Learn both inside and outside and start another life.

Sister Xue's story will be published soon.

1 3 noon today

She, with a smart and sensible daughter, bought a house in Luohu, Shenzhen from scratch.

It seems that the family business has a good harvest.

What did you go through? Let her go. ...

Despair to a gloomy world, can not see the light!

What makes her give up her life now and dare to face her true self?

What story happened in the middle, which made her stand on this growing stage?

At noon today 13:00, let's listen to the story of "sad growth" told by senior Grace-Liu.

Login password: both inside and outside, open another life.

Learn both inside and outside and start another life.

Good afternoon, friends!

I am a post-80s baby mother, currently living in Shenzhen. Because of the late marriage, the baby is only over 2 years old now.

I grew up in the countryside of Nanyang, Henan. At that time, resources were scarce and parents' consciousness was not high. I basically grew up within the scope of freedom. When I was a child, I could remember my father running a factory. At that time, the bank refused to lend. My father started his business by usury and ended in failure. He owes a lot of debts and often stays at home, leaving our sick mother at home to bring us up.

Mother is overbearing and narrow-minded. She always shows a cheerful and generous image in front of outsiders, but at the expense of "cheating" the children.

Because I'm the boss of the family. Some parents prefer boys to girls, which instilled a lot of masculinity in my growth. So on the one hand, I am extremely shy, on the other hand, I like to participate in decision-making because of various decisions and contradictions at home.

I was more idealistic when I was a child. At first, I was particularly disdainful of my mother's small-scale peasant consciousness, but I still had a worship complex for my father. However, a conversation I overheard made me give up my blind worship of my father. At that time, the idea of becoming an entrepreneur in the future sprouted. At least you can't be a peddler like dad.

Later, because my father was heavily in debt, I was forced to leave school early. That time was the first darkest moment in my life. There is a feeling of getting off the sofa.

Parents' ideas are particularly traditional and have no sense of "boundaries". My mother's situation was obvious at first, and she had already taken a fancy to me. Constantly instill some ideas into me: how much bride price someone else's daughter gave a real estate tycoon in her teens, and how much money someone else's daughter gave her parents.

Even, I don't know where this attribute comes from: the fortune teller said that your horoscope is not good, and it is not appropriate to talk about marriage before the age of 26, otherwise you will divorce three times. God, I thought it was a calculation, really. This sentence, the harm to me is not generally great.

However, the worse is yet to come.

23-year-old, when we first talked about boyfriends, we were going to open a clothing store in Zhuhai, and my mother wanted to use the money to open a telephone booth in Shenzhen. Speaking of distribution or salary, my mother said, wait until we have arranged it. We have suffered all our lives, and you are still young. I asked about the deadline, but my mother turned to lie in bed and cried. Here's a sentence I still remember: I became a baiwenhang when I was raised, and my elbow turned outward, so I won't help you settle accounts in the future.

3 1 year old, single again. Mom instantly sneered: Say your horoscope is not good, don't get married so early, don't believe it. The fortune-teller said that you can't talk about marriage until you are 26 years old, otherwise you will divorce three times in your life. Dad is still adding fuel to the fire: you think people are rich, and even dad doesn't want to run away with them. You are a joke.

There are too many such things. In fact, my father loved me more, and he broke his word. I want to cry and hold back, but my body is shaking ... There are many, many worse things than this.

They seem to regard me as the "stupidest tool"? Don't say a word about my dropping out of school early and giving all my efforts. Everything I want to learn is in the way, staring at your movements all the time. It's a little troublesome. Apart from cynicism, it is to call on all relatives and friends to kidnap morally. Always remember your anecdotes, and spread them many times and publicize them everywhere. To prove that you owe them. ...

So I have been living in pain and entanglement, unable to extricate myself. Because I have always been a traditional and cowardly person, taking the family atmosphere as everything.

I devoted all my efforts, and my parents not only didn't have a good word, but also hated the east and the west. Until one day my mother died and my father found someone, all the entanglements seemed to come to an abrupt end? But my inner struggle is still there. I didn't let it out, but it was even more painful. That kind of feeling is like throwing caution to the wind and shooting an arrow one day, but being turned back by the way of "it turns out that you are really useless" and hitting my heart directly.

Speaking of my marriage, it's even worse.

Before you know it, you will be over 30. Catch up with my mother's advanced breast cancer, about 5 years before and after, and my brother is gambling. In this environment, I am not in any mood to find someone. Besides, their expectations of my future partner are too high. Once, my father wanted me to take over all the burdens of my brother. He also said that my brother would kneel in front of me to admit his mistake and never gamble again. Of course, I can't bear this heavy life, and I don't want to "take over". In fact, their income is several times that of mine.

I don't know why, my father always wants me to bear all the burdens, because I am not strong. Maybe you think I'm stupid? Even my father has been taking over his son's two and a half children on the grounds that I am not suitable for marriage. So. I'll have a place to live when I get old.

I may have experienced a serious illness, and my mother has been thinking about me. She always said that she had savings at home and didn't need anything for the time being. Let me relax and find someone to solve my personal problems first. After listening to my mother's words, I decided to throw caution to the wind, secretly thinking about fulfilling all my mother's long-cherished wishes. I made a rough calculation of the bill and everyone paid the bill. Isn't it a matter of millions? I will earn it! !

At that time, I was engaged in real estate, and my performance was not so good, but I kept thinking about how to "make big money". So, through the snowball of contacts, I entered the land acquisition section of Lv Jing Group, thinking that as long as a project landed, the business expenses alone would be enough for my turnover.

At the same time, through reading books and watching people, it analyzes the industry trends and industrial chains of society. Of course, I also paid a lot of tuition fees during the period. In the end, I mistakenly seized a great opportunity. At that time, I just wanted to make a lot of money, settle them down, and then get free air and wander alone.

But mom said, isn't the person you work with unmarried? Let's settle the marriage. At that time, I was very happy. However, due to the suspension of the company's rectification business, my mother died before everything was really fulfilled. At the same time, dad felt that the business was ruined, so he took the opportunity to sneer at me and found someone himself.

It's not just cynicism. Something happened during this period, which almost changed my mind. Perhaps, I will never be so warm-hearted again. Because I turned over for the success of this career, the situation of the target family is actually very bad. When the business was suspended, it happened to be when my mother died. At that time, my relationship with him was very general, but I was taken back and sent my mother to the end. At that time, seeing his "shabby" appearance, my father, brother and sister gave me a lot of faces. My heart fell to the lowest point in my life for the first time, and I had my own plan. Especially my sister's words are vivid: I always feel wronged, because of my parents, I don't get along well …

Let's just say that before I refused to admit my cowardice, I was desperate to get business and find someone. After that, I don't want anything to do with them. I won't mention it again, because I want to make millions, because I have fulfilled someone's long-cherished wish. I just want to say from the bottom of my heart: please don't "hit people when they are down" so early. It's not as simple as you think, but it's not that complicated. At this moment, my heart is very painful, and it is also this moment that I was driven to the second pulse of Ren Du.

I didn't have many ideas at that time. I can only gnash my teeth and swallow it in my stomach. No one can imagine my feelings at that time. At the age of 35, I feel that I have no savings, no education or even a home, and I have been reported with such high expectations. At this point, I have no choice but to move forward. Maybe it's a gamble? Because at that moment, I recognized my mother's mission in my heart.

Fortunately, God didn't let me down. It was because of the internal reorganization of the company that I became the distributor manager of that company by mistake. By the way, I invested a small amount of business expenses before, deducting the down payment of a suite in Shenzhen and a ten-year long-term contract.

But my husband's family not only has a particularly poor living environment, but also has low life skills, which is very Mu Na. For a long time, I didn't know how to turn it on or use gas. There was only a father-in-law in his 70s, and his mother died when he was pregnant. When my father saw that my business was suspended, he immediately drew a line with me and found someone. Dad's behavior made me tremble with anger for more than a year. )

To be honest, it was a mistake. A little business expenses to buy shares. If it is cash, I think I will give my father every penny. Some kind of bride price or something?

During pregnancy, I was the only one. I have a particularly strong reaction, the kind that will vomit without dripping water, which lasted for nearly two months, leaving only skin and bones. Completely rely on going to the hospital to deliver water to maintain life.

At that time, it was in Luohu, Shenzhen, and I was restricted to take-out. I regained my appetite in the back. Do it for yourself. It was not until the child 1 year old that his 70-year-old father-in-law was taken to Shenzhen. When I went back to pick him up, it happened to be an epidemic. During that time, it was simply darkness. My father-in-law's living habits are even worse. He is still male chauvinist and particularly stubborn. It's the kind of garbage that falls on the ground and thinks it's a woman's business. I'm a little feminine. I want to do everything except myself. I have to get along with two inappropriate people.

Because I have been growing up in a poor environment, the cultural level of other members of my family is the same. The burden of family culture construction naturally falls on my shoulders. I don't want to bring all these bad factors to my baby, so I have been studying some parenting classes and reading many books on parenting. For example, the reassuring "Coming from afar" and Yi Jianlian's "A good mother is better than a good teacher" have also studied the styles of several training institutions. Articles on parent-child and family education in the official WeChat account are also often concerned. It was on Yi Jianli's official WeChat account that I saw the notice of "Anxious Mom Training Camp", browsed the content, searched some information about Huang Zhimeng, and signed up with the mentality of giving it a try.

In fact, I don't reject learning. Why should I work hard? Because the baby is only over 2 years old, I don't think I have reached the level of anxiety, and I was studying writing, body building, pronunciation and other courses at that time, and time was tight.

After the opening of the camp, I was really happy and sad to see the information bombing of early sharing, late sharing, early reading and late eating in the group. I was chatting with the class in the group: this knowledge is too much, and I hate it. I am a diligent little bee, but I have to keep up with the rhythm quickly.

However, I have obsessive-compulsive disorder and refuse to fall behind in every knowledge point.

Halfway through the training camp, the class shared the "Spring Blossoms" public welfare video class. I clicked on the video and saw a primary school student being violently communicated by his father and classmates, which led to depression and swallowing nails. I feel very uncomfortable after reading it. I don't think it's selling anxiety Maybe it has something to do with my growing environment. I prefer this one. )

Later, after listening to the "small stove class" given by the battalion commander Huang Zhimeng, I gave up the idea again. Mr. Huang specifically mentioned the double-drop policy. Through Mr. Huang's analysis, I felt the overall view and systematicness. Later, I watched the public welfare video sharing of Vision Education, which gave people the impression that the whole team was young and full of vitality.

At that time, because I signed up for many classes, I didn't have much balance, but it was a peacock+tiger type. Now that I have decided, I don't want to set obstacles for myself. I did not hesitate to temporarily misappropriate the "micro-loan" and signed up, but I paid it back in about 20 days. At the end of the training camp, I also wrote a summary article "The soul is interesting and the future can be expected".

Now I am following the pace of the course to learn the course of self-confidence. I look forward to seeing you in the course. Well, my sharing is over. Finally, I attach my article "Interesting Soul, Expectable Future" and an article "Special Love, For Special You" to practice in the self-confidence course.

So far, my goal is not only to complete the family studies course. I have a new direction, that is, to apply for family education tutor.

At the same time, I also wrote a poem for my father and my baby respectively. This is an emotional end and a reconciliation between me and the world. After recalling my story in one breath, I suddenly felt much more relaxed. It's like I'm not talking about myself or my old life.

Finally, send you a song "Wake Up":

If love can't wake you up,

Then life will wake you up with pain.

If pain can't wake you up,

Then life will wake you up with more pain.

If greater pain can't wake you up,

Then life will wake you up with disappointment.

If loss doesn't sober you up,

Then life will wake you up with greater losses,

Including life itself.

Life will use the way of life,

In infinite time and space,

Wake you up endlessly.

Living with the experience of life,

In the endless cycle of life and death,

Wake you up endlessly,

-Until you wake up.

Finally, tell everyone that the quality of happiness wings is there. If you study, we can be classmates in the future. If you don't study, I can be your psychological counselor in the future.

Believe it or not,

The wings of happiness are everywhere,

Fairness;

Whether you report it or not,

I'll wait for you here,

Neither humble nor supercilious;

Maybe our changes today will make us meet better ourselves in two years, and we look forward to meeting you in two years. I hope that we can start together from a new angle, with new thinking, with a little effort, with a little learning and action, and then support our children's long life.

Thank you for listening, and today's sharing is here. I have a new dream now, and I'm going to take an exam as a tutor of family education and training on a family learning platform. Because of the lack of family education, the pain is too heavy for me. I want to help more children who lack family warmth like me.