Funny golden sentences with witty remarks

1. When some girls go to worship Buddha, 1 must remember: no makeup! Wan 1 works. Bodhisattva wants to protect you, but I'm afraid she won't find you!

I can't find a girlfriend, so I have to tell my fortune. Fortune teller: Your first half life is doomed to be unattractive. My eyes lit up: what about the second half? Fortune teller: I'll get used to it for the rest of my life.

If being rich is a mistake, I'd rather make it again. In fact, I don't care if I made a mistake. ...

4. Why do many girls like to call themselves foodies now? God replied: because you don't say that you are a foodie, people will think that you are born fat.

Don't be fat, or you will be poor enough to beg, and no one will believe you are a beggar.

6. Jane married a foreigner and took her husband back to his hometown in the country for the New Year. The woman proudly asked the three masters in the village: Is this the first foreigner in our village? The third master pondered for a moment and said, No, the Japanese devils have been here!

7. If you like someone, try to chase, love and confess. Don't give up easily even if you are rejected, hit or hurt. After a dozen failures, you will stop.

8. Taking the courier feels like reuniting with your long-lost flesh and blood, but you often find that the child is very similar to the old king next door after being disassembled.

9. Seeing the news that it is dangerous to play mobile phones while walking scared me to play while running.

10. I quarreled with my girlfriend. After a while, she said, it's okay. Go to sleep first. I confirmed it again and again, and I felt really okay, so I was ready to go to bed, but she sent a dynamic message: after all, I still resist everything alone!

1 1. League of Legends broke up many couples, and Meitu Xiu Xiu also made many online dating.

12. I have a blind date with a girl. My mother likes her very much, so does my father. Finally, I admit that she is my adopted daughter. In a few days, I refused to let us be together because I was not worthy of his precious daughter!

13. I am obviously a rich second generation, but I work for myself to earn money. You can drive a luxury car, but you are crowded with buses every day. Obviously, I can eat by my face, and I work hard myself. This is the difference between me and Mingming.

14. I am a simple-minded person. I just want to marry a rich woman who is terminally ill and live a mediocre life.

15. When I don't want to talk to you, it's useless for you to coax me. At this time, you should give me a red envelope.

16. To tell the truth, my face is perfect as long as it covers two places, one is the left half of my face and the other is the right half.

17. Perfect boyfriend: no smoking, no drinking, no cheating, no existence!

18. I finally know why my feet are always cold, because my legs are long and my blood supply is insufficient, commonly known as high cold.

19. For those parents and teachers who always suspect that I have someone, I just want to say: You overestimate me.

20. After becoming mothers, many women suddenly understand what "a father loves a mountain"! Shan usually just stays there doing nothing, standing on tiptoe.

2 1. I have always had an advantage since I was a child, that is, I can correct mistakes; But I also have a shortcoming, that is, I never think I am wrong.

22. I raised a fish and died. I don't want to be buried I want to be cremated. Who knows, the more you bake this thing, the better it smells. Then I bought a bottle of beer!

23. Today, I trained my dog at home. After the training, my husband walked over and said to the dog earnestly, "Oh, how dare you fight with the tiger?" You are just a dog. "

24. It is said on the Internet that egg white can maintain hair! I hit an egg on my head when I was taking a shower! As a result, the water was too hot to hang an egg flower!

Taking a math exam is like a doctor operating on a dying patient. Anyway, the first sentence is I tried my best.

26. People have to enjoy themselves when they are alive. If you have someone you like, go after them bravely. How else do you know people don't like you at all?

27. Before getting married, I was embarrassed to go out without a thousand dollars. After marriage, I find it difficult to go out and pretend to be a couple of hundred!

Don't speak ill of your friend in front of me, otherwise I can't help talking to you.

29. When you see me staring at you from a distance, don't think that I am interested in you. I really can't see who you are.

30. When something happens, I will not rush to blame others, but reflect on myself first. If it is really my fault, I will think about how to pass it on to others!