Urgent need for a two-day three-person comic sketch script

A: There are three kinds of stupid people in the world-those who take medicine without illness or disaster. They don't yell at me when they see this handsome guy, and they don't laugh when they see this sketch. Would you stop laughing if you want to hear me say that? ! Sick, heart disease. To tell the truth, my major is fortune telling. Now that I have seen it, I have opened such a psychological clinic, so that I can make money with confidence and give full play to my specialty of cheating. Wear a pair of glasses. You look a little knowledgeable. Hey ... man, how can you be so smart? Ha, come and live!

Please come in!

Ouch ... Doctor, are you in a psychological clinic?

Yes, yes, please sit down.

Doctor, it's hard to be human. Why do you think it is so difficult to be a man?

Why do you say that?

B: Brother, sit down and listen. I'll speak slowly! My name is bachelor, and my nickname is stinky tofu. A boss is as fierce as a tiger, scraping my skin to the bone, and money dances in front of me, but he doesn't buy one. Look at me coldly. Yes, it pains me. I'm worse than a widow now. Now I don't even know if I'm a man or a woman.

You look as thin as a dog. Have you suffered a lot? Come here, let me see your face.

B: look at the face.

Our clinic has face-to-face service.

B: it's quite hanging.

Small eyes, single eyelid, golden aquiline nose. Why does this mouth look like a navel? ! Well, brother, I found all the shortcomings of human facial features, all in your face. The workers in the factory will not agree if they are not abused.

C is coming, come in.

C (talking while walking): It's really hard to be a man these days! Why is it so difficult to be an earthman?

Why does a fat pig come here?

A: Come on, let's do it.

C: doctor! I don't know, although I am so fat, I am actually very conservative and tortured!

C: Look, this belly, this face, is filled with Chili water, and it's swollen like this.

B: Brother, who called like my boss?

C: Who else could it be? Of course, it is the president of the company that is "you stupid" and "I stupid"

B: Brothers and colleagues! We are a company! Big brother!

C: Little brother!

Two people embrace together.

A: Don't be so affectionate. People think they are gay at first sight!

B, C: Who is gay?

A: Well, seeing how pathetic you are, I'll send you a couplet. The first part is: as long as life is ok. The bottom line is: even if there is some green on the head. Horizontal batch: Ninja Turtles. By the way, I must ask, what does your boss look like?

B, C: People in our unit once wrote a pair of couplets to describe his appearance:

B: the first part is: look at the back, there are thousands of troops.

C: The bottom line is: make a sharp turn and scare away all the princes.

A: what is a horizontal batch?

B, C: My mother's teeth!

B: It is said that people on earth are fragile, so I went to work in such a fog. Since I entered their company, I got up earlier than the chicken every day, ate worse than the pig and did more than the donkey! Don't say anything, big brother, it's all tears ~

C: You are not bad! And was scolded and beaten.

A: I have to blow some calves quickly and start cheating.

C: Huh?

A: Nothing. I said it would be ruined if it went on like this.

B, C: Doctor ... You must save me!

A: That's easy to say. In view of your situation, I will provide you with two packages to deal with the boss: one is the horror package; One is the peace package, you can choose it yourself ~

C: The horror package is terrible. I am timid, please tell me something peaceful.

Peace package, right? Well, this involves intellectual property rights.

I see ... Intellectual property ... Do you think this is ok? (Pay 200 yuan money)

A: OK! Look at your sincerity. Let me tell you something. The simplest language used in the peace plan is-resign!

C: resign? This is basically impossible. You don't know the details. I still have a salary of 2000 yuan! I have nothing, so it's over.

B: Doctor, I can't make a peace package either. Please give me something terrible.

Dr. A made a sign for money.

B gave the doctor 50 yuan money.

A: Being a escort for a cat is not like a mouse. You want money, but you're dead! This makes me very embarrassed.

Doctor, I'm in a dilemma, too

A: Just 50 yuan.

B: There are still some changes! Can you not?

You don't think I dare accept it, do you? (Put the change in the belt) I'm telling you, this horror bag is very dangerous and needs perseverance and courage!

B: After all this, what are we afraid of?

C: Just say it. I can hold on.

A: Have some wine. After drinking, find a corner while the wine is strong. You have to hide: I don't believe you scratch me or bite me, and I can't kill him ~

C, is this about killing people?

I also know that. I mainly tried to scare him by putting lipstick on an old lady-give her some color to see see.

B: Is that all right?

A: A dog will bite its own ass, that's for sure.

This pager ... the boss paged me. I will call him back ...

My lunch box and mobile phone are charged in the dormitory. Lend me your mobile phone.

A: Comrade patient, I have to pay for your small clinic, and I have to pay for my mobile phone ~ Call quickly! Hey, wait a minute, let me explain something to you!

Well, you agreed.

A: First, be ruthless. Second, be patient. If you can't bear it, you don't have to bear it anymore! If it really doesn't work, kill yourself.

C: Huh? Boss, I have no problem with you. The signal was bad just now. Oh, it would be nice to invite four colleagues here for dinner. Tell us to go, too. Thank you ~ ~! How much is it to pay ~ ~? 8800, ah, nothing ~ I have no problem with you. I mean, it only costs 8800 yuan to invite four students to dinner, and it saves money! Ok, I'll go right away! Uh, 88

Doctor, we must pay my boss at once. We had a good chat today. I'll come back later to listen to you!

A: OK! Goodbye, alas ~ this money is too easy to earn. Call my mother quickly. Report report

(mobile phone recruitment). Easy? Where is the mobile phone? Shit, that stinky tofu has been taken away. Don't run!