Ling doesn't know how to love her daughter, and even her own flesh and blood can be sold at will. Such behavior is simply inhuman. In real life, such women abound. In order to have a boy, they did not hesitate to have an abortion and killed countless lives to get a boy. This way is not desirable.

As long as the children born by themselves, whether boys or girls, should be cared for in the palm of their hands, give her a world full of love and treat boys equally, in order to have a healthy and perfect family.

Write at the end:

As qualified parents, we should keep a bowl of water level when raising children, and we should not raise one and belittle the other. Only parents lead by example, as well as the correct three views and soul, can we cultivate healthy and sunny children and give them a bright future and mentality.

A woman in Nantong, Jiangsu Province trampled on her granddaughter who was just born for 4 days, and was forgiven by her family. She was finally sentenced to 10 year.

The People's Court reported on February 2, 2006:1October 24 165438+2065438. A 29-year-old pregnant woman, Hong Ling, was in the obstetric ward of the inpatient department of Rudong County Hospital of Traditional Chinese Medicine in Nantong City, Jiangsu Province, and suddenly found her four-day-old daughter missing. After watching the surveillance video, the police determined that the child's grandmother Zhang Aifen quietly took away and killed the baby girl.

A baby girl who was just killed for four days. What is even more shocking is that the murderer is still her own grandmother! What is the reason why grandma killed her newborn granddaughter?

It turned out that my daughter-in-law gave birth to a girl in the second child, which made my grandmother who was eager to have grandchildren disappointed and had no joy! After the daughter-in-law gave birth to her granddaughter, grandma was still busy and exhausted. Thinking of taking on the responsibility of raising two granddaughters in the future and becoming a "child slave" with the baby, strong regrets welled up in my heart. Zhang Aifen feels that all the troubles and contradictions are caused by this second granddaughter. So, on that tired night, her murder was very chaotic-

But fatigue is not the source of killing people. Fatigue can also be a kind of happy pay, just because the granddaughter's fatigue makes grandma feel meaningless and hopeless. The patriarchal thinking that goes deep into the bone marrow even makes her feel that her granddaughter is not a grandson but a burden!

For a long time in China, son preference was like a malignant tumor, which spread everywhere in China, squeezing the blood vessels of every woman in China for five thousand years. In the past 5,000 years, every newborn baby girl was not allowed to breathe the first breath of her life, and every girl in China could not enjoy the pure affection and passionate love of her parents. Every wife is regarded as a fertility tool, so is her husband's family and even her mother's family. ...

Under this distorted concept, it is normal for a wife to have no son, and it is normal for a husband to indulge in three wives and four concubines. It is understandable that the born daughter is abandoned or even killed-after all, the girl will become someone else's fertility machine sooner or later!

In the long history of 5,000 years, how many tragedies have been brewed by this concept, how many dry bones and deep abyss of fate have not restored women's dignity, and how many long hairs can measure women's pain for 5,000 years! However, the most desperate tragedy is that no one realizes that this is a tragedy!

To this day, this man-eating demon is still lurking in the depths of some people's souls. Once controlled by this demon, like a zombie who will not die for 5,000 years, he will burn the world to hell without scruple after his resurrection!

In today's society, the traditional thought of son preference is much less toxic. Not everyone will crush their granddaughter like the old woman in Nantong, Jiangsu, but it is still common to love children more than daughters. Especially in rural areas and cities!

A few years ago, the second child policy was not opened. My cousin gave birth to a boy, and the elders often say, "Your cousin has a good life! The first child is a boy and does not need to be regenerated. " In fact, even my cousin thinks so. Everyone thinks that if you have a girl, you have to have another one even if you are fined illegally.

Why is it so important to have a son in China's traditional thought?

As the saying goes, raise children to prevent old age. Under the background of ancient patriarchal society and agricultural civilization, men, as a powerful labor force, can indeed support their children to prevent old age. But in modern society, where is raising children to prevent old age? Most people are adopted sons, not only to support him for the first half of his life, but also to buy a house and a car for him to get married and plan for the second half. On the contrary, raising a daughter is much more intimate.

It is more important than raising children to prevent old age to spread religion. Many people in China have the custom of setting up ancestral temples. What is a ancestral hall is the same surname and clan. Since ancient times, surnames have always followed the father, not the mother. In the concept of China people, the surnames of in-laws are handed down, but it is impossible to pass them down when a girl is born. Therefore, whenever a large family has only one daughter, the son-in-law will be asked to adopt a son-in-law in order to carry on the family line.

At this level, having a daughter is also considered childless. In ancient times, women didn't even have a surname for a generation, and after they married their husbands, they took their surnames. Married women in costume films are often Chen Yanshi and Chen. This Chen is her husband's family name. The ancients used to say that married women splash water. What's the use of having a daughter under the bridge? !

This idea of carrying on the family line is the core cancer that dominates the preference for sons over daughters. But how difficult is it to get rid of this cancer? After the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period, surnames became a belief in China. We worship ancestors, compile genealogy, emphasize the recognition of ancestors, emphasize whether to change the name, and emphasize not to forget the surname. But it has never been emphasized that even a daughter is alive with your blood and has an independent personality!

So, I just want to ask, in today's open society, are surnames and gender really more important than life? !

How terrible is it to prefer sons to daughters?

The neighbor gave birth to six daughters in this life, and the last one gave birth to a son.

The more he hates his daughters, the more they pair off. According to his wife, when he gave birth to the last pair of twins, he blindly thought it must be his son this time, and the midwife was busy in the room. He is catching chickens outside, saying that his wife can eat better and he can fatten his son.

Just when I caught the chicken and prepared to kill it, I heard people in the room say, congratulations, you have another daughter! He snorted with anger, threw the chicken far away, and left angrily with his hand behind his back, without even cooking for his wife.

After stopping for two years, his wife finally gave birth to a son for him. He cried with joy. From the time the child was born, he dared not melt it in his mouth, for fear of falling in his hand. Several daughters worked as children, but the only son refused to do anything until he got married and got married. Nevertheless, he is not responsible at all, and it is hard for him to refute. Later, because of a little thing, he only knew that he was old.

Now because the daughter-in-law is going out to work, two old men without sons have to stay at their daughter's house. Sometimes, my daughter will think of her parents' partiality when she was a child, but she wants to say it but can't say it. After all, the old man is old and her son is gone.

The idea of preferring sons to daughters not only failed to let the elderly enjoy their sons' blessings, but made their old age miserable.

My father is a typical Phoenix man and my grandmother's favorite little son. My mother is a peacock girl in the county, young and beautiful, with a job in the city and a commodity grain account. Unfortunately, my mother gave birth to a girl for the first time. A few days after my sister was born, my father wanted to give her to my uncle My mother refused anyway. From then on, my father often beat my mother. The worst time, I couldn't hear one ear clearly for many years. When I went back to my hometown, my relatives said that I thought my mother was going crazy. Fortunately, my uncle was in good health, and my mother lived in my uncle's house for a while and gradually recovered. When I couldn't send it out, my dad took advantage of my mother's work and went out to play cards while covering his mouth. It happened that my mother came back halfway because of something, and my sister was purple in the face. My sister grew up in my grandmother's house until the third grade. My dad forced my sister to pretend to be mentally retarded in order to have another child, and then he finally had me. My father even got his name from a boy. Unfortunately, I am a girl. At that time, my grandmother had been in our house, but she had never seen me. My mother took me to work and tied me at the door of the unit. When I grow up, my mother's colleagues will say every time they see me that I was tied to the door by your mother every day when I was a child. This shows how shocking it was at that time. The past is true.

You will say, why not send me to grandma's house? Because my dad wouldn't let me, I was afraid that others would gossip about me behind my back, but my grandmother really ignored me. When I was over one year old and just learned to walk, she didn't hug me when I crossed the street. I coughed all night and couldn't sleep. Only my mother went to the hospital behind my back, and my father and grandmother didn't care. Finally, the doctor said that it is best to drink honey water besides taking medicine. At that time, my mother couldn't buy anywhere. Only when I sit in bed and let me lie on her side every night can I fall asleep. Then grandma went back to her hometown. My mother cleaned her sleeping room and found apples hidden in the cupboard, which my father bought for her secretly. My sister and I didn't. There is a bottle of honey hanging in the air under the bed. My mother flew into a rage at the sight of honey. Because I coughed for several months at that time, I couldn't go to the hospital well, and I couldn't sleep every night. Finally, my neighbor saw that I had a bad cough and gave my mother a bottle of honey. It's been decades now, and my mother is still upset. Maybe in the eyes of father and grandmother, girls have no value to live at all.

My elder sister is beaten by my father every three days. For all kinds of wonderful reasons, even if she is in a bad mood, it is useless to say that she is a girl. My sister is not tall. When I grow up, my grandmother has passed away, my father is working outside, and the atmosphere at home is so good.

My husband asked me the other day why others have several houses like ours, but my family is so poor. It is because my dad thinks girls are useless that he gave all the money he earned to my cousin to study, marry a wife and buy a house. My aunt even told my dad in front of us that Steve's study was a waste of money, so he might as well go out to work early.

Later, my sister returned to her hometown after graduating from college. She said at that time that she didn't want to go back to this home all her life, and she was finally relieved. Seeing that my sister couldn't come back, my father called me when I was still in college and asked me to drop out. Of course, I didn't agree. He cut off my tuition and living expenses and tried to force me to come back. He also said it was useless to spend so much money on us. It is better to leave more for your own pension.

After I graduated from college, he didn't know what to think. He divorces my mother every day and wants to find another one. Even sneak into other people's homes. I once took my mother to the hospital. I had a big fight with him and told him that no one wanted to enter the house except my mother. I called one after another, but who knows he really stopped. Although he is still very stingy, he finally stopped fooling around.

Being born in a patriarchal family is like purgatory on earth for girls. This is why many girls who were abandoned or given away by their biological parents refused to recognize them later. If it doesn't happen to you, you won't feel the pain that goes deep into the bone marrow!

My friend Huan Di lives in a patriarchal family. There are three brothers and sisters at home. She has an elder sister above and a younger brother below. Beating little sisters is an unnecessary person in the family. They will feel that they have two daughters except when their parents need them to do laundry, cook and clean. At other times, they are like air, and they have to give everything to her little brother.

When I was a child, I just let her go anywhere. Now that Huan's younger brother is an adult, she can earn money to support herself when she comes out to work. Her parents also insisted that she let her brother go at any time! The broadband at home is for my little brother, so when my little brother is playing games, the whole family can't surf the Internet, make a noise or disturb him. The TV at home is dedicated to parents, so Brother Huan can read and study or lie in bed when he comes home. There is nothing else to do. In this way, my brother often finds fault with her parents to repair her. Because my sister couldn't stand her parents' partiality to her younger brother and severe criticism of their sisters, she moved out to stand on her own feet after earning money. Only Huan's brother is still at home and continues to endure destruction! Poor girl!

The preference for sons over daughters is really terrible. Some mother-in-law lost her mind, and so did her husband, not to mention other families. This is what I have experienced. A girl was born in 1998, and her mother-in-law took her away and lost her. When I got it back, I was very sad and never went back to my mother-in-law's house. When her daughter was 4 months old, her husband died and her mother-in-law didn't even look at her daughter. Mother and daughter live together.

Now that my daughter is in college, is it possible for her mother-in-law to want children? The child doesn't care about her at all. Now I am very happy. If I don't have a mother-in-law, come to me today.

I have a son and a daughter. The happiest time is when my son is born and my mother-in-law waits on him. Then my son is one year old and has a daughter. Although he said that boys are preferred to girls, there are still some. We all live with our mother-in-law and work together to earn money. My husband and I have to ask her every penny we spend. My mother-in-law is willing to spend money on her grandson and buy hundreds of toys for her grandson. I have no choice but to stay at home. My daughter can only buy a dozen toys, and there is no money to buy more expensive ones. Because I quarrel with my mother-in-law, I sometimes feel that I am too timid and make my daughter feel wronged. Now she is going to find a job and doesn't want to ask for money any more.

"Why is the son a treasure and the daughter a grass?"

Hello, everyone, I vomited blood.

I have been stunned by Fan Meisheng's parents in Ode to Joy.

Treat my daughter as toilet paper and wipe my brother's ass every day. Every time her brother is in trouble, she has to solve it. Her brother's family are all vampires. They took her money and thought she was stingy.

She is over 30 years old and has been squeezed dry by her family. She has no money. Her mother also asked her to get the rent back, move to the company and save the money for her brother.

Her brother ran away to avoid the creditors, and her mother was so distressed that she made money, fearing that her brother would be wronged if he had no money in the field. Fan asked her mother: when I came to Shanghai to work hard alone, why didn't you ever ask me if I had any money to spend? Have you ever given me money?

Are such parents wonderful enough?

However, this kind of patriarchal parents exist in a large area in China's real life.

My friends and I sometimes talk about this topic, and several girls with similar experiences cry, and other girls are furious. One comes from a patriarchal area where it is not convenient to be named. She always thought it was normal for her parents to love her younger brother more, because everyone around her preferred her son. When I went to college, my roommates were all only children. She suddenly found that many girls were loved by their parents as babies ... The contrast would be particularly sad.

She told her dad about it, and her dad's reaction was, God, your classmate's parents are so poor. They have no son and will never see each other again.

It happened in my hometown. There is a girl named Jiao Jiao in our hometown. When she grew up, she went out to study at Fudan University, but life was not easy. Jiao Jiao has been my friend since childhood. She told me that the boyfriend she was looking for was getting engaged to her. I'm glad. Who knows? After three months of marriage, Jiao Jiao became pregnant. Jiao Jiao's mother-in-law looked for fortune-telling everywhere, saying that the child was male or female. An old man with accurate fortune-telling said that this belly was a baby girl, and her mother-in-law hung her face down. Jiao Jiao ate a lot when she was pregnant. She ate a little too much and her mother-in-law was complaining. She can eat so much with a little girl. Jiao Jiao's husband was in a hurry. He said, How did you know that Jiao Jiao was pregnant with a baby girl, but her mother-in-law kept silent? When Jiao Jiao gave birth, her mother-in-law refused to come anyway. When Jiao Jiao was born, I was with her husband and family. After birth, the doctor said it was a baby boy, and her mother-in-law came to take care of Jiao Jiao. Jiao Jiao looked at her mother-in-law, the in the mind very unhappy. Two years later, Jiao Jiao was pregnant with a baby girl. Jiao Jiao knew that her mother-in-law preferred sons to daughters. Two years ago, she saved a large sum of money to buy a villa. When the baby girl was born, her mother-in-law really stinks. In the hospital, she also said that the baby girl is good, not enough for my grandson. Jiao Jiao has finished her month. A few days later, I heard Jiao Jiao's husband say that her mother-in-law scolded the daughters of Jiao Jiao and Jiao Jiao. Jiao Jiao was so anxious that she never saw her mother-in-law again.

I was abandoned as a child. When I was a child, I quarreled with children in the same village and was always scolded and picked up to make fun of me. Some adults made fun of me, which made my childhood full of long stories.

Although my foster mother sometimes tells me not to be annoying, I often go to her house for a walk, and my relatives also advise me that it is the person who gave birth to you, so it doesn't matter if I call my mother, but they are not me, and I never know how uncomfortable I am. Every time those people talk about it in public like nobody's watching, I hate being played as a monkey. But when I went and met, I was like a stranger. I really have nothing to say, so I don't want to go. Last time I went to her house, in the elevator, the person who gave birth to me gave my son some money to tell me not to hate her. I smiled politely and said no, really not. I have no feeling. How can I hate strangers?

I remember that forty or fifty people in our class knew that the three of them had been picked up, and what they didn't know didn't count. You can imagine how serious the preference for boys was at that time. Perhaps because of my childhood experience, I always wanted to have a daughter and cherish her as I used to be, so that when my son was born, I was sad for quite a while.

One of our relatives gave birth to five children and three others in order to have a son. However, when I am old, I still have no son. However, my daughter and daughter-in-law went to the city to do business, and they had a good life.

I also heard from my mother that in her day, forty or fifty years ago, someone married a lame girl to her son, and then traded her lame sister for her son. In rural areas, the way to get married is to change relatives, which is often done in rural areas. For the sake of children's happiness, you can completely ignore it.

The above was twenty or thirty years ago, and the following is now. Although not as much as before, it is undeniable that there are still many.

My cousin, married to Guizhou, gave birth to two daughters, and gave birth to five or six in more than ten years. She is in poor health and is going to have a baby again. Having a second daughter, her mother-in-law took one look and left. It happened that her brother and daughter-in-law gave birth to twin boys, and her mother-in-law disliked her even more. Her husband came back from vacation and went fishing by himself.

A teacher next door gave birth to a daughter for the first time. Her husband never comes to see her and doesn't give money. He also said that it was useless to have a daughter. When I grow up, I can only be sent to a nightclub as a young lady. Grandparents retired, cuddled dogs every day, never gave birth to a daughter, and insinuated that their daughter-in-law gave birth to a daughter, which was not pleasing. The female teacher couldn't stand it anymore and went back to her parents' house.

Fortunately, the female teacher's family conditions are good, and her parents have a lot of money, divided several suites, and helped the female teacher take care of her daughter. The man wants the female teacher to have another one, and his parents want her to divorce her, or he wants another daughter. Regardless of each other, it is difficult for parents to raise two children.

Female teachers just don't want their daughters to be single parents. The husband and wife have separated and haven't left yet. Although she seems to have nothing on the surface, I always feel that her speech is a bit extreme and seems to be stimulated.

Speaking of son preference, although there are boys and girls now, they are all parents' pride. However, China's concept of carrying on the family line for thousands of years still makes women suffer, and it is not for a while.