Li Hongzhang fortune-telling video

Li Hongzhang once said that the easiest thing to do in the world is to be an official. If a person can't even be an official, it's useless. Actually, it's too easy to say. Not everyone can be an official. There is a lot of learning in being an official. A joke: A county magistrate asked a clever blind man to tell his fortune. The blind man doesn't know it's the county magistrate. He touched the head of the county magistrate and said, "This is a dog's head, and it's cheap!" " "The magistrate's entourage was frightened to disgrace and furious, and wanted to beat the blind. The county magistrate stopped it with a gesture. The blind man touched the chest of the county magistrate again and said, "This is chicken breast. What a narrow-minded and scheming person! "Touching his knee again, he exclaimed," This is a tiger's knee. You should kneel down and be a seven-product official. "Although this is a joke, we can see the difference between officials and people. To be honest, one is one, the other is two, black is black and white is white. Being an official can't be clean, and being clean means incompetence and lack of spirit and courage. An official should always be dignified and awe-inspiring, full of mandarin, shouting five drinks and six drinks, telling the dead to live, telling the fake to be true, dare to say anything, dare to do any instructions, and pretend to understand everything, which is called escorting three mountains and five mountains. I'm here! These honest people dare not do it, but they can't do it without it. Integrity, neither arrogance nor rashness, but neither arrogance nor rashness. Slavery, flattery, the most despised. Being an official is different. In officialdom, one should be good at reading words, watching the wind and steering, catering to the melody, and be glib, wise and treacherous, brave and decisive, good at making moves, knowing how to make moves and being able to make moves. Historically, Yan Song and He Kun were masters in this field and became "darumas" in power for a while. A man should be compassionate, compassionate and human. To be an official, you must restrain your opponents and exclude dissidents. You should not be soft-hearted. We should dare to put righteousness above family interests, frighten tigers, lure snakes out of their holes and go upstairs to get ladders. In times of crisis, it is heroic to show authority and risk people's lives. Be a person with shame, shyness and dignity. To be an official, you must be proficient in flattery and theft, dare to curry favor with your boss, have the cheek to send it, and give up your dignity to be an official. Bow and scrape, low eyebrow pleasing to the eye, not only won't make people look down upon, but "progress" quickly. People who have tasted shit, pharyngitis, washing birds and rubbing their feet in history are not successful in my career! Brave, honest and humble. Being an official is not like this, sometimes it takes a long time to study and study, which shows its prudence; Sometimes it takes a little hypocrisy and ambiguity to show talent. There was a Su Weidao in the Tang Dynasty: "If you make a mistake about something you don't understand, you will be accused, but you can stick to both ends.". "But more need arrogance and self-righteousness to show extraordinary spirit and superiority. Officials are made by people, although officials and people have many similarities, such as eating and drinking Lazarus, burping and farting, and having sex and having fun. But once you become an official, it's different. You get carried away and forget that you are human. Yuan Zongdao summed it up in three sentences in the late Ming Dynasty: "Be a dog to your boss, a ghost to your colleagues, and a god to the people. "The cartoonist Han Yu once wrote" Official Clothing ". The picture shows the black hat, official uniform and official boots, but the face and body are missing. The topic is humorous and wonderful: "When I was a child, Black Powder appeared as a walk-on, got acquainted with the people in the troupe, ate and drank, talked and laughed, and my second brother was pockmarked all over his face." I was laughing just now, but when I put on my official clothes, guess what? His face is tight, his back is tight, he is arrogant, he wants to teach people, he is swaggering, he is swaggering, in a word, he is inviolable. As soon as you take off your official uniform, guess what? Hey! Big brother and second brother are pockmarked. "Without official robes, you are still a crying and scolding guy, still shouting' Big Brother and Second Brother Pockmarked Brother'. Once you put on the yellow robe, your identity has changed, your style has changed, your tone has changed, and even your facial features have changed. With a straight face, put on airs, arrogant and dignified, just like an "official" image. However, once you take off your official clothes and step down from your official position, you will be a man with your tail between your legs. Finally, I want to make a statement: not all officials are like this. Some people are just like officials, keeping their true colors.