Humorous jokes and fortune-telling stories

A young man came all the way to the Jianbao Fair and took out the porcelain. Several experts carefully identified it and told the young man that it was Song porcelain. The young man is very happy. He quickly took out his mobile phone and said that I would call grandpa. The camera quickly took it. I saw the young man happily say: Grandpa, experts say that the porcelain you burned is from the Song Dynasty! The camera is live! Once before the wine table, the guest said to the waiter: tea! The waiter counted the guests one by one, and the guests said, pour the tea! The waiter repeated the number of guests at the other end. The guest said, what are you? I am a pig. One day, the doctor on duty in a mental hospital made rounds and suddenly met a strong patient. He was ill. Seeing him rushing towards him with a kitchen knife, the doctor turned and fled, and the patient chased after him. Finally, the doctor was forced to the end of the corridor, and there was nowhere to escape. The doctor thought it was over and disaster came. I saw the patient run to him, handed him a kitchen knife and said, "Now it's your turn to chase me." One day, I saw a buddy with a big belly. I was surprised and asked him what was going on. The buddy said, Oh, I just ate a watermelon, and now I'm so full! I'm lost again. Can eating a watermelon like this last? How big is that watermelon! I asked again: How big is the watermelon you ate? ! That buddy: Let me think! It's about the size of a watermelon ... Father and son taught the calf to plow, father led the calf in front and son plowed behind. Everything was ready, and the son shouted, "Dad, go!" " "So my father led the calf forward to the farm. The son shouted, "Dad, turn around!" " "So after several times of practice, I am more skilled. Father is no longer in front of the cow. If a son makes a cow, the cow just won't go. Then he remembered, and then he had to shout, "Dad, go!" " "Niu Gang go; When he arrives at Tiantou, he must shout, "Dad, turn around!" " The cow just turned around. Someone was stopped by the traffic police when driving on the road, and it was detected as drunk driving.

The man said to the traffic police: I didn't drink, just a little beer.

The traffic police said: beer is not wine.

The man asked: Is that soy sauce oil? Three people brag:

A: "I gave it to a friend. Diving is very powerful. I can dive 10 minutes! "

B: "that's nothing. I've given my friends an hour to sneak in!" " "

C: "Hey, I'm only good at giving it to relatives. I went into the water last year and haven't come up this year! "

The embarrassment of going to the toilet: there is no paper when you pull it; Again, there is no water; Once again, there is water not rushing down; Once again, it's over. Some water washed down, but it floated up again. ....

Theory of Three Represents theory

An American, a Frenchman and a Beijinger.

Three people were trapped in the desert together.

Walking in the desert, three people found a bottle at the same time.

So everyone rushed to run over. A man unscrewed the bottle cap and a god appeared in an instant. He said to him, "You three saved me, to thank you. I can satisfy your three wishes. "

The American grabbed his head and said, "I am the boss. Let me say first, I want100000 dollars. " He got the money immediately. So he said happily, "Then give me another million!" " God realized his second wish. Say to him, "Now you can say your third wish." Send me back to America! "Stop! The Americans are gone!

Furthermore, the French said, "Dear God, please give me a beautiful woman!" While speaking, beautiful women fell from the sky. He quickly said, "Then please reward me with another beauty!" " "The French side suddenly two more beautiful women. He said his third wish: "God! Please send us back to France. "When, it's all over.

Only Peking man was left. He said to God, "I just want a bottle of Erguotou." Just then, a bottle of Erguotou appeared in his hand. He picked it up and drank it with a thud, feeling particularly cool. He said to God, "Then have another bottle!" He continued to drink after he got it, and he was a little dizzy. God said, "I can still satisfy your last wish." Go! " ""I don't think it's interesting for me to drink alone. Call those two back! "

So Americans and French returned to the desert.