Fortune-telling wedding jokes _ Fortune-telling wedding jokes daquan

I have never seen such an interesting joke.

I have never seen such an interesting joke.

1. A woman took her goldfish to the vet.

She said to the vet. I think it has epilepsy. ?

The vet looked at it and said, I think it's quite quiet. ?

The woman said:? I haven't taken it out of the fish tank yet! ?

When Lacey was six years old, she met a blind fortune teller. The blind man touched Laixi's head and predicted with foresight that the child would be a great official in the future!

The whole family was jubilant, and the young mind made up its mind to live up to the fortune teller's expectations.

Years later, Lai was sitting in the backyard of the coffin shop with a spatula in his hand, looking at the direction of the blind man, and said with tears in his eyes, Fuck ~

3、? What to eat today?

? Scrambled eggs with tomatoes. ?

? How can I be the one who scrambled eggs and tomatoes?

Liu Bei fled desperately, but when he heard that several ladies were still trapped inside, he couldn't help crying: there will be no more women. what can I do?

Kongming leaned forward and said, Master, don't panic. He has a clever plan.

Liu Bei smiled through tears: Nima, there is a female branch. You didn't say anything earlier!

5. Lying in her arms, asking Sha Wujing for nothing? Brother Jing, what am I to you?

? You are the most beautiful cloud in my heart.

? Huh? So I am a floating cloud.

? Yes, everything is just a cloud. ?

6. When the police came to the crime scene, a man said: His death was a little strange.

The other asked, what's the matter?

The policeman replied, I don't know. Di Renjie always said that.

7. The doctor asked the patient:? In your family history, your father's death only said? Neck problem? Can you tell me more specifically?

The patient a sullen, way:? Hanging. ?

8. The science man went to his girlfriend's house to meet her parents. It happened to rain heavily that day.

As soon as I entered the door, I heard my girlfriend and mother complain: Your father went shopping, knowing it was going to rain, and he didn't take an umbrella when he went out. ?

The tech man rushed out with an umbrella.

Girlfriend: You haven't met my dad. Who are you going to give an umbrella to? ?

Science and engineering male way:? No problem, I can infer your father's appearance from the appearance of you and your mother. ?

9. I:? Boss, how much is this 30% discount wallet?

Boss:? 1000。 ?

Me:? It's so expensive, isn't it a 30% discount

Boss:? This is not on sale. ?

Me:? This sign says 30% discount. ?

Boss:? Oh, that sign explains the structure of the wallet. ?

10 Xiaoming is very naughty. He ran to a nearby orchard to steal apples and was found.

The owner of the orchard asked, What's your name? I want to tell your parents! ?

Xiao Ming calmly said:? No, my parents know my name. ?

1 1, Taobao sells coffins by mail! There is another comment in the bunker: I have been buried for five days, and I feel very dry inside. I only succeeded in possessing it today, so I can borrow compliments from others. Good to sell! Come down and play sometime.

12、? This bread is like this. Do you still have it? Stop eating and feed the birds! ?

? Birds can only be fed to woodpeckers. ?

13, there is a strange person who sucks blood. He can suck a mouthful of blood through his mouth, hands and arms.

Later, it even developed to lie on the table and suck blood.

Results After investigation, I finally found this person's gingivitis. . . . . .

14, on the way home after the blind date, the woman said that she still didn't want to develop because she thought I was a little unmanly.

? Ok, but thank you for walking home with me. ? I said, closing the door.

15, an explorer got lost in the forest, wandered for two days, and finally met someone. He said happily, Thank God, I've been lost for two days, and I finally met someone today. ?

That humanity: Friend, what's there to be happy about? I have been lost for seven days. ?

16, male, weighing about 220 kg, married, fat and urinating, with prostate.

I often go to the toilet five or six times every night. After a long time, the unit will send it to a famous enterprise (night).

17, follow me: What do you think Iron Man will become after he dies?

I was puzzled, and finally the second goods came faintly: the railway (iron ghost)! !

18, my niece who is in primary school asked me: Uncle, I do eye exercises at school. There are two classmates in front of me, one is a demonstrator and the other is a supervisor. The demonstrators asked us to follow him, but the supervisor wouldn't let us open our eyes. I will deduct points when I see the demonstrator. What should I do?

19、? Have you ever thought about being a programmer when you use pirated software? ! How do they support their families? ! ?

? Ha ha ha, don't be ridiculous. Programmers have no family to support. . . ?

20. A crow was thirsty and saw a bottle by the roadside. There is not much water in the bottle, and the mouth of the bottle is very small. What should we do?

The clever crow put pebbles into the bottle one by one.

When the water reached the bottle mouth, an old lady came over with a bow, emptied the stone and picked up the bottle.

2 1. An executive's young wife gave birth to a son. The executive wanted to know who his son looked like, so he quickly sent his deputy to the maternity hospital.

The deputy came back and said to the supervisor: Just like you! ?

? That's right. Tell me more. ?

? Take a closer look. Your son is bald, hairless and has a big belly. He can eat and drink. He either sleeps or cries all day, and there are a group of people around him. ?

22. Murphy Ask the new female guests to talk about their own mate selection criteria. ?

Female guest:? The man in my mind should be compassionate, self-motivated, responsible and tolerant.

Murphy:? Can you make it simpler?

Female guest:? Oh, he should be rich. ?

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