Fortune Telling Collection - Comprehensive fortune-telling - The story in "Journey to the West"
The story in "Journey to the West"
Let's talk about the Monkey King's disturbance in the Heavenly Palace. Guanyin Bodhisattva recommended Jiro Zhenjun to subdue the demon and lead the heavenly soldiers to fight in Huaguoshan. While fighting, the Great Sage suddenly saw that the demon monkey in this camp was scared away and was flustered. He pulled himself away. The heavenly soldiers will be in a panic, looking back and forth, all shouting: "Monkey King, let's go!" " Let's go, this monkey is very good! "
Erlang God opened his eyes wide and saw a bustling underworld. The Great Sage turned into an old man, pushing a tricycle, shaking the ground and selling roasted sweet potatoes in the street. Jiro sneered in his heart and was about to hit him. Suddenly, he saw a group of chengguan, holding hammers, chopping sticks, shouting and drinking, and smashed themselves into pieces. Great Sage was frightened and thought it was a mountain soldier coming. He quickly turned the corner, turned himself into a young lady, blinked and walked there gracefully. However, Jiro saw clearly that he tried to bid twice. However, several policemen came face to face and caught the Great Sage: "It must be a pheasant. Come with me! " The Great Sage panicked and said, "I'm not a pheasant, I'm still a virgin!" The policeman laughed wildly: "Why a virgin? Can't virgins be prostitutes? " When the handcuffs shake, you have to arrest people. Seeing that things were not harmonious, the Great Sage quickly twisted his waist and flew away. Seeing a ravine in front of me, I rolled down the cliff, squatted there and turned into a primary school, with my mouth wide open, like the school gate, my teeth turned into door leaves, my eyes turned into window lattice, and I shook a few monkey lice.
Come down and be a student and babble. Only the tail is not easy to clean up, standing behind it, turning into a flagpole, with a big slogan: "A century-old plan, education-oriented; Compulsory education, free admission. " Jiro was robbed twice, and he was bored. Seeing this slogan, he couldn't help laughing: "This is the monkey! He coaxed me again today. As we all know, China is known as compulsory education, where can it be free? I've seen thousands of schools, but I don't see any one that doesn't make students a cash cow. Look, I killed this monkey! " Hearing this, the Great Sage jumped up and disappeared into the air.
The real king couldn't see the Great Sage, so he jumped into the clouds and took off. Seeing Li Tianwang standing in the clouds with his telescope held high, he laughed and said, "Zhenjun, let's go! Let's go The monkey comes out of the camp with invisibility and enters your mouth. " Hearing this, Jiro hurried back to Jiangkou to catch up.
It is said that Guanjiangkou is holding a conference, and the Great Sage, the representative of XX, is in the center of the venue, pointing east and west, giving a warm speech. I thought I was right, but I was caught by Zhenjun at a glance: "XX represents the idol of clay figurines all the time. When can I come out alive? " Hold the three-pointed and two-edged god front and cut it on the face. The Monkey King quickly dodged, making the golden hoop stick face to face. The two quarreled and hit the venue, half foggy and half cloudy, and they fought together.
Guanyin Bodhisattva, director of the Mid-air Goddess Federation, and Taishang Laojun, the minister of alchemy, are watching the battle. The Bodhisattva said to the old gentleman, "Brother Laojun, what do you think of the Erlang God mentioned by the poor monk? If there is an avatar, it has been surrounded by the Great Sage, but it has not been captured. I'll help him now and take the monkey head off. " The old man said, "Sister Guanyin?
What weapons will you use to help him? "Guanyin turned and called the mount:" Look, I hit him with a BMW. "The old man said," your BMW is very expensive. If you hit it,
It is not convenient to decompose. "Guanyin said," it's public money anyway. If you hit it, you hit it. " The old man added, "It's also very troublesome to repair. I'd better let it go. "
Let me help him for my sister. Guanyin said, "I don't want it if it's broken. I just want to change a Cadillac. " Is pandering, the old man turned a behind him.
Xian' e, a famous professor Zhang presented a treasure to the old man, muttering something, "We can't let everyone come to heaven ... I'm here."
Don't think I was wrong today ... "Turn around and go. The old gentleman looked intently and saw that the treasure was actually a "celestial population access system", and he couldn't help but be overjoyed: "This
As soon as he came out, people all over China trembled. It can be used against monkeys in Shan Ye village. When I throw it down and hit him. Sister Guanyin, the credit for this trip belongs to me.
Guanyin said to Chen Jiao, "Damn it, people won't play with you." The old man smiled and said, "Sister, don't be angry. If this blow is successful, you will definitely make a decision. "
How about a melody film featuring my sister and played by my ugly girl, which is shown in all theaters at the same time? "Guanyin is Hui Chen Zuoxi.
I saw the old gentleman slap the magic weapon down from Tianmen, going round and round, and Cocoa slapped the Monkey King on the head, knocking the Great Sage to the ground, and all the security in heaven was in order.
Squeeze in, tie up the Great Sage firmly and never change. A policeman said angrily, "This guy made us suffer a lot. Give him back today! abundant
You the Monkey King, I will turn you into Sun Zhigang today! "Just as he was about to give up the means, another policeman shouted," Wait a minute, we will lose the old means.
Nowadays, this fashion is in line with international standards. The methods used by American troops in Iraq to abuse prisoners are ever-changing. Why not learn a trick or two and make a fresh joke today? "Hearing this, the public security way:
Qi claimed to be wonderful, so he took the Great Sage to the demon chopping table, lit the fire, and chopped the axe with a knife, without hurting the Great Sage.
Seeing this, the Jade Emperor hesitated: "This fellow, what should I do ...? "The old man said," If you don't take it from the old man, put it in the gossip stove.
How about refining my Dan? "The jade emperor was overjoyed and gave the Great Sage exercise to the old gentleman. I don't know that the Great Sage is miraculous, but he changed when he pulled out a hair.
He made dollar bills, bribed the boy who fanned the fire, learned that there was wind and no fire in that place, and ran away without serious injury.
On July 49, the old gentleman opened the furnace to get the elixir, but he saw the Great Sage fly out, led the golden cudgel to kill in all directions, and fought against the Nine Obsidian Stars in the Heavenly Palace behind closed doors.
The four heavenly kings disappeared without a trace. Walking straight to the front of Tong Ming Temple, the Jade Emperor was surprised and shouted, "Quick, close the door and let the police go!" It turns out that police assistant Bi Zheng,
The police were ten times more vicious, only to see one by one fighting bravely and roaring enthusiastically, surrounded by the Great Sage and about to win it.
When the jade emperor saw that the police had dispersed, he was very happy. It turns out that this generation is insatiable, with only gold and silver in their eyes, and chain mail, the gold of the Great Sage, is roasting in the stove.
The armor ring was loose and was torn by the police. Suddenly, everyone had a piece of gold in their mouth and ran back to the backyard to bury the collection.
I had no choice but to see the Tathagata from the West help me gamble with the Great Sage. The Tathagata said, "I have a magic weapon. If you can fly out of my magic weapon,
Let you be the jade emperor; If we can't fly out, how about surrendering? "Say from the bosom took out a magic weapon, the wu is empty you see, it is a little book.
Son, write three words: temporary residence permit. He smiled and said, "What is the power of a small notebook? I will go! " A somersault flew out and descended from the sky to the north.
At the border of Beijing, just as the footsteps fell, I saw several policemen coming: "Who is that, talking about you! Take out the temporary residence permit and have a look! " Wukong a surprised, waist twist, again
A man flew to Guangzhou, watching, and suddenly saw a group of defense team members rushing in: "This seems to have no temporary residence permit, arrest him!" Too many chefs want to win the grand prize.
The Great Sage and the Great Sage quickly parted, and then flew back. In desperation, it was difficult to tell the direction, so they flew back to Tathagata. The Tathagata said with a smile, "What about my baby?" big
The holy one said, "It doesn't count! Not counting! I heard that there are countries in the west that have no temporary residence permits. Wait for me! " I was about to jump out, but I was turned over by the Tathagata, and my temporary residence permit was issued.
Turn into a five-element mountain and firmly hold down the Great Sage.
When the Jade Emperor saw the Great Sage captured, he was overjoyed, so he invited Tathagata and the hero to prepare a mahjong dinner and held an anti-heaven meeting.
World party. While having a good time, an old lady from Wuxingshan neighborhood Committee came to report: "The Great Sage poked his head out and said that he would leave the job fair and submit his resume.
Business card, find the right position, in order to make a comeback! "Tathagata," might as well, might as well. "Just take out a post from the sleeve with six gold words on it:" This!
Rural hukou. "To his men, posted on the five elements. Borrow it from heaven for another 500 years, so that the pillar will not fall off. That mountain is
Rooted and sewed, the Great Sage could never climb out again, nor could he turn over in 500 years.
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