Fortune-telling Xiaoying _ Fortune-telling Xiaoying novel

Little humor in life? Can you tell me a few?

1. One Saturday afternoon, Xiaoying came back from the cram school and sat in the living room doing her homework. Suddenly the doorbell rang and Xiaoying ran to open the door. She saw a handsome and tall man standing there. Just when I was wondering who he was, my mother came out of the kitchen. When she saw him, she smiled happily and said, "You finally came!" " "Then he turned to Xiaoying and said," Call Dad! "

Xiaoying thought: Who is this man? Why should I call him dad? Is it mom? ...

She said nothing and was silent. Seeing Xiaoying motionless, her mother said to her, "Call Dad! Xiaoying remained indifferent, staring at her mother and the man, and decided to use silence to represent her last human dignity.

Mother shouted angrily, "Call Dad!" "Xiaoying and her mother are deadlocked.

Mother is anxious and angry. She reached out her right hand and slapped Xiaoying, shouting, "Call Dad! What are you doing standing there? "

Xiaoying suddenly became silly. Unexpectedly, her mother beat him for a strange man. Xiaoying cried sadly and said to the stranger, "Dad … Dad …"

Mom looked surprised and said, "You idiot ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Can he hear you when you call dad that?" People are coming to repair the water tower. Go to the room and ask dad to take him to the top floor! "

2. Once upon a time, a man named Zheng Xiding married a daughter-in-law.

The next morning after the wedding, the daughter-in-law got up and found Zheng Xiding missing, so she went out to look for him.

When I went out, I saw her father-in-law, Zheng Xiding's father, washing her face. The daughter-in-law asked:

Dad, where's Ding?

Grandfather gave her a cold look and said nothing.

Daughter-in-law is a little angry, loudly say:

Dad, where is Zheng Xiding?

My father-in-law was angry, too, and answered in a low voice.

Wash your face! !

3. In junior high school, a biology teacher once talked about the ecological environment on the African grassland, but when no one in the class listened, he became angry and said, "You all look at me! If you don't look at me, how do you know what African wildcats look like? "

4. The cannibal father and son hunted, and the son caught a thin man. His father said, let go, there is no meat! His son also caught a fat man, and his father said, let go, it's too tired! His son captured another beautiful woman, and his father said, take it home and eat your mother at night!

He runs a noodle restaurant, but it always closes before 12.

No matter how good the business is. One day, a woman came near 12.

The boss said sincerely, I'm closing the door. Come back tomorrow. I don't want that woman to be more sincere.

Brother, I'm so hungry. Get me a bowl of noodles to eat. I'll leave after eating. The boss is very nice.

I made her a bowl of noodles, and the time approached 12 minutes. The boss kept urging the woman.

The terrible 12 finally came, and at the urging of the boss, the woman finally stopped eating noodles.

Slowly raise her head, which has been buried deeply, and through the rising heat in the bowl,

The boss jumped into his throat when he saw that her chin was full of bright red boss's heart.

All the blood rushed to his head, and he turned to flee, but he heard the terrible voice of that woman: Boss, don't rush, I eat fast enough, you see my mouth is bleeding ~

6. Xiao Ming returned to the classroom after going to the toilet and said to the teacher:

There are many ants in the toilet.

The teacher suddenly thought of the English word ant for ants, so he tested Xiaoming: What did the ants say?

Xiao a face of vacant ... Said:

Ant, he said nothing.

7. One day, Mr. Wang drove home.

Suddenly there was a big rush next to him, and when he passed by, the driver shouted at him:

"Dude, have you ever driven a big run?" Say that finish, 1 of "sou" took off.

Mr. Wang was very angry and stepped on the gas to catch up.

Seeing him catch up, the driver stretched out his head and shouted to him:

"Dude, have you ever driven a big run?" Then, the whoosh disappeared again.

"Mama of, cow B what!" Mr. Wang felt better after scolding, so he stopped chasing.

After driving for a while,

Mr. Wang saw that the bus just turned over on the side of the road. He was curious and slowly approached.

I saw the driver is under the car, a faint said:

"The elder brothers, ran a catastrophe? Do you know where its brakes are? " ..

8. 1. The last thing that should happen during barbecue:

1) the meat is cooked with you; 2) charcoal is cold; 3) Clams are autistic; 4) the barbecue grill is split; 5) There is no kindling; 6) meat and shelves engage in small groups; 7) Sausage meat plays underworld with you; 8) Black wheel puncture; 9) Onions pretend to be garlic with you; Corn will play hardball with you

9. The hungry wolf is looking for food, and he hears his family telling his children: If you cry again, I will throw you out to feed the wolf! However, the child cried all night. ...

The next morning, the wolf sighed: alas ... human beings are not trustworthy!

10.HKUST There is a student who will graduate from his senior year soon. He has no job and no girlfriend. So he went to tell a fortune.

You, you will be down and out until you are forty years old. ...

When the students' eyes lit up and thought there would be a turn for the better, they asked, and then what?

Then you will get used to this life. ...