Why can the children of the rich and the poor be distinguished at a glance?

A few days ago, Li Yan and Toto were on the same stage in Paris. As soon as the photo came out, many netizens left a m

Why can the children of the rich and the poor be distinguished at a glance?

A few days ago, Li Yan and Toto were on the same stage in Paris. As soon as the photo came out, many netizens left a message: Li Yan is a rich boy, super confident and not stage fright.

This statement reminds me that when I was chatting with my colleague not long ago, she had a similar argument.

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Colleague Xiao Q said confidently that she used to set up a stall in a shopping mall to practice a pair of eyes: she could see the economic conditions of her children's home at a glance.

Judging from her practicality, I think she is like a fortune teller who stands a stall.

She told me that the children of rich people (not necessarily rich people, but people who eat better) are well dressed and look confident. When communicating with people, I can clearly feel that children's thinking is very clear. When talking, they always look directly at each other, and what they say is more like a conversation between adults.

She said that some of these well-fed children can speak three languages: English, Cantonese and Mandarin, and some can name more than 20 rare animals in the atlas, such as toucans, ring-tailed lemurs, hazel dormouse and nautilus, so that adults begin to doubt their lives.

Moreover, poor children generally have timid expressions on their faces, and they will shrink back when they meet people. Obviously eager but afraid to take that step boldly, lacking self-confidence.

When they want something, they often only dare to tentatively ask their mother if they can buy it.

At this time, their faces usually have a complex expression that does not match their age, mixed with caution, hesitation, expectation and fear.

Xiao Q gave an example: a girl and her mother passed by their painting booth. When the girl saw that she could draw on the stone, she felt very fresh and especially wanted to try it.

She asked about the price, and when she learned that it was 39 yuan, she whispered to her mother.

Her mother immediately rejected her: "You can draw when you come back to our house. Why are you painting here? "

The little girl was a little wronged, and she fought for it again: "But there are people here who can teach and draw on stones."

"Do we have time today? There are other things to do, let's go. " Mom turned her down again without thinking.

This time, the child seems to know something. He ran over and asked Xiao Q, "Can you make it cheaper?"

Xiao Q said that at that moment, she was very distressed by her children. The real reason why parents don't want their children to paint is that they are distressed by money. Children know everything, but they can only help their mothers save face.

Painting once is very cheap, and almost everyone can afford it. Mom may not know that she saved money for painting once, but she put out a flame in the child's heart.

In the future, children may still have a wish, but at the same time, another voice will jump out of their hearts: is this too expensive? Is it possible for mom to agree?

Children who grow up in poverty can only be sensible too early. This understanding is not a real understanding. This understanding is the rationality of asking how much money before playing, the obedience and restraint under the mother's values, and the desire that is gradually cut off.

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But can desire really be cut off? No, it will appear in another form.

A netizen on Zhihu said that he once met two middle school students at the gate of Haagen-Dazs. The boy wanted a girl to be his girlfriend, and the girl agreed, on condition that Haagen-Dazs had an ice cream hot pot.

After asking the specific price of ice cream hot pot, the boy hesitated for a long time. After all, it is really not cheap for students. But in the end, I agreed with the girl to jump three feet, because she "can finally take photos and send them to school and QQ" (the girl's original words at that time)

The netizen also met a girl who went to high school, and provided such an exchange for the boys who have been pursuing her-a bracelet of Chow Tai Fook as a playground date. An ipad, holding hands again. New Apple phone, another kiss. If all three are satisfied, I will be a boy girlfriend for one month.

Some people say that these girls may just want to test whether boys really love them, but the purest campus emotion has become a material exchange, which is inevitable.

Another desire is more terrible.

It's news about "campus loan". A female college student borrowed a high-interest campus loan to buy an iPhone, but was unable to repay it, so she had to continue to borrow it. The second, third and fourth strokes are repeated, and the hole is getting bigger and bigger.

The total amount of her loans was 1 1000 yuan, but she actually only got 70,000 yuan. However, when the principal and interest of all the loans add up, she has to pay back 230 thousand yuan.

When college students have no access to loans, debt collectors come to them, threatening to drop out of school, threatening their safety, and even sending nude photos of borrowers to their parents.

Parents of students who apply for campus loans are mostly ordinary workers or farmers. They failed to teach children how to get along with the beast of desire.

In the final analysis, whether rich or poor, it is essentially to teach children the relationship between desires.

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In the circus, releasing wild animals without domestication will bring disaster, because they may eat people at any time. Only domesticated animals can get along with people and perform on the stage.

So is desire. The most active desire must be accompanied by ability. When abilities and desires don't match, please try to match them first. Tragedy is endless desire, but we never understand the limited ability.

Parents can be poor, but don't forget to set the boundaries of desire. Trying to kill a child's desire will only make it grow faster.

You can also have money, but don't just give things without guidance, which will pull children into the abyss of desire and make them unscrupulous.

Bai Bangni said in "The Story of Qipa": In fact, everyone has a wild horse of desire in his heart. It can be raised or domesticated in captivity. But don't pretend it doesn't exist and reject it.

Desire is terrible, like a scourge, which may devour people; Desire is beautiful, it will take you to the place where flowers are blooming.

In the mind of every parent, it is necessary to set a boundary. At both ends of this border, it is not poverty and wealth, but teaching children how to get along with desire.

When the realization of desire can improve children's aesthetic ability, cognitive ability, habit formation and psychological training, it is necessary for parents to boost this desire. Sign up for interest classes, buy good books, explore nature with children, have a lifelong parent-child tour with children, and realize your wishes again and again, and children will get amazing growth from it.

And if these things are beyond our economic ability, we can also find other flexible ways to support them instead of cutting them directly. When others travel around the world with their children, measure the world with their feet; You can explore the world with your children at home with a globe and geography book.

But if the desire is only to satisfy vanity and achieve comparison, parents should not be the driving force of this desire. This desire is a bottomless pit, and the consequences are unimaginable if it is not blocked.

Whether poor or rich, people who live freely often start with the desire to relax.

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