Fortune teller Mengcheng _ The specific location of Mengcheng fortune telling

20 18 particularly subtle humorous jokes

Humorous jokes cater to people's orientation to a certain extent and are very popular in life. I wonder what humorous jokes you have seen that impressed you deeply? The following is an implicit and humorous joke I compiled for you. I hope you will like them.

Excerpt from a humorous joke.

1. Mary: I saw you and your husband working in the window last night, and you didn't even close the curtains! Jones: I stayed at my parents' house last night!

Xiao Wang couldn't wait to take out the guy in the phone booth and began to masturbate. When Xiao Wang was about to leave, he met a street manager. She looked at the ground and said seriously, Comrade, you spit everywhere, and you will be fined five yuan!

J hangs a pair of Spring Festival couplets in front of her house: business is booming, the bed is ringing, financial resources are abundant, and pants are loose.

The man said in a rage, I can't scold you. Your mouth is open up and down! The woman said leisurely, you are not that powerful. There is a mouth at the top and two surround speakers at the bottom! There was a plop in the street.

5. Mother and daughter visit their daughter's boyfriend's art exhibition. Mother found one of the nude portraits of her daughter and asked, you didn't paint him naked, did you? Daughter: No, he drew it from memory.

6. A father put his daughter's sexy massage stick on the wine table and drank alone. Daughter: Why are you messing with my things? Father: I'm bored drinking alone, so I invite my son-in-law to join me.

7. Late at night, children don't sleep. The man then said to the child: Your mother's stomach is fun. Try it. The child climbed up and played for a while, but he felt bored. His father said, isn't it fun? I'll try.

8. A couple wants to see how people live a married life. The woman went to peek by herself. After playing, I saw someone take off the condom, so I ran home and said to my husband, They did it too hard and peeled off a layer of skin!

9. On the wedding night, the groom was taken to the emergency room shortly after he entered the bridal chamber. Bride: He told me to eat. I wanted to grab something with my hands and eat it impolitely, so I went to the kitchen and got a knife and fork.

10. Did your wife wear it? Sexy crotch underwear? Posing sexy posture in the bedroom, trying to surprise her husband. Husband: I told you it was time to lose weight. Look, your underwear is bursting!

1 1. A man was buried under the sand and enjoyed a sand bath. Soon three beautiful women came here to change their swimsuits. The man was so excited that he suddenly heard a beautiful woman shout: Ah! Come and see, this thing is wild, too. ?

12. I met a friend in bachelor street. A friend asked him: What are you busy with recently? The bachelor said, there are no birds during the day and no birds at night. After listening to his friend's words, the bachelor explained: This is extremely painful.

13. Xiao Li: I went to the park with her that night and wanted to do it, but she insisted on wearing a condom. You said I wasn't ready. Later, when I saw one on the grass, I picked it up, turned it over and put it on. And she got pregnant, not mine.

14. Pupils like teachers, so they say: I love you! Teacher: I don't like children. Student: I'll be careful. There won't be any children.

15. There was an old maid who got lost and wanted to commit suicide. One day, she jumped off a tall building and fell into a car pulling bananas. Thinking that she was in heaven, she shouted at a car full of bananas: Don't worry, one by one.

16. A macho man came home by bus, and the kind-hearted female conductor saw that his zipper was not zipped, reminding him, Comrade, that your gun was not put away properly, so be careful not to go off. The macho man said with a smile, never mind, the bullet has just finished.

17. The prostitute explained to the police that she was not engaged in prostitution: I just sold him a one-dollar condom, and I was teaching him how to use it just now.

18. My son was about to get married, but he didn't know how to perform the ceremony of Duke Zhou, so he asked his father what to do. Father said vaguely:? You will be above, and she will be below. On a good wedding night, the bride saw that the new bed was replaced with a bunk bed and locked the door angrily to prevent the groom from coming in. The son shouted at the door. Dad! I can't get in! ? The father replied:? Push! ? The son then pushed hard, and his knee broke and bled, and he couldn't help shouting: Ah! It's bleeding! ? I only heard my father say peacefully in the room: Yes! ?

19. Two corn kernels got married. The next morning, the male corn kernels woke up and found popcorn lying beside him. He asked strangely, hello, who are you? Where is my wife? Popcorn said shyly: I don't know anyone if I shoot it open.

20. I went to work during the day and painted the wall all day. At night, I went back to the house next door and heard my sister's gasps and groans. I really can't sleep. I couldn't bear it for three days in a row, so I went to talk to the landlord about it. The landlord said there was a sister living next door. Shit, I can't sleep at all.

A particularly subtle humorous joke

1. On Women's Day, an old professor took the title? Care for women? Lecture. However, his speech was long and boring, and the women in the audience quietly left in twos and threes, and the professor didn't notice it. The assistant reminded the professor: They're all gone! ? The professor reprimanded seriously. Please respect your female friends. Even if they accidentally disappear, we can't look at them!

It is said that a lady bought a female parrot on a whim. I didn't expect to take it home. The first sentence it said was:? Do you want to sleep with me? Hearing this, the lady thought, Oh, no, outsiders thought I taught this, which didn't ruin my image as a lady. So she tried her best to give the parrot something elegant, but the mother parrot was very determined and could only say one thing: Do you want to sleep with me? What should I do? When the lady lost her mind, she heard that the priest had a parrot. Instead of swearing, the parrot was a devout believer and prayed most of the time every day. So the lady went to the priest for help. After understanding her purpose, the priest looked a little embarrassed and said, well, it's difficult. In fact, the parrot didn't deliberately teach it anything. The reason why I am so pious may be because I have been edified here for a long time. ? When the priest saw that the lady was sad, he said, Tell you what, you bring that parrot to me, and I'll put them together. I hope your parrot will be affected after a period of time. That's all I can do. Whether it works or not depends on providence. Madam, that's all I can do. Isn't there a saying: near Zhu Zhechi? Just try it. So she took the parrot to see the priest. The priest put two parrots together as promised. At first, the female parrot was a little stiff. Seeing the male parrot in the corner of the cage and praying silently, I really can't bear to bother. But she still couldn't help herself, and finally said in a clear voice? Want to sleep with me? Hearing this, the male parrot stopped praying, turned to look at the female parrot and burst into tears. Thank god, my wish that I prayed for so many years has finally come true?

I was completely knocked down by two loud thunder in the car. Woman: Who the fuck are you touching? Who the fuck is touching you? The woman said something very lethal, and everyone in the car suppressed internal injuries: you should be shameless! Touch me when I'm like this! I really want to laugh, dare not!

Instead of studying hard and being sleepy in class, it is better to stay in bed and live happily. Life is worse than death. ?

One winter was particularly cold, and one weekend my wife and I went to the park to play. Seeing many people skating on the ice on the lake, I invited my wife to skate with me, but she didn't dare. In order to prove the firmness of the ice, I set an example and ran to the ice for a while, which made my wife itch. Finally, I had the idea of trying. I carried her from the center of the lake to the shore. When there was still about one meter offshore, I jumped up to prove that there was no danger. I only listened? Hey? I fell into the ice hole with a bang. Fortunately, the water on the shore is shallow, and it only reaches my waist. My wife screamed with fear and almost cried. I struggled to climb out of the mire and made sure that I was all right. My wife asked me seriously: Is my little brother not frozen? I held back the cold and nodded hard. Not bad, the little thing belongs to the polar bear! ? Psst ~ I feel cold when I think about it now!

6. Every time I have sex with my husband, the time is very short. Afterwards, my husband confidently said: it's not that I'm fast, but that you will feel short of time if you enjoy it too much. This is Einstein's theory of relativity. Me: Get out!

7. Woman: Do you miss me? M: Yes, why not? Woman: All the time? M: Is it straight?

8. The wife at home is too fierce! I want a divorce every day! Today, I took her to the Civil Affairs Bureau and met my ex-girlfriend. Just when she was embarrassed and humiliated, her wife suddenly slammed and changed her way and cried, Please! Don't leave me! I don't want any money for the 5 million in the middle! I do all the housework! You can have as many mistresses as you want!

9. A landlord found a wife for his teenage children. Because the groom is too young to understand, everything is done by his father. This embarrassed the daughter-in-law, so she cried for her mother-in-law, who said bitterly after listening. Damn it, he's like his father, right?

10. Female:? I officially warn you that my husband will be back in an hour. ? Man:? But I didn't do anything rude ? Woman:? I know. If you want to do something, there is less than an hour left.

1 1. I heard a Xiong Haizi shouting outside when I went to the toilet. Mom! Mom! Did you poop or pee your pants? Too slow! ? Who knows that this mother Xiong Haizi came to a sentence: Stop yelling! Your aunt is here! ?

The young couple quarreled. Boys are unhappy, and girls say to unhappy boys:? Don't be angry. Aren't you happy about these little things? Smile! ? The boy didn't speak, but the girl thought about it and said, can I cheer you up with one hand? The boy shook his head, and the girl said, Well, shall I make you happy with my hands? The boy thought about it, but shook his head. The girl thought for a moment and said seriously, then I will do something to make you happy with my two hands and my tongue, ok? This time, the boy nodded excitedly and said happily, OK! All right! All right! ? So the girl stood up straight, put her cheeks in her hands, stretched out her tongue and made a face at the boy.

13. Today, the WeChat group said that there would be a party, and they signed up excitedly. The rule remains the same: men and women are free. I went late, and everyone else had already started eating. When I entered the box, applause rang out around me. Then a sweet soprano shouted:? Finally, a man came. ? I used my quick wits at that time. "Sorry, I'm in the wrong room!"

14. My wife gave me 20 yuan pocket money last week! I have no money to buy a decent pack of cigarettes at a friend's party today. At this time, the son and wife said: Mom has to pay 50 yuan for tuition today. The daughter-in-law gave the money to her son without saying anything. After my wife went out, my son gave me the money and said, "I lent it to you." You have to help me when I get married. Look at my son's back and watch my dear son sigh. "

15. The day before the wedding, the father said to his daughter who was about to get married: Daughter! Marriage is sacred. Never ignore the inner beauty of the other person because of his beautiful appearance! ? The daughter said shyly, Dad, don't worry. I've seen his guts several times.

16. Have you ever seen killing ducks? Ducks can't look straight when their throats are cut and they bleed. It's cruel. When I was young, my father used to kill ducks. I asked my father if he could let me go, but he told me to get out! I scolded my father and then ran home sadly. At dinner, I asked my father where the ducks were. He said he wouldn't kill me to take care of my feelings. This is the most unforgettable vegetarian dinner. The next day, I sharpened my knife and walked to the duck pen, but my family couldn't stop me!

17.？ What happened to your face? I was slapped by my wife. Then why does your face turn red here? It's almost the Spring Festival, and she said she was lucky, so she brought a pair of rings! ?

18.MM Walking around the mall, I saw the waiter selling a new doll. Just shout:? Hmm! ? It can move its left leg. Shout: Ah! ? It will move its right leg. MM thought it was fun, so she bought one. The puppet ran away from home that night!

19. In the middle of the night, when the owner was sleeping, the organ held a short meeting under the auspices of the brain. Heart first said: I asked to retire, my master lacked exercise, and my brain was full of fat, which made me suffer from high blood pressure and myocardial infarction? Before the words were finished, my stomach scrambled to talk: I also want to retire. My host eats and drinks at public funds every day. Pangolin, foreign wine and national wine, let me endure for a long time. Has it reached the advanced stage of gastric cancer? Then a faint voice came from below: I also asked to retire? The brain asks loudly:? who is it? Please stand up and speak loudly! If I can still stand up, then I don't have to retire. ? A weaker answer

20. The fortune teller said to the young lady, You have a bad omen! Hearing this, the young lady said anxiously, shall I take off my bra? The fortune teller replied: no, as long as you take off the bad omen, there will be two big waves in life!

A collection of implicit humorous jokes

1. Who is the most pitiful person in the world? A: Artillery company cookhouse squad soldiers! Q: Why? A: Take the blame for wearing a green hat and watch others have sex.

2. A man went to see a doctor and told him that I had a slight illness there all my life. It hurts a little. The doctor said, take off your pants and I'll examine you. The man said, doctor, I'm shy. My place is small. The doctor said, don't be shy, I'm not laughing at you. The man took off his pants, and the doctor looked at it and said, well, it's very small, as big as a peanut. What's wrong with it? The man blushed and said, it. Swollen

The father took his son to take a bath, and the ground was slippery. When the son was about to slip, he grabbed his father's genitals and didn't fall. Father scolded, it's fucking good for you to come with me. If you come with your mother, you're dead!

4. The man can't go home for a long time, and his wife is very uncomfortable. One day, before he asked his wife to take down the mirror, she was glad to do so. He separated his wife's legs, put his chin on her vagina and asked her, do I look good with a beard?

On the first day in office, the county magistrate went to visit the poor and ask for help. He saw a poor old man and gave him 100 yuan. The old man thanked him again and again. The county magistrate said: you're welcome, I am the son of the people and your son! The beautiful daughter-in-law of the old man smiled beside her: bear, you want to be beautiful!

6. The host asked: Can cats climb trees? The eagle replied first: Yes! Compere: Give an example! The eagle burst into tears: that year, I fell asleep, the cat climbed the tree, and then there was an owl?

7. The condom said to the sanitary napkin: Sister, don't go to work. As soon as you go to work, I will have no business for seven days! The sanitary napkin said to the condom: Brother, are you satisfied? If you fucking leak it, I'll lose my job for ten months!

8. A pervert made a very indecent gesture to a beautiful woman in our class at the dinner table-the gesture of middle finger. The girl didn't change her face, so she said calmly: short and thin!

9. A French explorer lost his way in the desert and was dying; Suddenly I saw a fairy coming slowly. The explorer shouted at once, "Fairy, help me!" ! I haven't drunk water for three days! "The fairy thought for a moment. He frowned, then stepped back and quickly served the explorer a cup of cranberries. After drinking, the explorer said, "I want another drink." The fairy sighed and said, "No, not until next month. "

10. Ni Ping had a bullwhip when he visited Mengcheng. It was delicious. What is that? Feng Gong said, there are cows! The cow said, Feng Gong also has it! Ni Ping asked: Do I have it on me? Both of them replied: sometimes, sometimes not.