Humorous stories with high IQ

1。 Once upon a time, three bats went to a bar to drink. The first bat said, "Boss, have a glass of blood." The other two saw it and said, "SB, you are still drinking the old taste." The second bat said, "Boss, a glass of lemon blood." The other two bats laughed: "Look at your taste." The third bat said, "Boss, a cup of boiled water." When the house was just delivered, there were many people coming and going, and every time the security guard asked questions. I wanted to say I was the owner, but I often said I was the landlord ... I ran away when the security guard had a short circuit. In my freshman year of 35, I played a "thief" at a party in the yard, which made me famous and won the favor of girls. On weekdays, I am called a "thief". One day, I was shopping in Asia and was seen by a Harbin girl who spoke very fast in my class. She shouted at me excitedly and rushed over: "Oops-thief-thief", which immediately caught me by the people next to me ... y ā ki ∮ Answer adoption rate: 15.6% 2009-0 1-27. She divided the expenses into three categories. The first class is done on the ground-10 yuan. The second class is done on a stool-20 yuan. The third class is done in bed-30 yuan. This morning, a man threw it at her 10 yuan and did it on the ground. At noon, another man came and gave her 10 won, which was made on the ground. In the evening, another man came and gave her 30 yuan. * * *: "You really have good taste! ! ! 1 Johns: "Taste a fart, 30 yuan, do it three times on the ground! ! Angels and demons. Short joke 1 There is a man who looks like an onion and cries when he walks. Two people fell into a trap. The dead call the dead, and the living call the dead. A: Call for help. 3. cloth and silk are afraid of 10 thousand, paper is afraid of one thousand. There is a fat man who jumped from a tall building. It turned out to be. Fat 5 Teacher: How to reduce white pollution Classmate: Turn the lunch box blue 6 One day, a stag ran faster and faster. Turns out to be a high-speed stag. Miss 7: Business is bad now. Boss: Why did you miss it? Bird flu. Which is the most difficult to answer, tiger skin, elephant skin or lion skin? Because of the eraser (poor). Q: What animal is three heads and one foot? A: 3 heads 1 3 monsters with feet 10 marshmallows: I'm so tired. I feel soft all over. One day, the little yellow duck was hit by a car while crossing the road and shouted' gung'. From then on it became a cucumber. Xiao Ming: Kang, the shark ate mung beans. Kang: I don't know what it has become. Xiaoming: Silly. Green bean paste (mung bean shark) 13 The elephant asked the camel: How did your * * * grow on your back? Camel: Stay away from death. I don't talk to things that grow on your face. Just like looking at a snake, I said, that's much better than your face growing on your penis. 5438+04 How to make your drinking capacity bigger? Say the mercy curse. 2. Be brief. If I win the lottery, I will pack a living person and eat fresh food every day. One day, a mother-in-law was sitting in the middle of the car, and she didn't know the way. My mother-in-law hit the driver with a stick and said, * * * Which driver is this? * * 3 Once upon a time, a man was fishing and caught a squid, begging him: Let me go, don't roast me to eat. The man said, well, let me ask you a few questions. Squid said happily: Take the exam. Then this man roasted the squid. What is that man doing? He's shaking. He's cold. A: Oh, shivering doesn't mean cold. A sausage was locked in the refrigerator and felt very cold. Then he looked at the other one next to him and said, look at you, frozen like this. You are covered in ice. The other said, I'm sorry. It's cold. Another sausage said in surprise, huh? How can you talk like a sausage? 7. I had my hair cut. When I got to school the next day, the students all laughed when they saw his new hairstyle: Xiao Ming, your head looks like a kite. Xiao Ming felt very wronged and ran outside to cry. He cried and cried and flew for 8 1 day. Xiaomei and her boyfriend went out for a drive, and the car was almost out of gas, so they went to refuel. Suddenly a gust of wind blew away her boyfriend's hat. Xiaomei's boyfriend said to her, I'll get my hat, and you help me refuel. Let's go One day, a girl went to tell her fortune and saw that she had a tattoo. She said your boyfriend's name is Liang Xiao. Did she just see the girl say with angry eyes: an orangutan passed through the forest and accidentally picked up the feces of a gibbon, which is annoying. Soon they fell in love. Others asked how you were together. The orangutan replied: it is ape dung (fate) 1. When did you fly? In class, 2. What question is known to everyone and should be answered "I don't know"? Who put P 3? What sound is around you, but you can't hear it? The pronunciation of words is written on words. 4. Who is most interested in work? Some people are happy to be called ghosts. Why? Drunk 6. What else should I bring when I cross the wooden bridge with two buckets of water? Fidgeting. The doctor has a pile of peanuts, and the little master has a pile of peanuts. These two piles of peanuts are together. How many piles of peanuts are there? 18. Before the plane landed, a passenger opened the door and came out. The ship's management saw it, but turned a blind eye. Why? The plane has not taken off yet. Who is the most on the 9th? 5 train? Passenger 10. What never exists but still has a name? Dream engineers, physicists and mathematicians received a task at the same time: nailing the wall. The engineer built a universal nailing machine, that is, a machine that can nail any possible nail into any possible wall. Physicists have done a series of tests on the strength of hammers, nails and walls, and then developed a revolutionary technology-ultra-low-temperature ultrasonic nailing technology. Mathematicians extend the problem to N-dimensional space, and consider the problem that a kinked 1 dimensional nail penetrates the N- 1 dimensional super wall. Many basic theorems have been proved ... Of course, the depth of this topic makes the existence of simple solutions far from obvious. Me: Tell you a joke! You: Hmm. Me: Once upon a time there was a eunuch ... You: What about below? Me: No (you raise your index finger and ask another person): Why didn't Beethoven play the piano with this finger? (After the man finished) Idiot, this is my finger! ! !