What joke did chaozhou people play when he spoke Mandarin?

Chaozhou Mandarin 1: Banana injury is a big problem, please tell the leader. Ladies and gentlemen, gentlemen! Wamen scattered their heads, and they bought beautiful scenery. Qualcomm is a barren land with many pheasants. Welcome to escape pig, tile exhibition, you hit a wall.

The investment promotion meeting begins now. Leaders are invited to speak. Ladies and gentlemen! Our Shantou has beautiful scenery, convenient transportation and many business opportunities. You are welcome to invest, I develop and you make money.

Chaozhou Putonghua II: The leaders with swollen branches and the guests of two groups of pig brothers came to laugh at me.

Party and government leaders at all levels and guests from the Federal Republic of Germany keep coming to the school.

Chaozhou Putonghua III: Eat first, then suck (fresh jujube cake), whoever eats will roll (water will boil immediately).

Chaozhou Putonghua IV: Let's eat watermelon, you eat shit (big noodles) and I eat urine (small noodles).

Chaozhou Putonghua 5: Standing in front of the bed (in front of the window) and looking at my wife (in the suburbs), the more beautiful my wife looks!

Chaozhou Putonghua 6: Warmly welcome overseas compatriots to study in our school.

Warm welcome, overseas red envelopes, I will laugh when the money comes.

Chaozhou Putonghua 7: A foreigner goes to a house to collect money. When her husband is not at home, he asks his wife to give the money to others. Remember to ask them to count and write a receipt. So, after the lovely woman gave the money to others, she said, "Comrade, smile!" " ("Laughter" is the tidal sound of "number". )

Chaozhou Putonghua 8: A woman in the village sells oranges and vines on the roadside. One day, a migrant worker bought a piece from her. After peeling, she wanted to collect money from him. Then, the lovely woman said, "Give me your money and I will marry you!" " "("marriage "is the tide sound of" sugarcane ")

Chaoshan Cantonese 1

The Chaoshan old man is going to return to Shantou by bus after finishing his work in Guangzhou. When he arrived at the station, he couldn't buy a ticket back to Shantou, because he couldn't speak Cantonese and Mandarin, and the conductor couldn't understand what he was saying.

The old man in Chaoshan thought that the hotel had checked out and there was no car back to Shantou. He anxiously read in Chaoshan dialect: "This is terrible! Double-headed death! Double-headed death! "

I only heard the conductor reply in Cantonese: "There is a shuttle bus in Shantou at seven o'clock tonight."

After buying the ticket, the old man suddenly felt anxious. When he wanted to go to the toilet, he found that he didn't bring toilet paper, so he quickly went to the station canteen to buy it. The salesman in the canteen doesn't know Chaoshan dialect, and he doesn't know what the old man wants to buy. He just shook his head and said in broken Mandarin, "Watch your language."

The old man angrily scolded in Chaoshan dialect: "smelly chicken!" " "

At this time, the salesman seemed to understand the old man's meaning and asked him in Guangzhou dialect, "Smelly chicken?" (Toilet paper) Do you want to buy toilet paper? "