If your parents-in-law are willing to take care of your children, will you?

First of all, I think this condition you set is a bit ridiculous: parents can't interfere in all education! It's not realistic at all. You may not be able to bring it because of your poor geographical location and busy work with your in-laws, but that doesn't mean you don't intervene in anything. Unless you abandoned the child.

Put aside your conditions and talk about my personal views.

Give priority to parents. There is really no way for parents-in-law to take care of children, which is conducive to the establishment of attachment relationship, and a healthy attachment relationship has a far-reaching impact on children's education, which depends on children's trust in your education. If children are brought up by the elderly when they are young, they will be brought up by their parents when they reach adolescence. At this time, the children are in a rebellious period and basically will not listen to their parents' education.

Therefore, we must combine our family situation and give priority to our parents!

The misunderstanding of the elderly taking care of their children On the Internet, we often see people complaining about all kinds of wonderful phenomena of the elderly taking care of their children, such as eating and running after the children, clothes reaching out to open their mouths and so on. It seems that the old man will destroy the child if he takes care of the child.

In fact, many people have certain misunderstandings about the elderly and children, and many things cannot be generalized.

The first point: information was not as developed as it is now, and the education level of the older generation is not as high as it is now. Therefore, many old people still have outdated concepts and do not have too many parenting concepts, which is easy for children to form some bad habits.

The second point: With the progress of the information age, many post-60s and post-70s are more open-minded, with a much higher education level than before, and they also know how to use computers and mobile phones to learn scientific parenting concepts.

For today's children, the old people they face are no longer as closed-minded and backward in education as before.

The third point: In a few years, I believe that most post-80s and post-90s people will take care of their grandchildren in a relatively scientific way.

To put it simply, not all old people dote on their children, and old people who have knowledge and know how to learn can also bring out excellent children. If there are excellent old people at home and parents don't have time to bring them, you can rest assured to give them.

Every family has its own different family background. It is best to be accompanied by parents, but some families can't help it. However, whether it is parents or the elderly, the most important thing to solve the problem of children's family education is for parents to continue their studies and cultivate themselves!

Dad's scientific way of raising a baby, sharing more interesting things, experiences and knowledge.

Hello, everyone, I'm @ Ruibao Junbao, and I'm glad to answer your questions. I want to say a few words about your question.

As the saying goes, it is mutual affection for your in-laws to help you with your children, and it is also your duty not to help you with your children. It's good that your in-laws can help you with your children. Not to mention, you can do your own thing at the same time. However, what you said has one additional condition, that is, you can't interfere with all children's education. If this matter gets bigger, it will directly determine your child's future growth path. After all, the children brought out by in-laws are completely different from those brought out by parents, and the educational concepts of the two generations are completely different. These words and deeds will directly affect the future of children. For children, the best companionship is parents. I personally can't accept this additional condition.

My personal best advice is that you should take care of the children at ordinary times, and you should be responsible for their daily life and education, supplemented by their in-laws. Because it is true that the thoughts of the two generations are different in all aspects, the children brought out by parents are completely different from those brought out by in-laws. For the establishment of children's future sense of security, children's personality and parents' guidance are still the most critical and important.

To sum up, despite the help of family members, parents should be the ones who guide, educate and accompany their children the most. Parents are irreplaceable roles. No matter whether parents or grandparents take care of their children, they can't say which is more advantageous. After all, it is for the growth of children. I'm glad to answer your question. I hope my answer can help you.

Hello! I'm Xiao Di. I'm glad to answer your question.

When my parents-in-law are willing to take care of our children, they don't want us to interfere with them. Things. Then we have to understand that they want to take care of their children by themselves. Educational experience in raising children.

I think if the way in-laws educate their children is not too superstitious or unscientific, they can take them with confidence, and they can rest assured.

If they take care of their children according to the rude methods of the old society or some indigenous methods without scientific basis, then we should consider whether to take care of them. Let's analyze whether the way they take care of their children will affect their growth.

First, the way parents-in-law take care of their children

The way parents-in-law take care of their children may also be the kind of children who were born and raised before. If they encounter some problems, they may deal with them in the past. There may be some problems in these methods, so how to deal with them scientifically.

Second, properly observe the way in-laws take care of their children.

When parents-in-law are allowed to take care of children, we try not to disturb and interfere. This will make it less stressful for them to raise their children, but at the same time, we have to be there. Pay attention to the way they take care of their children. What's wrong? If there is a big mistake, we should communicate in time.

It is easier for in-laws to take care of children, so we should not interfere too much. What we have to do is to work hard. Make them feel relaxed with children.

Write at the end:

When parents-in-law take care of children, we should let them take care of them completely. In this way, we can't put too much energy on children at work. Children will grow up well under the leadership of their parents-in-law, because they all have past experience.

The above are detailed answers and opinions on this question, hoping to help you.

Thank you for reading and wish you a happy life!

If the parents-in-law take care of the children, but the premise is that I can't intervene in all the education of the children, first of all, I don't quite understand why your parents-in-law put forward such conditions. If I want to stay out of it, I can totally understand, but I can't understand the education of children, but if it were me, I would see who would take care of the children under what circumstances.

(1) My parents-in-law are senior intellectuals. If the parents-in-law family is a scholar, a senior intellectual, has better knowledge and foresight than you, has a set of own theories about children's education and can teach them well, has a good personality and has a good relationship with them, then if I am busy with my own career and have no time to take care of my children, I will be very happy and confident to give my children to two old people.

(2) The in-laws have a low level of education. If your parents-in-law have a low level of education and low vision, and suggest that parents can't take care of their children's education, then you can conclude that your parents-in-law are selfish, arrogant, unreasonable and powerful, and I won't entrust such people to him. Although you don't have to take care of anything when your parents-in-law take care of your children, you will be very relaxed, but remember that if your children are not taken care of before the age of 6, it will be difficult to take care of them after the age of 6.

If you are really busy and have no time to take care of the children, then find a family member to take care of them for you and hire a childcare teacher. However, your child's education must not be handed over to others, and the company of parents and children is still necessary. If you give birth to him, you should support him, educate him and be responsible for his life. Don't be busy, making money will be an excuse for you not to manage your children well. Remember that a child's life is only once.

This view is purely personal, welcome to discuss it in the comments section.

Then I can't give it to them

What kind of consideration will we have if we leave it to the elderly to take care of it?

I definitely want to take care of my job, and I don't want to lose my job because of my children.

But it doesn't mean that we just have to work and don't care about our children.

I think every mother who continues to work after giving birth loves her children as much as a full-time mother.

We will go home from work, spend as much time with our children as possible and love them more.

Parents-in-law take care of children, after all, it belongs to intergenerational education, which will be different from our educational philosophy. In the process of children's growth, parents must be the first responsible person.

If in-laws take care of their children through them, we can't participate in their education, which is unreasonable and undesirable.

I don't know what is the starting point and reason for my in-laws to consider this issue. If my in-laws insist on this, we would rather bring our own than not.

For the children's company, in the past few years, if I can adjust my plan or have the ability to hire a good nanny. I think it's all worthwhile.

If you can't interfere with children's education, then parents are not even guardians of their children, and they lose the meaning of being parents. Personally, I think they can't accept it.

Weiwei and I are very good friends. In April this year, Wei Wei's second child was born, a big fat man. Many people envy her, but Vivian is not happy. Slightly told me that when she gave birth to Dabao, she had many differences with her mother-in-law in parenting, and finally said that she could take good care of the children. As a result, with Bauer, it's really beyond my power to take care of two children by myself, but I really don't know what to do when I think about how I was so stiff with my mother-in-law.

In fact, many mothers have such concerns. Mother-in-law is very enthusiastic to help with children, but there are often many contradictions due to different parenting concepts. If it were you, would you let the old man take care of the children?

1, worried that the elderly will spoil their children;

@ Ma Bao Xiao Min: My mother-in-law loves children very much. The mother-in-law wants whatever the child wants. She can't wait to pick the stars and the moon. Several times, my mother-in-law said that she would move back home to help me take care of my children and let me go to work with peace of mind, but the thought of her spoiled child worried me. If the mother-in-law really comes, the child will be spoiled by her mother-in-law sooner or later.

2. Worried that children will be hurt by their peers;

@ Ma Bao Wenwen: My husband and I are very busy at work. I'll go back to work after maternity leave. At first, I thanked my parents-in-law for taking care of my children, but after a year and a half, I really regret giving my son to them.

Parents-in-law love their children dearly and won't let them do anything. Everything must be done for them. After a long time, the child's autonomy is very poor and he can't do anything by himself. They are super dependent on their mother-in-law, and they will show timidity and inferiority when they encounter things. This makes my father and I really anxious. This terrible gap hurts people, almost hurting my children.

3. Worried that the elderly can't afford it:

@ Jingjing Jingjing: When I gave birth, my mother-in-law was over 60 years old. My mother-in-law insisted on helping with the children, but I didn't refuse. But some time ago, the child always ran up and down the stairs, and her mother-in-law actually hurt her knee in order to chase him. It took a long time to recover.

In fact, when people get old, their physical strength and energy will get worse. If the children are lively and active, the old people will really be overwhelmed, and they don't want their mother-in-law to be exhausted because of taking care of the children.

4. Worried about the mother-in-law relationship:

Ma Bao Juanjuan: Before I gave birth, my relationship with my mother-in-law was ok, but when I gave birth and my mother-in-law came to wait for next month, we began to have various contradictions. I cried myself to sleep many times. If I hadn't lived together, I might not be so stiff.

Seeing these reasons, does Ma Bao feel the same way? Although the old man is well-intentioned, he has to consider many practical problems, and it is not too late to make a decision when he thinks these problems are not problems.

It's better to keep your children with you if you have financial strength. If your economy is average, you have to have two people to earn money to support your family. Parents can bring them if they want.

Or choose to bring your own, because the elderly take care of their children too much, and parents are the children's first teachers.