Want to know the marriage customs of Chaoyang people?

Propose, also known as propose. That is, the matchmaker proposes to the man, or the matchmaker introduces the woman to the man first, and then proposes to the woman after the man approves.

Marriage has two links. After the two sides propose marriage, the matchmaker writes the woman's name, birthday, place of origin and ancestor on the Geng sticker and sends it to the man. If nothing unexpected or unlucky happens in the man's house within three days, such as throwing bowls and basins, it is called "three days is good" With this good sign, the man agreed to exchange posts with Geng. After changing the Geng post, please ask someone to divine and get married to confirm whether the men and women are born together or together; If you agree, the marriage will have to break up.

Engagement, entering the engagement stage after marriage, that is, the man prepares gifts for the woman to get engaged. Gifts are usually a pair of gold earrings or a gold ring, as well as a gold necklace, sugar and noodles, which are all symbols of engagement. When the woman is engaged, she should give candy and cakes to her relatives and neighbors, inform them of their engagement, and then engage in bride price.

Hire, also known as rent. In the past, the bride price of rich people was gold and silver, colored satin, pigs, sheep and wine. The poor are betel nuts and chicken wine. Chaozhou people regards betel nut as an auspicious symbol and a distinctive employment gift. Modern bride price includes physical objects and cash. There must be more than four items: sugar, noodles, Daji (Chaozhou orange), gold and silver jewelry, cloth, cakes and so on. , but they must not be odd numbers, but even numbers. Cash, also called bride price money, is divided into one, two and four, but they are all multiples. When buying and selling marriage is quite popular, the amount of engagement money becomes the key to the success or failure of marriage. In order to avoid naked bargaining, the two sides called the engaged US dollar bill "tea ware", making it the reward for the woman's parents to have children. The "tea instrument" takes a load of tea as the unit, and the two sides run at both ends through the matchmaker, set a load that is satisfactory to both sides, and then exchange it for cash at the market price before hiring. Some men advance some "tea ware" as early as the engagement stage, which is the most typical commercialization of buying and selling marriage (after liberation, this kind of buying and selling marriage has basically disappeared in Chaoshan area). During the engagement, the woman should return the cake and food in the engagement, and give back "mandarin ducks and bananas", oranges, pig hearts and so on. Yuanyang and banana are two bananas that coexist, symbolizing a hundred years old; The orange homonym "Ji" symbolizes good luck; The pig's heart (half left in the woman's body) symbolizes concentricity. At this time, the two sides will also solemnly distribute cakes and food from each other's gifts to relatives and neighbors to report the wedding. Friends and neighbors should also congratulate them in return.

Please invite. After the engagement ceremony, you should choose the date of marriage and tell the woman, including telling her when to cut the wedding dress, when to "pull your face" (when to open your face, that is, twist the hair off your face with a thread), when to take a shower and when to get married. Most of the invitations are invited in the dark, and the hipster custom still retains the wedding custom of welcoming the bride in the dark, which is really an ancient heritage. In ancient times, weddings always ended in fainting, so wedding ceremonies must be held after dusk or even late at night. Therefore, Interpretation of Names defines marriage and says, "When you get married, you become a gift when you are unconscious; Marriage, female media also. " "White Tiger Yi Tong Marriage" also said: "What is a married person? Salute when you are unconscious, so it is called marriage. "

When Raoping girls in eastern Guangdong reach marriageable age, in order to pray for a satisfactory husband, they always run to the vegetable garden in droves at the Lantern Festival night to sit on mustard (commonly known as Chinese cabbage) and pray devoutly: "Sit on Chinese cabbage and marry a good husband in the future." If the child is older and the marriage is delayed, parents are of course anxious. Therefore, they often ask others for a straw rope to tie tobacco leaves, take it home and say loudly: "Anu's marriage star is floating."

When the Raoping man gives the bride price or betrothal gift to the woman, the woman will give back a piece of cut and undamaged pork, which is called "Yuanyang meat" to show "flesh and blood". The bride pays more attention to bathing and changing clothes before marriage: the flowers or leaves of pomegranate and other 12 plants must be placed in the bathtub. After bathing, the bride can sit in the bathtub and eat two boiled eggs, praying for a smooth birth after marriage. Moreover, the clothes worn by the bride can't be sewn inside and outside, which is intended not to take away the luck of their parents.

Second, the wedding

The wedding ceremony is the ceremony for the groom to marry the bride at the woman's house, and it is also the most important procedure in the wedding. There are two kinds of wedding banquets: one is the groom's wedding banquet, and the other is that the man invites a "lucky man" to meet him. Before the groom gets married, the bride wants to "divide the rice", that is, give a lot of rice mixed with coins to her brothers and sisters at home, indicating that she will share the wealth with everyone. Take a bath with fairy grass and pomegranate flowers when taking a bath. After taking a shower, she stood in a bamboo gourd (big basket) prepared in advance, and the "lucky guy" sent by the man put on her wedding dress. After dressing up, they bid farewell to their elders one by one, and were sent to the door by their unmarried brothers, and then supported by the "lucky ones" on the sedan chair. At this time, the bride often burst into tears, which is called "crying marriage". On the one hand, I cry for being away from my parents. On the other hand, it is said that only tears can make my parents rich. After the bride leaves, the house should be closed immediately, so as to avoid divorce and return to her family in the future because of an accident in her husband's family or a falling out between husband and wife.

The bride's dowry used to be clothes and wooden boxes. In the past, the grand dowry was "the whole hall". "Full face" refers to all the necessary items in the bedroom and hall after the bride arrives at her husband's house, such as kang bed, round table, drum chair, pair chair, suitcase, five buckets (rice bucket, bowl bucket, foot bucket, waist bucket, toilet), dressing table, gold and silver jewelry, etc. I also need to put the seeds in a red bag, carry them with a whole bamboo seedling as a pole, and take them with the bride to her husband's house. The person who comes to her husband's house to choose things for the bride is called "Qinglang".

When the sedan chair comes to the door of her husband's family, they will set off firecrackers to welcome her. The groom kicked off the sedan chair, rolled up the curtain, pulled off the wishful thinking on the bride's head and put on airs on her forehead. Kicking a sedan chair and tying a greeting message are intended to give the bride a fright: everything must be as her husband wishes in the future. This is a hint of the husband's power (interestingly, the bride should "hard" step on the groom's foot before going to bed as revenge for Cha Ruyi). Then the bride, with the help of the bridesmaid, stepped over a pile of burning "fire smoke" under the threshold. After the bride entered the room, accompanied by the "mother-in-law" invited by her husband's family, she "married" the groom, entered the bridal chamber, and served tea to her elders and peers in the main room. At this time, the green mother will recite carols beside her. For example:

The groom kicked the sedan chair door song.

Jiang, please invite your wife to your side.

Today is a good day, they cherish each other and have a heart in mind.

Two songs "Open the car door, through fire and smoke"

Holding my aunt's hand, separated by fire and smoke, husband and wife will grow old together for two hundred years.

Gold immediately jade hall, five generations hold grandchildren under one roof.

The fire smoke moves after stepping and gently steps into the room.

I dream of having a son next year, and both of them are reading poems.

The bride stepped on the fire smoke, and Kirin was a male grandson early.

The husband sings the woman with the bosom friend, and the filial parents want to be diligent.

The golden lotus treads on fire and smoke, and the husband and wife grow old together for a hundred years.

Children and grandchildren are guests of Jinma Yutang, and five generations of grandchildren have grandchildren under one roof.

Enter the hall song

After stepping, the fire and smoke moved, and the leisurely lotus entered the hall.

Fu Lushou will win the highest prize next year.

The song that entered the room

A Niang Yu stepped into the room, and the piano got up early.

Husband and wife grow old together, and children and grandchildren hold the throne.

Beauty advanced to the edge of the bridal chamber, like Guo Ziyi in the Tang Dynasty.

Seven sons and eight husbands came to celebrate their birthdays, and all their children and grandchildren wore brocade.

The bride moved into the moon, and the husband and wife sang in pairs.

The old gentleman came to see off the unicorn son and serve as a priest for his children and grandchildren.

At the wedding reception, according to the rules, the bride is not allowed to come out to sit at the table, only in the bridal chamber, and her mother-in-law or sister-in-law sends something to eat. At the end of the banquet, the mother-in-law will take the bride out to offer tea or betel nuts to relatives and friends. In the past, tea was served in strict accordance with the order of generations, but now it is simplified, and only one table is needed first and then the other. When offering tea, the mother-in-law will teach the bride one by one: Who is this and what is that? When an elder drinks a cup of happy tea, he will give back a red envelope and say some words of blessing.

On the bride's wedding day, her family will give her husband lily soup. May the bride please everyone in her husband's family. The next day, I sent the bride a soup of fungus and pig heart, hoping that the bride would not forget her family and relatives. On the third day, the bride will hold a ceremony of offering sacrifices to Ming Di. Ming Di is the master of fame and fortune, and there will also be ceremonies such as "opening a well", "beating Mi Dou" and "stirring the pot altar". Four months later, the bride will hold a "ceremony to visit her parents", that is, to return to her parents' home. Three times in a row, commonly known as "first time", "second time" and "third time". On the previous two visits to her parents' home, the bride had to have lunch at her parents' home, but she had to return before seeing the smoke from her parents' dinner. Only for the third time can I stay at my parents' house for a few days and talk about my feelings of missing my parents.

Raoping custom, in the bride's dowry, there must be needles, combs and so on. When she arrived at her in-laws' house, the bride gave the needle to her relatives and said that she would learn from them. The comb symbolizes the bride's methodical combing of her hair and so on.

When a girl in Kuitan area of Huilai county marries her husband's family, she should plant two plants of grass-headed incense (Cyperus) in her husband's family's garden with two good bananas (canna, which is homophonic with "good night") brought from her family, in order to pray for a long life and future generations.

Girls here also have the custom of giving money to their sisters when they get married. The "sister money" is given by the groom who came to marry to the younger brothers and sisters who sent the bride on the road. Generally, 4 yuan's score is 4.8. Give money to your sisters and choose a man and a woman to show "good". 448 points, meaning "the world is good" and "the world is not divided (separated)".

Another feature of Huilai folk wedding is that when the bride wants to enter her husband's house, everyone in the house will avoid it. Before the bride arrives, the groom will make a cylinder called "Silver" out of tiles and put it on the threshold, which will contain lilies, licorice and so on. It means a hundred years of harmony, sharing weal and woe, harmony between yin and yang, and good fortune for future generations. Then stand on the threshold, put one hand on the door frame, and let the bride get under the groom's armpit and pass through the threshold and tile pipe. Then, the husband's family can come out to meet.

In Haishan Town, Raoping, the bride will share money with her brother on their wedding day. Mother put the rice in a dustpan or bamboo sieve and shook it vigorously, saying, "After the dustpan is round, the children and grandchildren will be rich;" Even, hold a male grandson next year. " Then divide the money and rice according to the number of brothers and daughters. The bride puts them in a special Chinese-style belly pocket and puts them in her husband's rice jar.

Jieyang folk wedding, the bride's wedding day, the bride's brother must first prepare a gift to the man's home, the gift includes a pair of male and female chickens and a bottle of cosmetic oil. Brother-in-law will be warmly received when he visits his in-laws' home.

In order to repay the bride price sent by the man, Puning people sent two strains of spring grass besides candy, called Caotoujie; Pig heart is called concentric; Five kinds of seeds (rice, mung beans, fermented cakes, dried longan and potato powder pills) are called Wuzi at home; Some bananas are called strokes; Sweet black bean ball is to bring it to Qiu Qi. In addition, on the eve of marriage, some brides will invite their sisters of the same age to eat "coarse" beets and sleep together in front of the stove covered with straw mats. Why is there such a custom Legend has it that a stepmother abused her ex-wife. She is very cruel. Even on her wedding day, she didn't give her a good look and was ordered to sleep on the floor in front of the stove. Unexpectedly, after the girl got married, her husband's family immediately made a fortune. Therefore, people have followed suit and even followed suit.

Chenghai spread a "Marriage Song", saying:

In the first month of Jingchun, Sinian had no desire to marry.

No scissors to share the shoe ruler, no comb to comb your hair.

I sent a letter to my eldest brother in a hurry, and he gave Yi his quilt box.

The second brother gave Jin Yuanyang, and the third brother gave Kim the highest position.

Fourth brother didn't go back to be an official; Sister-in-law gave the hairpin to her head,

Sister-in-law gave her shoes and a dragon and phoenix bun.

Sisao gave gifts to the aunt's temples and feet; My grandparents gave me ear hooks,

My wife and father gave pillows, and my sisters gave umbrellas.

The umbrella was pulled up to cover the mother's head.

This reflects Chenghai's wedding custom: when a girl is about to become a bride, relatives and friends will give her gifts one after another, which is called "sending pollen". After the bride and husband took the dowry and gifts from relatives and friends, they piled up on the wedding bed for people to watch. Later, I found a suitable cloth from the dowry cloth and gave it to my husband, wife and her husband's sisters and brothers as a courtesy. Those who look after the bride should give the bride "face money" (gifts). The bride received the gratuity and returned it to her parents-in-law. In fact, after reading it, the parents-in-law usually take nothing and give back the bride's private money.

The groom should hold a solemn ceremony of "fixing the bed" when decorating the new house. When I was in bed, I asked the fortune teller to choose a date, and the orientation of the bed was also particular. When you are in bed, you should do "four sentences" for good luck. For example:

East, west, north and south are good days.

The old fairy boy is here, and the male and female will come to have grandchildren next year.

There was a plate of oranges left in the room, and the bride came into the room to teach the groom.

Two sons will be born next year, one is a minister and the other is an assistant minister.

The big quilt draws the four corners, and thousands of children and grandchildren are together.

The boy who made a fortune will live longer than Nanshan Fulu.

After the bed is installed, you should put a sign of "Good luck in bed" and a spell of invitation in advance on the bed, and then ask a boy to lie in bed for a while, indicating that you want to have children early. As soon as the bed is set, the woman sits on it. Also want to worship ancestors, tell the rest of the family to get married, and make a "four sentences" cloud:

Light a candle to light up the court, and the hall is full of light and bright lights;

Golden dragon flies with wealth, and husband and wife are happy.

When Chaoyang women got married, they still kept some ancient customs, such as "hanging a pig fork". In the past, a piece of fat pork was hung in front of the sedan chair that the groom's family came to marry.

Legend has it that this custom began in the Ming Dynasty. Li Ling, the county magistrate who was studying in Jiangxi at that time, was on leave at home. One day, she saw her neighbor carrying a sedan chair to marry the bride. Li Ling said that this day was an unlucky day for the "Luo Monkey" (a fierce animal in folklore). But the sedan chair had gone out, and the neighbors asked Li Ling if there was any way to save it. Li Ling suggested hanging a pig fork in front of the sedan chair. In case of "Luo monkey", the pig breast can be eaten, and the bride can be safe. The neighbor complied, and sure enough, nothing happened. Since then, other families have to marry the bride, and also "hang a pig fork" in front of the sedan chair to ward off evil spirits according to law, gradually forming a custom that has been passed down to this day. Although there is no sedan chair now; But some people still hang a piece of fat pork on the handle of the bicycle carrying the bride. When the bride wears heavy makeup and gets on the sedan chair, the bride's family will pour a basin of water on the sedan chair and say, "When the water is poured on the sedan chair, the bride will become new." Send my best wishes to the married bride. However, of course, it is no longer a sedan chair, but bicycles or motorcycles and cars.

In Haifeng and Lufeng areas, brides should wear "wedding clothes" before getting married. A "wedding dress" usually consists of five coats (there are also three or seven). The one above is from my in-laws, mostly dresses; The second is a linen shirt, which must be worn on the reverse side; The third one is a white shirt, and there is a saying that "the dead dress up". After putting on my wedding clothes, I cried goodbye to my parents and got on the sedan chair.

Another custom is "dart green". "Green" is made of branches and leaves of banyan trees. The sedan chair arrived at the groom's door, and the "good man" who accompanied the sedan chair put the "green" dart brought from her family on the roof of the groom's house, with four words written on it:

Green dart, five men and two women. Grow old together and be happy.

The bride and groom eat at the same table for the first time, and the "lucky ones" feed them. After eating half a bowl of rice, they exchanged the rest. When they get married, the couple sit at the two ends of the bed and eat "Jiefang Garden", which is still fed by the "lucky ones". After eating half, they exchange the rest.

A pair of painted pillows should be placed at the bedside of the new house, which is a metaphor for the relationship between husband and wife. "If you know in advance that the couple are allergic to lacquer, you can use bamboo pillows instead, which means' wholeheartedly' (bamboo is homophonic with Germany in Chaozhou). Some beds have a bamboo pole on the top of the wardrobe, which means that the couple will shoulder the burden of new family life together. In the past, the bride had to have two pairs of wooden shoes in her dowry, which not only facilitated her daily life, but also meant "growing old together" or "following suit".

After the bride enters the door, she has to get up early to cook and cook a bowl of fragrant rice by herself. The old man, the old woman and her husband's brothers and sisters got up and invited them to taste some. It is said that this bowl of sweet rice, sugar should be brought from her family, and when cooking, you must mix your own saliva into the rice soup. Of course, saliva mixed with rice soup has to be made quietly, and people who eat it don't have to ask more. This custom means that the in-laws eat fragrant rice with the saliva of the bride, and the bride and the whole family can live in harmony.

During the three days of their wedding, the bride and in-laws should avoid meeting each other. On the fourth morning, the bride will go to the public well where the new house is located to fetch water. Before pumping water, put a handful of brown sugar and soil brought by her family into the well. This is to make the bride not "acclimatized" and live in harmony with her neighbors.

Third, the bridal chamber.

No matter where, the climax of the wedding is "holding a wedding". The same is true of Chaoshan. No matter how old or young, rich or poor, familiar or unfamiliar, as long as you say "Look at the bride", "Green Mom" will immediately open the curtain, let the bride come to the door to offer tea and worship the bell, and present various sachets embroidered with auspicious birds and animals and fruits of the four seasons. The sachet was embroidered by the bride in the boudoir before marriage. People should judge the bride's dexterity, clumsiness, diligence and laziness from the skill and quantity of these embroidery crafts.

The most distinctive custom in Chaoshan is "doing four sentences". "Four sentences" is the jingle of "four sentences". If you want to see the bride's face, you must say "four words" of good luck before the bride will put down the fan that covers her face. If someone talks nonsense, then Qing Niang won't let the bride appear with a fan, just politely offer cigarettes and tea to make him say a good word again. There are also some humorous hooligans who use the method of first restraining and then promoting, or first restraining and then promoting, so that a bride does not know how to answer. Like "the bride looks like a peach blossom, and the family will stagger." The word "staggered people" has two meanings: one is to be able to contact people and unite people, which is a good meaning; First, it's derogatory not to have sex with others, proper relationship. When Qing Niang heard this ambiguous sentence, she immediately became alert and prepared to make four counterattacks. Suddenly, she heard the song: "The wrong sisters are good sisters, studying literature and martial arts." Therefore, Xi Niang greeted with a smile and offered tea and cigarettes. Others sang: "When the bride gets married, she will have nine children in ten years." These two sentences are auspicious for Chaoshan people who value their children. Unexpectedly, the naughty bridal chamber sang next: "Five opium, four cards." This will spoil the fun.