A humorous story full of routines

1. Once upon a time, there was a mountain. There is a temple in the mountains. There is an old monk and a young monk in the temple. One day, the old monk told a story to the young monk. He said: Once upon a time, there was a mountain. There is an old monk and a young monk in the temple. One day, the old monk told a story to the young monk. (Infinitely repeated). M: I really want to see this new movie. W: Yes, I heard it's OK. Blabla male: Do you want to go with me? M: The one on XX Street is delicious. Woman: Really? I haven't been there. M: Let's go together another day. 4. A long time ago, the tortoise and the rabbit ran a race. The rabbit runs very fast, leaving the tortoise far behind. The rabbit ran for a while, thinking that the tortoise must not catch up with itself. So I decided to have a rest and fell asleep under a tree, but the tortoise didn't give up. It runs very hard. When the rabbit woke up, it was almost over! The rabbit began to run in a hurry and ran faster and faster. Duang crashed into a tree and died. 5. Once upon a time, there was a mountain. There is a temple in the mountains. There is an old monk and a young monk in the temple. One day, the old monk brought back a turtle from the outside and said to the young monk, "I'm going down the mountain to beg for alms now." Please take care of the tortoise for me. " The young monk took advantage of the old monk's coming down the mountain to make alms, boiled the turtle and left its shell on the table. When the old monk came back and saw the turtle shell, he asked the young monk, "Where is my turtle?" The young monk said, "I'm telling a story to the tortoise!" " "The first story. A primary school in Kaohsiung is a model with a long history of running a school. There is a row of toilets behind the campus, which are not used by teachers and students in other grades except the first and second grade children ... it is always filled with a gloomy atmosphere. The third toilet is always locked. One afternoon, a senior three boy was in a hurry to go to the toilet, and every toilet was occupied. He couldn't help it, so he opened the door of the third room ... strangely enough, he couldn't open it at ordinary times, but today, how ... anyway, let's solve it quickly ... just when he relaxed and wanted to shout, he suddenly felt a cold below ... a skinny hand stretched out from below. He let out a cry, took a knife out of his pocket and cut it on a strange hand. Say that finish, he immediately rushed out. After that, he never dared to set foot in that toilet again. After a long time, the matter gradually faded from the senior student's mind. One day, he and his friends were playing basketball in the basketball court near the toilet row, and a ball in the opposite direction turned around and flew into the toilet. The students blamed him for spreading it around and told him to get it back quickly. He mumbled something and went straight into the toilet. He saw an old woman coming out of the toilet with a ball. He walked quickly to the old woman, trying to get it. The old woman's face never lifted, but the knife marks on the back of her hand caught his attention. He asked, "old woman, why are there knife marks on the back of your hand?" I saw the old woman slowly raise her head, stare at him with wide eyes and say, "You cut it, don't you remember?" When he finished, he ran to him with his teeth bared. He fainted with a loud cry. It is said that the senior classmate became a little demented after such a fright, and the row of toilets was about to be demolished. The second story? Hands? Do you like chicken feet? After listening to this story, if you dare to eat again, I will be convinced. A Fang is the owner of a food stall. His business was not very good before, but since he got the guidance of an expert, his business has flourished immediately. Especially chicken feet with sauce, but he supplies ten servings of triazole every day, and no one comes. This is a painful experience for me as a diner. Sometimes I go late, so I can't sleep. Just for that day. His kitchen is covered with black cloth. Nobody knows how he cooks. The strangest thing is that I have never seen him buy anyone's chicken feet, and he doesn't have a chicken. Then how did he get his raw materials? I couldn't help it that day, so I quietly hid on the roof of his house and opened a corner of the roof tile, thinking of cooking it myself when I learned. I saw it through the crack, which I will never forget. I see a hand. That's a human hand. It is still attached to a person's body, but it is still incomplete. This man is still alive. I saw his face twisted, but I couldn't name it. His whole body is only skin and bones, but his hands are flesh. The hand was nailed to the wall, gray and yellow, mixed with a trace of blood, still shaking. At this time, someone outside called a chicken claw, and I skillfully saw Albania from that hand. I was so scared that I fell from above and fell into Fang's kitchen ... the third story? A couple always quarrel at ordinary times. Once they quarrel again, the husband killed his wife in a rage and buried her body in the backyard. A few days later, the man felt very strange. Why don't children ask themselves at all when they haven't seen their mother these days? So one day he asked the child, "Your mother is not at home these days, so why don't you worry?" " ? The child replied: "I feel so strange. Why are you carrying your mother behind your back these days? " ? 1: Let me tell you a story. 2: ok. 1: Once upon a time, there was a dragon king who recruited a son-in-law. 1: The son-in-law is required to weigh 90 kg. 1: The tortoise weighed it and it was exactly 89 kg. 1: I have to leave sadly. 1: I met shrimp when I went out. 1: The shrimp asked the tortoise why he was so sad. 1: The tortoise told the shrimp what happened. 1: At last, the Dragon King left the tortoise. The Dragon King asked the tortoise why he had gained a kilo. When the turtle was nervous, the shrimp fell out of the turtle's ear. 1: The Dragon King asked Shrimp, Shrimp, why are you in the turtle's ear? 1: The shrimp said, I am telling a story to the tortoise. Horse racing in Tian Ji is a proper routine in history. Obviously, all three horses were inferior to others, but they won the race abruptly. Lin Xiangru returned to Zhao intact. What impressed me the most was that the emperor wouldn't let go when he got the Choi, but Lin Xiangru's words "Choi's flaws show the king", went to Choi's, and then began to threaten the king of Qin. For a detailed story, you can search these two idioms, and now I think of two. Nursery rhymes: Once upon a time there was a mountain ~ There was a temple in the mountain ~ There was an old monk and a young monk in the temple ~ One day the old monk told the young monk a story ~ He said ~ (infinite repetition) The universe hero Altman: Ah dumb ~ The big monster appeared ~ ~ The XOO team set out to destroy the monster! N fighters crashed into a mountain and exploded ~ ~ Altman turned into a monster and struggled ~ Ah dumb ~ The small light on Altman warned that the energy was insufficient ~ Altman broke out ~ ~ The monster was destroyed ~ Altman looked at us and nodded and said, "Sa!" "Fly like the sky ~ Qiong Yao: female; You say male: you say female: you say why male: why female: why male: why female: why male: why male: why male: why female: why male: why male: why male: why female: why male: why male: why male: why female: why female: why male: why male: why male: why female: why male: why female: why female: why male.