How to laugh at yourself

Koreans laugh at themselves and say, "In Korea, there are many people who sell golf, but few people really play golf."

Americans laugh at themselves and say, "In the United States, there are many people who help basketball stars sue, but few people can really play basketball."

The fans said: "In China, there are many fortune tellers for the China football team, but few people can really play football."

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Humor has always been called the language art that only smart people can master, and self-mockery is also called the highest realm of humor. It can be seen that those who can laugh at themselves must be the wise among the wise and the master among the masters. Self-mockery is a skill that people who lack self-confidence dare not use, because it requires you to scold yourself. In other words, we should "tease" our own mistakes, shortcomings, and even physical defects, instead of hiding and avoiding those ugliness and shame, but enlarge, exaggerate and analyze them, and then skillfully extend and excuse them to get a smile. Without an open-minded, optimistic, detached and ridiculous mentality and mind, it is impossible. It is conceivable that self-righteous, calculating and stingy people are hard to compare. It is safest to laugh at yourself without hurting anyone. You can use it to enliven the conversation atmosphere and eliminate tension; Seek the steps in embarrassment and save face; Get the human touch in public; Under special circumstances, innuendo, stabbing an unreasonable villain.

1. Make yourself laugh.

In interpersonal communication, when people feel ashamed and embarrassed, using self-mockery to deal with difficulties can not only easily find steps, but also produce humorous effects. Therefore, it is a clever way to laugh at yourself, tickle yourself a few times and laugh first.

Legend has it that there was a stone bachelor in ancient times who accidentally fell to the ground riding a donkey, and most people would be at a loss. But Shi Bachelor stood up unhurriedly and said, "I am a Shi Bachelor, but if I were a tile, wouldn't I break into pieces?" A punch line made the people present laugh, and naturally this stone learning also relieved the embarrassment in laughter. By analogy, a fat man fell down and said, "If this body of meat is not supporting you, why don't you break the bone?" If you change to a thin man, you can say, "If it weren't for your light weight, this fall would be a meat pie!" "The author experienced such a thing: the wife of a short scholar laughed at her husband's short stature, and the scholar smiled and said," I think it's better to be short. If I am not1.57m, can I still write now? "If it weren't for my short stature and great strength, would you win every battle? If I am not short, can you say that I am too short? " When these words were finished, the audience was amazed.

It can be seen that it is easy to laugh at one of your own shortcomings when you laugh at yourself. But with this tolerance and courage, others will not let you laugh alone, but will usually laugh with you.

After the victory of the Anti-Japanese War, Zhang Daqian returned to his hometown in Sichuan from Shanghai. Before he left, his friends gave him a farewell dinner and invited Mei Lanfang and others to accompany him. The banquet began, and everyone asked Zhang Daqian to sit first. Zhang said: "Mr. Mei is a gentleman and should sit at the top. I am a villain and should accompany the last seat. " Mei Lanfang and others don't understand its meaning. Zhang Daqian explained: "Isn't there a saying that' a gentleman speaks, a villain does it'?" Teacher Mei's singing is lip service, while my painting is hands-on. I should let Mr Mei Qing sit down first. "All the guests smiled and asked them to sit side by side in the first seat. Zhang Daqian laughed at himself as a villain, as if he were laughing at himself. But "the meaning of drunkenness is not wine" not only shows Zhang Daqian's open mind, but also creates a relaxed and harmonious conversation atmosphere.

Someone wants to go abroad for further study. His wife said half jokingly, "You may see other women when you go to that world of flowers!" " "He said with a smile," Look at my face: I have a flat face and round legs. I'm afraid I can't lift my head when I stand on the road! "A word amused his wife. Everyone is afraid to mention his appearance defects, but this husband can accept his birth defects and doesn't care about exposing ugliness. This self-mockery reflects the modality of sugar and wine and the wisdom of life. Isn't it better than solemnly swearing to your wife that you will never have sex? At this time, he must become beautiful and lovely in the eyes of his wife.

In social interaction, when you are in an awkward position, self-mockery can often help you get out of the predicament with dignity. At a reception held by a club, the waiter accidentally spilled beer on a guest's shiny bald head while pouring wine. The waiter stunned the audience. The guest smiled and said, "Brother, do you think this treatment will be effective?" The people present laughed, and the embarrassing situation was immediately broken. With the help of self-mockery, the guests not only showed their generosity, but also maintained their self-esteem and eliminated their sense of shame.

It can be seen that timely and moderate self-mockery is a good accomplishment and a communication skill full of face power. Self-mockery can create a relaxed and harmonious conversation atmosphere, make yourself live easily, make people feel your cuteness and humanity, and sometimes maintain face more effectively and establish a new psychological balance.

2. Public figures need to laugh at themselves.

In interpersonal communication, high-ranking people or celebrities are prone to feel arrogant when interacting with others. Maybe it's because others are too nervous and stressed, or maybe these people haven't got the hang of getting along with ordinary people. Generally speaking, making fun of yourself can relieve the pressure of others and make ordinary people feel human, just like ordinary people, thus making people feel very comfortable.

There are many such examples, and some crosstalk performers, comedians or program hosts often win the praise of the audience. There are many such people in life. Although a teacher is only in his forties, most of his hair is bald, revealing a "barren land". Students used to call him a bald teacher behind his back. Later, he simply explained to his classmates the reasons for baldness due to illness. Finally, he added this self-mockery: "It's good to lose all my hair. At least the lights in the classroom will be much brighter when I am in class." The students smiled in a friendly way, and no one called him the bald teacher anymore.

Of course, self-mockery is not self-abuse, not making a fool of yourself. We should be careful here.

Try to be personalized and vivid, and learn to laugh at yourself appropriately, which can often make your speech interesting. The power of humor can identify with humorous things. Therefore, a truly great person will laugh at himself and encourage others to laugh with him. They give and get by sharing human nature with others, and you can do it!

President Lincoln also made fun of himself, especially his appearance. Once he started his communication with others with such a short story:

"Sometimes I feel like an ugly person, walking in the forest and meeting an old woman. My mother said, "You are the ugliest person I have ever seen. I can't help it The ugly man replied. "No, I don't think so," said the old woman. "At least you can stay at home! "'

Woody Allen, a humorous writer, actor and director, said, "I was ugly when I was a child. "I didn't have this face until I grew up."

Laughing at your looks or things you do that are not very beautiful will make you more human. If you happen to be handsome or beautiful, try your other shortcomings. If you really don't have any shortcomings, make up one, and it's usually not difficult to find them. The coach of a college football team was asked about a star player. The coach said, "He is a senior and a good player. But there is one drawback, that is, he is already a senior. "

If your characteristics, abilities or achievements may make others jealous or even afraid, try to change these bad views. For example, you can say a quip: "No one in the world is perfect, and I am the best example." Laughing with others in a self-deprecating way will help others like you, respect you and even admire you, because the power of your humor proves that you are human.

"I like you" leads to "I know you" and then leads to "I believe you". So, your ultimate goal is trust. When others trust you, you can influence them and let them push themselves to develop their potential. This is also the ultimate goal of everyone when interacting with others and being positive.

In fact, whether you are a big shot or a small shot, self-mockery can make you red. Great people can gain a good reputation by laughing at themselves, but small people can have fun from it and even become comedians overnight.

3. People don't laugh at themselves and appear stingy.

Openness is an important quality contained in humor.

Everything is optimistic, even if you are in prison, you can see hope, instead of moping and being sad all day. Your precious thinking mode is' roll with the punches', not haggling over every ounce and being too serious; Think about your own shortcomings and incompetence, and often laugh at yourself, instead of being the best in the world and boasting blindly. This is open-minded.

Openness often means detachment, but it has not developed to nothingness, so it is still a positive factor and a manifestation of good human nature.

(China people's soft humor) recorded such a thing: In the 1960s, a film director went to live in rural Sichuan. When it rained at noon, he saw a hut where he could hide, so he broke into the house and ran out when he met an old couple making out in bed. He was embarrassed and uncertain whether to stay. I don't want the old man to go out and invite him warmly. He smiled and explained, "There is nothing to do in rainy days." Sister also interjected: "It also saves you from being hungry."

There is a story in Selected Works of Xiao Ya: A man bragged about his wealth to his guests: "My family has everything." He held out two fingers and said, "All that is missing is the sun and the moon in the sky." Before he finished speaking, the servant at home came out and said, "The kitchen has run out of firewood." The man stretched out his finger and said, "There is no sun, moon and firewood."

The protagonists in the above two kinds of humor make fun of their own embarrassment and predicament, so that they can get rid of the embarrassing situation intelligently and show an open-minded manner. Let's imagine, what else can they do?

Standing outside yourself and appreciating your own trauma can produce happiness for a period of time. A man named Heywood Broth once invested his 40-year savings in the stock market and lost all in the 1929 crisis. Hearing the news, his reaction was not to cry and shout, but to say, "Come on, go." It was lost overnight, and we can't help saying "walk fast", but is it really "come fast"? No, we know that's his 40-year savings. Obviously, he jumped out of his own disaster and laughed at himself.

There is a story in Seven Words Record: Liu Zhuo and his cousin Liu Xuan are both very knowledgeable, but they were arrested for breaking the law. County officials didn't know they were university experts, so they were all handcuffed. Liu Zhuo said: "Sitting in the cangue all day, I just can't go home." Liu Xuan said; "I also sit at home all day, but I don't see a woman."

Their self-mockery is more interesting and skillful than broth. The lonely and desolate life without family and wife doesn't seem serious. Like brothers, they laughed at their own tragedy and overcame it.

Narrow-minded, haggle over every ounce, stubborn, often open-minded, bold enemy, so it is often satirized in humor. Please see:

When Donald comes home from a day's holiday in the capital, he always complains that the rent of his room that night is as high as six pounds. His friend said, "Nothing. I believe it is quite enjoyable for you to visit there. " Donald said, "Where! I haven't seen anything good! Do you think I have to pay so much rent if I don't make full use of the room? "

Donald's gains and losses are clear at a glance. This is a bit like China writer Gao Xiaosheng's Chen Kesheng, who fainted in the city and was sent to a high-end hotel. At the checkout, the price was so high that he was surprised. He immediately went back to his room, sat down on Simmons and the sofa, jumped a few times and made full use of the room. Both Chen Kesheng and Donald have become the objects of ridicule by the author, which shows the importance of modesty.

Finally, it is important to point out that self-mockery should be detached, not bitter and humiliating.

Most scholars believe that laughing at their own shortcomings and stupidity is the highest level of humor. However, the emotions that accompany this ridicule are different. If we laugh at ourselves bitterly and think that we have made a stupid mistake and should be punished, then we will only feel humiliated. Because the underlying consciousness behind this attitude is to believe that we should be better than reality, and this attitude towards life is an obstacle to our detachment. If we laugh at ourselves with love, we can achieve some kind of amiable detachment. Because we feel stupid, but we don't care about our own shadows.

Step 4 scold yourself for being the safest

When you want to tell a joke, a short story, or a witticism or an anecdote, the safest goal is yourself. If you laugh at yourself, who will be unhappy?

There is an unwritten law that people who laugh at themselves have the right to make fun of others. Sir Churchill often used humor to relieve the pressure of war. Once a political colleague was teased and said, "He is a humble man, and he has many things that make him humble."

People in politics must be prepared to be attacked at any time. However, for ordinary people, in daily life, if "he" in Churchill's quip is changed to "I", it will be even worse. Whenever you want to criticize, complain or propose construction, the "I" view is the most ideal.

By setting yourself up as a humorous goal, you can convey information and express opinions without attacking others. For example, "a conceited person has a low appetite and is more interested in himself than I am."

"I'm not old, just to the prime of life. It's just that it took me more and more time than others to reach the prime of life. "

"I this kind of person is enough to make you rely on friends. Always by your side-when I need you. "

Self-mockery is widely used and safe. Here are some examples:

In impromptu speech, if the speaker can laugh at himself and distort himself in a timely and appropriate way, it is a sign of wisdom and high education. The speaker can gain humor, "lubricate" the relationship between the speaker and the audience and increase the interest of the speech.

1930 On February 9, Cai Yuanpei's 70th birthday, people from all walks of life in Shanghai hosted a banquet to welcome him at the International Hotel. When thanking him, he said humorously and freely, "When you come to celebrate my birthday, you always ask me to work for another few years. Living to 70 years old, I feel that I have done something wrong in these 69 years. If I want to live a few more years, I just want to do something wrong for a few more years. " Hearing this, the guests burst into laughter, and the whole banquet was full of laughter. Imagine if he put on a serious face and made a serious thank-you speech, he wouldn't have created such a relaxed and happy atmosphere. However, when using the "lubricant" of self-mockery, we should pay attention to the scenes and situations, and it is not appropriate to use this "liquid" that makes people laugh in serious occasions or sad atmosphere.

3 Frankly poking fun at yourself can ease the tension.

When playing a blind date in a movie or TV series, one side often wants to speak, and the other side wants to speak, which makes them embarrassed and has to swallow back what they have to say. After the pause, two people spoke at the same time ... This embarrassing situation appeared again and again. For the third party, this is a comedy, but for the parties, it is a rather bitter experience.

I witnessed this embarrassing scene. At this time, the gentle and honest man, in order to break the deadlock, said half jokingly, "We seem to breathe in unison!" " "Hearing these words, not only the heroine couldn't help laughing, but even the adults who accompanied her laughed. Later, everyone seemed to relax and everything went well.

It's natural to feel nervous when meeting people for the first time. The problem is that if you think too much when you meet for the first time, the tension will increase. In order to avoid this situation, it is a feasible method to tell yourself and laugh at yourself when you are nervous or even fail. For example, someone said, "Look! When I'm nervous, my hands are shaking like alcoholism. There is really no way. " Speaking of which, my hand stopped shaking.

3 Bold self-satire can show self-confidence and save face.

Sometimes you will be embarrassed for your own reasons, such as appearance defects, your own shortcomings, mistakes in words and deeds and so on. Self-confident people can maintain their self-esteem, and people with low self-esteem often fall into embarrassment. For all kinds of shortcomings that affect the image, bold and clever self-mockery can show your self-confidence and uninhibited communication charm while getting rid of the predicament quickly. If you are "not high above sea level", you might as well say that you are small in size, big in face and devoted to high technology; If you are ugly, you might as well say' I am ugly but I am gentle'; Even if you buckle a small pot on your back like Jing Liu, you might as well say that you have a hunchback rather than a bow. No wonder Herb Tru of the United States listed self-mockery as the highest level of humor in his book Humorous Life. It would be even more wonderful if we could skillfully integrate our own embarrassment into the topic and lead to enlightening truth in combination with specific communication occasions and language environment. For example, a teacher with a poor Cantonese accent and poor Mandarin once took a Chinese class. When talking about illustrating a problem, he said "I have four analogies" as "I have four farts". In an instant, the classroom seemed to explode, and the students couldn't help laughing. The teacher had a brainwave and sang a doggerel: "Four farts, make a fool of yourself, classmates, don't learn from me, practice Mandarin as soon as possible, young, handsome and beautiful." The teacher's wit and humor won warm applause from the students.

(4) Self-mockery can show openness and increase human feelings.

Laughing at our looks, or laughing at our ugly jobs, will make us more human and give people an amiable feeling. On one occasion, Chen Yi went to a relative's house for the Mid-Autumn Festival. When you find a good book when you enter the door, you concentrate on reading it and mark it with a brush while reading it. The host urged him to eat several times, but if he didn't go, he brought bazin and sugar. While reading and eating, he actually dipped the ink into the inkstone and sent it directly to his mouth. Relatives burst into laughter as soon as they met. He said, "It doesn't matter if you eat some ink. I just feel that there is too little ink in my stomach! People love Chen Yi, doesn't it have anything to do with his open-minded and humorous personality?

In a word, self-mockery is a rare panacea for social occasions. When all else fails, you might as well make fun of yourself. At least it is safe to scold yourself, unless you criticize others, it is generally not annoying. The golden rule of the wise is: laugh at yourself first, no matter how you want to laugh at others.

5. Barna does not laugh at others.

When your mistakes cause opposition, it should not be difficult to be forgiven if you can laugh at yourself in time. It's like two people fighting One suddenly fell to the ground and thought he was no match. If the other person is not a rogue, his hostility will generally disappear with anger and laughter, and perhaps help the "loser". The following is a concrete example of this method:

(1) If the hostility in the conversation comes from a small gaffe, just laugh at yourself and you can resolve it diplomatically. For example, if you say bad dirty words in your speech, and the other person's face sinks, you can laugh at yourself: "Hey, I'm such a rude person, I can't get rid of the dirty words in my stomach." I forgive you a lot. " A word of interruption can make the other person no longer mind. For another example, when quarreling, you are a little excited, speak gruffly and loudly, and the other party is already unhappy. You have to stop quickly: "I'm sorry, I get excited easily." I really turned into a cockfighting just now. " The other person will definitely laugh.

If the conversation hurts people's self-esteem and exposes the hidden scars of the other party, it is dangerous. If the other person is very cultured, he will leave without saying anything; Poor cultivation, see if he doesn't attack you personally in turn! At this time, you must think of a way to laugh at yourself, right But you should try your best to be humorous and sincere and make the other person feel sweet. For example, if you talk about the advantages of a healthy person in front of the disabled and mention the work that he can't do, he will certainly have great dissatisfaction. You can say, "Well, after all, healthy people are not necessarily strong." Zhang Haidi is a paraplegic, but he can learn a skill and become famous all over the world. I am a man with developed limbs and simple mind. I won't think twice before I speak. My mother often calls me a father with a wooden head ... "

(3) After saying the wrong thing, introduce the topic to yourself tactfully. Eliminate each other's hostility and divert each other's attention by attacking yourself in good faith. The advantage of this is that you can take care of each other's self-esteem without showing any trace, and at the same time skillfully ease the tense atmosphere.

A dormitory. Freshmen arrive first and compete for seats. Old seven was outspoken and argued with old eight for a long time. He saw that Lao Ba, who was a few days younger than himself, finally came to the bottom and said, "All right. You are at the bottom. It is a small cockroach in our dormitory. Your surname is Wang, and I will call you' King of cockroaches' in the future. " The speaker has no intention, but the listener has intention. It turns out that the old man has a pimple on his face, commonly known as "youth beauty disease", and he often feels deep. How can he not be angry at this time? Old seven felt remorse when he saw that he had caused another storm. On the surface, he is not in a hurry or angry. He looked in the mirror and said to himself, "curled up on his cheek, leaning between his ears and wings, his charm is a little bit." Alas, old eight, I am really' a wave of unrest, a wave of rise again'! "Old eight listened to, can't help heart. It turns out that Lao Qi also has freckles on his face.

Lao qi's self-correction technique is very clever. After unintentionally offending others, he immediately laughed at himself implicitly and cleverly pointed out that he was also freckled by Yu Guangzhong's poems. His words of "after a wave of unrest, a wave rises again" are not only a self-mockery of the distribution shape of freckles on his face, but also an implicit remorse for the two storms caused by his outspoken remarks, thus winning the old man's knowing smile. This kind of self-mockery is to seek each other's understanding by poking fun at oneself, so it is also a quite flexible way to correct mistakes.

④ Use self-mockery to resolve the sense of distance and hostility in the new environment.

Bailey is in charge of paperwork in the transportation department of a large enterprise company. When this company was merged by another big company, Bailey was in the midst of great ups and downs in personnel changes. His new colleagues seemed to be unfriendly to him until one day Bailey used self-mockery. "They dare not dismiss me." He explained: "I am far behind others in all aspects."

Bailey made fun of himself and made his new colleagues laugh with him, which helped him to establish a friendly and cooperative relationship. If Bailey's witticism really shows that he really has a bad habit of putting off today's work until tomorrow, it will also remind him to know himself better. He objectively reviewed his shortcomings-procrastination in a self-ironic way, and improved his performance, thus achieving success.

6. Say you can also make others blush.

All humor is generosity and kindness to others. The protagonist of humor embodies the intention of the humorous user or author, and often does not embarrass others everywhere, but always makes trouble with others, not to mention making trouble. Generally speaking, he always stays away from things. Even if he is treated unfairly, or is treated unfairly by ordinary people, he often won't gnash his teeth in resentment, swear angrily, and even take out a killer to kill each other. However, he is not a loser, and he will respond in his unique tolerant way, perhaps with a little ridicule and, of course, self-mockery. In this way, he often becomes a winner at a higher level.

Legend has it that the wife of the Greek philosopher Socrates is a shrew and often loses her temper with him, while Socrates always laughs at others: "Marrying such a wife has many advantages, which can exercise my endurance and deepen my cultivation." Once, his wife lost her temper again, made a scene, and refused to give up for a long time, so Socrates had to stay at a respectful distance from others. As soon as he left the house, the angry lady suddenly poured a big basin of water from upstairs and poured him like a drowned rat. At this time, Socrates shivered and said unhurriedly, "I knew there would be heavy rain after thunder, and it was as I expected."

Obviously, Socrates was somewhat helpless, but his self-deprecating sarcasm got him out of this predicament, which showed Socrates' profound life accomplishment.

Being able to make the other person blush by innuendo is not only an unpleasant solution, but also an admonition. Why not?

The comedian Carol Bernie once sat in a restaurant for lunch. At this moment, an old woman went to her dining table and raised her hand to touch Carol's face. When her fingers passed Carlo's five senses, she said apologetically, "I don't see how beautiful it is."

"Save your blessings!" Carol said. "I don't look good."

It is absolutely impolite to imitate the faces of strangers; When she pretended to be sorry, but she was really jealous, the old woman's jealousy of the beautiful young woman almost developed into a malicious bitterness. It is conceivable that if she faced a person as rude and narrow-minded as her, people might witness a fight. However, Carlo Baini performed comedy, and she deeply understood the difference between comedy and farce. Therefore, first of all, she described the old woman's rudeness as "blessing" and asked her to stop "blessing". Then, frankly admit that you are not beautiful, satirize each other and laugh at yourself. In the face of rude and outrageous aggression, he maintained his dignity, and at the same time showed sudden tolerance and kindness, thus psychologically defeating the other side. There are many ingredients that make people laugh, and there are even more awe-inspiring ingredients.

Anyone who can manipulate humor, the highest language art, is already "over-intelligent", so the person who can use self-mockery as a weapon can be called the "uncrowned king" in the field of human manipulation. How can it not be awe-inspiring?