Funny homophonic joke

An interesting homophonic joke:

Dou is the emperor? weak and incompetent

A Dou's Jiangshan? Free of charge

A fighting figure? Have no ability

Ah Er blowing sheng? Pretend to be a member of the ensemble ― just make up the numbers.

Is Al a doctor? No one dares to invite

Ah Erman Street? casual

Brother eats noodles? There is no clear plan or system for work.

Grandpa eats Rhizoma coptidis? Cool (Ye)

Arabic numerals are divided into eight characters? Zero to zero

Grandma has a beard? abnormal

Aqingsao pours tea? Drip-tight; Not a drop leaks.

Is the whip stick or not? When you try to argue and protect your rights, you can be asked for forgiveness, but refuse to give in.

A beaten dog bites a chicken? Take it out on others

The tortoise was beaten? hunch one's shoulders (against)

Row ducks with a knife? Run in a panic

Make amends for being slapped? curry favour with

A dog with a stick? Be enraged

A defeated duck? Run in a panic

Fat pig with knife? Not afraid of boiling water

A ball with a knife? It's flat

Frosted green bristlegrass Withered (year)

Eat sea pepper (pepper) by the stove? Internal and external heat

A short staircase leading to a high-rise room? Unable to match words (eaves)

Short people wear high heels? Gaoye co., ltd

Dwarfs fight wolves? I just can't shout it out.

Shorty flies a kite? Higher and higher; Steady rise

Shorty fart? Speak in a low voice.

Shorty sightseeing? Be consistent with others

Shorty crossing the river? Inner peace

Draw generals from dwarves? Will be material; Choose a better one on the whole.

Shorty climbs stairs? Eager (eager)

Dwarfs climb mountains? Step by step; May you be promoted step by step!

Dwarfs climb mountains? Eager to buy cheap things

The dwarf rides a big horse? Up and down dilemma; Up-down dilemma

Shorty push? Not bossy

Shorty wants to ascend to heaven? I don't know little land; Golden Millet Dream―sheer daydream

Shorty sitting on Gordon? Up-down dilemma

Short people sit on high stools? cannot reach

Short people sit on high stools? Up and down out of reach; Up-down dilemma

Love to sue and be a hero? Poor and quarrelsome

An Shi rebellion? Inverted.

Everyone knocks on Antang's wooden fish.

A nun in a temple? No happiness (husband)

Quails eat fruit from trees? Think of good things; Want to be beautiful

Frogs on the shore? Jump at the touch

Fishing for the moon on shore? At your own expense; be invalid

Watching people drown on the shore? Don't try your best to save people whose lives are threatened

Buy shoes according to other people's sizes? Mechanical replication

A beggar who plays with colored balls? be as happy as a lark

Drink water according to the cow's head? impracticable

Take medicine according to the prescription? Nuclear office

Peck rice according to the head of a chicken? A futile plan

Take medicine according to the old prescription? the same old story

Drink water according to the cow's head? Can't do it; Try to do

Press the gourd and lift the gourd? Forget one end and lose the other.

Drill into the fire pit by pressing your head? Calm one's anger or troubles.

What can't fly under the chopping block?

Flying a kite under the chopping board? Not fly

Top door of chopping board? Tube width

A rolling pin on the chopping board? Bachelor's alley

Meat on the chopping block? Slaughtered; Kill at will

Fish on the chopping board? Knife-wounded goods

Cutting bones on the chopping board? Okay, clean, clean.

Tracking? furtively

Needle in the darkroom? difficult

Secret trip? Year is bad.

Have you run out of lamp oil? Heartburn (core)

Burning ice on hazelnuts? Melt the soup.

Pancakes on hazelnuts? toss and turn restlessly

Eight sparrow sedan chair-can't afford it

Eight yuan for fortune telling? How can I protect you forever?

Eight tigers break into seclusion? Dead, dead, lost, lost

Radish in Balizhuang-? Beauty of the heart

Eight acres of valley. -Just this one.

Eight horses can't drive? have deep affection for

Eight thousand years old with a beard? Personalize this great idea.

Does an 80-year-old learn to blow? breather

An 80-year-old man plays the trumpet? faint

Playing the trumpet at the age of 80? Long life, short breath.

An 80-year-old grandmother? medieval

Dancing at 80? Ancient innocence

Eight immortals crossing the sea without a boat? Own regulations (cross)

Eight immortals crossing the sea? each shows his own prowess/skill

Eight immortals crossing the sea? Wind that can be popular, rain that can rain.

A foot is missing from the square table? uneven

Chamber pot is on the table of the Eight Immortals-not a (family) gang.

Laojiu is on the table of the Eight Immortals-can't get the number.

Put a lamp on the table of the Eight Immortals-obviously.

An eighty-year-old grandmother is a three-year-old grandson? Old and old, small and small.

Persimmons in August? The older you get, the redder you get

What is the weather like in August? Sometimes it will be sunny, sometimes it will rain.

Cucumber shed in August-an empty shelf

Eat moon cakes on August 15th? right season or time

Look at the dragon lantern on August 15th-it's half a year late.

Fifteen kinds of peanuts in August? Blind guidance

Catch rabbits on August 15th-you have a holiday, but you don't.

Write an apostrophe for eight words-one less.

Was bitten by a mosquito in the face? be eager to do sth

A slap in the air-in vain.

Blindfolded? In fact, it can't cover the sky.

Slap bricks? master

Pull the dog to squat on the wall? Pretend to be a tiger

Pull the dog and lift the curtain-one mouth at a time.

Bulldogs bite the moon? I wonder how high the sky is.

A skinned toad-it's annoying to live and scary to die.

Banana fruit-a heart

Look in the mirror-ask for ugliness

Tug of war-pulling at both ends

Every bamboo shoot at jointing stage-rising every day

Pulling radish pits is-well-founded.

Pulling radish has eyes-it's not for nothing.

Pull up radishes and plant onions-every crop is hotter.

Pigeons that have been plucked can't fly.

Pigeons with hair plucked-see how you fly

The plucked lion-makes you laugh.

Stick the sickle in your throat-you can't swallow it or spit it out.

Put the horn on the donkey's head.-four unlike.

Put your hand in a grinding eye-ask for it.

Use it as a pillow-forget it.

Think of pearls as mud balls-you really don't know the goods.

Practice aiming at the shooting range-turn a blind eye

It's the overlord's treat-you have to eat if you eat, or you have to eat if you don't eat.

Clear water in a white glass bottle-I see through it.

White cloth has gone into the dye vat-it won't wash clean.

Boiled tofu with cabbage-nobody touches anyone's light.

Cabbage is getting older and older.

Stir-fried Chinese onion with cabbage leaves-pro (green) plus pro (green)

Boiled tofu with cabbage-one clear and two white (cabbage, white tofu)

Idiot gourd-fool

Sing in a strange voice for nothing.

Sing in a strange voice for nothing.

White food-don't touch it.

Giving food to Tang Priest for nothing-hypocrisy.

White met the Monkey King-he showed his true colors.

Bai Yi speaks-he doesn't talk to people.

I lied to the Tang Priest for nothing-one plan failed and another was born.

White look in the mirror-not a person inside and outside.

White hunts the bride among the goblins-the goblins.

Buy eye drops at ash shop-wrong door.

White radish bayonet-something that doesn't bleed

Bai Niangniang resisted the law-listless.

Set up an archway to sell jujube-the business is not big, and the shelf is not small.

Set up a stage to sell tofu-it's no big deal.

Set up a stage to sell crabs-not many things, big posture.

Missed the target-missed the heart

Hit the bull's-eye-impartial

Defeat quail and chicken-can't go into battle.

Half the drums-beat about the bush

The mowers worship stone statues-bullying the weak and fearing the hard.

Woodman Down the Mountain-Worry (Wage)

Shot bullets, shot arrows-never look back

Typed confession-untrue

About funny homophonic jokes 2:

1. One day I went to a restaurant to eat jiaozi with a foreign friend.

The beautiful service lady came to ask, friends always miss any opportunity to practice Chinese, rushing to talk and sleep? how much is it?

The young lady was very embarrassed, so she was very angry. I quickly explained that he was asking jiaozi how much.

Jiaozi served it, and I asked him if he wanted mustard.

He invited another young lady, didn't he? Program? Huh?

Miss said brightly,? Yes, what kind of program do you want?

? That's the yellow one ?

2. The new magistrate is from Shandong. Because he wanted to hang up, he said to the master, "buy me two bamboo poles."

Inquired that the "bamboo pole" in Shandong dialect was "pig liver", and quickly agreed, ran to the butcher's shop and said, "Master Xinxian wants to buy two pieces of pig liver. You are a clever man.

You should know it! "

The shopkeeper, a clever man, immediately cut off two pieces of pig liver and presented a pair of pig ears.

After leaving the butcher's shop, the owner thought, "The owner told me to buy pork liver. Of course this pig ear is mine? " So he wrapped the pig's ears and stuffed them into his pocket. Go back to the county government and report to the magistrate: "Report back to Grandpa, I bought pig liver!" "

The magistrate was very angry when he saw that the master had bought pig liver, and said, "Where are your ears!" " Hearing this, the master turned pale with fear and quickly replied, "Ears? Ears? Here? On me? It's in my pocket! "

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