A good mother doesn't yell or scream, but teaches boys 16 tricks.

Moms, think about whether your boys believe in themselves. What should we do when the boy is "disobedient"? Ignore? Helpless? Copying boys? Helpless? Yelling? Or yelling? Lots of boys? Very naughty, often provoked my mother to shout: "Don't make me angry!" " ""How many times have I told you! " "Why don't you listen!" "Look at you, you really don't have a long memory!" "Get out of here!" "See if I don't tidy up you!" "Are you looking for someone to fight! "... there is no denying that many mothers are at a loss about boys' education. How to educate boys better is a problem that every mother should seriously consider.

Some mothers may ask, "Don't make a hullabaloo about? In the face of naughty boys, can we stop yelling? " Of course, and it is necessary. Not yelling and not teaching boys is an educational wisdom, an educational art and a humanized educational concept. At the same time, this kind of education is also a kind of respect and encouragement for boys. In this way, what the boy feels from his mother is warmth, that is, positive expectation. He will become confident and have the courage and strength to solve problems and overcome difficulties.

For a boy, it is easy for him to accept his mother's rational education without yelling; Yelling at him, even fighting? The way of education will make him rebellious and even resist this kind of educational behavior. Of course, he will not seriously correct his mistakes. So my mother is gentle and reasonable, and the effect is many times stronger than yelling.

1 takes "don't yell, don't teach boys" as its mission.

When most mothers educate their boys, they will take the form of scolding, one is out of speaking habits, and the other is to pursue the shocking educational effect at that time. However, the reprimanding education will not only bring panic to the boy, but also seriously dampen his self-esteem, which is not good for the boy's growth and development. And "no yelling, no yelling" is the most effective educational method to stimulate boys to exert their various potentials. Not yelling or yelling is the educational wisdom that mothers must master.

In recent years, in the field of family education, we have heard a word more and more-zero roar, which means to raise children in a way that does not roar or roar. This kind of "zero roar" education emphasizes that educators should focus on how to appease children's anxiety, rather than controlling children through approximate roar.

We can think quietly, why should we make a hullabaloo about? Under what circumstances do we usually roar? What is the result after yelling?

In addition to trying to stop the boy's behavior, when the boy makes us "furious", we can only vent our emotions by yelling loudly; We earnestly taught him, but he refused to change. How can we hold back our anger? Therefore, the root cause of shouting is often that the boy's actions do not conform to our wishes and arouse our anger. We are eager for him to obey our instructions, so our volume increases, our speech speed increases and our faces become ferocious.

When we yell at boys, boys only respond by obeying or resisting. If he is obedient, we will immediately taste the "sweetness" of scolding education, so we will unconsciously increase the frequency and intensity of scolding boys. However, the obedience of boys' behavior does not mean inner obedience. If he refuses verbally, he will express his dissatisfaction with us in a stronger way when he is "fed up". At that time, apart from being sad, it was difficult for us to attribute the child's outbreak to our roar. Since then, we have never lost the way to subdue him, and he has entered a rebellious period "justifiably". What is terrible is that he will get along with his family, classmates, teachers and others with this rebellious mood and become a "nail" in everyone's eyes. If the boy accepts convincingly, he will live in fear to avoid hearing his mother's growl again. He won't take the initiative to try new things. He will refuse to grow up because he is afraid of making mistakes, so he will gradually become timid and finally grow into a cowardly person who dare not take responsibility.

The second trick is that a mother who doesn't yell or scream is better than a good teacher.

In addition, after boys enter school, life is family except school. If he had just been scolded by his teacher at school and yelled at by his mother at home, how sad he would be! If the teacher gives him a soft reason, but we always yell at him, our prestige in his heart will naturally decrease, and he will become more and more disobedient. Therefore, it doesn't matter what kind of teacher a boy meets. The important thing is that he must be guided correctly by a good mother.

Whether boys have a sense of dependence or rejection on us depends entirely on our attitude, that is, whether we educate our children in a way that does not shout or scream.

The third trick is to reflect on yourself through the "mirror" of boys.

Each of our mothers has the experience of looking in the mirror. If we were dressed neatly, we wouldn't be in a mess in the mirror. "Mirror" is the true reflection of our image. However, do we know that there is a "small mirror" in life that reflects us all the time, and this small mirror is our child.

We mothers always see the boy's problems, but we don't know that his problems are actually a reflection of our own problems. It is precisely because we didn't "reflect on ourselves" that we fixed our eyes on the boy and yelled at him again and again. The boy could only bear it innocently! Reflect on yourself through boys' words and deeds.

You know, every time we yell at a boy, we deny ourselves.

The fourth measure is that the mother sets an example and the boy "acts without orders"

Help boys establish a correct outlook on life. In the process of growing up, boys do not have a clear concept of good or bad, right or wrong. He doesn't know what not to say or do. When he saw what we said and did, he thought it was reasonable. His outlook on life and values are entirely obtained from our words and deeds.

If the mother loves to lie, don't expect the boy to be honest; If a mother is not filial to her parents, don't expect her children to be filial to us in the future; If the mother is always yelling at others, don't expect the child to speak softly to his parents ... so, what kind of person we want the child to become, we must first become that kind of person.

Fifth, give the boy a warm and harmonious family atmosphere.

The influence of family environment on boys is not only reflected in life, health and study, but also in emotion, character and morality. Therefore, please ask mothers to give boys a warm and harmonious family atmosphere with the unique gentleness of women.

Married women play different roles such as wife, daughter-in-law and mother at home, and have to deal with different family members such as husbands, in-laws and parents. Friction in getting along is inevitable, but if we consider the influence of family environment on boys, we should solve contradictions through communication, tolerate each other and understand each other, instead of losing our temper, swearing and yelling. This way can not only solve the problem, but also intensify the contradiction. In The War at Home, the children at home are the most easily neglected and injured people. Therefore, for their healthy physical and mental development, please ask mothers and family members to create a harmonious and warm family atmosphere for him.

Give children a quiet learning environment.

The sixth trick is to read more educational books and improve your literacy.

Although we are mothers, we are not necessarily proficient in "education". We often educate boys according to our own experiences, habits and moods. Our experiences are not necessarily correct or scientific. If we teach in an incorrect way, we really can't predict the development of students.

Therefore, those of us who are not proficient in education must study consciously. Many educational books provide us with a large number of educational methods that can be verified and summarized through practice and are suitable for modern families. It can be said that these books are the compass for us to educate our children correctly. You can only study by reading and get into one? Only by improving the quality of our own education can we avoid the adverse consequences caused by wrong teaching to the maximum extent.

So, what should we learn from educational books?

Understanding the growth law of boys, learning to educate boys with "good methods" and improving educational emotions are the basis.

The seventh trick is to invite the boy's father to participate in education.

Ask her husband to accompany boys to eat more, keep the consistency of education with her husband, and improve the quality of education with her husband.

The eighth trick is to be good at listening to the voices of boys.

As mothers, no matter how much we love our children, we can't make them accept our love without a good education method. Everyone is eager to be understood and loved, and boys are no exception. In fact, only when a good mother doesn't make a hullabaloo about can the boy open his heart to us and let us know the mysterious and rich inner world of the boy.

A chance to talk to a boy

"Mom, something happened in our class today ..."

"Okay, okay, say something useless. If you focus on your study, are you still worried about learning badly? Go and do your homework! "

Such a scene may often happen around us, and before the boy says a few words, we just refuse him. However, when the boy said nothing to us, we began to blame him again. In fact, all this was caused by ourselves, because we didn't have a chance to talk to the boy.

Don't interrupt the boy, listen to him patiently.

The ninth trick is to let the boy point out his mother's mistakes.

If the boy says to us, "Mom, you are wrong!" "At this time, many mothers may retort:" You are so bold that you dare to say that your mother is wrong! "The implication of this sentence is: I am your mother, and you are not qualified to criticize me. Many mothers do this to stop the boy's criticism and maintain their image in the boy's mind.

Don't hide your mistakes in front of the boy, accept the boy's criticism with an open mind, and let the boy have a correct "admonition" method and attitude.

10 move bravely admit mistakes and apologize to boys.

When we misjudge the boy, when we break our promise to the boy, when we hurt the boy, should we admit our mistakes and apologize to him? Many mothers may say, "admit your mistake and apologize to him." What is the majesty of being a mother? " ? What should I do with him in the future? "

However, in life, we often educate boys: if you do something wrong, you should be brave enough to admit it, and if you know it, you should be a good boy. However, when we do something wrong ourselves, we not only don't admit our mistakes to boys, but even cover them up and excuse ourselves. So, what would the boy think? What will you do in the future?

You know, the role of example is far greater than words and deeds. Therefore, when we are wrong, we must be brave enough to admit it and apologize to the boy in time. In this way, the boy's mind will have the idea that his mother dares to admit his mistakes and apologize. So what mistakes can I not admit? What reason do I have not to apologize?

Put down the shelf of being a mother, choose the appropriate form of apology, and apologize to the boy sincerely in time.

1 1 Try to be an idol in the eyes of boys.

Idolatry is the normal psychology of every boy. Boys have established their idols since they were young in metropolis. Maybe parents, maybe heroes, maybe successful people. Actually, in every boy's? Among them, his mother is his first idol. The mother's morality, words and deeds, and the way she treats people will directly or indirectly affect boys.

In the eyes of a boy, mother can do anything. As long as his mother is here, he is not afraid of anything. For example, my mother can always answer questions she doesn't understand patiently. When encountering difficulties, my mother can always be around for the first time; When I am sick, my mother will always wait for me. When I am hungry, my mother can always provide delicious meals ... What my mother does is enough to make a boy who just started to know the world worship.

Ensure the idol status in boys' hearts, always standardize their words and deeds, and infect boys with the power of idols.

12 trick to spend as much time as possible with boys.

In fact, the child doesn't care how many toys we bought him, nor how many delicious foods we bought him. He just wants us to be with him. Just like a children's song "Love me, hug me" sings "Mom and Dad, if you love me, spend more time with me", which is the truest voice from children. Therefore, no matter how busy you are, you should spare as much time as possible to accompany your children and give them enough spiritual care.

Usually spend more time with boys, educate and guide boys in the company, and invite dad to join the ranks of accompanying boys.

13 recruits dare to open their hearts to boys.

We all want to walk into the boy's heart, which not only requires him to open his heart to us, but also means that we also? Open your heart to him. Only in this way can we express our true thoughts and feelings to each other, can't we? Good parent-child communication relationship.

Only when we dare to reveal our inner world to boys can we achieve good educational results. It was by telling her childhood mistakes that Wei Lei's mother made him understand the truth, which made him easier to accept and achieved good educational results. So, we should have the courage to open our hearts to that boy and be equal to him? Communication and exchange.

Let boys know themselves in time and share their feelings with boys.

14 this move is to consider the problem from the perspective of boys.

One day, 10-year-old Haoran came home from school and said sadly to his mother, "Mom, I didn't do very well in the math exam this time, only got 82 points."

"82 points, how so little? What's going on recently? Are you playful again? Don't go out to play casually in the future, now go back to the house to study! "

Seeing his mother's attitude, Haoran didn't say anything. In fact, Haoran hasn't had time to tell his mother that the real situation is that the papers given by the teachers are generally difficult, and only five students in the class scored more than 80 points.

Similar scenes may often happen around us. When we communicate with a boy, we often jump to conclusions according to his words. As a result, sometimes, my initial conclusions are completely different from the final facts? We will inevitably wronged that boy, just like Haoran's mother.

Only by not jumping to conclusions from the adult's point of view can we reduce the conflict between us and the boy and win his trust and respect. Therefore, when we communicate with boys, we must consider the problem from his point of view, and we must listen to him, and don't draw conclusions just by a few words.

Think more about the feelings of boys and abandon the subjective prejudice of adults.

15 is good at learning some new knowledge from boys.

Today's children grow up in the information age with rapid development of science and technology. They are not only willing to accept new things? And the ability to acquire this knowledge far exceeds ours. For example, in the face of some high-tech products-digital cameras, smart phones, computers and so on. We may not know where to start at first, but boys can quickly master the use of these products. It can be seen that in some respects, boys really know more than us and learn fast enough to become our teachers.

16 The trick is to be a mother with a sense of humor.

In the family, if you know how to think from the boy's point of view and explain the truth of life in vivid language, it will make him easier to accept and understand, and also feel the happiness. When a boy makes a mistake, we can make him correct it in a humorous way; When the boy is depressed, we can make him smile through tears in a humorous way; When a boy feels inferior, we can make him build up his self-confidence in a humorous way.

Learn to inspire boys with humor, deal with boys' problems with humor, and grasp the scale of humor.