A sentence in the 2020 classic is very funny. I don't know what to talk about with Daquan.

1. I accidentally tore up my classmate's Chinese book and folded the plane. She said she would cut me in two days and waited for more than a year. She doesn't have me in her heart. no

My girlfriend was given a one-euro bag, and I can only give her a one-euro resistor. People give their girlfriends LV handbags, but I can only give them AV compressed bags. People gave my girlfriend a W car, and I could only give her a W light bulb. I can only give my girlfriend a BMW of M, a bracelet of K, a new text document of K, a laptop and a brain of pad.

3. It is no problem for girls and girls to go shopping hand in hand, and boys and boys are just stirring up the base; There is no problem for girls to kiss girls, and boys are just stirring up the base; It is no problem for girls to call their husbands or wives, but boys and boys just stir up the base; It's okay for girls to share a bed with girls, but boys and boys just screwed up. To sum up, in this world, as long as two men appear together, it is a spoiler.

Honey, I'm pregnant. Come and feel it ~ Listen, did you hear the child calling you dad? How could you possibly hear it? Listen. Dear, please remember that you are a man, and don't find such an excuse to eat next time you are hungry!

There is a gecko looking at me on the ceiling, and I don't know what to say to it. The atmosphere in the whole room became awkward.

6. A man sends a romantic message to his girlfriend: What are you doing? Are you dreaming? Pass on your dreams to me; Are you laughing? Send a smile; Are you crying? Texting your tears makes me sad together. Girlfriend replied: I am defecating.

7. I have been blessed by the sun since summer. I told the sun that it must be exposed to rain and dew, but the sun just wouldn't listen. Just look at me like Bao Zheng, look at me, look at me.

8. On the first day, the little white rabbit went fishing by the river, caught nothing and went home. The next day, the little white rabbit went fishing by the river again, but found nothing and went home. On the third day, the little white rabbit just arrived at the river, and a big fish jumped out of the river and shouted at the little white rabbit, if you dare to use rainbow candy as bait again, I will trample you to death!

10. The teacher asked the students: Who has lived without shit since ancient times, you take the next sentence. Student A: Who defecates without paper? The teacher was very angry and told the students to stand up. At this time, the teacher saw that it was snowing outside the window. Unfortunately, it didn't rain when it snowed, but it turned into rain when it reached the ground. How troublesome it is to turn into rain. Why didn't it rain at first? The student said: Teachers don't eat shit when they eat, but when they eat it, it becomes shit. How troublesome it is to turn into shit. Why didn't you eat shit in the first place The teacher fainted on the spot! (turning)

1 1. The old pedant went to town and couldn't resist the temptation to follow his friends into the romantic field. When I asked, 1000 yuan a night, I ran away. When I got home, everyone lamented: it's easier to stay at home for a thousand days than to go out for a day!

13. Lang Xianping said that it is good to have a daughter now, but it is useless to have a son. The evidence is that he has two sons. One Spring Festival, he called his eldest son and asked: Where are you? The eldest son replied: at the mother-in-law's house. I called my youngest son again and asked, where are you? The youngest son replied: at the mother-in-law's house. Then the younger son asked, Dad, where are you? Lang Xianping replied: I am also at my mother-in-law's house.

14. A young woman called the police: I put my money in my bra and was stolen by a handsome guy on a crowded bus. The police officer asked in wonder: You didn't notice such a sensitive place? The young woman blushed and said, who would have thought he would touch the money! Revelation: It is the highest realm of business model to let customers' money be unconsciously touched away in a pleasant experience, and Apple has done it.

15. I sat on the bed and looked at the man in front of me. I'm scared. I can't do it today. This is my period. The man unbuttoned Sen Sheng's shirt, leaned down and said with a straight face: Cut the crap! Oh. Asshole! Afterwards, the man was smoking by the bed, and I lay on the pillow and said weakly, hey, tell you something, I seem to be pregnant. Male squint: Didn't you say it was a period? I'm stuck: ah. . The man cut off the cigarette butt, turned his head and said mercilessly, I won't kill you if you pretend to be a woman again!

16. First of all, the background, no background, rich and poor, capable and incompetent, at least self-motivated; If you are not self-motivated, you should at least have a sworn enemy. Sorry, you have to have a good temper. If you have a bad temper, at least have a sweet mouth. If there is nothing, you can win the lottery if you are lucky. Not even luck? Excuse me, next!

17. A friend visited an ancient temple and met a fortune teller on the way. My friend asked: Calculate for me, how long can I live! The fortune teller looked at his friend's face for a long time and said, Friend, your life is really good! friend

18. Recently, a blind old man in Britain miraculously recovered his sight after kissing a photo of his dead wife before going to bed. When he talked to himself in the photo of his dead wife Sheila, he suddenly recovered his sight. This made him very excited. He watched TV all night for fear of losing his sight again.

19. A penguin was found stealing and was surrounded by police after calling the police. The penguin picked up a yellow round shield and walked past the police aboveboard. As a result, a bunch of policemen came to catch penguins and beat them. The penguin cried innocently, Why can you see me? Why are you looking at me? Am I not fucking invisible?

20. Don't mess with me. Oh, you don't know. If you annoy me, your phone will ring as soon as I call.

2 1. Why does the earth rotate? Probably because I was slapped tens of millions of years ago and ate it!

22. Even if you were the only man in the world, I wouldn't like you. Is it just me? I'm not picky. I'm stupid. Why did I choose you?

23. Anyway, there are two kinds of people who can play with me, one is someone who can tolerate my mental illness, and the other is someone who is as mental as me.

25. When I was a child, I felt that Internet cafes were the most wasteful places. Twenty dollars will be gone in one afternoon. Now I feel that Internet cafes are the most economical places. Twenty dollars can sit for an afternoon.

26. When my grades were poor, teachers and classmates laughed at me, saying that I would definitely not be admitted to the university and would have to move bricks in the future. Not convinced, I secretly made up my mind to get up early and be greedy for the dark, study hard and make rapid progress in my grades. Finally, I was admitted to the university. I study civil engineering and move bricks after graduation. I just want to prove to them that moving bricks is destiny takes a hand's, and it has nothing to do with whether to take the college entrance examination or not!

27. Wife: Husband, what if someone calls me a beauty in the street? Husband: Then you should help him cross the street quickly. Wife: Husband, why is this? Husband: Because he is blind.

It is reported that cheating in the college entrance examination will lead to imprisonment. If a college entrance examination student is arrested for cheating, a prisoner will ask him how he got in, and the child can answer. You may not believe it, but I was admitted here.

29. A buddy likes chatting online. Once he went to see a female netizen, and I asked him what was going on. He said: I passed the written test and failed the interview. . .

30. You think finding someone who doesn't talk can make me quiet. The class teacher never imagined that I cured that buddy's autism.

3 1. I heard a lewd voice on the roadside today. Come and play, handsome. I sneer at that slut in my heart. I won't kill you today. I took out a dollar coin and rode on her, pleasant goat, beautiful goat, lazy goat, boiling goat and the wolf.

32. I remember when I was a child, I often pointed to the ugly pictures in the textbook and said to my deskmate, look, this is you. Then the deskmate rummaged through the whole book to find an uglier picture than this and said, look, this is you!

33. In summer, I thanked two people: Willis Kelly, an American, who invented air conditioning. The other is Hou Yi, a man from China, who killed a grandson.

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