100 funny signature of short sentences

1. Life is like a news broadcast, and you can't escape by changing the channel.

2. Ideas are like underwear. There should be, but it can't prove that everyone has it.

Why are you sitting there, looking like an envelope without an address?

It is not too late for a gentleman to take revenge for ten years, but a villain takes revenge all day long.

There will never be a pie in the sky, only a trap.

6. White plus white is black, because double negation is affirmation.

7. My feelings for you are like Lei Feng's pity for the poor.

8. In fact, a person is a corpse when he is alive, and a pile of ashes when he dies.

9. My heart for you is harder than a diamond. . . . . . It's not a heart-shaped stone, is it?

10. When you lose your mind, it's as amazing as a pig climbing a tree.

1 1. It is said that there is a monkey in the zoo, so ugly that everyone throws up! I went to see it the next day and threw up! On the third day, you went to the monkey and threw up!

12. Life is like a pile of rubbish. If you throw it into the fire, you can make a fine product by beating it!

13. Perfect boyfriend: no smoking, no drinking, no cheating. Does not exist!

14. Uncle policeman, I lost my bag. Don't worry, it's my treat, and then you can pay me back!

15. What is it? Man is alive, and he is dead. Some people are alive, and he should have died.

16. What is loneliness? That is, the phone bill of 50 yuan has been used for three months, and it has not been used up ... three months!

17. Someone told me how cool it is to open a room. Finally, one day I couldn't help getting a room ... it's really cool to sleep in such a big bed alone!

18. It is said that all parts of the country are mourning for a guy named Hot this summer-it's too hot!

19. During the lecture, the zipper of the female teacher's pants opened, and a girl stood up to remind: Teacher, your door was not closed! The teacher waved his hand: whatever, the director of education will come to inspect it later.

20. Early the next morning, the bride walked out of the bridal chamber in pain, holding the wall with one hand and covering her nakedness with the other, cursing: liar! What a liar! Before I got married, I said I had thirty years' savings. I thought it was money!

2 1. Cherish the dark-looking person around you, because one day a coal mine truck passes by, and you may never see him again.

22. Three wishes in life: one is to eat, the other is to sleep, and the third is to laugh.

23. I am in Jianghu, but there are no legends about me in Jianghu.

24. When men and women flirt, the most distinctive Chinese character is born: bump.

25. I knew he was a bad guy, but I forgot to say it.

26. I am as clever as usual. I don't like you on the whole!

27. Advertisement on the subway: Is it crowded? Buy a car! Advertisement in taxi: gambling? Take the subway! Shit, you're kidding me or something!

28. Do you know why Gao gets drunk? That's because Yao Jiaxin wants him to sing a song about you in prison.

29. An emotional fool won't mind loving a madman.

30. If there really are heroes like those in the novel, then the world is really wonderful!

3 1. How lovely the world would be if my test scores could rise as fast as the house price.

32. I watched the advertisement carefully, and suddenly a TV series popped up ... depressed. ...

33. Mom said: Even if you are jealous, pretend to drink soy sauce, and don't let others look down on you.

34. There must be a road in front of the driveway, and I can't stop it.

35. What should I do if I meet a snake in the wild? Don't panic, hold up an umbrella with a warm smile and pretend to be Xu Xian.

Yesterday, I went to the city to take part in the pigeon racing, but I went alone.

37. Eat, I want to be thin, I want to be thin. I can't have both, so I left.

38. Don't think I'm out of reach just because I'm handsome. In fact, I am a sea of rivers.

Some people are alive, but she is dead. Some people are still alive, and he should have died!

40. The best thing in the world is to sleep with the air conditioner on when you are full.

4 1. Big breasts don't necessarily marry Pan An, but small breasts can also catch Yanzu.

42. Thank you for robbing my date and letting me know that he is putting on airs.

43. Who is the future girlfriend I am in love with now?

44. There are so many brain-dead people in the world, but you have become the best among them.

45. Am I a personality? Of course.

46. Why are you pointing your chicken feet at me? Do you know that I prefer pickled peppers to dregs?

47. Don't ask me what I missed. I miss someone now.

48. I feel bad today. I just want to say four sentences, including the first two. I quit.

49. I saw a couple making out on the road. So I ran to the boy and said, Brother, today's sister is not as beautiful as yesterday's …

50. A man and a woman are making out. The man tried hard, but the woman didn't respond. The man was angry and asked, can't you respond a little? Can't even call the bed! The woman immediately shouted: Sleep! ! Bed! !

5 1. Dialogue between fortune teller and lady: Your life is not good. Why? Because you have a bad omen. Can I take off my bra? No, as soon as you take off the bad omen, there will be two big waves in your life.

52. Your Majesty, male and female servants have one thing to ask, please put them in the cold shoulder. Men and women can't stand these birds. It's too hot.

53. Today is MM's birthday. In order to be the first to send my blessing, I picked up my mobile phone on time early in the morning and sent a message: sofa.

54. Relying on mountains to eat mountains, relying on water to draft, grabbing today, not giving, who wants to resist, let him go to hell.

55. Yesterday is history, today is the beginning, and tomorrow will be hard for everyone!

56. Recently, the horse has begun to turn into a donkey's leg, and the cloud has turned into rain!

57. I only looked back, but I didn't care how long the road ahead was.

58. Without a strong owner, don't think you can bite just because you are a dog!

59. Sleeping on the printer can print out dreams all night, right?

Fasten your seat belt, there may be a love waiting for you ahead.

6 1. Xiaoming: Dad, am I a stupid child? Dad: Silly boy, how can you be a silly boy?

62. Life is like a journey, what matters is not the destination. But NB along the way, the mood when dealing with NB!

63. Stand on the shore of the years and be a Shui Piao for your past. ...

64. Sometimes it rains because the world needs washing, and sometimes it rains because the heart needs washing!

65. I am poor, please don't rob the tomb!

66. Don't think that just because you are younger than me, you can skip chalk for a few more days. The coffin is filled with dead people, not old people!

67. Famous saying, you have to be a celebrity first. That's a famous saying. Other people's farts are famous farts! Can you compare it?

68. I am a civilized person, and all the dirty words have been disinfected with saliva.

69. If I die, my first sentence is: I don't have to be afraid of ghosts at last.

70. I have done two things wrong in my life, one is to live and the other is to live.

7 1. We are just passers-by, playing group games here. Whether you lose or I win, we will play games together in the end!

72. Don't pose in front of me, I'm afraid I can't help but want to drop my camera.

73. Break up with you because you don't deserve to hold hands!

74. One day, San Xiao cried because San Xiao appeared!

75. Sanlu milk powder is the stepmother's choice.

76. Taking the RMB road leaves people with no choice!

77. Breaking up is boring. Divorce if you can!

78. Guinness Book of Records: The world's largest coffee table covers an area of 9.6 million square kilometers and can hold 654.38+03 billion cups.

79. To love yourself, you must be selfish first. Only selfishness can lead to deep love.

80. Some people always sell what they have in exchange for what they don't have.

8 1. When I was at school, it was just that little money, and now it's dawdling!

82. Doing well in the exam depends on sitting at the same table.

83. I despise those who often chat with expressions.

84. If you have a heart, you will be tired. If you have no heart, it doesn't matter.

85. The highest state of being a man is not that you pick up girls, but that girls pick up girls.

86. How big a body do you have to be to support your dirty soul!

87. I am not the Mona Lisa, and I will not smile at everyone.

88. Men say they like you, but in fact they just like your body.

There are thousands of men in the world, and it is really impossible to change them every day.

90. Matador, VIP among bitches.

9 1. Chopin, if you can pop up the sadness of labor and capital, labor and capital will give you a dollar.

92. Most of us who are alive have only done three things in our lives: deceiving ourselves, deceiving others and being deceived.

93. I am not afraid to drink dichlorvos, but I am afraid to open the lid and have another bottle.

94. If you were a flower, the cow wouldn't shit.

95. When you go out, there are no birds, and thousands of people live and die.

96. Women are like clothes, but elder sister is something you can't wear.

97. For the sake of the next generation of the motherland, no matter how ugly you are, you must fall in love. The world is full of love.

98. I'm going to get a haircut. I turned my head in the sea.

99. My hobbies can be divided into static and dynamic. Static is sleeping, dynamic is turning over.

100. Brushing your teeth is a bittersweet thing, with a cup in one hand and a toiletries in the other.