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Homophonic humor joke 20 words

Jokes are short in length, simple and ingenious in story, often unexpected, giving people a wonderful feeling of being suddenly enlightened. Most of them reveal absurd phenomena in life, which are ironic and entertaining. There are different tastes. Next, I'll sort out 20 words of humorous jokes for your reference only, hoping to help you!

Homophonic humor jokes 1 stealing fruit

The farmer visited the orchard and found a little boy climbing the apple tree. Wait and see, problem children, I'll tell your father!

The boy raised his head and shouted at the top, "Dad, someone below wants to talk to you."

branch

A man is standing on a street corner, with a hat in each hand, waiting for someone to give him. A pedestrian stopped, threw a coin into one hat and asked, What's the other hat for?

Business has been expanding recently. The man replied, I decided to open a branch office.

Children joke

I'm tired from work today, and I don't want to cook dinner. ...

The girl looked at me seriously: "This is just like my homework. I have to write early and write late. Do it sooner or later, and you can't run away. Just do it quickly! Hey! "

Say that finish also solemnly patted me on the shoulder.

Alas! I can't refute it.

Careless professor

Professor Foldin is always careless. His wife asked him to throw a bag of garbage into the dustbin outside the building, but he got on the subway in a daze, went to the laboratory and finally went home with the garbage.

The wife was surprised: "What do you have?" Foldin said, "Oh, I forgot to throw out the garbage."

The wife took it and looked even more surprised: "Where did you get a pack of ham?"

The words on the back

"Director, is the writing on my back wrong?"

"No, there is nothing wrong. According to the History of Song Dynasty, the words tattooed on Yue Fei's body are not' loyal to the country' but' loyal to the country'. "

"No matter which one, in short, it's not the' loyal service to the country' I tattooed on my back now, is it? ! "

get a ride

On the bus, a naval officer stood beside the driver and didn't sit down to avoid damaging his neatly ironed uniform. A drunken man got on the bus, walked up to the police officer, pulled his sleeve and said he wanted to buy a ticket. The officer ignored him. But the drunk insisted, so the officer turned and said, "Friend, I'm not a conductor, I'm a naval officer."

"Then," replied the drunk, "stop the boat. I want to take a bus. "

Cleverness in small things

Tom came to ask Jim for the bill, and Jim hid at home and didn't dare to show up. He saw Jim's shoes by the door and knew that people must be at home, so he knocked on the door.

But there was no movement in the room, so he said loudly, "Jim, I know you are hiding at home, and your shoes are still by the door?"

A voice inside said, "No, I can go out barefoot."

Homophonic humor joke 2 1, what's the difference between men and women? Less than the last one, more than the next one.

2, mineral water fell in love with convenience

Mineral water fell in love with instant noodles, summoned up the courage to confess to her, but was ruthlessly rejected.

Mineral water asked, "Why?"

Instant noodles disdain to say, "cut, just you? I am not hot at all, and I still want to soak me! "

Xiao Ming's family has a little hen, which lays eggs in a fixed place every day.

Later, it married a rooster.

From then on, the place where the little hen laid her eggs was no longer fixed. Being here today and being there tomorrow is completely irregular.

Xiao Ming was in a hurry, so he went to ask the little hen why.

The little hen said, marry a chicken and follow it.

4, men help funny wedding table

The lines of men's funny wedding photos: At the beginning of the new year, everything is revived, with beautiful spring scenery and flowers. In Gao Peng, a golden moment of crowing and full moon, an earth-shattering and shocking love story happened somewhere a year ago. Mr Luo Shuquan is handsome, brilliant, outstanding and bohemian. They fell in love at first sight. As soon as they met, they kept meeting. After sowing in spring, romance in summer, brewing in autumn and testing in winter, two hearts can no longer restrain the pain of meeting and hating each other in the storm of lovesickness. They decided to join hands, heart to heart, husband and wife, and naturally tied the knot. Now I declare the wedding officially started.

A boss bought a new car, but he was very uneasy about the driver he hired. He is worried that the driver will replace the parts of the new car with the old one to make a profit. He can't drive himself, so he has to ask the driver every move.

Once he went out by car, the car slowed down and got up soon.

"What's the matter?" The boss asked the driver.

"Nothing, sir, I just changed gears."

The boss turned to a friend beside him and whispered, "Look, you didn't even talk to me. You changed all the gears. I must give him up. "

6. An old couple went to Burger King for dinner. They carefully divided hamburgers and French fries into two parts. A truck driver felt sorry for this and offered to buy a meal for the old lady.

The old man said, "Never mind, we share everything."

A few minutes later, the driver saw that the old lady didn't eat a bite and said, "I really want to buy a meal for the old lady."

The old man assured him, "She will eat and we will share everything."

The driver didn't believe it and said to the old lady earnestly,' Why don't you eat? "

The old lady was angry and said, "I'm waiting for his false teeth!" " "

The vet wrote a prescription for our old cat "Tiger". After some hard thinking, my husband came up with a clever way to feed the medicine. This method is to wrap the tiger in a towel first, then the husband grips the package with his knee, forcing the tiger to open his mouth, and finally put the tablets under his tongue.

Just when my husband was complacent about his resourcefulness, one of them was careless and couldn't control the tiger and pills. The tiger broke free and jumped to the ground. The tiger sniffed the dropped pill, licked it and ate it!

8. Fortune teller: "This gentleman, I am good at fortune telling. Won't you take a look? "

Jellyfish: "Get out!"

9. A young man fell in love with a girl, and finally the girl became his fiancee. Today is the girl's birthday, and the young man wants to give a gift. He came to the shop and saw diamonds and jewels ... but they were too expensive.

Suddenly, the young man saw a vase, which was very beautiful. The young man thought it was appropriate to give it to his fiancee.

But it's still so expensive ...

The young man looked at it for a long time, and finally the manager noticed him. The manager sympathized with his situation. He pointed to a pile of vase fragments by the wall and said, well, I'll have these fragments sent to you, and then let this man enter the door and pretend to fall.

On the girl's birthday, young people are very nervous. Sure enough, a guy sent a box and dropped it when he entered the door.

All the guests looked at the box and opened it. It was some broken vase fragments, but each piece was a comic book packaged separately.

10, the manager of a company went to the hospital to visit a very good ceramic friend. "Li Kaiyang Guan Qi

"The patient said weakly. The manager wants to help him, but he can't speak Mandarin. "Li Kaiyang Guan Qi." The patient said, swallowing his last breath. Later that year, when the manager went to Shanghai on business, he finally understood what Li Kaiyang Guan Qi meant: "Put down the oxygen pipe. "

Homophonic humor joke 3 regional culture

A class teacher took maternity leave, and the school arranged Mr. Li geographically to take his place. One day, the monitor found Mr. Li and complained anxiously: "The blackboard newspaper in our class has not been published this month, and the school will evaluate it next week." Please set a theme and ask everyone to provide the manuscript. "

Mr. Li thought for a moment and said, "Go back to class immediately and tell the students that this month's blackboard newspaper will take' regional culture' as the theme, and please actively contribute particularly funny homophonic jokes."

The monitor returned to the classroom and announced it widely on the blackboard: please contribute actively to the theme of this month's blackboard newspaper-hell.

Fish is on sale in the market.

In a busy market, a fish seller shouted "fresh fish". At this time, a bubble gum seller immediately shouted "bubble gum (bubble water)". Hearing this, the fish seller said to the sugar seller, "Hey, why did you say my fish was soaked in water?" The more they quarreled, the more fierce they became. Just then, a bean sprout seller shouted, "Bean sprouts (fighting)"

A security officer came up and asked, "Who else is quarreling with them?" It happened that an avocado seller shouted "avocado (come with me)." After hearing this, the security guard said, "Well, take the four of you with you."

The steel door is broken.

The door of the bathroom at home is a particularly funny homophonic joke made of plastic steel. One day, the door broke down and got stuck there, so my dad called the master who sold the door.

My dad: "Master, my steel door (anus) is broken."

Master: "Er ~ ~ Well, why don't I call you 120?"

America and Japan in Asia

Mr. Li: How do you say that the United States and Japan are both in Asia?

Global Connect: I said, what's wrong with being in Asia every day? Aren't I in Asia every day?

Bend over and stand.

A foreign girl married to China. When eating breakfast, I was pointed out that I can't eat fried dough sticks: "Dip it."

She stood up at once and was told, "Take a dip!"

Confused, she said indignantly, "Let me eat standing up. I have stood up. Where should I stand? "

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